Always Asking Why (?) - Sally's ramblings

Why have a landline?

2012-01-27T11:31:00.002-05:00

I have been experimenting with something recently. I never answer our landline. I then use the *69 feature to see who was calling. Often it is blocked but just as often it is a phishing call or a robocall. I cannot believe how many of these there are. Who actually talks to them? Who actually gives their financial information to them? They must be mildly successful since there are so many of them.

Why have a landline? It is tied up with our internet connection but we can get around that, I think. I have trained most of my family and friends to only use my cell phone. There is a message on the landline to call my mobile to get ahold of me. I also include it at the end of every email you get from me.

I wonder if anyone else has the same experience with the robocalling phishing scammers? Does anyone see a problem with not having a landline? My cell may break, but would that be the worst thing in the world to be detached from a phone for a few days?

When we had the early Halloween snow storm this year, we were without electricity for over 2 days. Our landline died before our cell phones, and we could go somewhere to recharge them, so I think in an emergency the cells might be more effective.

SO help me out here, please! Do you have the same experience with calls? Have you considered dropping your landline? Am I crazy to be contemplating it?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

New hot water bottle on it's way

2012-01-04T17:21:00.004-05:00

I cannot remember which wise person I learned this from. It might have been a member of my womens group or another group I belong to.

On these nights during the cold winter months, about 15 minutes before bed time I fill a hot water bottle, and put it under the covers of my side of the bed. When I arrive, my bed is warm, and my feet don't freeze.

Last winter, at the end of the winter, the hot water bottle sprung a leak. It was a small leak, but nevertheless, a leak. Our second hot water bottle also had a small leak so I pitched that as well. I did my research and read the reviews and last night ordered a new one online. Why did I not visit our local pharmacy you ask? I looked and they are not the same quality. Even some of the reviews about the one I purchased, mentioned that often ones bought at CVS or Walgreens are inferior.

This is such a small purchase, and one I am so excited to receive. This routine of warming the bed has happened for many years. Before central heating there were in fact bed warmers.

As the temperature was 12 degrees when I left for yoga this morning, the USPS shipment cannot come soon enough! - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Christmas present

2012-01-04T17:11:00.004-05:00

Sunday afternoon I spent a relaxed two hours listening to a reading of "A Christmas Carol" in front of a fire in our church's Parker Hall. This is an annual tradition.

Dan Fenn, a member of our congregation, reads the story, the fire roars, and cookies and cider are consumed part way through the two hours. Time stood still, or crawled very slowly, as I listened to Dicken's story. I imagined what Christmas was like for the characters in the story.

I must admit that my mind occasionally wandered during the two hours and to-dos entered my mind but just like in yoga or meditation, I kept bringing my attention back to the story. There were some there, who were hearing Dan read it for the first time, and there were others, two of his offspring were there, who have heard it every Christmas Eve of their lives either read by Dan, Dan's father, or Dan's grandfather.

I cherish the traditions that my family has like this and I cherish the opportunity to spend 2 hours listening to an old story and sliding peacefully into this season of lights and miracles and traditions and family.

It is a challenge to live in the present in this season of high expectations for a perfect holiday created by Walmart or Kohl's advertising. For those two hours, for the most part, I was present with the story. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Christmas "Card" 2011

2011-12-25T21:06:00.000-05:00

Friends and Family,

We missed our letter last year so here is a whirlwind travel through our two years. When we last wrote our letter we were headed to Thailand to visit Bethany who was in the middle of a Comparative Religion and Culture Junior year abroad program. Our ten days with her were wonderful. Fortunately the three of us will never tire of visiting temples since we went to many of them in Chang Mai, Thailand and Siem Reap, Cambodia. Rodney still can't quite get over the whole Angkor Wat World Heritage site.

In January of 2010, Rodney joined our church choir, Sally followed him a few months later and they have been regular tenor and alto ever since. In February we had two great adventures in Vermont. We skated across a beautiful frozen lake for two miles to Knight Island and back as part of the Great Ice. We were joined on this spectacular day, by George and Judy, who moved to Burlington Vt, December 2009, and our Lexington friends, the Svenson/Jas clan. We also hosted the Coniston Winter Olympics complete with cross country skiing down our mound and a fox and geese game in the snow.

In April, we travelled to Vero Beach for a weekend visit with Mom and Charlie. Mom and I discovered during this trip that we can carry on several conversations at once and know which one, the other one is in. The men in our family, who cannot, were so patient with us that weekend and always, as we jumped from subject to subject, sometimes mid-sentence.

May took us to Bermuda on a cruise to celebrate 25 years of knowing each other. We visited the Robin Hood Pub where we first met, and went to several beautiful beaches, all on the excellent bus/ferry system of Bermuda. We really relaxed during our days at sea and did our laps of the deck for exercise, to work off some of the calories we were taking in at meals.

On our way to a wedding in California of some Star Island friends Bethany and I stopped off in Denver to visit a Theology school Bethany is considering applying to and we were able to get to know the city a little before we moved on to join Sally for a few days in San Francisco.

September brought us one of the happiest events of the last two years when Chris and Meg were married in a wonderful ceremony held in a large tent on our property in Vermont. The weather was perfect and the whole event was even better. All of Sally's family was able to attend including all of Chris's cousins which was amazing considering they are almost all away at college. Six of his English family were able to attend and it was the first time they had ever met some of his American relatives. A large group of Meg's Moore family with Sally's large Russell clan on top of a Lowe and Swartzbaugh contingent added up to a very good time had by all.

The most significant event in our lives for the whole two years was probably Sally's retirement in December 2010. It was a hard decision to leave a great place to work, but a year later I am glad I made this decision. You can always find out what I am up to, including what I am up to in retirement by going to my blog, sally-alwaysaskingwhy.blogspot.com.

Another very significant event our lives was the graduation of Bethany from Global College in May this year and her return from Brooklyn saw the arrival of Shakes the wonder cat who she adopted because she though his neurological problems would hinder his adoption by anyone else. However he endears himself to everyone with his inability to behave like a cat physically while at the same time has the same 'world revolves around me' attitude of all cats

This year we took a trip to visit with Rod's English family, especially Olive and Winter our young grandnieces who we had yet to meet in person. It was a delight visiting them and the rest of the family many of whom hadn't been able to make it over for Chris and Meg's wedding. We also took the opportunity while on the way to the Northeast to take a couple of side-trips to visit American friends Andy, Miriam and Jake who had moved to Islington so we were introduced to a part of London we would not normally have seen. And we also we very happy to reconnect with friends Anne and David in Aylesbury who we are ashamed to say we had not seen in 15 years or more.

After a sad trip to Sally's Uncle Chuck's memorial service in Nebraska in June we agreed on the spot to return later in the year to catch up with as many of the Colorado cousins as we could. We kept that promise by returning in September and spent most of our time being hosted by Sally's cousin Nancy, who she had grown up with in Yampa, and husband Rex. We basically shadowed these beef ranchers as they did their daily work and we agreed that our lifestyles are about as far apart as it is possible to get. We were also really pleased to get to know Patrick, Sally's nephew a little better. His parents do the beef ranching and he does the crop farming. Having spent time with the military in Iraq he came back with all sorts of ideas about how to prevent turning his land into the same dustbowl he saw in the Middle East. Sally and I were captivated as we learned about how 'no-till' farming can improve the organic content of his soils and improve its moisture content. The trip was enhanced by a wonderful canoe trip down the Niobrara River paddling alongside a swimming beaver, barely missing being trampled by a scared 4 point buck and taking an unexpected bath (Nancy and Rod’s canoe) after a disagreement with a downed tree.

We end the year in a very happy place and as always continue to count our blessings. One kid happily married and now living in Coniston, our Vermont home where we can still visit and stay in the loft whenever we want. Another kid launched with a nice job working as a legal assistant, while she applies to Theology schools, and living fairly close by so we see her regularly. Sally is happily retired and fills each day with friends, health and hobbies. Rodney is happy in his work and has found his artistic medium in charcoal and pastels.

Our Christmas wishes for a Happy New Year extend to you and your family, the economy and our government, and an ever present hope for world peace encouraged by the Arab Spring tempered by a power shift in North Korea.

Where to find Holiday Spirit?

2011-12-09T14:50:00.001-05:00

I don't have a long list of errands to run for the holiday season but I have a few so I ventured out today to knock off a few. I ventured to the local LL Bean store and their shared parking lot was a "parking lot" in traffic commentator lingo.

I was not in a hurry so I spotted someone getting into their car, and pulled into that aisle with my correct blinker on waiting for his spot. In the meantime another car pulled into the aisle and was going to pull into a spot opposite the one I was signaling for, which was about to be vacant.

Boston drivers will not understand some of this post and I apologize in advance for that.

It would have made more sense for her to take the spot I had my eye on and for me to take hers, but I figured I had already committed and since I am not in a hurry I could wait for the gentleman to adjust his mirrors, put on his seat belt, count the money in his wallet, phone his wife and then turn the car on. I was being patient though, honest I was.

The other driver stopped, and in hand signals asked me if I was pulling into the other spot. Through a series of hand signals and I do not mean middle finger gestures, I assured her that I was waiting for the other spot and she pulled into the one that was vacant. I jumped out and thanked her for checking with me to see if I wanted to pull into the vacant spot.

This whole experience surprised me, since my experience is that Boston drivers would cut you off for the parking spot, and never would they stop and check to see if you wanted the one they were about to pull into. They might pull in and then ask you, but the point is moot then.

That was the first place I found Holiday spirit today.

The second place was Trader Joe's. I was going to go to Market Basket where the prices are cheaper, but I had an errand at Trader Joe's so I bought my groceries there today. ALL of the clerks were genuinely in a good mood and happy, unless they hire a lot of actors. The aisles are wide and the place is clean and organized. The check out person, when I presented my canvas bag and asked to try to fit it all in, helped me in my effort to put it all in so I did not have to take a paper or plastic bag. He understood that by bringing my own bag I am doing what I can for the environment and we had a real conversation about that. My experience at Market Basket and Stop and Shop is that they fight me and try to give me plastic bags when I bring my own. "Are you sure you don't want this is a separate bag?" they ask me at Market Basket. So the second gift I got today, was a 15 minute shopping adventure at Trader Joe's and genuinely happy workers.

These are silly and simple gifts, but they are gifts, and they are where I found the Holiday spirit today.

Holiday Workshop 2011 - an antidote

2011-12-09T14:29:00.001-05:00

Our Church has an event early in December called the Holiday Workshop. I documented it for other churches to use and it has it's own blog. Here is the history of it and some of the craft projects that have now been made for decades at this event.

This is by far my favorite inter-generational event at First Parish. For three hours, I let go of the need to "buy" a perfect Christmas. Over the years my need to buy has diminished to almost nothing, however, I know those advertising execs are really smart, and subliminally the commercialization is creeping into my mind. The holiday workshop is an antidote to the Walmart and Kohls advertisements.

Last Saturday, there was a new project making stained glass windows out of tissue paper. I spent 2 hours there, making mine and then helping others make theirs.

It is so simple to put on a holiday workshop, little financial investment and the joy it brings to almost all participants is amazing. The fire place has a warm fire, stories are read by the fire, cider and cookies are consumed and home made presents are assembled. It is not about the gift but rather the time we spent helping each other, talking to each other, being with each other is warm community.

We talked last Saturday about having an event like this Quarterly, rather than once a year. That is how much it means to participants. They want more of this kind of activity. It is absolutely the perfect way to enter the holiday season, contrary to what the designers of Black Friday advertising want me to believe.

I won't be defeated by technology

2011-12-03T17:35:00.001-05:00

I refuse to be defeated by technology. For a few weeks now, my iphone and ipad calendars have had something funky going on. Funky is a technical term BTW. Yesterday, I started getting alerts on my iphone and ipad which I had not been getting before. New feature I thought. Actually it turns out that another calendar account on the ipad and iphone were associated with another family member's calendar, and that calendar has alerts set up. My calendar was not the default. HMMMMM? I had deleted and re-added my email account three weeks ago to try to fix the problem, and during that process the default calendar changed.

It was not really bothering me a lot, however, I knew that at some point I would have to resolve it. Why today? I had a few minutes and I was mildly frustrated with having to look at both iphone and ipad for calendar entries. I was cruising along, comparing my desktop yahoo calendar with ipad and iphone and then . . .
BIG MISTAKE: I deleted my account on the iphone with any calendar events which I had input there. At first I was pretty peeved with myself, but being the quintessential Pollyanna, I knew I could recover from that. I would have to find out what recent events I had input into just the iphone, e.g. hair dressing appointment in January. I will have to "Think like Sally" to recover all of those. (If I blow you off in the next few weeks, here is my apology in advance.) Sorry.

I searched some Apple forums, and other people have had the same problem (sync between Yahoo calendar and Iphone) recently and it is not clear whether it is an Apple or Yahoo problem. I don't care, I just want my ipad, iphone and desktop to reflect the same calendar, and for now they do.

On to the next problems of duplicated contacts on my iphone, which meekishly I tell you has gone on for months. Better duplicated than deleted and gone forever.
Bottom line is I am willing to put up with inaccuracies for a bit, but sooner or later, I want that technical challenge and I jump in. This explains why a prior career of mine was as a computer programmer. I love finding bugs, and am convinced that I will always find it, or them.
Today, Technology did not defeat me, and only briefly did I think it might.

Where have I been? NYC for a weekend

2011-11-11T18:25:00.002-05:00

Wow, I just looked at the date of my last blog and it was exactly one month ago. Where have I been you might ask?, or maybe you don't ask!

Let's start with last weekend.

A few of my girlfriends from Star have plotted for a few years that we should meet in NYC at Karen's apartment. Miraculously the plan actually came to fruition and last weekend, four of us spent two wonderful days and nights together.

Bon and I took the bus from Alewife and were dropped off just three blocks from where Karen lives. Joni came from MD via Amtrak. Karen cooked a wonderful pasta dinner for us Friday night and we caught up.

Saturday morning, and it was pretty chilly, we set off on foot to explore Karen's neighborhood. We walked on the HighLine, which was a wonderful, explored the Chelsea Piers, and walked, A LOT.

Karen belongs to the Rubin Art Museum, which is art from the Himalyas. If you have not visited this museum, I would recommend it. We spent 1 hour with a guide in one quarter of one of their six floors. I will be back to visit. The cafe at the Rubin is a very good value, so plan a meal when you visit.

The only NYC touristy thing we did was visit Macy's. We almost lost Bonnie and again we only explored one half of one floor.

Mostly, we got to know Karen's neighborhood, walked a lot, laughed a lot and decided that this was the first annual visit. Karen agrees, although our venues in the future might include DC and Boston.

Joni left Sunday morning, and the three remaining took the Metro to Washington Square. New Yorkers are probably familiar with the piano player there, but it was an eye opener for us and it served as our Sunday morning worship.

Karen took us to a Greenwich Village tradition, Cafe Reggio and then we left at 2pm to return to Boston, Unfortunately the NYC marathon caused havoc to our route home. We actually went via NJ. There is nothing wrong with NJ, but I did not expect to visit it during our NYC weekend.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Beyond my Expectations for Customer Service

2011-10-11T16:48:00.001-04:00

As promised here is my blog post about my computer repair experience.

We bought a new HP tower computer from Costco last November. When we replaced it, the desktop was 11 years old. Thursday night the monitor was not receiving input from the computer.

Monday morning, I called the Costco Concierge number. I spent about 10 minutes on the phone as that technician debugged and then he called the HP technician. This was on Columbus Day, BTW.

I spent about 20 minutes on the phone with HP, and the whole time the Costco tech was still on the call. They were going to have me ship the tower to HP and have a turn around of 14 days but I pushed back and said, "I would rather have a tech come and do it here." "Oh, for $50, we can send a tech out." This was the only bad part of my experience, why did they not suggest that solution first?

At the end of the call, the Costco rep said he would set up a tickler to call me in a week to see if everything worked out OK. I was delighted at their pro activity.

Monday after our call, they Fedexed the new mother board, it got here Tuesday at 11am and at 3:31 pm, a tech called to see he if could come over and install the new motherboard. I watched very carefully and actually think I can do this next time.

So, from Monday morning at 9am until Tuesday afternoon at 4:30 was the length of this repair cycle, which included the Fedex from TX.

This is not my experience of computer repair in the past. Although it has been 11 years since we bought a new desktop.

In the past, I would have had to ship it, or take it in somewhere. I had already looked on Yelp to see which computer repair places I might have to bring it to.

Have things really changed that much that this kind of service is routine? I hope so. Shout outs to Kevin at Costco, Ed (I think) at HP and the tech who installed it, Cuong P. I am a very delighted user, again, of the HP tower computer.

The iPad can do a lot but there are certain things, like reading a CD for the class I was teaching last night, that it just does not do.

Nebraska - 4 wheeling with my Cousin Nancy

2011-10-05T14:20:00.001-04:00

This is a series of my impressions of our trip last week to visit Nancy, Rex and Pat on their ranch/farm in Nebraska

4 Wheeling Nancy asked me if I wanted to ride behind her on the 4 wheeler. I was up for it. Little did I know that she is a maniac on it and I soon became a maniac. At first I felt like I was going to fall off and held around her middle. After a while I just held onto two bars, and by the time we were at the cows, I had blisters on my hands from holding on. I drove coming back, and she almost fell off once when I accelerated too quickly.

This means of transportation is how they check on their cows. It saves a lot of wear and tear on the truck, and these machine go over everything. I have new respect for the use of these 4 wheelers, or ATVs, I think is what we call them!

Nebraska - Dust and No Till Farming

2011-10-05T14:13:00.004-04:00

This is a series of my impressions of our trip last week to visit Nancy, Rex and Pat on their ranch/farm in Nebraska

No Till Farming - While Pat served in Iraq he observed that Iraq used to be one of the most fertile parts of the world, and is now a desert. His observation is that they do not take care of the soil, and make sure that enough organic matter is kept in the soil. He has joined/and is very active, in a group which believe there is a way to rotate crops and leave parts of the stalks in the meadow in an effort to build more organic matter into the soil. This is a long term vision and they have already had lots of success with their vision. This winter, they will graze the cows on the meadows, which have stalks full of protein in them, rather than baling hay and feeding the cows that. It seems to be a pretty complex matrix and rotation of crops. Their statistics say they have already returned organic matter into the soil. One of their neighbors who is skeptical of their methods said to Pat one of the days we were there "Your corn looks better than mine." Pat smiled.

Dust - Apparently they just live with dust all the time. Their ranch is on a gravel road and since there is very little rain, any time a vehicle travels down the road there is a cloud of dust. At times, if you are following another vehicle you cannot see in front of you while driving. A farmer, down their road is harvesting potatoes so there were quite a few trucks carrying potatoes to the Coop in town 11 miles away. They commented each time, that since this year will be a bumper crop of corn, that the dust when all the farmers are harvesting will be overwhelming. When we drove the horse trailer and pickup to doctor the calves, the saddles in that short trip had a pretty thick layer of dust already.

This was the sky as Pat was fixing the tractor

It is interesting that fields that are planted without the crop rotation they are using, have a lot more dust. Their methods keep roots in the ground to hold the dirt down. I have been back over a week, and I still smell dust!

Nebraska - Equipment Breaks

2011-10-03T15:43:00.000-04:00

This is a series of my impressions of our trip last week to visit Nancy, Rex and Pat on their ranch/farm in Nebraska

Equipment breaks - A lot of their time is spend ferrying equipment, trouble shooting equipment, and repairing equipment. Fortunately Pat is a very good mechanic and can repair most anything.

We arrived on Thursday and Pat was supposed to be planting at a leased field 20 miles north. When we first got there he was repairing a fuel line on their big tractor, and had to wait for a Fedex shipment of a part at noon the next day. Most of Friday was spent waiting for that piece and installing it. On Saturday night when he was supposed to be finally planning he discovered a problem with the exhaust system and repaired that Saturday night and Sunday.

On Friday, Rex drove up a piece of equipment which had a flat tire on the way up, 3 miles from the field. He had been watching the tires but obviously took his eye off it for a few seconds and shredded the tire. While Pat was repairing that tire, he also fixed another tire on a tractor they they borrowed from their landlord at this field.

Later that day Rex and Rod started to take another piece of equipment named the "Weeble Wobble". It is so named because when you fill the container with seeds, it leans to one side and wobbles, but it does not fall down. They ran out of gas only 5 miles into the trip and we took them a 5 gallon tank full of gas and before they could start it up, they needed brake fluid which we hurried to get before the store closed at 6pm. There seemed to be quite a bit of discussion as to whether this particular piece of equipment has a long term future in their process.

We did not see much planting because of these equipment problems, but I know they do plant a lot because the sunflowers we observed were absolutely beautiful. I am sure Pat is driving his tractor right now, as he plants his fall crops, fingers crossed the equipment is behaving.

Cousin Nancy and me, and Pat's sunflowers

These fields are beautiful

Sunflowers are supposed to face the ground so birds don't get to the seeds

Nebrasksa trip - Doctoring calves

2011-10-03T15:23:00.000-04:00

This is a series of my impressions of our trip last week to visit Nancy, Rex and Pat on their ranch/farm in Nebraska

Doctoring cows - they have livestock in three separate meadows, all leased. None of the meadows are close to each other, but nothing in Nebraska is close to anything. They check on the calves at least every third day and while we were there, during the checks they found some sick calves. Usually they drive the 4-wheeler the 15 miles to the meadow, but since we were with them, they drove the truck. Nancy showed us how to determine if a calf is sick. Look at their eyes to make sure they are alert, look for mucus coming out of their noses, plus she probably looks at 1000 more things. These were the two I could identify. Since she has done this forever, she has a keen sense of the calves and their health. All the calves and mothers have a tag in their ear, so we took note of the numbers of the sick ones.

We returned to the house and picked up the horse trailer, with 2 saddled horses. They have developed a very efficient way to doctor the sick calves. They park the horse trailer near a fence, and set up a corral to contain the mother and calf. Once this is set up, Nancy and Rex set off to bring back the first pair. Rod is very very very disappointed that I did not get a picture of him rounding up cows the second day. They brought back 3 pairs, and Rod and his horse Doc were part of that roundup.

The mother ends of in the horse trailer and the calf is in a little pen. In about 5 minutes they give them two injections, take their temperature and on to the next pair. Their feeling is this is less stress on the calves. In our time there we doctored two meadows of calves for a total of 6 calves. A rancher gets to know her/his cows very well to know whether they are OK or not, and to know when they needed doctoring. There was lots of discussion about vaccinations, and whether they should have vaccinated them earlier to prevent these ones from getting sick.

The process seems to be continually improved. They acknowledged that they are not Cowboys, like Nancy's brothers and nephews, but this system of doctoring calves works very well for them, and it did seem like very little stress on the calves.

Another shamelessly borrowed post from a Vermont friend from High School is my quote of the day now

2011-09-06T21:09:00.000-04:00

Vermont is a state I love... I love Vermont because of her hills and valleys, her scenery and invigorating climate, but most of all, I love her because of her indomitable people. They are a race of pioneers who almost impoverished themselves for love of others. If ever the spirit of liberty should vanish from the rest of the Union, it could be restored by the generous share held by the people in this brave little State of Vermont." -- Calvin Coolidge, after the floods of 1927 - shamelessly borrowed from Sherry Russell's facebook post (no relation, but a friend from Otter Valley Union High School in Brandon Vt)

I found this post on Sherry Russell's Facebook just now. Occasionally I find a post on Facebook that just HAS to become my quote of the day, which this one now is.

I have been watching videos and seeing pictures of the flooding in Vermont for a week now. We spent Hurricane Irene in South Hero Vermont, where there was a lot of wind and rain. There was not the damage at our house, that we saw when we drove south on Monday morning from our house in VT.

The Richmond exit was closed and the Park and Ride there had lots of cars under water. The West Lebanon NH exit, where we usually stop was also closed. It was not until I got home Monday morning, and saw some of the devastation in the pictures, including my hometown, Brandon, that I realized the severity of Hurricane Irene and it's impact on my home state.

Vermont is not NYC, so there was not the media blitz prior to Irene. The impact of the water was probably not predictable prior to the hurricane.

I read an article about the volunteer efforts in VT to get people food and clothing and I ordered a t-shirt from this company. It was not until I saw this post on Facebook, though that I really identified as a Vermonter. There is a history of strong Vermonters in my family, and at a time like this, I wish I could do something more than buy a t-shirt. Maybe I could go up and volunteer . . . an extra pair of hands would be helpful.

Memories of another hurricane-Bonnie

2011-08-29T16:00:00.002-04:00

As hurricane Irene bears down on us this weekend I can't help but relive another similar hurricane, Bonnie. It was the same time of year, and it also hit land in North Carolina.

My Mom and her husband Charlie organized a BIG family reunion on Bald Head Island in NC. It is a wonderful resort island off Cape Fear, where you drive around in a golf cart. Every rental house has a golf cart to use. The beach there is warm and beautiful and the golf course is to die for.

Most of both of our families were present, and it was the first time that we met most of them. Mom and Charlie rented some big houses, we all arrived, took the ferry to the island and we settled in. We ate communal meals and visited each other. We watched stars through Dan's wonderful telescope, played tennis and golf and in general, we played.

Mom had the foresight to know that Hurricane Bonnie might be a threat, so when we were evacuated mid-week, we moved en mass to the Hilton in Wilmington NC, where Mom had reserved enough rooms. Bethany and her cousins sang as we left on the ferry "My Bonnie lies over the Ocean, by Bonnie lies over the sea, . . . ."

The hotel was the one the TV newscasters stayed in. Just them and us in the hotel. We were even interviewed by one of the early morning news shows. They needed stories!

When we arrived at the Hilton, all the pool chairs were in the bottom of the pool. That is where they are stored during hurricanes. Pretty creative I think. We also received a letter from the management about the ability of the hotel to hold up during the hurricane. I do remember water pouring through the window seals during the worst part of the hurricane, and we stood just outside during the worst part leaning into the wind and being held upright by the force of the wind.

We did not let something like a hurricane interrupt our reunion. We carried on playing and eating and enjoying the combining of the two families.

I always remember Bonnie when I hear about a hurricane coming, but even more so this weekend as Irene bears down on us.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

You can kinda go home again

2011-08-18T14:46:00.002-04:00

Last night some of my siblings gathered at Long Point on Lake Champlain with some distant cousins for a reunion. It was wonderful to reconnect and a walk down memory lane and a chance to meet their families.

From 1964-1976, our family spent summers on a 4 acre island off North Ferrisburg VT, Gardiners Island. The first summer we travelled from CO for the summer and the next summer we moved to VT permanently.

On Long Point there were three siblings, the distant cousins, who all had a "camp" on Long Point. These were the Ross, Patterson and Brooks families. Last night we gathered as many as could come, at one of the camps. I had not seen some of them for 35-40 years.

At first, we guessed who was who and which sibling was close in age to one of ours. I was called by my sister's name and thought one cousin was much younger than he was. We got oriented though, plunged into the lake for a pre-dinner swim, grilled our food, shared our dessert and jointly cleaned up the small kitchen. It was great.

As the sun set, we looked out at The Island and the view could have been 40 years ago. The same boat fishing, the same boat anchored, the same plunge into the wonderful lake water and shrieks of kids as they hit the water and the gorgeous Adirondack sunset.

Little has changed and lots has changed. As I climbed the curvy stairs of dark wood, it was 1964 again, in that the camp has not changed much. We have all had 40 years of Life to catch up on, of joys and sorrows. Parents and siblings have died and lots of children and spouses have been added.

If we still owned The Island, we would have stayed caught up. We all vowed at the end of the evening to get together more, and one cousin, who thirsts for family called me Sis at the end of the evening.

I am confident we will see them more. George, my brother, and Linda, one of the cousins have both moved to VT recently to be closer to family. Their desire and energy will reconnect us all, and even though we don't own The Island any more, we still are brought together by memories made years ago on Long Point.

I did go home again last night.

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When Offering Help be specific

2011-08-16T16:37:00.000-04:00

I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I hear about news from people in our community who are experiencing difficulty in their lives. I often want to reach out to them but don't know what to say or what to offer. This topic of asking for help, offering help and receiving help is an interesting one. In my conversations with people, some of us have trouble asking for help, while others have no problem at all with this.

I for one have trouble receiving help. When someone offers help it often ends with me saying out loud or to myself "I can do that myself". I think my daughter has inherited this from me. The best example is that we only were able to show her once how to tie her shoes. It might take her 30 minutes but she was going to tie them herself after that one demonstration. We waited patiently or impatiently while she tied them, and she still is like that most of the time. She is quite an independent adult.

Lately, when I offer help, rather than a generic "What do you need?", I try to guess what might be helpful. Do you need me to get something for you? Do you need me to watch your kid? Do you want a copy of the daily newspaper? etc. They can always say" NO, I need you to do this", but it opens the conversation and allows them to think about what might be helpful.

I am trying to get better at receiving help from others, and asking for help when I need it. I guess if I did NOT see it as a weakness or ineptitude it might be easier to ask for and receive help. It is so easy for me to offer and so difficult to receive. I am working on it, and in the meantime I try to be as specific as possible when I offer help to others.

Sally the Curmudgeon with respect to kids

2011-08-09T20:37:00.002-04:00

For those who know me well, this may come as a surprise, but lately kids have really gotten on my nerves, and as I examine what is going on, it is really the caretakers that are the culprit. I don't mean infants. I will still hold any infant, any time of the day which in fact at Star Island this year I did, when the hovering grandmothers were looking the other way.

Two incidents have caused me to reflect on my attitude of being a curmudgeon. The first one was at our health club, where a teen class was occurring. The weights are set up in a circuit, and the intent is to start at one machine and follow the direction of the circuit so that you can flow through your use of the machines. The posted instructions even say that, "Start with the leg extension machine and end with the shoulder press". The instructor for this class was not following this rule and was in fact instructing her class participants to jump around. The way the class was working, I only had three machines left and it would have been 10 minutes before they were done with those three, since all three were rotating between those three and not continuing on the circuit. . . .
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OK Sally, Too many details, hard to follow here, so the bottom line is the instructor was not teaching them to be good citizens and follow the posted rules. When I pointed this out to her she was pretty miffed, and the teens were embarrassed. Embarrassing them was not my intent, I just wanted to finish my circuit, and I would have loved for the instructor to be teaching them etiquette as well as machine use.

The second incident occurred last week on the bike path. There was an introductory roller blade class, and they were strung out across the entire path. I knew they were beginners and I also knew when I said "On your left", that half would go left and half would go right. It was a good thing I was prepared for their movements. One of those fast bike racers would have flattened one of them. I stopped to say "You guys were taking up the entire path!" to which the teacher said "Oh, that is OK you guys." NO IT IS NOT OK. You should be teaching them bike path etiquette as well as roller blading.

I think we have swung too far away from "Children are to be seen and not heard." To "Children run the world!" I don't want to go back to "seen and not heard" but I would love them to be taught some etiquette.

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Carhenge, why not a Treadmillhenge?

2011-08-08T09:59:00.000-04:00

OK, this is a bit silly but when we were in Alliance NE for my Uncle Chuck's memorial service, we took a 2.2 mile detour to see Carhenge. Honestly, this is a major attraction and people drive from all over the Midwest to see it. Murg was a bit miffed that we went there instead of the western wear store, and some in our car needed caffeine, and there are not many decent lattes in Alliance, BUT they do have Carhenge.

Driving with C and M and Murg yesterday, we saw a treadmill by the side of the road, and there also happens to be one on the back porch of Coniston. All of us laughed that maybe we should have Treadmillhenge in South Hero. Would it get by the zoning board do you think? The sign of a real Vermonter is a dead car on the property, but what about treadmills?

Nobody is Going to Tell me What to Do

2011-08-04T22:02:00.000-04:00

I am once again amazed at how we are hard wired, and how our personalities are pretty consistent throughout our lives. I found this card while looking through a box of old memories. It was sent to me by a good friend of my grand parents, probably when I was 13-14. It is true that as a child I had a strong personality and I guess that has not changed.

Even funnier is what she wrote inside the card.

For those who cannot read her hand writing it says:

"Dear Sally: Found this today and it reminded me of you and the fun we had last night so I thought I'd send it along and you could stick it in your mirror and think of me. A deaconess who worked with me in the Chapel at Episcopal Eye Ear and Throat Hospital and the Wash. Hospital, once sent it to me years ago, so don't get stuck up and think you are the only stubborn gal. Lots of love Ruth Dunlop"

Yes, I chuckled when I found this card and it now is pinned proudly beside the other card I have blogged about in a blog here. So I am stubborn and an optimist, and stubbornly optimistic. There are worse traits I could have.

Ducks in a Row

2011-08-03T08:22:00.002-04:00

A few years ago, I simplified my rubber duckies in the bathroom and just left 4 small ones on the window sill in the bathroom. They have been there since. With my children grown at the time, they no longer played with them in the bath. Truth be told they had not played with them for decades but one can hold onto memories for a while. I could not get rid of all of them so kept these 4, well contained on the sill.

My friend, K was visiting and sheepishly came out of the bathroom and said "I don't mean to be cheeky, but you have all your ducks in a row." She probably did not say cheeky, but I heard cheeky.

For the rest of the day, during our conversations we used this expression with each other about our lives. In fact, at this point in time we both have our ducks in a row.

When you are raising kids, working full time, attending school and holding a household together it can feel like the ducks are scattered all across the ponds.

I miss the days of bath time with children in the bath tub with the rubber duckies. These remind me of that time, and they remind me of how wise K is. I will get more when the grandchildren come along.

I count my blessings that, yes "My ducks are in a row!"

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Day 4 and 5 Painting the outside of the Infirmary

2011-07-25T07:12:00.002-04:00

When I talked to the volunteer coordinator at the beginning of the week, about what my possible jobs might be, she mentioned painting. That would be fun, I thought. Why is it more fun to do things other places than your own house? Painting at home would be a chore, but painting a beloved building at Star would be fun.

In the first few meals during my volunteer work, I started eating with four other volunteers, Jeanie and Mike, their son Sam and his best friend Ben. Jeanie and Sam ended up on the paint crew. There was a very well intended older volunteer who taught us the "right" way to paint with many, many, many details. Often these details were too much too soon in the process. He also is an extreme perfectionist, and was much too thorough in the job. We ended up taking screen mesh out of the screens, and this was not part of the job. The Pel supervisor intervened during the next shift but not before the damage had been done.

A also talked non stop which gave me an insight as to how others might perceive me. A non stop talker that is, not giving too much details!

Jeanie and I hit it off wonderfully at our first paint shift and we continued to connect for the rest of the week about Star, quilting, parenting etc.

As an aside, for one evening and two afternoons, I ran Myers Briggs workshops for the Pels. Jeanie and her son Sam came to the second one, and her daughter, Sunny, who is a Pel came to one as well. We continued to talk and laugh about Myers Briggs for the rest of the week.

Jeanie took a picture of me painting the infirmary. Every time I return to Star I will walk by that wall and see the smooth strokes of my paint brush.

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Day 2 and 3 - Overcoming Fears

2011-07-21T08:58:00.002-04:00

Days 2 and 3 of my volunteer week were interesting to say the least. The Pels have a volunteer coordinator who collects tasks from the various crews.

My first task was to wash the windows along the front of the hotel, the big wooden hotel, whose windows face the pier. They are exposed to the salt air 24/7. As all of their jobs, the Pels have engineered the window washing to be efficient and fun. They also consider resources when they do a job. Rather than using Windex, which apparently does not work with the sea air, they use a couple of squirts of soap and a squeegee. After a few windows a very helpful Pel brought me some sheets of newspaper. This is used to wipe off any of the streaks. Brilliant!! Don't tell Rod that I now do windows though.

While washing the windows, often on a step ladder, I became acquainted with thousands of spiders. BIG GIANT spiders. The first few I backed away from but after a while they became my friend. Except for the poisonous ones, they are pretty harmless, and they do survive by trapping other insects. A Pel went to great extremes to get a spider out of the hotel onto the porch without killing it. This was when I realized I had overcome one fear, or at least lessened it.

My fear of heights also presented itself as I climbed the step ladder to wash the top windows. Again, with each subsequent climb, the knot in my stomach subsided and I was climbing the ladder like a champ.

Day 3 I cleaned all of the glass mantles in the chandeliers in the lobby of the hotel. I had a taller ladder this time, but since I was almost over the fear of heights, it was no problem at all.

I have two fears left, mice and snakes. Mice I think I can overcome, but honestly, snakes are never going to get crossed off the list of fears.
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Day 1 - Volunteering on Star - Chamber

2011-07-21T08:55:00.002-04:00

Usually after a week, on Star Island, I have to leave. Saturday morning comes and with tears in my eyes I crawl onto the Thomas Leighton and depart. This year however, since our Star Island Corporation Board retreat will be only 5 days from the end of our conference, I decided to stay and volunteer on the Island for the 5 days in between our conference and the start of the retreat.

Change over day is the busiest day of the week for the Pelicans / aka Pels (the college age youth who work on the Island). I have new appreciation for how hard they work during this day and the extent they go to, ensuring that the Island is ready for the next boat of 260 conferees.

I was assigned to the third floor of Oceanic along with 3 others. From 8:30 am until 3:30 pm, we worked on this one floor. Every bureau and every bed side table made of wood was cleaned with Murphy's Soap, including the inside of the drawers. Beds were made with proper hospital corners (Thanks Mom for teaching me how to make those). The Chamber Pel described how to place the towels, the soap dish, the trash cans and the extra blanket. All are placed consistently in the rooms, to project the image of simplicity and cleanliness.

We took three breaks, where the supervisor checked in with all of us and how we were doing. We did jumping jacks and screamed as loud as we could at the end of our quick meetings.

We were just one very small cog in the wheel of change over, and as I said I have new appreciation for how hard our young adults work to welcome us to our/their Island.

I was exhausted at the end of the day, and since this was not my conference I went to bed early and slept like a log. I have sore muscles from my day on chamber change over that I have not felt for years.

I looked with a new eye at my room when I checked in and inspected the hospital corner and placement of the soap dish.

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4th of July past and present

2011-07-04T08:00:00.002-04:00

My concrete memories of the 4th started in VT when I was 10, and we "drove east" to spend the summer on Gardiner Island on Lake Champlain. We moved permanently to VT the next summer. Obviously there were celebrations in Colorado and a picture taken of snow on July 4th in Yampa Colorado, where our ranch was at 8000 feet in the Rockies, but the solid ones were after 10 years of age.

We owned the Island with my Dad's parents and his sister's family and we owned it for about 12 years. Many summer memories were made there.

Daddy LOVED fireworks! We once asked him what his favorite holiday was and he said, "July 4th!"

"More than Thanksgiving?"

"Yup!"

"More than Christmas?"

"Yup!"

"More than your birthday, or father's day?"

"Yup, yup!"

The week before the 4th, Daddy would drive the station wagon over to Jaffrey NH, from the Island, and pick up his order of fireworks. One of us would accompany him. As a kid, I remember the entire back of the car being filled with fireworks. We loaded up the Katy Budgy, our wooden boat that was our transportation to the Island, and moved the stash of fireworks, to the flag pole near the outside grill on the Island. I think they were covered with a tarp until dusk on the 4th.

As dusk was approaching the "army" or in our naval family, the "navy" of kids were put to work. I remember one year my job was to stamp out the embers with a broom, while watching the explosions overhead.

Boats on the Lake started to hear about the Gardiner Island fireworks, and many would come and anchor, and watch them, tooting their horns at the end. Friends and acquaintances from the mainland would write thank you letters for the firework display. My grandfather was an Admiral in the navy, so many letters started with, "Dear Admiral Russell". Daddy did not seem to care that his Dad got the credit. He just loved fireworks, and loved setting them off for others to enjoy.

As I stood with my family watching the fireworks tonight a tear crept into my eye for Daddy. He would have loved the fireworks, and our family games, and the round of golf, and the grilled hamburgers and hot dogs. July 4th is one of my favorite holidays too. It is about summer, and family and food, and games and the wonderment of a fireworks display.

A few of us tonight said as we stood and watched, "it does not get much better than this". It doesn't!

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My thumb injuries and firing my Primary Care Doctor

2011-07-01T07:53:00.001-04:00

Wow, how did I forget to let the world know via this blog and FB about my thumb injuries? It could be that this past 2 months have been a flurry of activity. It could be that medical sharing might sound like complaining and who cares anyway?

Two caring individuals (you know who you are) noticed by thumb brace in recently posted FB pictures and asked about the thumb. Multiple people at GA asked me about it. Here is the update.

In early May, I went to my primary care for painful thumb and tingling in my left leg.

HOLD ON, I must go on this tangent! She made me wait for 60 minutes. I read 30 magazines in that time, and no one came in to update me. I was fuming by the time she came in the observation room and yes I did address it with her because she ALWAYS makes me wait at least 30 minutes. I am in the process of firing her for someone who values my time, and at the very least has someone give me updates about the wait time. I understand in our health care situation that PCPs are overworked and only have 15 minutes to try to listen to their patients. However, I am also firing her because she does not listen to me. I told her I had two things to talk to her about. Gave her the headlines, 1) sore thumb and 2) tingly feeling in my leg. She failed to talk to me about the tingling in my leg and honestly, I think this is the more worrisome problem. I am seeing a neurologist on Tuesday about that. I had to say "what about the leg?" as she rose to exit. Obviously the fact that I stood up for myself got her a bit flustered, and her 15 minutes had ended, and she was an hour late already.

I digress! Her diagnosis is that I have arthritis in two of my thumb joints and I have an inflamed tendon which sounds worse by it's official name, De Quervain's tenosynovitis. I left with 4 pages of exercises, and a prescription for PT, after she threatened to go straight to a cortisone shot. Without trying something else first? My exact words were "We don't do shots without trying other things first!". BTW, I was using the Royal We in case that was not obvious.

She was not going to give me the PT prescription, but I asked if I could have it, just in case the exercises did not work. She had already said "These probably won't work". Reasonable request for the PT prescription, and not have to come back to the office?

This post did not start out as a rant, but has become that. Thanks to all who have asked about the thumb, including perfect strangers at GA and to the two caring individuals on FB who noticed. Updates to follow.

Anybody want to help me solve world hunger, right after we improve the medical situation in this country?

Don't go to the noise, let it come to you

2011-06-25T07:53:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, during a yoga class, there was a screaming baby just outside for the entire 90 minutes. I complained to the YMCA, and they made efforts to resolve the issue.

When I talked to my teacher about it, she explained an attitude and technique that is wonderful, and that I have used several times since.

Briefly it is, rather than "going" to the noise, let it come to you, and then figure out what to do with it. When there are noises during yoga now, I have tried this and it really works. I don't want to go out and tell them to be quiet anymore, I just move on.

This is a big one! When Murg/Rod snores now, I imagine that the sounds are like a wave flowing over me, and I fall asleep rather than get irritated. Ask him! I have not poked him to stop snoring in 3 weeks.

Yesterday during our business meeting of the Unitarian Universalist Association, a group of church members put up flags so their members could find the seats and so they could all sit together. The flags were in my direct line of sight to the stage. Should I move? Should I ask them to lower them? Instead they became a frame for me to look through, and assuming positive intent, I was no longer irritated with these perfect strangers.

I obviously won't catch myself and reframe my attitude every time, but so far this is working for me. Don't go to the noise, let it come to you!

New quote of the day - "Sure of you"

2011-06-24T07:02:00.002-04:00

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

The above quote is the basis for the sermon that was delivered at our final service this past Sunday. The quote and the resulting sermon were both brilliant. It will now become my quote of the day moving my current quote to the archived quote of the day.

For many of us in the congregation, the quote and the sermon were perfect, since this week we lost two members of our congregation.

One young woman was in the very first junior high youth group that Rod and I led in 1995. We found a picture of that very first youth group. With them we started a tradition of taking two pictures. A smiling one for their parents, and a second one of them making a funny face. Her face in the second one making a "wonderful" face, when I first saw it this week, was a stark realization of how precious life is. She was just shy of 29 when she died.

The second death was a member of of our covenant group. He exited the subway on 911, just in time to see the second tower fall, and walked back injured to his house in Brooklyn. He has struggled for the last year with sarcoidosis and has been in a hospital or nursing home for over a year. He actually became quite an advocate for sarcoidosis rights which was caused by living in NYC during 911, and the following months. The covenant group process really allows you to get to know someone in a very deep way. I knew Drew as a member of our group and will miss his empty chair at our next meetings. Even though he could not be at our meetings for the last year, we were "sure of you". We knew he was thinking of us during our meetings. We started a practice recently of imagining what missing members are doing during our meetings as a way of honoring them during our meetings.

With the recent loss of Uncle Chuck, and now these two losses, I am sure that my congregation is there for me and me for them. I am sure that my mother, siblings, aunt, cousins, children, nieces, and nephews are there for me. I always say that I was not sure why I joined First Parish until Daddy died, shortly after we joined. Knowing me almost not at all, the congregation enveloped me and gave me support on the worst day of my life so far. They held me in ways I did not know how to ask for.

Now I will say, when I really need to know someone is there, "I just wanted to be sure of you".

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Darn, another reason to get my head out of the clouds

2011-06-21T14:25:00.003-04:00

Two days last week I had a flat tire on two sequential bike rides. I don't ever remember having a flat while I was riding a bike. I have had a flat when I was getting it ready for a ride, but not while riding.

The technician discovered glass shards embedded in the treads of the tire, hence the two flats. BTW, Bikeway Source in Bedford MA has excellent customer service. Both times they fixed it on the spot, and tightened my front tire as well. They also showed me how to put the tire on correctly, so it was tight enough, avoiding another potential accident (previous post on my bike accidents to date). And most importantly, they did not make me feel stupid.

On my first ride after the bike was fixed, I kept my eyes totally on the path in front of me to spot more shards of glass. Where did I pick them up? Are the other just waiting to jump into my tires? You might say for that I rode very tentatively, and in fact did not go near the area where I might have picked up the glass.
Also recently I have tripped and fallen several times, as have relatives of mine. The sympathy I get from loved ones is "Slow down", "Look down", "Watch for pennies on the ground", etc. I actually found four coins the first day I tried that technique and just missed a twenty dollar bill on the bike path yesterday. Someone else beat me to it by seconds.

I should look where I am going, but I am always dreaming, always talking, and my head is always in the clouds. If I want to avoid glass on the tires, and if I want to not trip, I need to be looking down more. I am not a cautious person, but the older I get and the more falls I have, the more I am learning to be cautious, and look for those coins and bills as a technique and reward. This does not mean I will have no accidents, falls or flat tires. Just less hopefully. Look up occasionally to see be on our wonderful bikepath.

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Story of the Cowboy Hat

2011-06-15T07:58:00.002-04:00

2 years ago in April we traveled to Mesquite Nevada for a mini reunion with our Colorado cousins. This was just before Murg/Rod was sworn is as an American citizen. During that visit my youngest cousin, Hank, and Rod talked a lot about Rod's impressions of Cowboys. In 1988 at Mike and Peg's wedding in Colorado Springs, the cousins wore their WORK Cowboy boots and hats, and their DRESS cowboy boots and hats for the wedding. At this point Rod realized I was not fibbing when I talked about my Colorado Cowboy cousins.

Truth be known, some of my cousins revealed this weekend in Alliance NE (where we were for my Uncle Chuck's memorial service) that they don't wear cowboy boots any more unless they are on a horse. They are too old, the boots are too uncomfortable and you can't walk in them. Their children still wear boots and hats though, and these two Cowboys Mike and Brian Redmond, had their boots and hats on all weekend. Mike still works on the Lazy EH ranch in Yampa CO, where I lived until I was 11.

After our visit two years ago, Hank thought that Rod as an American citizen should have a Cowboy hat, but he did not know his hat size. He told me this as soon as we saw each other for the weekend. "Easy, I said. Give me your hat, and I will pretend to take a picture of him in it!". Which I did. It fit perfectly.

Our last evening Hank made a short wonderful speech to the gathered family and friends and said "From my head to yours!" and switched his hat to Rod's head. HE GAVE ROD HIS COWBOY HAT! That is such an incredible gift and gesture.

Rod wanted to sleep in his hat that night, and is learning the cowboy hat etiquette, and how to swing his hips to walk like a cowboy. He proudly wore it through the Denver airport. Don't you think he looks pretty cowboylike?

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Champagne Jellies were my birthday present

2011-06-09T09:02:00.002-04:00

I have the best husband in the world. He always gives me thoughtful and appropriate presents. Yesterday he gave me a 31.75 oz box of Bassett's Winegums as my primary present and it was perfect. You Brits will know what they are and of course there is a story behind this.

While visiting London last month we spent glorious time with A and J. M was too busy working so we did not see her. It was j's birthday the next day and while in a shop he commented while pointing to a bag of sweets, "These are my favourites (yes, we are in England for this story so this is correctly spelled) and I can only get them in the states at a shop near Davis Square!"

I thought a bag of these would be a great present for his birthday the next day. Remember that I am challenged by details, so Murg and I were looking for sweets that I described as "champagne" and "jellies"! Every shop we were in, I looked form the bag as did Murg. Finally at the end of the day I held up a bag of Wine gums, and said "Here they are!". Ok, my logic, champagne is close to wine, and we call them jellies in the states, not gums, so this made perfect sense to me.

If I had only one detail wrong, Murg would have understood, because he has learned to do that translation when I say the wrong word. Horizontal instead of vertical. Koala instead of Panda, etc. The fact that I was wrong on both words really confused him.

Going forward in our house J's favorite candies are know as Champagne Jellies. I like the sound of this name better.
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Empty Nesting

2011-06-08T08:50:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was the day that reality struck! It was not the day that Bethany moved out since she moved out the day before and that was happy and sad at the same time. No yesterday, Shakes the wonder cat moved to his new flat. He thought he was going on the 3.5 hour trip to Coniston, which is the usual trip in the car we take with him. He settled in on Bee's lap and was cleaning his paws when we pulled up on the street outside her new apartment. Head popped up, incessant meowing as we climbed the two flights, but I digress. ........

I think we have been partial empty nesters a few times before, but this time is for real. She has her own flat, she found it herself, and we will have to call her up to schedule time to see her.

In the last week, I realized I want to see her regularly so I suggested she could still come do her laundry here. Of course I gave her a mixed signal when I asked her if she wanted a small container of laundry detergent.

It has been a while since someone moved out permanently from our house. Chris moved out during college some time. That move out was not so clearly defined as this one. He was in college living in his frat, and stayed there after graduating, since his job was in Burlington, Vt.

So yesterday when I got back to the house, I vacuumed the cat hairs up from the carpet, cleaned out the front closet, mopped the kitchen floor and kept myself pretty busy.

I will miss having them both around. As much as I say I don't like cats, Shakes is different. He is more like a dog in that he greets you when you come in the front door, and wants cuddles, some times.

Bethany has been a joy to have around the house, in the snippets of her busy life that we have shared over the last four years since she went to college. She has cooked us lots of meals, organized the cabinets and fridge, and in general been a wonderful young adult with us. I am going to miss those snippets, and seeing her most every day. So it will be important to have "laundry" visits, and for me to have "Shakes" visits so I get my fix.

Yes, Virginia, we are empty nesters. Why then are we both thinking of getting a dog? HMMMM?

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Made in China - I am being silly and I know it

2011-06-07T21:44:00.002-04:00

Ok, don't ask me what prompted this latest challenge. It could be our green sanctuary efforts at church. It could be that later this month, I am attending General Assembly in Charlotte NC, along with thousands of other Unitarian Universalists. It could be that I like a challenge, and maybe felt that I have not challenged myself enough lately. It could be that I was headed to Vermont, which has some great efforts at locally made and locally run businesses.

It started last Thursday when I went into Home Goods and tried to find something NOT "Made in China". It was nearly impossible. I went next door to TJ Maxx and had the same experience.

Just now I needed some home goods. Need is a strong word since I realized during the shopping excursion, I can live without them. I was looking for coasters for under the couch legs so I can move it easier to hoover under it, a round rubber disc to cover the drain in the sink so I can use the sink as my mop bucket, Aleve for my inflamed tendon in my thumb and trash bags. The only one I could buy at "Bed, Bath and Beyond" NOT Made in China, was Aleve. It was made in Germany by Bayer. Even the trash bags are Made in China. Almost all the kitchen and bath items are made by OXO.

I went next door to Trader Joes and they don't carry trash bags. The clerk said they carry them next door to which I replied "They are made in china though".

At Coniston this weekend, I tried to buy a can opener because our one Made in China, broke. The one I got for $1.19 did not work so I returned it. I finally got one at an antique store, Made in the USA.

It must have been gradual but I wonder when we stopped making things domestically as a country?

My beloved pointed out that I might not be able to stick with this challenge (ever the optimist, NOT), and his attitude is that we even out the economy by buying from China. I mostly object to using fossil fuels to ship all of these products from China, or to ship food across the country for that matter. I also am terrified about the economic situation between us and China. Fear based on media blips, and lack of knowledge mostly.
The challenge is doomed for failure, but I am going to try. The couch may not have the coasters, and I might find a rubber disc at a yard sale that was made in the USA. Market Basket has trash bags made in the USA so they got my business tonight on my shopping excursion.

Try this challenge yourself, and let me know the results!

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35 years later - a reunion

2011-06-05T18:32:00.001-04:00

We spent this weekend at my 35th reunion at Middlebury College. We tend to hang out with some of the same folks that I hung out with during college AND I always have a nice conversation with someone that I never talked to in my 4 years there.

Bill McKibben spoke Saturday afternoon and helped charge me up even more than I already am about politicians and environmental issues. Chris Waddell spoke about climbing Kilimanjaro as a paraplegic.

The biggest change on campus are the new buildings and the repurposing of old buildings. It is a beautiful campus and it was a beautiful one when I went there.

Why do we go to reunions? Why don't others come?

Every 5 years, I leave wanting to see people who did not come and have never come back. This year, as in past, I have intentions to host a mini-reunion to get them to come to a smaller gathering, in case that is what is keeping them away. I don't need everyone to come back but I would love to see the ones that were part of our "clan".

Why is this year different? Maybe because of my retirement, I will have time to organize a mini-reunion. We will see. Check back with me in 5 years.

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Flyover of the UK - Mission Accomplished

2011-05-26T07:03:00.000-04:00

We got back last night and the main goals of our trip were accomplished. We saw new friends and old. We met 2 great nieces for the first time AND we did a lot of interviewing live relatives about those who have died.

Our first two days were spent with Andy and Jake in their flat in Islington. Unfortunately Miriam is working way too hard in all part of Europe so we missed seeing her. We toured St Paul's with Andy and the three of us walked to the top for spectatular views. Blog post to follow!

We spent a night with Rod's good friends Anne and Dave, who we have not seen for 14 years. Where does the time go? We had never met their youngest Laura, who just turned 17, and we reacquainted ourselves with Katie and their dog Kiera.

Then a wonderful trip to the North to meet Olive and Winter, and we took the obligatory trip to the beach in South Shields, where the wind was strong, the water was cold, and we dipped our feet into it.

And we photographed grave stones and houses where family lived, only getting shouted at by one current occupant, who calmed down when we told her Rod's Aunt and Uncle lived there 27 years ago.

We went to the British Museum while in London, and Saltwell Park in Gateshead, where the family spent many Sunday afternoons.

Obviously this is a picture blog post, and a picture is worth a thousand words, so this is a really long post.

More to follow.

Jet lag and Melatonin

2011-05-18T23:29:00.002-04:00

I don't get it. I am wide awake in London at 4am, UK time, and 11pm East coast time. I took a Melatonin on the plane last night and slept for a couple of hours on the plane, napped for two hours, got up to sight see, ate dinner at 9pm and off to bed at 11pm, all UK times. I probably should have taken another Melatonin last night as well. Is there a residual effect from Melatonin? So it is still working on my body?

My body SHOULD be wanting to sleep, right? But my mind is racing. I followed updates from Fenway, and cruised Facebook, and tried to get my twitter feeds updated. Sox won, so I just tried to fall asleep. It probably is unwise to go for a walk at 4am in an unfamiliar neighborhood in London although the street is lined with coffee shops so give me 2 hours more of this and you know where I will be, right?

One of my thought tangents during these wee UK hours, has been about jet lag and the times when I have been really tired and jet lagged. Traveling to Chiangmai to visit Bee last year was the worst for sure. Luckily she put her arms around us and guided us through those unfamiliar streets. London in 1979 to visit Dau with Mom and the three "little" boys was pretty bad. Norway in college, London after college with Nancy and Pam, etc.

My red eyes back from the West coast while at Intuit were not debilitating. I always said to people who questioned my sanity on this last one, "I would rather be tired for one night at home, than sit in a hotel room for one additional night, wishing I were on the red eye".

I am not anxious about this, since I sort of understand the language although it is British English. I know where we are headed today, and have my Oyster card to get around on the tube and buses. I am just curious about why me, why 4:15 am? And I am really curious about whether Melatonin works or not?

BTW my ever so supportive husband just said to me in his sleepy daze "You are supposed to be trying to get on the new schedule!". This coming from someone who took the French language brochure at St. Paul's Cathedral yesterday in his jet lagged state. The attendant handing us the tour listening device asked him which language and when Murg said, English, the guide said "You have the French brochure!". I guess they are used to jet lagged tourists. We go back there this morning to finish our tour.

(Murg=Rod)-topic of another post

now for a few more hours of sleep. . .
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Location:London, uk

Bee's Buzz around the World

2011-05-15T09:14:00.002-04:00

Bee's graduation from Long Island University/Global College(LIU) was this past Thursday. It was a glorious sunny day. The morning ceremony was the pomp and circumstance portion of the day. In the afternoon all 20 students from Global College presented aspects of their senior thesis, to their friends and family. It is amazing what these 20 young people have done already in their short lives.

For her graduation I made the quilt in this photo. It is titled "Bee's Buzz Around the World". The color of the background represents the saffron color of the monks' robes. The peace flags are the 5 countries she studied in. The picture is of her at a meditation retreat with Burma in the background. The world picture has the logos from the two colleges that she attended, appliquéd on the picture of the world. The pewter bees are from Danforth pewter, a Vermont company. The elephant is a print from a linoleum block that Bee made in girl scouts in 5th grade. Elephants have been a theme in her life forever. I recently learned how to make a block print, and on the back of the quilt are two blackbirds. Blackbirds are the mascot of LIU.

It was a cathartic exercise to design her wallhanging in the weeks before her graduation. The time flew by and she packed a lot into 4 years. She made some lifelong friends at both Hampshire and Global College. She grew academically and personally. She learned to be more flexible, and she confirmed what it is she will contribute to the world. She buzzed the world, and spent the last five months in Brooklyn finishing her BA, while learning to navigate the NYC area.

Her internship was at a Friends agency in Newark, which focuses on immigrants' rights.

Stay tuned as she lives out her values in whatever she chooses to do. I am one proud mama.
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Lake Champlain flooding - and our afternoon checking it out

2011-05-07T20:43:00.002-04:00

Murg and I just drove around the Champlain Islands looking at the impact of the worst flooding of Lake Champlain ever. Last night at 9:30 pm, when we drove across the route 2 causeway, it was one lane and we drove through up to 8 inches of water at some points. In the middle I said "I wish you were driving" to which he said "me too" and I got mad at him, but not really.

We rode our bikes down there today in the day light and took some pictures which will be posted in the future. Later we decided to go out again to buy a dessert wine at Snow Farm (yummy) and to visit the Green Frog for the first time this season. We were both in a wandering kind of mood, which drives Bee crazy, but suits the two of us fine. We then drove to the Grand Isle Ferry to see what damage had been done there, continued to Hero's Welcome in North Hero, which had just closed for the day. We continued to Alburgh, and bought ourselves a treat and caffeine to keep us awake. On to Rouse's Point, and then south to where the main street in Plattsburgh is closed because of flooding. We stopped at Gus's for a Michigan Red Hot, and then home via the Plattsburgh to Grand Isle Ferry. Mind you, our initial trip was for wine, and gift shop shopping.

This is why we are happily married. We both love to go with the flow, a tiny bit of planning and open to different suggestions along the way.

We laughed earlier in the day about our different learning styles and how different we are in general. This always precedes the conversation where we marvel once again that we found each other 26 years ago this week!

The flooding is horrific. Some summer camps are totally flooded, and some primary residences are totally flooded. Coniston looks out on more lake water and there is more water in the lawn out front, but we are lucky. At one point today I flashed back to winter blizzards where I long to be snowed in. I would not mind being flooded in here for a short period of time. I love to be nestled in with no place to go.

It is the calm before the storm you might say, as we look forward to Brooklyn and Bee's college graduation, England to see family, friends and meet two great nieces, 35th college reunion at Middlebury and then Alliance Nebraska for memorial service for Uncle Chuck. This is all in the next month. Why is May/June always so crazy?
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Children's librarians should like children

2011-05-04T17:10:00.003-04:00

Rant alert!

Today I went to the library to see Ed Emberley. Who remembers him? I asked his wife when his first book was published. 1961!

While there I witnessed an interaction that makes me sad. The event was for 1-5 grade and one mother had two older children and a 3 year old.

The Children's librarian almost did not let the family in. The three year old tolerated 30 minutes of the hour program. At this point she started getting fidgety, but was making no more noise than other kids, or to be honest, some parents talking.

At this point the Librarian came over and in a loud, not library voice, said "You must take her out now!". I was embarrassed for the mother and child.

I wonder if the mother had been a privileged Caucasian McMansion (yes I am using that as an adjective) mother, whether the Librarian would have confronted the mother.

Some of my good friends are librarians, and they are excluded from this comment. In my experience librarians are rule followers, and many of them appear to not like their job. They appear cranky and angry.

This librarian today was just looking for the 3 year old to be a 3 year old. Does she want this child to enjoy the library and have a positive experience? I think Children's librarians as a pre-requisite should understand and like children, and understand parents and multiple children families. And they should not intentionally embarrass children or parents. Ok, I often live in an ideal world.

Rant over!

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Birkenstock Time

2011-05-03T10:55:00.002-04:00

For most of the summer, I wear a variety of birkies. As soon as it gets warm enough out they come and I have a hard time wearing anything else. Concurrent to that my earrings that are miniature Birkenstocks also appear.

I actually jumped the gun last week, and put them on one morning. I had to go back and change into winter shoes, because it was below freezing later in that day.

You should know that every morning I stand in front of my earring rack and chose my earrings. During the summer, I almost always put on my mini birkies. In fact, I have three of them. I once told someone that these are my favorite earrings and will be heart broken if I ever lose one. She took off one of hers right then and there and gave it to me. I have never lost one of them although I came very close at one time, which was a previous post.

So, even if the weather gets a little cold, I don't care, it is Birkie Time!

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I Love Mayfair - Saturday May 7th

2011-05-02T16:44:00.003-04:00

For those of you unfamiliar with this term, Mayfair is our church sale which happens the Saturday before Mothers Day. Many of my Mothers Day gifts came from this sale and I treasure them.

There are books, white elephants, collectibles, baked goods, jewelry, etc.

R and I ran Mayfair our first year in the church and got to know many different groups in the church. It was a great thing to do in our first year because we had no idea how big the job was.

It is a big HUGE community building activity as people discover items that belonged to another church member. This is where you can buy your summer reading, or a gift for an upcoming holiday or birthday.

I love it for a bunch of reasons. I love watching all generations have a good time. I love to watch the stuff collect, and more importantly, watch it leave. I love to hang out and watch the church make money, and I love the joviality of the day.

We cannot be there Saturday, but I am helping out on Friday in White Elephants.

Happy Mayfair! It is not just about making money for the church, it is also about making community.

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Creativity Happens so I Let it

2011-04-27T12:03:00.002-04:00

I have been gradually cleaning up the sewing/guest/study room since I retired. Mostly I have tried to set it up so I can sew there and not take over the kitchen and living room with my projects. For about two weeks I have been sewing in there but yesterday I HAD to move out to move out to the kitchen table and island. I was at a point in the project where I was diverging and auditioning fabrics. I needed the space and the sun light. I threw fabrics out on the counter and for about an hour lay one next to another. I finally narrowed down the fabrics and put the others away. There are times when I cannot be confined to my small sewing room and it would definitely squelch my creativity.

I am back in the sewing room now but I just needed that time and space to create. I also leave projects out on the same kitchen counter when they are nearly done, to see if I like them. I casually glance at them and rearrange, or I get comfortable with how they look and then complete the project. I need the space to leave them out to finish the creation, and it needs to be a space that I pass frequently.

I think my sewing room is too dark and too contained. I dream of my ideal living room which would have a corner where I could leave things out and not clutter the shared living space. My creativity corner.

BTW what I leave out is not clutter but creativity.

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Since you asked- my retirement so far

2011-04-20T18:04:00.002-04:00

Many people have asked me "How is retirement?" and I to their question i ask "What is not to like about this?"

I reflected on my walk today about how it is going. I have re-joined the YMCA and am going to yoga at least three times a week. Every other day I lift weights and every day I do some cardio, so I am taking care of myself in the exercise arena.

I have a few regular groups that I attend, knitting, quilting, beading and a women's group so I am taking care of myself in the social arena.

I have read at least 15 books which is a huge increase. I often walk to the library to read the daily newspaper.

I am over halfway scanning our 80 boxes of 35MM slides and syncing them to my iPad.

We only eat out once a month so I am cooking lots of healthy food, and not so healthy food, but good anyway, e.g. Cornmeal biscotti.

My sewing machine has been very active, and my sewing room has about 5 current projects laid out.

I have some great trips planned, Brooklyn this weekend to spend Easter with Bee, England to meet two great nieces in May, Nebraska in June for Uncle Chuck's memorial service, General Assembly in Charlotte in June and two weeks on Star in July. Most of these I might have done anyway, but it feels like I can do them since I am retired.

Mostly, I am more relaxed, am taking better care of myself, and I am really happy. I am just a wee bit anxious about not making money.

There are down sides. I miss the people at Intuit. I miss the company and the people there. That is about it.

I am re-inventing myself and what my answer is to "What do you do?"

I am getting trained to be a tutor for WATCH in Waltham and am narrowing down other places to put my energy.

How would I be able to work with all these trips and all these groups?

Life is very Good to me!

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You can do anything you want - for me the wheel

2011-04-16T10:33:00.002-04:00

Fortunately both of my parent gave me this message. "Sally, you can do anything you want".

I actually believed that I could beat my brothers at tennis, until they grew to a height where their serves were too powerful.

Yesterday in yoga, I was trying to do the wheel. The instructor helped me and I could not do it, yesterday that is. At that moment in time I realized that eventually, I will be able to do it. Two years ago I could not do, shoulder stand, or dancer or crow. Today I can do all of those. This realization was different though. I actually believe I can do it eventually rather than just saying it but not really believing it.

I should have prefaced this with, things I want to do. I don't really want to be a lawyer or rocket scientist, but if I did want to I believe I could.

Think about the messages that we send ourselves. If we say, privately to ourselves that we cannot, then we don't have a chance.

I will do the wheel regularly some day!
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Patriots Day in Lexington

2011-04-15T07:55:00.002-04:00

This is my favorite time of year in Lexington as the Minutemen start appearing, and the town spruces itself up for the many visitors. However, it always reminds me why I am a pacifist.

Our church is perched just off the green where the battle takes place early Monday morning. Watching it always makes me sad though, to watch men (they mostly are) shoot each other at such short range. We have such strong opinions about events and our beliefs. The Redcoats marched through the night or early morning to hold on/protect what they thought was theirs and to enforce orders from their country. I think about our Civil War where brothers shot brothers, and then in Libya where that is still happening.

I could never serve in an armed force where I would have to use a gun against another individual. I cannot even watch this in a movie. How do they do it?

Will there ever be an end to Wars? Are our beliefs so strong that we can not sort them out without bearing arms?

Nevertheless I will be there Monday morning at 4:30 am to watch the re-enactment, and to party for the rest of the day with visitors and community members. This is our BIG day of the year.

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Make the trip Now and floods of happy memories

2011-04-12T10:37:00.000-04:00

We went two years ago to a mini reunion in Nevada to visit my deGanahl cousins. There was not a critical mass but after hearing that my Uncle Chuck died on Sunday I am so thankful we made that trip.

Daddy and Uncle Chuck with their wives, Mom and Auntie Pat bought the Lazy EH Ranch in 1954. In fact they closed on the ranch the day I was born, at least that was the story I was told. We grew up with the 5 deGanahl cousins on the ranch until 1965, when we moved away to Vermont and they continued to ranch it until it was sold a few years ago.

Daddy and Uncle Chuck learned how to ranch from other ranchers in Yampa, who called them the "kids". They worked and played together very well, and shared a lot of wonderful personality traits as well. Chuck's granddaughter said "generous" on her facebook yesterday about him. She is right on.

From my perspective, they were both quiet, gentle men, who knew what people needed and quietly put that in place to then watch others enjoy. They never wanted the credit, they just wanted to watch others enjoy. Two years ago, during our visit, Uncle Chuck heard me remark about the rosemary in front of their house, and the next day he had cut loads of rosemary and put a paper towel around it, in a plastic bag, for me to take home. Daddy every Christmas would go downstairs, light the tree and then let us run down to see the miracle of Santa Claus. He would be quietly sitting, grinning in the corner, sipping his coffee, as he watched our eyes light up, and observed us playing with the new toys. They were both quiet and thoughtful, and unassuming, and very very very bright.

I have been on a 35mm slide scanning binge, so as soon as I heard about Uncle Chuck, I started scanning the pictures from Mama's (Chuck and Mom's mother) 90th birthday celebration, which was the last happy large gathering. The next unhappy large gathering was when Daddy died in 1995. The picture of Daddy and Uncle Chuck from the 90th is out of focus, but the focus of the pixels is not what matters.
The deGanahl family for those years in Colorado, were our best friends. We lived 7 miles from Yampa, a town of 200 people, down a dirt road on a ranch at 8000 feet in the Rockies. I always say it is as close to heaven as you can get. We played and worked and grew up together.

Seeing some of the deGanahls cousins, two years ago was lovely. Unfortunately, the gathering for Uncle Chuck's service soon will be because of his loss, and there will be more of us present for that.

I for one, commit to seeing more of them more for happy occasions, in addition to the inevitable unhappy ones.

Thankfully I am married to a snorer

2011-04-09T04:51:00.002-04:00

Ok, most nights I would not relish being married to someone who snores. In fact if we were not at Coniston I might still be poking him to stop. Instead at 4:22 am, after being awake since 3:09 am, I decided to move out to the couch in the living room. Channel 1 and the stars and night sky is just incredible. It feels like I am a part of the sky.

I always love the sun rises here, in fact the first year we owned the house, I got up every morning I could to watch and sometimes photograph the sunrise. The picture on my blog is to remind myself about how beautiful sunrises and sunsets are.

So when I got up to come onto the couch my mind was a flurry of activity. I am in the middle of a few sewing projects that I brought up to Coniston this weekend and I just started a good book. Is it too early to start the day, with my normal cup of God's nectar, AKA java? As a retiree, I don't have to worry about being rested for work. Being tired with a rotary cutter is another story but I will be careful sewing.

I will try again to go to sleep on the couch, but if I cannot sleep, then it does not suck, to watch the stars fade and to see the sun rise over Mount Mansfield, or as my Mom helped us understand growing up (through her reading Buckminster Fuller), the Earth turns to reveal the sun, the sun does not rise. Another Mom memory!

The eternal optimist turns a snoring husband into a good thing. Will I remember this back in Lexington?

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Great idea for a major birthday

2011-04-05T22:26:00.001-04:00

My Mom turned 80 last Saturday. A sister-in-law's family celebrated her Mom's 80th the month before and did a really neat present. They also have a huge family so they collected 80 memories and put them in a jar for the Mom to take out one a day and read.

We recreated the idea with a few switches. Mom and Charlie are on a cruise, and since we did not plan ahead, we have to electronically get it to the ship. We did collect 80 and we did get it delivered to her on the boat by her birthday. We did not tell Mom to only read one a day. That would be really hard to do!

I don't know about you, but I don't really NEED anything. This idea to collect memories might be nice for other than major birthdays. What if yearly on a birthday we remembered that person by sharing a memory?

The interesting thing about my siblings was the different memories the older kids had from the younger kids. It is also interesting to see how we remembered the same thing differently. There were a few duplicate memories.

I would have liked to be with Mom on her special day but I was there with her by email and by having sent the memories along. I also had memories of Dad come up during the collection. I wish I had been able to send them to him while he was alive.

In the Unitarian Universalist tradition we have memorial services, and have a part of the service where stories are told about the deceased. I think it is a shame to wait until someone has died to tell the stories and relate memories. May there be a few more major birthdays, that we can send Mom more memories.

Finishing UFOs

2011-03-31T12:53:00.002-04:00

Occasionally, I have a burst of energy, and peruse my pile of UFOs (unfinished objects), or in the case of knitting, my bags of UFOs. This week, I discovered a stack of bags buried deep in my craft closet. Two projects, I did not know the needle size or what pattern I was using. Fortunately, Ravelry has all of my projects entered, so I had that the means to get this data.

It feels good to finish a boat load of projects, but last night this feeling came across my mind that I might not have enough projects in progress. This happens to me, the feeling that I need to have a few, or more than a few projects going at all times. When I travel I make sure to always bring more projects than I need. No surprise, I always pack my knitting first in my suitcase.

In this time period, I started a small knitting project, and finished it.

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I have no UFOs? I doubt it. This is like spring cleaning, or as close to spring cleaning as this house is apt to get!

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Creativity is a process

2011-03-27T15:48:00.002-04:00

At the Vermont Quilt Festival last year, I took a class which was much more design than quilting. Of all the classes I have taken this one has helped me the most.

I am making fabric collages lately, just 8.5 inches by 11 inches of fabric to design a journal quilt or fabric collage.

Since that class last year, I have been more comfortable with the process of design. Some of my collages may never be done. One in fact has been on my kitchen counter for a few weeks. I walk by and every time one part of not is not working. I kept trying to make it work but it never will. I had to replace one of the pictures and did not really want to do that. Finally today I found another picture that will work, printed it and overlaid the first picture. It works almost perfecting with some fabric fudging.

The lesson for me is to not settle until I am satisfied with the design and to listen to my design self. It may never be finished but don't settle for mediocrity. The teacher emphasized that in our class we may not leave with a product but the process of design is the important part. I am learning and by leaving it out and walking by it with a quick glance it let's me continually assess what I like and what I don't like.

This is probably crystal clear to artists but I am just now getting comfortable with the design process.

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The opposite of faith is certainty - Anne Lamott

2011-03-24T18:03:00.002-04:00

I saw this quote on my friend E's Facebook and it caused me to stop in my tracks. This is much more succinct than I have been trying to articulate recently.

Recently in our covenant group I have been trying to get members to be OK with uncertainty. Uncertainty of what another member means by what that person just said. Uncertainty that you understand their entire life history. Uncertain of what a reference means.

During covenant group, if we try to be certain of all of these, it stops the flow of the person speaking. It might inhibit someone from saying what they want to, if they are going to be questioned, or stopped, or queried.

A covenant group is not a normal back and forth conversation. It also is not like a thesis defense, where you have to back up with facts, what you say. One ground rule is that you cannot challenge what someone says. That is their truth at that point in time.

So this quote helps me quickly say all of this. It also helps me understand what faith means to me and why this ground rule is so important for our group and for the development of my faith.

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Yes, BUT I am not getting paid for that

2011-03-24T12:30:00.001-04:00

In a conversation with my brother M, I was aghast again at how differently someone reacted to how I reacted. In fact yesterday the number of times that happened to me was astronomical. He asked,"isn't that what you do for work, understand differences?". I replied, "Yes, but I am not getting paid for this."

It is so easy to coach and advise others on differences between themselves and others, often using Myers-Briggs. It is near impossible to do it for myself especially when I get emotionally involved, AKA hooked. This is especially apparent when I am in charge and being challenged by that person. Don't they see that I am in charge and have 51% of the vote. I don't like to pull the trump card but I will.

So, yes this is what I do for work, understand differences, and point them out. Thankfully there are people in my life who will do the same for me. And I laugh at myself for being human.

Eternal Optimist?

2011-03-22T15:46:00.000-04:00

I sometimes struggle with this. Am I really the eternal optimist or is it a mask for an eternal pessimist? Three occasions recently convinced me that I am an eternal optimist. The first was pulling out of our driveway after a record amount of snowfall for the winter, and saying "The winter was not really that bad after all." I would have been run out of town by half the population if I had said this in their company. There are no 5 feet snow banks left, and even though there is snow predicted, we are in the home stretch of getting to warmer weather. The second one was finding this card that my friend Susan gave me in the late 70s. It has been on my bulletin board since then. In an effort to clean up my bulletin board, I took a picture of the front and the inside of the card, and put it away in a file. It pretty much does fit my personality, the card that is.

However, there are times when I get pessimistic, and expect the worst. I have a vivid imagination and when my family is out on the road, and a bit late, I am convinced they are dead from a car accident. I am sure that my kids burned down the house while they are using it in Vermont.

I think having this vivid imagination is not very useful. "Worry is the misuse of imagination", is how one of our group once said it. That does not help when I am imagining the worst. I have to pull myself out of these images and talk with my Rock of Gibraltar who is usually the voice of reason.

OK, so being an eternal optimist is not always great. I don't see the potholes in life and will too easily jump on the latest idea without considering the downfalls. That is why I surround myself with Eeyores.

I am what I am, and I love this card as evidenced by it's presence on my bulletin board for over 40 years.

Give it up to the snow!

2011-03-21T14:23:00.002-04:00

Rant alert!!!!!

Ok, so there is snow coming down and it has been a mighty winter but would everyone please chill out. We cannot control the weather, unless global warning is in that category, in which case we are controlling it.

As I drove around doing errands just now, YES, it was snowing. But winter is almost done and it is officially spring after all.

As we pulled out of the driveway yesterday and remembered the 5 foot snow bank, I reflected "that was not such a bad winter!". Remember I am an eternal optimist and please don't throw any rotten tomatoes across the Internet at me. I warned you this is a rant.

Maybe the comments made about the weather make it so we don't have to talk about Japan or Libya. Have you ever noticed that small talk is often about the weather. Nice safe topic we can all identify with.

In fact at a lay led service recently the winter weather was a prime topic, but many of us are on the other side of the coin and don't need winter to be over so soon. We are not so tired of the winter weather just yet. We should retire north, and those tired of winter in January, better retire to Florida.

Yes, it is snowing, and yes in 2001 there was an April Fools storm, and yes this weekend it was in the 60s. We cannot control the weather but we can control our reaction to it. Spring is here, the sun will come out and we won't have snow on the ground in May.

Rant over!!!!!

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Another blog about Yoga

2011-03-17T08:10:00.002-04:00

With the rejoining of the YMCA, I am exploring the yoga teachers there to see which ones I like. I went last night and Marilyn was teaching the class. I have been to her classes before when I was attending the Y faithfully. By 7 minutes into the class she was still waxing philosophically with a man who asked "if this is a non violent practice, why do we have swords and warrior positions?"

I started to get very irritated that she was not starting the "class" on time. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I caught myself and realized that this was the class and that not all teachers will be the same. Marilyn is the one I learned when i attended her class before, to move between poses with a mindful deliberate movement, which was a huge gift.

One thing I have learned through my practice is to focus on the space contained by my mat, and not worry about the others around me. When I am gazing, I keep my gaze within the boundaries of my orange rectangle. This helps me not worry what what others are thinking about my pose, and outside the rectangle, it helps me not be judged by others.

I thought when the class started slowly last night that it would not be a challenge, but the way my muscles feel this morning, in the end I got a good workout. My learning is that no motion, and holding a pose quietly, and being very still, is actually a lot of work.

I started yoga just about 4 years ago. When I started many of the poses were a challenge, and some I could not do, or I did them reluctantly. Those are some of my favorite now. Yes, I resist change, but then adopt it eagerly. As I settle into a routine and figure out what teachers to go to regularly for my yoga practice, Marilyn and her style will be included, but 12 hours ago, at the beginning of her class, this was not the case. What happened?

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Groups end, not always elegantly

2011-03-16T11:47:00.002-04:00

There is a well know model of group formation that many are familiar with. The Forming, Norming, Storming, Performing model. There is a little known stage that some practitioners use that is called Adjourning or Transforming.

I suspect there are a few reasons why they don't end elegantly. We don't want them to end, we don't want to say goodbye, and probably a few others. I think the most important is that we are not taught to say goodbye or how to end a group. A group I belong to says that if you are going to leave, you have to come back to say goodbye at one last session. That groups forces us to face the feelings associated with goodbyes. Anger, sadness, feeling of desertion to name a few. It also gives us practice as we say goodbye each time to a member.

This saying goodbye to groups, is very closely related to feelings of grief. Some religions have a great process of grief, and we could probably learn from them about how to end groups. The feelings might not be as intense but they are the same feelings.

As a growth opportunity for me, I am going to pay attention to groups and try to help them end elegantly. It is an ugly scene when they don't end well and I for one have scars from three of them that meant a lot to me and crashed and burned as they ended.

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Not on the Map or you cannot write the script

2011-03-14T18:24:00.001-04:00

I learned a new analogy on Sunday during the sermon. Peter was talking about Japan and the tsunami and how we cannot know that these things are going to happen. They were not on our map when we set out on this journey. What I have said up until now was "you cannot write the script (for life)". My Aunt Susie said this to me once and it has stuck with me since then. I have used this with a lot of the people I coach. Now I have another way to say it, "that was not on our map". Another friend said about her kids once, "they didn't come with an instruction booklet".

These three expressions are all suggestions that we are sorta in control of things in our lives, but not really. The sooner we realize that we cannot write the script, or draw the map, or read the instruction manual, then we might find it easier to enjoy right now.

This sounds pretty philosophical but it helps me explain events like Japan, when I cannot attribute it to God or a god. Grace happens as does the opposite.

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Don't fight yourself - you can be involved in lots of things

2011-03-11T12:34:00.002-05:00

In my coaching recently a theme has emerged around Myers Briggs. We all have preferences in our behavior that are hard wired. These are our natural preferences and asking us to operate outside these preferences is asking us to write with our non-dominant hand.

One person said "I feel like I am involved in too many things". Because we share the N and P, I looked at her with alarm and said "Says who?". As long as the number of activities she is involved in feeds her, then they are the right number of activities. If she feels overwhelmed then she has choices to make.

Today we did an exercise on prioritization where she listed all of her activities and placed them above the horizontal line (to keep) and below the line (to drop). She also placed them relative to the line for how important they are. Far away from the line meant there was no doubt, and close to the line, are the ones to discuss and determine what their real priority is.

We also discussed that because of the NP, the relative priority could change based on new learning or just because.

Society might say to her that she is involved in too many things, but NPs needs lots of activities to get recharged, and they need those to be able to change over time.

Our focus in coaching is for her not to fight against her preferences, or it will be tiring and she will be writing too much with her non-dominant hand. Have as many balls in the air as you want as long as you are sane and not dropping too many of them. The ones that hit the floor, should probably be below the cut line anyway.

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Don't want to finish a book

2011-03-09T15:44:00.001-05:00

The biggest reason that I don't want to finish a book is that I am enjoying it so much and want to savor every word of it. I don't want it to end. Recently "The Help" was like this. In fact I have been asking everyone for another book like it and have not heard anyone say they have one like it. Maybe I should reread it.

Recently another instance has come up where I don't want to finish a book. You have to know that I don't like suspense, or blood and guts or violence, which really limits the movies I can go to. Two times recently I have suspected that the book was going to have a bad ending and I have cheated and jumped ahead to read the last page. Darn, that is not the ending I want. In one case I stopped reading for about a week but then went back to the book and finished it.

The book I am currently reading, "A Cup of Friendship", does not seem like it can have a good ending, so I have noticed that my desire to read it is not there even though I read the first half quickly at Coniston this weekend. I have resisted looking at the last page so far, and I have not given up on it, so far, and returned it to the library unfinished.

I guess the mark of a good book for me, is one that keeps me reading to the end even though I know the ending and it is not the ending I want. It is actually a relief to know the ending in some cases, because I can brace myself. I have been known to not finish a book because l have peeked at the last page.

The older I get, the less I feel that I SHOULD finish every book I start or that it is cheating to read ahead. Cheating who? As I said, I am bracing myself to be able to finish it.

Does anyone have a book they have read that is as good as "The Help"?

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She's back to the YMCA

2011-03-08T13:28:00.001-05:00

We have a wonderful YMCA 3 miles away that was renovated a few years ago. I have a hot and cold relationship with health clubs. Last night R. Arrived home and said "I am going to rejoin the Y, do you want to?". I did not rejoin last night because he sprung it on me and did not give me a chance to think about it. Honestly, I could not find my gym bag and had already planned to do iPad yoga. This is so not my Myers Briggs style, but is honestly what I thought. Oh, and I was in the middle of watching "House" and BTW cried when he and Cuddy broke up last night. That comment as a tangent, is typical of my Myers Briggs style.

I don't know what got him to rejoin now. It could be watching our sister in law run 14 miles in the rain, sleet and snow in preparation for running a marathon in May. It could be seeing the shape she and my brother are in because they work out regularly. It could be a lecture from his primary care. It could be because I am trying to keep my mouth shut about him taking care of himself.

This morning I went over and joined, did the elliptical machine and some weights. I am returning this evening for a yoga class. I really love this health club for many reasons, and regret that I ever got out of the habit of going, and it really is a habit. I stopped before when the yoga teacher and class, I regularly attended, was cancelled. It also might have been the season was such I could walk outside. Whenever I drop exercise it is because the habit is broken, and breaking it is a bit easier than making the habit stick.

It was different today because I am not working. I did not have the pressure of getting to work, or crunching it into my evening routine. It was more relaxing for sure.

I will have to get into the routine of when yoga classes are, and when I will fit in weights etc. Mostly it is just great to be back, and to have R. going as well.

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Unique Signs - and the messages they send

2011-03-08T12:59:00.000-05:00

We have a hardware store 1 mile away from our house down Woburn Street. We always call it "the store at the end of the street". On my way to the YMCA this morning this sign caught my eye. I actually remembered to stop on my way back to take this picture. I love this picture on many levels.

It is handmade.
This is an independent store and we give them our business whenever we can, as opposed to a big box chain store.
It catches your eye as you drive along, and it so simple.
We need to take of each other, including the birds.

This store has a few of these signs which are seasonal, and I just love the way it rests on the two ladders. This sign with the bright yellow bird is a harbinger of spring and given this winter we need many harbingers and reminders, and we need to support local businesses and take care of each other. This personal sign is a reminder of that.

Vowels and consonants

2011-03-04T09:19:00.001-05:00

Honestly, this is how my mind works and this was my first awareness of it. The year that we Chaired All Star II, we were allowed to spend an extra night on the island. So very excited, I opened my eyes, stood up and pronounced "I am horizontal!". My wonderful husband muttered through his yet to open mouth or eyes, "No you are vertical."

I told many people this story and one person helped me understand that vertical and horizontal are stored close in my brain so it makes sense that I would access the opposite one. Since this first happened, other instances have come up. The most famous was when I called a Koala bear a Panda, or visa versa. My husband proclaimed that day, that he would teach our children science.

Last night in choir the director said, "sing only the vowels of this section of music". I heard consonants and sang only consonants wondering why I sounded so different than everyone else. When we finished she said "Now add the consonants." They are stored close in my brain is one excuse, and I converted what I heard, vowels, to consonants. The really funny part is that we have done this exercise before, so I have experience only singing vowels.

I don't mean to make excuses but to offer an explanation for what might seem to you as a complete opposite. My retrieval of concepts in my brain is not as fine tuned as others. The image I have is a vinyl record, and my needle drops down on the wrong track, the track right before, or right after. Some youngins among us might not understand that analogy. What is a comparable analogy with iTunes?

Slips, trips and falls

2011-03-01T14:24:00.000-05:00

Our bike path has been cleared by a private contractor this winter. paid for by the "Friends of the Lexington Bikeways". It is so wonderful to be able to walk especially with the winter we have had. Unfortunately a half dozen times this winter I have been a mall walker because of the outside conditions.
When I worked in a manufacturing plant at Polaroid, safety was very important since there was dangerous equipment all around. One motto we had for safety training was "Watch for Slips, trips and falls!" A slip or a trip was a warning that something was not safe and often happened before a fall. If you paid attention to a slip, it might prevent a more severe incident like a fall. In fact, we reported all slips, trips and falls to rectify an unsafe condition.

I think about this a lot and especially when I am walking on the bike path. Today, while in a trance/zone as I powered along, I slid gently on a patch of ice. It was a nice warning to slip rather than fall. My zone however, was interrupted and my full attention was on my feet, and where they were planted. I thought about all the near misses on the ice this winter, and I also thought about the people I know who have really hurt themselves falling.

I was much more alert after that quick slide, but still would rather be out on a beautiful sunny day on the bike path, than in the mall.

Mistakes Happen

2011-02-17T17:02:00.000-05:00

I love it when this happens. I was cutting out fabric today. For those knowledgeable about quilting I was cutting out fat quarters. I grabbed the next fat quarter, and cut it into 9 strips. YIKES! I had cut it the wrong way, e.g. The fabric was oriented 90 degrees off. I am having to piece the fabric anyway since it is just a bit too small.

In reality the way I had mistakenly cut the fabric was a more efficient use of the fabric and will require less piecing. If I paid more attention to details, which I don't, and triple checked how the fabric was oriented I would never have found this better way to cut the pieces. Fortunately I found this out early in the project. This is not the same as making lemonade with lemons. This is a case of finding a better way by accident, by mistake.

It is similar to innovation where you try to look at things turned upside down or reversed. It in fact encourages me to not continue to do things the same way but to try a different way which might be better.

My first inclination was to yell at myself for making a mistake but in fact I ended up complimenting myself for finding a more efficient cutting method, and I will be more inclined to experiment next time and make a few mistakes because, mistakes happen.

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Pressure prompted - that is how I get things done

2011-01-28T10:17:00.000-05:00

One of the subtleties of the Myers Briggs profile is called pressure prompted. You know those people that you work with who when given a deadline don't start on the task right away. If you are an early starter, we drive you crazy, because as soon as you get a task with a deadline you start right away. We don't. In fact if I start on the task right away it makes me anxious. How I get things done is a last minute burst of energy right before the deadline. My work is not inferior to those who start right away. I get energized by that last minute burst of energy, and I rarely miss a deadline. I often bring this up in my workshops on Myers Briggs because I think this is one of the areas at work that can cause the most conflict. Early Starter or Pressure Prompted. Think about which one you are. Does the other type drive you crazy, or make you anxious?

Some of the judgements we make about the other type are very interesting. When an early starter asks me for a progress report, or gives me their update on what they have done so far, I ask myself "What is their hurry?" or "Why are they so up tight we have two more days until the deadline?". Early starters look at me and say "Why has she not started yet?" "Can I trust that she will get this done on time?"

When I discovered this little subtlety of the Myers Briggs it made me relax when I start working on something. I know I can turn on the gas and get it done in that last minute burst of energy. This came up for me as I write my testimonial for "Why I come to Church" that I will deliver on Sunday, two days from now. Today is Friday and I sat down yesterday in about 45 minutes and wrote 90% of it. I will polish it up in the next two days but for the most part it is done, and early in my mind.

Don't get me wrong, occasionally I will count on getting something done at the last minute and LIFE HAPPENS, and I don't have enough time. I think though that I have practiced this enough, and feel comfortable that this is how I work. Starting something "too early" makes me too anxious.

Are you pressure prompted or early starter? Does this cause you conflict when working on deadlines with others?

Memory of Qammi - enter Shakes the wonder cat

2011-01-14T21:41:00.000-05:00

Hopefully this is not in the category of oversharing. When our chocolate lab was alive, she and I had a silly little routine. I take a bath in the morning and she would run into the bathroom as soon as she heard the water running. Qammi would sit patiently waiting until I held water in my hands and she had her morning drink of water. I don't know how this routine started. A few guests were surprised by her pushing open the bathroom door, when they started the water running for their bath or shower.

I have missed this routine since she died. Enter Shakes, our rather uncoordinated cat, to say the least. He has cerebellar hypoplasia so other than shaking and being uncoordinated, he is a "normal" cat. Since Bee left for college last week, he has been rather lonely and has followed me into then bathroom for my morning bath. The first few mornings he tried to get up on the edge of the bath tub but fell or flopped onto the ground. In a way I was glad that he could not replace Qammi in this silly little routine.

He may not be coordinated but he is determined. This morning, he got himself up on the edge, and he stayed there, mildly shaking, so I tried the water in hands routine, and he drank the water out of my hands. His name is Shakes because he does shake, so not very much water reached his mouth. The memories of Qammi were there, but the experience was different enough that I just sat and grinned AND then he fell down and flopped on the floor saying "See, I knew I could do it, I just needed a little more practice, see you tomorrow, same time, same place."

Where have I been for over two months you ask?

2010-12-03T19:04:00.000-05:00

I think my blogging frequency has decreased since I got my ipad for sure but that is not the only reason I have been absent. For the last two months, I have spent a lot of time making a HUGE decision. People who knew me in 2005 will say "yeah, yeah, yeah, you retired once before".   I am retiring to figure out what to do in my retirement. December 23rd will be my last day at Intuit. . Past posts here all say that I think Intuit it is Great Place to Work and it is. Why then am I leaving this Great Place to Work? Am I crazy to be giving up a good job with a Great company? Yes and No!

A few events in the last few months have caused me to re-evaluate my priorities, and to think a lot about what is important in life. This could be a mid-life crisis, but it does not feel like a crisis. Rather it feels like an opportunity. After 20 years in HR where I have helped a lot of people, coached a lot of managers and employees, conducted a lot of training sessions etc. it is time to take a breathe and take care of me. My wonderful husband said during this past two months "You cannot help getting involved in peoples' lives. That is what you do." Yes, that is what I do.

So my next opportunity will involve people, it will involve my Unitarian Universalist Principles, it will probably not be full-time, but who knows.  My thoughts right now is that it will be non-profit work empowering young women. Stay tuned here as I travel on this journey and explore this wonderful opportunity.

I have been doing a lot of thinking to come to this decision, and a lot of counting my blessings. I don't need anything else in this holiday season to be fulfilled.

The perfect wedding and transitioning to a new generation

2010-09-26T17:02:00.000-04:00

The last few weeks have been pretty with the planning and executing the plans for the wedding held yesterday at Coniston. I talked with my Mom a lot during the last two days about transitions. Hers from being the mother of the bride or groom to the grandmother and mine transitioning to being the mother of the groom. All of the past family weddings I have been a sibling, bride or friend. This was very different. As I walked down the aisle I honestly thought, "Why are they looking at me, the bride with be along in 60 seconds?" I also laughed when at the rehearsal the minister said "We will save the chairs down in front for the old fogies" and I pointed at myself and said "She is talking about me!"

The three days before the wedding were a flurry of family involved in activies at Coniston. Wiring done by brother Charles, flowers down by Peg and Ruby, English family entertained by George and Judy while we dined at the Blue Paddle Bistro with the wedding party. Our English family helped get the tent set up, set up tables and lent many extra hands to the effort.

The ceremony was perfect for this couple. The wind blowing through the delicate fabric strung over the arbor could not have been done better in a Hollywood movie.

I was fine with the crying bit sort of. . . until I saw my son with tears standing under the arbor, and then saw my daughter in tears walking back down the aisle. I could not even look at Rod for most of the ceremony, if I wanted to see the rest of it. It was a "two hanky day", and we used both of them.

And then the party began! The DJ played music from 4 - 9 pretty non-stop. Both families have people who love to dance. The obligatory Coniston bocce game was played by the wedding party (in all seasons, we play bocce on the front lawn with our guests), and coming from a family of pyromaniacs, the bonfire really lit up the night sky.

Our neighbors have a daughter who invited herself to the wedding and arrived with her Mom in tow later in the evening. She asked if she could talk to the bride, she danced with the bride, and took home a caramel apple and a napkin with the names of the bride and groom on it. This was her first wedding. It was interesting to take a step back and see a wedding through the eyes of an eight year old. She left saying "I cannot see them right now but say good bye to the bride and prince for me."

This was the first wedding of the next generation of cousins on my side. They were all there, and we in our generation talked a lot about what kinds of weddings they will have. What kinds of impressions did they take away from watching their oldest cousin/brother get married? Do they remember attending their first wedding? Did they talk to the bride or dance with the bride and talk home that special treasure from the wedding?

Coniston is changed forever now that we have had a wedding here. The arbor is permanent and the holes drilled for the tent stakes are permanent. The tent is not permanent except in our memory. This afternoon, when flames from the bonfire erupted (YIKES, I thought the fire was out) Bee looked at it and said "Their love is still burning." May the memory of the bonfire and the music and the family and friends and the bocce game carry us forward to the next wedding memories we create. Who will be married next?

Doing more of what you want to do

2010-09-10T11:59:00.000-04:00

Doing more of what you want to do, came up as a theme at our most recent covenant group. This cause me to think about whether I am actively doing this or not. The answer is maybe and maybe not.

I very deliberately decided that this summer I would play a lot more golf than in recent summers. I held true to this and played at least twice a week with two different groups. I played at 7:04am yesterday morning, and on my drive home I fantasized about dropping by Pine Meadows to play another 9 holes for the day. It is getting too late to play after work, BOO HOO, but watch out for next summer. I will be upping the ante on golf.

I want to get more exercise, and this is a tricky one. It needs to be built into my schedule or it slips away. If I walk right after I get home, and get into that habit I will probably be successful. If I wait and pretend that I am going to walk after dinner, the probability of success decreases. Remember, I am a morning person.

Lately, because of a certain day in September when our son gets married, I have been preoccupied with wedding stuff, so my quilting has been dormant. Need to get back to that after the wedding.

In terms of volunteer activities, I am doing what I like to do there. I am on the board of Star Island Corporation, and hopefully having an impact keeping our beloved spiritual community viable for my grandchildren.

Yes, and at work, I am doing what I want to do. I still love my job after 3.75 years and cannot imagine even looking for another job. Oh, there are some days when it is not terrific, but compared to where I might be, this is perfect for me.

The older I get, the more I do what I want to do. I have less tolerance for obligations or mediocre activities. Should a, could a, would a, do not do much for me. So, more golf, more quilting, more exercise, more Coniston, more family and friends and less of everything else . . .

2010 - Summer of golf and learnings

2010-09-03T15:11:00.000-04:00

No, the summer is not yet over, even though Labor Day weekend begins in a few short hours, but I figure I would post this while the thoughts are fresh.

I set out this summer with the explicit intention to play lots of golf. I regularly played on Monday night with women friends and on Thursday mornings in the Intuit golf league. Don't cringe, but we teed off at 6:06 for the early birds and 7:03 for those who slept in. I also try to play in Vermont with my family the weekends we are up there.

Before this week, when my club really started connecting with the ball I used to be baffled at how some of my compatriots could lose so many balls, and not know where their balls had gone. I was not hitting the ball long enough to ever lose any balls. The only place mine ended up was in the H2O. In fact, I have had the same pocket of balls for years, because I never lost them. This week I ran out of that pocket of balls and started playing with new fresh pink balls. I had one drive this week where I actually lost a ball in the rough. I had another drive on the 7th hole at Pine Meadows, where I usually drive just over a hill. This week it was way far down that hill. I could not believe my ball went that far.

It is very exciting to be improving. My score is not drastically better, but my drives are consistent and getting longer. Practice, practice, practice does improve your game.

I am no longer baffled about how I could possibly lose a ball in the rough. I am not surprised that my drives are longer and more consistent. I knew entering the summer of golf that if I played this much I was bound to get better. It is too bad, for my golf game, that fall is approaching. Maybe a winter vacation to a golf destination is in order.

Just not sure some technology is more efficient - IM and texting

2010-09-01T12:43:00.000-04:00

As I was IMing with a colleague yesterday this thought that is the title of this blog post came to me. Before IM, you would walk to the office next to you, or pick up the phone and talk live. Those conversations might not have been efficient but I suspect they were more efficient that some of the IM "conversations" I have seen or been a part of. Additionally, IM lets you remain a bit detached from the person, where you cannot read innuendos or body language. There is so much room for misunderstanding. Having said all of this, IM and chat have become such a big part of our communication. Why? You don't have to get up and leave the task you were in the middle of is part of the answer. It is quick and can bring remote workers closer is another part of the answer. It allows multi-tasking is another reason.

Walking around the office and hearing the clicking of the typing and the bell sound notifying someone of another IM causes me to ask, is this really more efficient? I bet some of those conversations should be live ones or at least phone conversations.

I often am in the middle of typing an IM thread and stop myself and pick up the phone or suggest a live conversation when we are both free to avoid bad communication or misunderstanding.

I know that IM does provide some convenience which is why we do it. You can quickly get information when you are in the middle of another meeting and that person can reply even if they are in the middle of another meeting. For this, it is valuable and efficient, albeit distracting.

Texting has also entered our culture as a method of communication. I "get" texting. You can send a message, and the person does not have to be there, and can answer at their convenience. A quick message or question that can be read on your own time is not as disruptive. It is like voice mail, if you really don't want to talk to someone, you can text them. There is still abuse with texts, when in fact conversations should be live.

So I wonder what the next technology will be? What will replace IM and texting? What other multi-tasking activity will be banned while you are driving?

Hi My name is Sally and I am a Golf Addict

2010-08-13T08:02:00.000-04:00

This summer has been amazing for golf. I play at least twice a week and sometimes a third time. Monday nights are with my friend E and occasionally a third. Thursday mornings at 6:06 I play with the Intuit golf league. Don't forget that I am an early bird when you gasp at the early tee time. I can get to work by 8:30 by teeing off at 6:06.

Early on in the summer, my two brothers gave me a couple of tips and for the most part they have become a part of my game. They were: 1) Don't bend your left elbow 2) Hold the club like it is a bird - that gently. I KNOW that consistency is the name of the game in golf, so playing this often will help with that.

What is really interesting to me, is that my scores have not gone down much this summer but my satisfaction of my game has. If I could only string together a series of 8 or 9 holes, my score would go down, and someday at this rate that will happen.

The other surprise is that when folks hear I play golf the normal reaction is "You play golf, I did not know that!" OK, if I were male, this would not be a normal comment, and would not even be a thought or a prejudice.

Why is it still perceived as a male game? I know plenty of women who play. In our family, Murg is the golf widower. Just another way that I turn the world upside down I suppose. BTW, I had to add a new label for this post . . . golf.

Working in the middle column

2010-08-05T09:07:00.005-04:00

During my review two weeks ago my manager help me connect some dots that before were just that, dots hanging out in space.

2 months ago we had a career discussion where I shared my strengths from a profile from strength finder. Here is a picture of my strengths.

We had a great conversation in May and an even better one two weeks ago during my year end review.

Today, during our 1-1 we revisited the review by way of "What did I learn during the review and what will I commit to for this year?"

There are very few people who can hold up the mirror for me the way she does. It is a gift for both of us that she can be honest with me AND I can be open to hear, process and modify my behavior.

The essence of our conversation was the balance of work between strategic HR work and tactical HR work. My natural inclination is the strategic. That is the way I think and is confirmed by strengths in the strength finder. I often seen things as binary so I was dividing the work into two buckets and did not see that they were connected. In fact I bragged that on my white board the blue pen indicated strategic and the red was tactical. I further bragged that I glanced at the board to make sure that I was working enough in the strategic.

My manager's insight, and observation, which she helped me to understand by physically connecting the dots is that the HR Business Partner work is not one or the other. She actually listed the strategic in a column, the tactical in another and in the middle of these two she drew some circular scribbles to indicate that this is where the work is. That is the middle column work and is where we should be working. Her challenge for me into figure out how to operate and work there.

In the past two weeks I have felt myself irritated with the tactical UNTIL I can catch myself and reframe my mindset and approach. After a few of times catching myself I actually believe that working in the middle column is "the work". I don't get as irritated and I have started to enjoy my whole job. This does not mean that I don't slip back and get irritated. Behavior change is hard but I have been able to reframe my approach most of the time.

We have a code word now of the "middle column work".

We both agreed that my review was a very intense conversation. This may sound trite but I believe that feedback is a gift. Taking it to the next level of rewiring my mindset and reframing my work will be hard work but well worth the effort. I am beginning to like working in the middle column.

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California friendliness

2010-07-27T20:21:00.000-04:00

While sitting at dinner on Sunday afternoon at Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, I brought out my knitting. 2 people at 2 separate times came over and admired my knitting. I don't mean they admired my knitting, I mean they ADMIRED my knitting. One of them was a knitter and was feeling badly that she did not have hers and the other was a family where the young child was watching me so the Mom started the conversation.

I started to think, WOW, California is more friendly, but these folks were from Florida and Wisconsin(?). So is it the atmosphere of California that made them more friendly, or is it that they were on vacation that made them more friendly.

I can tell you it did not feel like New England or Boston the way they approached me and the depth of the conversation. It was not a polite, "Oh, look you are knitting." It was "Wow, love your knitting, wish I had mine, let's talk for a bit about knitting, and anything else, but mainly lets talk and connect."

Was I more open to it since I am on vacation? Am I not open to it in Boston?

I am not really sure, I just know if felt very different and I liked it and at the same time was a bit suspicious about them as they approached me. Typically New Englander I suppose!

Hertz is more random than I am

2010-07-27T20:15:00.001-04:00

On this trip I have had the opportunity to rent from Hertz three times.

The first time in Salt Lake City they gave me a huge SUV, and I could barely get into the cab it was so tall. I went back and asked for a smaller car. There was another gentleman in front of me, who did the same thing. I also did not want to pay for gas for a SUV.

In San Jose, I got a hybrid. It took me a bit to figure out how to start it, but I did finally figure that out. I was only driving it for the day, so I did not really need the hybrid part.

On Sunday, I picked up my last car of the trip. I don't even know the brand, but there are no electric locks, windows etc. When was the last time you rolled up a window with a winding knob?

When I mentioned this to someone at dinner last night they said "Is is all random." I am a Hertz Gold Member which means I don't have to wait in the huge long line and can walk straight to my car. Don't you think they would give the best cars to the Gold Card Members? I know they had lots of cars because I walked through them at the Hertz parking lot at SFO.

What is really interesting to me is I refused to drive the SUV, but I did not refuse to drive the untechnical car. It sounds like a tin can and I have to walk around to each door to lock it, and wind up and down the window myself, but I am a lot more comfortable in this car than the SUV.

Memories are just that - they are not fact

2010-07-22T18:32:00.000-04:00

My wonderful son and I had a funny conversation about which apartment we lived in when Murg brought him the helicopter. I have the advantage of age, which come to think about it may not be an advantage after all if senility has set in. I was so sure about being right on this one we made a $100 bet. We called Murg in the middle of the conversation and Chris asked him. There is some deal going on between them, that Chris is paying Murg $75 to say it is the house Chris thinks it is.

Today on Face book, Murg attributes a phrase to Chris, that I am convinced he himself said. It is a long story and the punch line is "Sally, could you please have another sip of coffee?" OK, I was being really cranky on our Saturday errands driving around, and I actually did need another sip in order to be around any one else on the earth, and you all know how important it is for me to be around others.

I have told this story hundreds of times, and I have always attributed it to Murg, but you know, I am not sure about this one. Certainly not sure enough to bet $100, but maybe $75, if the math works out right.

Decaffeinated - what would that be like

2010-07-20T14:29:00.000-04:00

I am spending this week in Orem, Utah with our sales people. As I did my coffee run just now (can you have a coffee run for one because NO ONE else here drinks coffee?) I wondered aloud what it would be like to live with coffee. I also wondered about what caffeine does to your body as my heart was racing 20 minutes after the infusion.

I observed my office mates this morning, and there were two who arrived on my heels at 7am. They seemed bright eyed and bushy tailed without java.

My body NEEDS coffee to wake up at this point and I know that is an addiction but not one I worry about just now!

I always say that coffee is the one vice I refuse to give up but I am reconsidering that today, but not really!
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Grief 15 years and it still catches me off guard

2010-07-14T07:43:00.000-04:00

Just now walking down the hall, as I planned my next project, I was thinking about rug hooking. I took a rug hooking class in Middlebury VT over 15 years ago, and like many of my classes, I have done little with it since then. Recently I moved all of the rug hooking materials to Coniston because I think it is more likely that I can have time there to work on it. I also found a shop in North Hero which has the same exact rug company products which sparked a new interest for me in rug hooking. Then, I saw a quilt at Vermont Quilt Festival, of a map of Vermont and all of its counties and BINGO, my next rug project will be a map of Vermont with each county a different color. This is how design works for me. An idea percolates for a while and then BINGO, walking down the hall the idea comes to me. This happened with my alphabet quilt projects a few years ago. For a few years I imagined an alphabet quilt with the square a fabric piece that represented the letter and the letter appliqued on it, e.g. Apple fabric for A, bumble bee fabric for B, etc. Then I saw this exact design is a quilt book, bought the book and produced multiple quilts of this design. Nieces, nephews, auction winners at both First Parish and Star were recipients of this quilt design. But I digress . . .

I was staying with Mom and Dad when I took the rug hooking class. After I returned to their house one of the things I needed was a frame to put the in-process rug in. They gave us a rudimentary design during the class that I explained to Daddy and a few hours later he produced it from his work shop. He was like that. A mere suggestion of an idea or need, he disappeared and came back with it.

So why, almost 15 years after his death, just thinking about that rug frame, do I suddenly burst into tears? Is it because I was caught off guard? Murg said once that he grieves every day the loss of his parents. This was my moment today to grieve the passing of Daddy. I have the rug frame though and this weekend that design of Vermont counties will probably be on it. Thanks Daddy!

With some people this is how I act - all joking aside

2010-07-12T14:36:00.000-04:00

One of my fellow shoalers this last week comes to Star about every 5 years. Almost as soon as we step on the boat to travel to the island, we are zinging each other. This happens with me and certain people. I am sure there is some Freudian analysis that would explain it. Maybe he reminds me of my Dad or my brothers. In any case, on Tuesday, R turned to me and said "Can we stop this?" to which I replied "Yes". Our efforts to only speak gently and kindly to each other was hysterical, and almost sugar sweet, BUT we made it through most of the week, and BTW, we got to know each other in a different way, a deeper way. It was nice, and would never have happened unless he said "Can we stop this?"

Another conversation the last morning, was about joking. I still maintain that all joking has a certain amount of truth, otherwise, why would the joke come to you in the first place? B and I totally agree on this one, and we are both pretty sensitive so the jokes hit us harder than others. I have been on this rant for a while at work and at play. Some joking is funny, and light-hearted but some is down right mean. How do you walk the fine line between the two? I cross over that line a lot, particularly with people like R who trigger me.

Pretty funny that I blog about these two topics together. They are joined in my mind and are room for my personal improvement.

Creature of habit in the morning at Star Island

2010-07-12T09:19:00.000-04:00

Saturday was the day of my return from Star and therefore a lot of blogging material is rattling around but this is the most concrete thought for now.

We stayed in Starloft which is a beautiful accommodation. Our bed was in a dormer such that I only had to open my eyes and lift my head a tiny bit to see the sunrise. Each morning I watched the sunrise, went back to sleep until 5:30 am and got up then for the day. The front porch was my destination and the early morning coffee. Two or three others were there and I watched the Island wake up. I also held babies while their parents caught a few more winks.

That view of the bed in the dormer the sun rising and the conversations early morning will carry me through 51 weeks until we are back again!

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I understand better how Software Engineers organize their work now

2010-06-29T09:25:00.000-04:00

I returned Sunday from 4 days of immersion into quilting at VQF (google it) and a mind full of ideas for my next quilts. Some many ideas, so little free time and a fabric stash that will long outlive me. BTW, if you want me to leave my fabric/yarn stash to you when I die, drop me a line.

Last night, after work and golf, I have great intentions to sit down at my machine and finish one of the projects from one of the 3 classes I took at VQF. I looked at the 5 unfinished projects and was paralyzed. Which one could I put 15 minutes into and move along? Was the right thread in the machine for any of them? Are there any deliverables that I have for any of them?

A concept that we have talked a lot about at work is how much time software engineers spend actually coding. Their ideal span of time for coding is 4 hour blocks, and our management schedule is 1 hour meetings. So, if they get in to work at 9am, and see a 10am meeting, they are reluctant to get started because it might not be the right block of time.

That is how I felt last night. I needed at least an hour to get to work on something, and being the lark that I am 10pm at night is not the right hour to sit down with a sharp rotary cutter and scissors and a sharp machine needle. Accidents happen when you are tired around sharp instruments. SO, I did nothing on the projects and tried to organize my fabric stash so that when I am ready, I can grab the right fabric.

Maybe tonight I can find a 1 hour block of time. I entertained getting up at 5am to put an hour in this morning, and actually almost did get up and do that. My excitement for finishing those projects and starting up some new ones might actually get me up at 5am one of these mornings. For now, I am admiring my unfinished projects, and planning my new ones and strategizing to find 1 hour blocks to sew.

Sort of Like Wayne Gretsky

2010-06-22T16:08:00.000-04:00

This is a bit of a stretch, but I am sort of like Wayne Gretsky. I heard once that when he plays, he views the ice from above, and looks down on where the puck and players are or will be. I do the same thing when I think about directions and getting somewhere.

This topic came up on Sunday when we drove into the ICA. I get places by a "helicopter" or Google earth view of an area. Just now I found myself almost lifting from my seat, to view how I would get from here to our dinner engagement. That is when I said out loud to myself, "I am like Wayne Gretsky."

When I am trying to figure out the BEST (and I am almost always interested in the best, or path of least resistance) way to get some place, I view it from overhead.

I don't think this is how everyone navigates. Bee seem to indicate during our conversation that this is not how she navigates. How to you view directions? When you are heading to a place is it the turn by turn directions or the helicopter view? So many things to ponder.

Island Citizenship - what does it look like?

2010-06-20T07:35:00.001-04:00

For the next few years, my volunteer hours are going to be spent on the board of SIC (Star Island Corporation). This weekend we had our June retreat "on island" and it was bittersweet. It was fabulous because we got two days on the island and not so good because we spent most of the time inside meeting. We could look out the windows at the island's natural beauty, which includes the pelicans aka pels (college age kids who work on the island), conferees and guests of the island.

One major topic we discussed a lot was Island Citizenship. Some of us tried to drop the Island part and just call it Citizenship, but IMHO, we should leave Island in the concept. The essence of the concept is that we all have to exist on this fragile small island (rock) in the middle of the Atlantic where most of us come for one week of the year. Many of us identify with "our week" and for the Island to exist we have to lift up our eyes and view the Island for the entire year, not just our week. The second part of the concept is how we treat each other within this Island community. There is lots of good work within our denomination about intentional community and right relations. (Google those) The third part is that our Island is fragile in many ways, and since we are all so passionate about making sure it exists for our grand children and beyond, we need to make every effort to fill beds this summer and beyond.

The Board has done a lot of good work since I joined 15 months ago, and it is a concept like Island Citizenship, which peaks my interest and causes me to get up at 5:30am on a weekend to put some effort into it. Shoalers beware, and non-Shoalers feel free to listen as well; the next time you see me, I will probably be enthusiastically talking about this concept. In the meantime, what do you think so far, with this little bit you have heard? Do you belong to an organization where participants feel so passionate and are working hard to maintain its future? Have you thought about intentional community and right relations? Do you have any best practices for moving an organization in those directions? This is a true Sally post; alwaysaskingwhy!

Big company or small company person?

2010-06-16T21:15:00.000-04:00

I had dinner with a friend tonight and one topic we discussed was working for a small or big company. As in many issues for me I am mixed. My first job out of college was as the 5th employee at a restaurant and we built it into a 65 employee business access two sites over two two years. I also worked at a startup (small company) right before Intuit (large company) and have worked at two other large companies, Polaroid and Smith & Nephew Endoscopy.

I am not sure but I think I prefer a small company. Right now I have the best of both worlds. Small business unit which is very entrepreneurial inside a large company. This might very well be why I often describe it as "I don't really feel like I am going to work!"

I do believe that usually people prefer one or the other. My dinner colleague is definitely a small company person.

What do you prefer? Do people stay in large companies for the security? Do they work in startups for the excitement and risk? Can you have the best of both worlds in the same company or am I being a polyanna about my current situation? Alway asking questions!

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A&W Drive-in memories

2010-06-14T20:58:00.000-04:00

Yesterday on our way home from visiting friends in Cornwall we stopped at the A&W drive-in in Middlebury Vermont. I love this place. Probably since 1964 when we spent the summer in Vt, I have been there most years of my life. We moved there in 1965. We also often went to the A&W drive-in in Rutland Vt.

The most told story about the drive-in is the time Mom rolled down the window with 8 mugs of root beer on it. We love that story and every time say "Don't roll down the window!"

The taste of root beer floats always takes me back to this drive-in. More than once we have driven from almost an hour away to go there.

Yesterday I really wanted a root beer milk shake. Yum Yum! They were out of root beer syrup yesterday. Not to worry! Second best is a root beer float.

Summer to me is the opening of the drive-in and a root beer float on a hot summer day.

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Life comes around in a circle

2010-06-06T16:50:00.000-04:00

This picture was taken in our bathroom at Coniston. It is not the best picture in the world but is iPhone quality so what do you want?

After owning Coniston for just about two years we are getting around to the tweaks of home ownership, like hanging pictures. These three pictures are not art in the true sense rather they depict a moment in my life when I was living hand to mouth, and had very little disposable income.

It was my first apartment in Boston in 1985, after I separated from my first husband. Crick and I lived on Jersey Street in the Fenway area of Boston. For excitement we used to go to games at the 7th inning, and just walk into the park for the last few innings. 911 has changed a lot of things! You cannot walk into Fenway like his now.

We also used to look out our apartment window on game nights and after the first car was towed from in front of our building, Crick went to bed. His treat was watching the tow truck. It is amazing how many smart Red Sox fans cannot read No Parking signs.

As a way to decorate my new apartment I put together these three pictures which represented the true Sally and a few of her loves. One thing I collected as a kid were post cards and when I went to an art museum, I bought post cards of my favorite paintings. These "pictures" were hanging in Lexington until we redid a bathroom a few years ago and have sat in a box of pictures that made it's way to Coniston last summer.

A flood of memories of that time in my life came over me as I cleaned them off yesterday and straightened some of the postcards. I am in such a different place in my life AND they now hang in the bathroom at Coniston. I still get a feeling that the true Sally as a little girl and then the true Sally who discovered herself during that time of my life and the true Sally who is being discovered every day is represented in these postcards. Nice to have them back in my life!

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Golf and Behavior changes not so easy for perfectionists

2010-06-06T08:13:00.000-04:00

Last Sunday while playing golf G and M (2 brothers) after the first 9 holes they dissected my back swing and holding of the club. Mind you, there are just a few people I will accept tips from on my golf stroke. My attitude until now has been, "the ball went forward, and most of the time it went in the air, happy for both of those, and it is a beautiful walk today with good conversation."

Since I am playing at least twice a week this summer, this is the time for change. My "back nine" were horrible after the dissection, but I knew that would be the case. Thursday and yesterday I was still working out the kinks so less than half of my strokes were solid. I know, because I teach change to managers for work, that change is hard. You actually have to rewire the brain for the new behavior and not fire the old response AT ALL during the rewiring. AT ALL is extreme but pretty true in the case of my golf stroke. For the last week I have focused on two things that are different in my stroke.

1- don't bend my left elbow on the back swing and
2- hold the club like you are holding two baby birds.

Two things to change is almost too many BTW. I tell managers to focus on one change at a time.

We can all improve our behavior and responses until the day we die and for those of us ENFPs who are constantly trying to improve things this is our path. I cannot say that I have improved that many behaviors. My first grade teacher commented that I should work on patience as did my manger recently, 50 years later.

Think about the concept of golf for a minute and of all the variables. I asked G and M for a list of other things to work on, after I have institutionalized these two, which may have been unfair but this is the summer of Golf for me. Got to shave off a few strokes while still enjoying the game. Got to not bend that elbow.

So I think we can change if we are aware, have feedback, focus on the rewiring, and have a healthy dose of patience and ability to laugh at ourselves, during the clumsiness of the process. I will never play scratch golf or be on the WPGA but I will continue to enjoy the game while getting better and peeking at the next item on that list.
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I Love Vermont - AGAIN

2010-05-28T12:16:00.000-04:00

On my Jet Blue flight from NYC just now, I sat next to another person who grew up in Vermont and is coming back this weekend for a family reunion.

As we started to see the Green Mountains, we both were stretching our necks to absorb as much as possible of the scenery outside the window of the plane.

It happens slower when I am in a car as I cross over into Vermont in White River Junction, but looking down from the plane on the state that I spent half of my growing up years, warmed by heart and calmed my soul.

A lot of it is the history of family here, and the presence of current family that we visit when we come up for the weekend. And some of it is the life style and the scenery. I read an article in Vermont magazine about a man who commutes, but never dreads his commute because he is driving through beautiful part of Vermont.

I love Vermont, again, and again, and again.

Further California observations

2010-05-28T12:10:00.001-04:00

Since I was on the red eye last night I had some time to waste so after finding a cute yarn shop in Los Altos I got on 280 instead of 101. I usually travel on 101 since it is the most convenient but 280 is amazingly beautiful and uncrowded at rush hour. In fact I am not sure why I would travel 101 again unless I am time bound. 280 travels among the hills and you see very little towns whereas on 101 you never leave a city from the SFO airport to Mountain View.

When I left 280 to go down to Burlingame I drove on some amazing curvy steep roads. The speed limit was 10 miles per hour in some places. California has had rain lately so there were some DPW signs covering grates that said FLOODED. Formal signs they put out when the road is less than perfect. How civil? We could have used those in the North East. There were also sand bag stations with huge piles of sand. Never seen this in the northeast.

Final observation, in Burlingame there is an ordinance that you cannot post a For Sale sign in a car. Huh? There has to be a story behind this one unless I read the sign wrong.

Traveling is such fun to see the differences and to question why they are different.

Not an observation but I finally had dinner at an In-and-Out Burger. Google it if you don't know about this chain. I was impressed by the kid cutting up potatoes for French fries or rather the machine he was using to cut them up and they were delicious and the hamburger was OK. Hamburger and fries cost me 3.82 so it was a good deal but I am not sure I would hurry back. This could be because of my tendency toward veggies lately.

OK final final observation. Restaurant in CA employees do not wear gloves while preparing food, not even the ones who collect money and then get your fries ready. Has Boston gotten hyper sensitive on this issue or are our health departments stricter?

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What are you afraid of? What are they afraid of?

2010-05-27T16:25:00.001-04:00

At our HR off site, we had a box of questions and to get to know each other, we randomly pulled one out and answered it. Being the extrovert that I am, I wanted to answer every one, unlike the extreme introvert, who was visibly in pain at the thought of the question she/he might get. From MBTI experience for almost 20 years and without the actual data, this is a difference between Is and Es; how much they want to share their personal life with others. Obviously I want to share nearly everything with many people as evidenced by this blog.

So, I am afraid of being destitute. I am also afraid of snakes and fish that move quickly in the water, but my biggest fear, and the one that keeps me up at night, is of being destitute. Unless something rather extraordinary happens, there is no way this is going to happen, ever. Try telling that to my inner child, the one that is not as sheltered by rationale thoughts.

I was even in a conversation with someone last week where I contemplated and said out loud "It actually would be OK to be homeless in my later years, because you are on your way out anyway." I don't mean to be disrespectful of people who find themselves homeless by this comment, I honestly think I would be OK, if I were homeless as long as the climate I was in was not New England and in fact Florida or the South West is where we decided it might be OK.

Homlessness also came up this week in my prior blog, about how well San Francisco takes care of their homeless. It is an OK climate for homelessness, as long as you don't mind getting damp. At least you don't have 20 degree below weather to contend with in SF the way you do in VT.

So what are you afraid of, what is your biggest fear, the one that keeps you up at night? If we know this about each other, then working with them, and understanding them is a lot easier.

I often say to my leadership classes during a discussion of what triggers them, "If someone triggers you, ask yourself what they are afraid of. It will explain their behavior, and make is easier for you to understand and work with them." Some times I get a quizzical look when I say this, and sometimes I get a nod of the head. What can I say, this technique helps me cope when I remember to pause and ask the question, "What are they afraid of?"

Observations of San Francisco

2010-05-26T02:06:00.001-04:00

I am here at an off site with my HR team and have some observations.

The weather here is worse than Boston right now. Rain and pretty cold weather, maybe 60 degrees. Folks are walking around in down parkas with fur lined hoods! These don't come out in Boston until it drops to 20 or 30 degrees. Most of today there was a light mist or drizzle. Every local has an umbrella. The visitors did not come prepared and there are umbrellas you can buy from your hotel room which cost $30. In NYC the vendors come out as soon as the rain starts and sell $5 umbrellas. I saw no vendors here today. As an aside, the office buildings have racks with long plastic bags to put your wet umbrella in. Again, how civil. I tried to take a picture of the rack but the guard stopped me. Really?

People wait until the lights say walk even when no traffic is coming. They don't seem in a hurry and are pretty civil as they pass on the street.

There are many homeless people and I suspect the climate is part of the reason. A local said that they take good care of their homeless. Another local said a homeless person set up a tent in front of their building. It sounded like normal stuff. One homeless man was in his sleeping bag with a miner's light while he read. I have never seen that in boston.

This is the second time I have been fooled by SF weather. I should have brought a fleece and left my sandals at home and packed my $5 umbrella from NYC.

Those are my first day observations!

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Travel log - jet blue vs. Virgin America - and stay away from UFood Grill

2010-05-25T01:08:00.000-04:00

Frequent readers know I blog when I travel so here is the latest installment from Logan Terminal C this morning on my way to an offsite in San Francisco, not Mountain View but "the City".

I am flying this trip on Jet Blue only because Virgin America does not YET fly into Burlington VT. It is wishful thinking that they will ever fly there.

I got there early, wait, I always get there early for stress reduction reasons. Got my coffee from Dunkin' (last one for 4 days, Dunkin', not coffee), asked if they serve food on the flight, got NO for answer so went off in search of my lunch to eat 5 hours later.

The healthiest food is at UFood Grill so I ordered a sandwich wrap. They were under staffed and one of the employees said "I work with a bunch of losers and I am quitting today!". I thought and did NOT say out loud "seriously, you are really destroying the brand of UFood for me. I will think twice about my choice next time and since you are quitting anyway, why did you not just quit this morning or at least call in sick?". I hope the sandwich does not make ME sick!

I then camped out near the Jet Blue agent since the power outlet was there and complimented him a few times since obviously he was paying attention during his customer service training.

I asked him when Jet Blue is getting Wifi on their planes to which he sheepishly replied "a couple of months". From his reaction he knows that they really should have it to compete with Virgin America. When I was deciding which to fly the only positive for Jet Blue over Virgin is the Burlington Vt factor. JB has NO Wifi, no food beyond snacks and you have to flag down an attendant for water versus just ordering from your screen. I guess I am spoiled by VA but for the same cost, I have choices. Next time will probably be VA.

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A message to be patient once again

2010-05-18T21:38:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I got to work super early because it is a very busy week. Pretty much everything I touched around technology broke. Mondays it seems are always slow for booting up. I could not search with IE8 and our help desk had me uninstall and install, etc. Of course I had to reboot several times. You guys know the drill.

If I believed in a god I would have said that she was trying to send me a message to slow down and be patient. Technology is not always more efficient as I once again affirmed yesterday.

Part way through the morning when it felt as if I had accomplished nothing yet, I sat back and laughed at myself. Some times the early bird gets the worm. Yesterday was not one of those days!
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Cruising to Bermuda

2010-05-15T10:46:00.000-04:00

We stepped off the boat at about 8:30 am yesterday morning after a lovely 7 day cruise to Bermuda. For those who have not heard our story, we met there 25 years ago this month.

We are not your normal cruise attendees. That is for another post.

We did manage to explore and re-discover Bermuda and recreate memories from 25 years ago. We found the house that Murg rented on Brighton Hill Road. We found the beach where when snorkeling I thought those giant fish were nibbling at me.(3 inch long ones) We took the mail ferry around Hamilton Harbor, got off at Belmont and literally hiked over two hills to Warwick Long Bay Beach. We took a ferry from Dockyard to St George's and then buses back. We swam again at Church Bay; a wonderfully protected and beautiful non-tourist beach.

We were pretty proud of ourselves that this was all on a 3 day bus/ferry pass for $28.

The cruise was relaxing and peaceful and active all at the same time. Our daily exercise was 8 laps of deck 7 for 3.4 miles. We found our favorite restaurant was "Windows" and ate there most dinners toward the end of the cruise.

Back into the fray of the mainland I still feel as if the ground below me is moving and I need to make small adjustments to stay upright.

Our pictures and the pictures we took with our eyes will be what we have until we travel there again soon!

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Have people "around" you when you need them

2010-05-05T21:36:00.000-04:00

In a group I belong to, S told us that she took us to a job interview with her. We were sitting on the couch while she answered the questions and we chimed in with compliments for S spoken to the hiring manager.

Today we had another big org announcement, second one in two weeks. My boss called me a couple of hours beforehand and asked how I was doing and let me know she was there with me. Taking a cue from S I pretended that my boss was in my office today rather than across the country. It made a highly charged day easier to survive and remain calm.

I hope I remember to take people with me when I need them rather than attempting to survive solo.

Location:Home

Gloucester museum and visiting Star friends

2010-05-02T07:51:00.005-04:00

Yesterday, I drove up to Gloucester to visit with B and J. After swimming in their very warm pool, catching up on our lives, and eating a wonderful lunch by the pool, B and I drove over to the Cape Ann Museum of Art. B, who is becoming a docent at this museum, knows that I am a quilter and there is an exhibit right now of a quilter Clara Wainright. Here is a link to one she did names Gloucester Fisherman's Wives Quilt. She has also exhibited in a small museum in our backyard, Decordova.

Many of her quilts have a social action or political statement, like the Fisherman's wives one. Clara also is published in our UU World magazine for her work with quilting in communities in a collaborative way. If I did not have a need to be back home I would have spent the afternoon there. The exhibit closes on June 20th, so I am going to try to get back up there.

What I was left with yesterday is that in our own back yards are wonderful art treasures stored in small museums. This museum has a sea coast origin so there are ship models, and sea paintings. Gloucester and Rockport are known for their artists, so you can only imagine the talent encompassed in this place. I also thought a lot yesterday about how artists often make a political statement by expressing that statement through their art.

BTW, right next door to the museum, is a glass bead maker shop. Again, I could have dropped quite a bit of money in that shop if I had some time to shop. Another reason to go swim with B, and top if off with an afternoon at the Museum. I will go back!

Dumpster Diving - never thought I would

2010-04-29T10:40:00.002-04:00

I hope I do not offend anyone with this topic, but I never thought I would resort to dumpster diving. Last week for our Earth Day celebration, we re-branded our recycling so that is it clearer what to recycle where. Our office has made HUGE improvements this past week on our recycling. This combined with the landlord introducing a single stream recycling in our blue recycle office bins.

I found myself all week, reaching into the trash barrel and removing yogurt contains and soda cans for someone who cannot read the signs for where to put plastics and aluminum cans, and instead put recycle things in the trash. I stopped short of saying someone who does not care, because I am practicing "Assume Positive Intent".

We now have ceramic mugs right above the coffee machine, and we moved the paper cups so that they are hard to find. Greg wanted to buy 3 oz. paper cups. I thought that was a bit extreme. We run the mugs through a dishwasher, so there is always a clean one ready to use.

Our minister preached on Green stuff on Sunday and she made the point that this topic of Green and recycling can produce people who are holier-than-thou. I am one of those who is on the cusp of being holier-than-thou, so instead I will stick to dumpster diving and doing their recycling for them. They won't even know I am doing it.

Latest Rant - PST or PDT; EST or EDT

2010-04-27T07:42:00.004-04:00

For many years my trigger was being called a "GIRL"! A girl is an immature female species and many men unknowingly in the work place call women, "girl" when she is smart, or aggressive or assertive etc. As I said, they don't realize they are doing this. At Polaroid, a male who worked for me, called me honey and babe, when I gave him less than positive feedback. He also brought his 4 inch thick notebook into his 1-1 and dropped it from 4 feet above the table, onto the table in an effort to intimidate me. It did not work!

Many folks (men and women) have argued with me about this GIRL thing, and I have asked them to just observe. Often they come back and say they also observed it as well. I don't know when this changed but it no longer bugs me as much.

It has been replace with a much tamer trigger/rant.

When people put PST (Pacific Standard Time) and we are actually in PDT (Pacific Daylight Time), this jumps off the page for me. Mind you, details do not usually jump off the page, but this one does. In a conversation just now with a colleague, she puts just PT to get around that.

Am I just older than many people at work? Yes, I am older and I remember when daylight savings time was implemented so the difference between PST and PDT was much more important.

So why has this trigger replace the GIRL trigger? Maybe I have educated enough people around the GIRL issue. Maybe as I get older I don't mind as much being called a GIRL.

I can only store one joke in my memory at a time and tell and retell that joke until I hear the next good one. Maybe rants are the same way and the PDT rant has replace the GIRL rant. I will not promise to raise my eyebrows the next time I hear girl, but I no longer am giving the lecture which starts "A girl is an immature female species . . . "

Harvard Square differences

2010-04-25T06:49:00.003-04:00

Last night since we arrived home early from our dinner with Star Island friends, we decided to drive into Harvard Square for a "date". We parked at Huron Ave so we could get our exercise in, walked the 15 minutes to the Square, spent 20 minutes in the Coop, Murg bought 3 books, and then we walked over the the Charles outside hotel bar for a drink. Fortunately the Red Sox game was on so we watched a nail biter as Baltimore scored two in the ninth, closing to within one run.

On our way to the Coop we happened upon this scene. 6 individuals sitting in chairs in a semi circle watching the game on a TV inside a store, facing outward to the street. There were about 15 other people standing around them, since the chairs were all occupied. They could have been at Fenway watching, they could have been at the Charles Hotel with us. We were only a few hundred yards away drinking our beer and Dark and Stormy.

We discussed whether the chairs were their own or had the store provided them with the chairs. We wondered if they were homeless! We wondered if this is a scene for every Sox game! The Red Sox are adored by many people in this area. Watching the game when you are out and about on a Saturday night is easy no matter what your situation in life.

Life is Good, go Red Sox!

I like Change - when I am the one initiating it

2010-04-22T18:33:00.003-04:00

Our topic this week at the leadership training I am leading was change. I teach 5-6 models of change during this session, and get students to like about past and future change in their work or family lives, Many students said it was the best one yet.

New topic, but not really, you will see the tie in, I promise. I am a co-leader of our Green Team, and one part of Earth Day was making our recycling clearer, through signage and new bins. Two of us have been taking home plastic and Styrofoam to our town recycling for a year now, and we were going to have to get more folks to take stuff home because of the increased recycling. Yesterday was our Earth Day celebration, and employees walked into the new bins and signage. I asked a lot of them what they thought about the changes. Most like the changes, and some did not even notice.

Our facilities folks have been working with the property management company to do more recycling. Today they sent us an email that they are now going to recycle, IN ONE BIN, everything; paper, plastic, Styrofoam, glass bottles etc.

Wait a minute, we just rolled out our new program and one day later you roll out yours was my first thought. Mind you the facilities person has been telling me that the landlord was going to have increased recycling. I did not know it would be only one day after ours.

Obviously, I like that fact that they are recycling, but I did not like that we did not coordinate with them for the roll out. I actually did not like their change at first because I was not in control of it. Most of us, do not like a change when we are not in control and when someone does IT to us.