Don't go to the noise, let it come to you

A few weeks ago, during a yoga class, there was a screaming baby just outside for the entire 90 minutes. I complained to the YMCA, and they made efforts to resolve the issue.

When I talked to my teacher about it, she explained an attitude and technique that is wonderful, and that I have used several times since.

Briefly it is, rather than "going" to the noise, let it come to you, and then figure out what to do with it. When there are noises during yoga now, I have tried this and it really works. I don't want to go out and tell them to be quiet anymore, I just move on.

This is a big one! When Murg/Rod snores now, I imagine that the sounds are like a wave flowing over me, and I fall asleep rather than get irritated. Ask him! I have not poked him to stop snoring in 3 weeks.

Yesterday during our business meeting of the Unitarian Universalist Association, a group of church members put up flags so their members could find the seats and so they could all sit together. The flags were in my direct line of sight to the stage. Should I move? Should I ask them to lower them? Instead they became a frame for me to look through, and assuming positive intent, I was no longer irritated with these perfect strangers.

I obviously won't catch myself and reframe my attitude every time, but so far this is working for me. Don't go to the noise, let it come to you!

New quote of the day - "Sure of you"

"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
— A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

The above quote is the basis for the sermon that was delivered at our final service this past Sunday. The quote and the resulting sermon were both brilliant. It will now become my quote of the day moving my current quote to the archived quote of the day.

For many of us in the congregation, the quote and the sermon were perfect, since this week we lost two members of our congregation.

One young woman was in the very first junior high youth group that Rod and I led in 1995. We found a picture of that very first youth group. With them we started a tradition of taking two pictures. A smiling one for their parents, and a second one of them making a funny face. Her face in the second one making a "wonderful" face, when I first saw it this week, was a stark realization of how precious life is. She was just shy of 29 when she died.

The second death was a member of of our covenant group. He exited the subway on 911, just in time to see the second tower fall, and walked back injured to his house in Brooklyn. He has struggled for the last year with sarcoidosis and has been in a hospital or nursing home for over a year. He actually became quite an advocate for sarcoidosis rights which was caused by living in NYC during 911, and the following months. The covenant group process really allows you to get to know someone in a very deep way. I knew Drew as a member of our group and will miss his empty chair at our next meetings. Even though he could not be at our meetings for the last year, we were "sure of you". We knew he was thinking of us during our meetings. We started a practice recently of imagining what missing members are doing during our meetings as a way of honoring them during our meetings.

With the recent loss of Uncle Chuck, and now these two losses, I am sure that my congregation is there for me and me for them. I am sure that my mother, siblings, aunt, cousins, children, nieces, and nephews are there for me. I always say that I was not sure why I joined First Parish until Daddy died, shortly after we joined. Knowing me almost not at all, the congregation enveloped me and gave me support on the worst day of my life so far. They held me in ways I did not know how to ask for.

Now I will say, when I really need to know someone is there, "I just wanted to be sure of you".

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Darn, another reason to get my head out of the clouds

Two days last week I had a flat tire on two sequential bike rides. I don't ever remember having a flat while I was riding a bike. I have had a flat when I was getting it ready for a ride, but not while riding.

The technician discovered glass shards embedded in the treads of the tire, hence the two flats. BTW, Bikeway Source in Bedford MA has excellent customer service. Both times they fixed it on the spot, and tightened my front tire as well. They also showed me how to put the tire on correctly, so it was tight enough, avoiding another potential accident (previous post on my bike accidents to date). And most importantly, they did not make me feel stupid.

On my first ride after the bike was fixed, I kept my eyes totally on the path in front of me to spot more shards of glass. Where did I pick them up? Are the other just waiting to jump into my tires? You might say for that I rode very tentatively, and in fact did not go near the area where I might have picked up the glass. 
Also recently I have tripped and fallen several times, as have relatives of mine. The sympathy I get from loved ones is "Slow down", "Look down", "Watch for pennies on the ground", etc. I actually found four coins the first day I tried that technique and just missed a twenty dollar bill on the bike path yesterday. Someone else beat me to it by seconds.

I should look where I am going, but I am always dreaming, always talking, and my head is always in the clouds. If I want to avoid glass on the tires, and if I want to not trip, I need to be looking down more. I am not a cautious person, but the older I get and the more falls I have, the more I am learning to be cautious, and look for those coins and bills as a technique and reward.  This does not mean I will have no accidents, falls or flat tires.  Just less hopefully.  Look up occasionally to see be on our wonderful bikepath.


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Story of the Cowboy Hat

2 years ago in April we traveled to Mesquite Nevada for a mini reunion with our Colorado cousins. This was just before Murg/Rod was sworn is as an American citizen. During that visit my youngest cousin, Hank, and Rod talked a lot about Rod's impressions of Cowboys. In 1988 at Mike and Peg's wedding in Colorado Springs, the cousins wore their WORK Cowboy boots and hats, and their DRESS cowboy boots and hats for the wedding. At this point Rod realized I was not fibbing when I talked about my Colorado Cowboy cousins.

Truth be known, some of my cousins revealed this weekend in Alliance NE (where we were for my Uncle Chuck's memorial service) that they don't wear cowboy boots any more unless they are on a horse. They are too old, the boots are too uncomfortable and you can't walk in them. Their children still wear boots and hats though, and these two Cowboys Mike and Brian Redmond, had their boots and hats on all weekend.  Mike still works on the Lazy EH ranch in Yampa CO, where I lived until I was 11.

After our visit two years ago, Hank thought that Rod as an American citizen should have a Cowboy hat, but he did not know his hat size. He told me this as soon as we saw each other for the weekend. "Easy, I said. Give me your hat, and I will pretend to take a picture of him in it!". Which I did. It fit perfectly.

Our last evening Hank made a short wonderful speech to the gathered family and friends and said "From my head to yours!" and switched his hat to Rod's head. HE GAVE ROD HIS COWBOY HAT! That is such an incredible gift and gesture.

Rod wanted to sleep in his hat that night, and is learning the cowboy hat etiquette, and how to swing his hips to walk like a cowboy. He proudly wore it through the Denver airport. Don't you think he looks pretty cowboylike?

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Champagne Jellies were my birthday present

I have the best husband in the world. He always gives me thoughtful and appropriate presents. Yesterday he gave me a 31.75 oz box of Bassett's Winegums as my primary present and it was perfect. You Brits will know what they are and of course there is a story behind this.

While visiting London last month we spent glorious time with A and J. M was too busy working so we did not see her. It was j's birthday the next day and while in a shop he commented while pointing to a bag of sweets, "These are my favourites (yes, we are in England for this story so this is correctly spelled) and I can only get them in the states at a shop near Davis Square!"

I thought a bag of these would be a great present for his birthday the next day. Remember that I am challenged by details, so Murg and I were looking for sweets that I described as "champagne" and "jellies"! Every shop we were in, I looked form the bag as did Murg. Finally at the end of the day I held up a bag of Wine gums, and said "Here they are!". Ok, my logic, champagne is close to wine, and we call them jellies in the states, not gums, so this made perfect sense to me.

If I had only one detail wrong, Murg would have understood, because he has learned to do that translation when I say the wrong word. Horizontal instead of vertical. Koala instead of Panda, etc. The fact that I was wrong on both words really confused him.

Going forward in our house J's favorite candies are know as Champagne Jellies. I like the sound of this name better.
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Empty Nesting

Yesterday was the day that reality struck! It was not the day that Bethany moved out since she moved out the day before and that was happy and sad at the same time. No yesterday, Shakes the wonder cat moved to his new flat. He thought he was going on the 3.5 hour trip to Coniston, which is the usual trip in the car we take with him. He settled in on Bee's lap and was cleaning his paws when we pulled up on the street outside her new apartment. Head popped up, incessant meowing as we climbed the two flights, but I digress. ........


I think we have been partial empty nesters a few times before, but this time is for real. She has her own flat, she found it herself, and we will have to call her up to schedule time to see her.

In the last week, I realized I want to see her regularly so I suggested she could still come do her laundry here. Of course I gave her a mixed signal when I asked her if she wanted a small container of laundry detergent.

It has been a while since someone moved out permanently from our house. Chris moved out during college some time. That move out was not so clearly defined as this one. He was in college living in his frat, and stayed there after graduating, since his job was in Burlington, Vt.

So yesterday when I got back to the house, I vacuumed the cat hairs up from the carpet, cleaned out the front closet, mopped the kitchen floor and kept myself pretty busy.

I will miss having them both around. As much as I say I don't like cats, Shakes is different. He is more like a dog in that he greets you when you come in the front door, and wants cuddles, some times.



Bethany has been a joy to have around the house, in the snippets of her busy life that we have shared over the last four years since she went to college. She has cooked us lots of meals, organized the cabinets and fridge, and in general been a wonderful young adult with us. I am going to miss those snippets, and seeing her most every day. So it will be important to have "laundry" visits, and for me to have "Shakes" visits so I get my fix.

Yes, Virginia, we are empty nesters. Why then are we both thinking of getting a dog? HMMMM?

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Made in China - I am being silly and I know it

Ok, don't ask me what prompted this latest challenge. It could be our green sanctuary efforts at church. It could be that later this month, I am attending General Assembly in Charlotte NC, along with thousands of other Unitarian Universalists. It could be that I like a challenge, and maybe felt that I have not challenged myself enough lately. It could be that I was headed to Vermont, which has some great efforts at locally made and locally run businesses.

It started last Thursday when I went into Home Goods and tried to find something NOT "Made in China". It was nearly impossible. I went next door to TJ Maxx and had the same experience.

Just now I needed some home goods. Need is a strong word  since I realized during the shopping excursion, I can live without them. I was looking for coasters for under the couch legs so I can move it easier to hoover under it, a round rubber disc to cover the drain in the sink so I can use the sink as my mop bucket, Aleve for my inflamed tendon in my thumb and trash bags. The only one I could buy at "Bed, Bath and Beyond" NOT Made in China, was Aleve. It was made in Germany by Bayer. Even the trash bags are Made in China. Almost all the kitchen and bath items are made by OXO.

I went next door to Trader Joes and they don't carry trash bags. The clerk said they carry them next door to which I replied "They are made in china though".

At Coniston this weekend, I tried to buy a can opener because our one Made in China, broke. The one I got for $1.19 did not work so I returned it. I finally got one at an antique store, Made in the USA.

It must have been gradual but I wonder when we stopped making things domestically as a country?

My beloved pointed out that I might not be able to stick with this challenge (ever the optimist, NOT), and his attitude is that we even out the economy by buying from China. I mostly object to using fossil fuels to ship all of these products from China, or to ship food across the country for that matter.  I also am terrified about the economic situation between us and China.  Fear based on media blips, and lack of knowledge mostly.
The challenge is doomed for failure, but I am going to try. The couch may not have the coasters, and I might find a rubber disc at a yard sale that was made in the USA. Market Basket has trash bags made in the USA so they got my business tonight on my shopping excursion. 

Try this challenge yourself, and let me know the results!

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35 years later - a reunion

We spent this weekend at my 35th reunion at Middlebury College. We tend to hang out with some of the same folks that I hung out with during college AND I always have a nice conversation with someone that I never talked to in my 4 years there.

Bill McKibben spoke Saturday afternoon and helped charge me up even more than I already am about politicians and environmental issues. Chris Waddell spoke about climbing Kilimanjaro as a paraplegic.

The biggest change on campus are the new buildings and the repurposing of old buildings. It is a beautiful campus and it was a beautiful one when I went there.

Why do we go to reunions? Why don't others come?

Every 5 years, I leave wanting to see people who did not come and have never come back. This year, as in past, I have intentions to host a mini-reunion to get them to come to a smaller gathering, in case that is what is keeping them away. I don't need everyone to come back but I would love to see the ones that were part of our "clan".

Why is this year different? Maybe because of my retirement, I will have time to organize a mini-reunion. We will see. Check back with me in 5 years.


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