She's ready BUT am I?

Thursday we drive Bethany to Hampshire, for her to start her college experience. I think she is really ready to be at college. In the planning, she started buying stuff and packing back in June. This last year she has developed an incredible group of friends and this past week I am sure there have been some tearful goodbyes as the peel off to their various parts of the North East.

I have been saying to people that I am ready, but each time I tear up this week, I realize this is like a grief process. The sadness can overcome you unexpectedly at the weirdest times. Today a friend told me her daughter made the varsity field hockey team as a freshman in High School; I started to tear up. At that point I realized that I need to let myself feel the grief.

The day after we drive her out, and attend our parents' orientation, we return to Logan to pick up Rod's family from England who are visiting for 2 weeks. After I dropped Chris 10 years ago at UVM, I wet with my Mom to her brother's/my uncle's 70th birthday party in Wyoming. It was a nice distraction. Their visit will serve the same purpose. For Labor Day we are driving up to Bar Harbor Maine. Rod and I have never visited there. When his "sisters" are here, we try to take a road trip to somewhere we have never been.

So what have I been doing since I last blogged on August 6th; nursing a torn ACL, knitting (stuff I have to finish, not stuff I am excited to be working on), going to BEL's horse show and watching her ride, working, and waiting for our second bathroom to be worked on and finished. Of course we cut this one close, the sink arrives in the warehouse on Friday, yes the same Friday that Rod's family arrive. We would have planned this better if we were planners, being without a washer and dryer for Bethany's last 3 weeks at home. The other night she and I did 11 loads of laundry, and that was not all of it.

SO here we are in September when the year ramps up around the beginning of school. I am looking forward to getting some quilting done, seeing people from church again after the summer, and yes I am looking forward to being an empty nester, and I think I am mostly ready.

Another ENFP Core Dump

I usually have an idea of what I am going to blog, but not tonight.

Here is the core dump, NELS was wonderful. We had a highly functioning staff and an incredible group of participants. AND I am really glad that this was my last year on staff. We ended with a worship service that allowed us to cry, grieve and leave; thanks to Art and the staff who wil be continuing. The good news is that next summer I will take a real vacation instead of a working one that I have taken for the last 4 summers.

So what am I going to do with my time? Well, there is the jacket that I want to make for Margaret, and my office/study/guest room needs to be used as a guest room at the end of this month, and the normal list of things that keep me busy.

I did not take any knitting with me this week. The staff did not know what to do since one of my signs of stress is that I put my knitting down. They figured out other ways, like it is written all over my face, and body language. I am back knitting "Pretty Comfy Socks" and am on the home stretch with them. I also have a "few" unfinished projects to work on as I listed in a prior post.

My biggest personal learning this week, is on leave taking. Apparently within the therapist community it is widely known that a common coping mechanism is to pick fights with those you love when you are leaving. Mid-week, this was pointed out to me and I really had to hold the mirror up. It is true. In the last month I have found myself picking fights with Bethany. (In checking with her last night, she does not think I have, but I think I have) It was such a gift to have the mirror held up and to recognize this. It allowed me to laugh at myself.

So another thing I am going to do more is read. SOOOOOO, I am close and am off to read "Eat Pray Love"