Half Full for sure

I am pretty sure I am a half full person. Recent evidence to this is all this rain we have been getting in New England. Twice today I left my office, went down in the elevator and did not realize that there was a torrential rainstorm going on until I reached the revolving door to the building. I can see outside from my office so it is not just that I could not see the outside. I just did not expect it to be raining. My response each time was, "so I will get a bit wet!" There was a gentleman at the door as I was leaving tonight during the second torrential rainstorm. He was aghast that I was even thinking about leaving to go to my car. So my clothes are pretty wet, but that is certainly not the end of the world.

Glass half full can actually be a problem. I don't see pot holes and step in them. I trust people, sometimes when I should not trust them. I expect people to receive messages the same way I do, and they don't.

I actually think this rain is going to stop some day, maybe even today. My supply list for building an ark is not started. "There must be a pony in here somewhere" is the tag line of a card I once received as the person was standing neck deep in a pile of pony #@$)*(#.

Explanation for "New Knees Please"

BEWARE whining alert . . . Lately, within the last month, I have been biking a lot. I use my Coniston bike up there, and B's bike in Lexington. Gradually I have been covering more ground each day and Monday I was feeling pretty good about my exercise routine. Bike riding 4-5 times a week, and yoga 2-3 times a week was feeling like a pretty good exercise routine when BAM! My "good" knee collapsed. I say "good" knee because this is the one that was operated on in 1985, when I tore ligaments dancing with my sister on my 30th birthday. So "good" in this case is "not" the one most recently operated on. The one I could trust, and did not have to favor. It did not just go BAM! I put my left foot on the pedal, was swinging my right foot over the seat when my iPOD cord caught on the seat, I panicked, swung my right foot back over the seat, placed it on the ground (in the wrong position apparently) and the next I knew, the bike was lying on top of me on the ground, because my "good" right knee collapsed.

Murg wonders why I don't go to the doctor. In 25 years of nursing bad knees, I know what they are going to say. Ice it, anti-inflammatory, and once the swelling goes down, come see us if there is still pain. Early on, I would go visit the doctor for these episodes. I often wonder what will happen if both knees decide to go at once.

This is all very discouraging because I want to be in an exercise routine, a regular one, and episodes like this derail me, delay me and force me to think about moderating my routine. My bike rides for now are out of the question as is the golf game planned for 10 days from now. Walking the dog, until the swelling goes down is out of the question.

The biggest mindset change for me, in the first few hours on the couch after this episode, was the realization that I have been dealing with bad knees for 25 years. 2 years ago my left knee was operated on and is the one I have been favoring for 2 years. For that episode I was literally walking back from town with Murg after a dinner in town. My left knee collapsed and I could put NO weight on it. He left me there in pain, on the sidewalk, while he ran back to get the car. That was a visit to the emergency room and knee surgery in November of that year. This happened a few more times before the surgery which a piece of my meniscus ended up on the wrong side of my knee cap, and my knee collapsed and I could put NO weight on it.

So, now my attention back on the right knee for now. Ice, rest, getting better every day.

This is not all bad, I can walk for exercise eventually, or swim, and probably bike and golf, just not this weekend, or today.

Leadership lessons Part II - "What is the Worst that could happen?"

Today at church E, the past board president gave a sermon on his lessons from the past 2 years as board president. One lesson he mentioned today is another one that has stuck with me. When you are about to do something, or are afraid of proceeding, ask yourself "What is the worst that could happen?" This question is one I use a lot coaching others. It often breaks a log jam in someone's decision making, or in their process around a complicated decision, or a tough personnel issue. I use this a lot in coaching others, but I am not sure I use it with myself. As an HR person, we tend to ask this during a reduction in force, or another difficult HR process.

I learned this technique first, from one of my great managers at Polaroid. I was about to go present to the President and his staff. I had never presented to that level before. H asked me "What is the worst that could happen?" I answered, "They would think I was stupid." H paused and then asked me "Has that ever happened to you before?" I was dumb founded, thought for a minute and then said "No!" He had confidence in me at that point that I did not have, but this simple technique allowed me to go ace the presentation to the Senior Staff.

E's reminder today was a good one. As I have said before "When the student is ready the teacher appears."

Leadership philosophy that has stuck with me

At breakfast with S this morning, we were talking about leadership training. On the 30 second drive back from that breakfast, I reflected on what has stuck with me for leadership concepts. I have taught a lot of these over the years, but when it comes down to it, only a few remain a part of my own philosophy.

The first one that I spout about all the time is one from Alfie Cohn. He believes that testing kids in school is stupid because you are testing them mid learning cycle. Not all kids learn at the same pace, so the test is mid-way for most of the class. Standardized tests are the same thing. I always told my kids that they were obsolete as soon as you 1) got into college 2) finished that class. Translated to the work environment with a Deming quality concept thrown in, you cannot distinguish performance for 85% of the population. So why do we spend so much time on merit increases, when you cannot distinguish the difference in performance? Pet peeve of mine for sure.

My most recent learning was about brain chemistry, the partial topic of a previous post. I must have used this concept to explain changing behavior, 100 times since that February workshop, as recently as yesterday in fact.

This is the obvious one, MBTI. I revisited a worksheet yesterday and these two comments about my personality jumped out from the page like cold water on my face to remind me of some opportunities for enlightenment: ENFP Stress Behavior - Keeps talking until you FEEL the same way as he/she does AND ENFP Resists Rules by - Relying on the force of personality to overcome laws of physics. I learn something every time I conduct a MBTI workshop. I use it daily to interact better with family and friends and workmates. I laugh at myself daily about my type.

The last one for this post is the book Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham. The best thing to do, is to focus on people's strengths and not try to fix their weaknesses. This one is so obvious, however, we are in the middle of performance reviews at work, and I am not sure our system is geared to focus on strengths as much as it is to have "developmental" opportunities.

OK, those 4 are the top of mind for me, today and many of them have been on my radar and in my daily language for at least a decade.

Keeping the fingers busy knitting

At our covenant group on Sunday our topic was relaxation. Sitting under a huge tree in the shade just outside the church in Burlington Vt was pretty relaxing until the band on Church St starting playing. Next time we are going to the Lake, waterfront to meet.

I realized during this meeting that I knit so I can concentrate. When I am knitting, I am relaxed. Rarely, are my fingers clenched when I am knitting.

I also realized that meditation is not meditative for me. It is stressful to stay absolutely quiet (the extrovert that I am). Yoga is meditative because I am doing something, but meditation is not. Someone at Star said "You should meditate"! "Nope, I shouldn't, unless I want to get more stressed." It probably works for some but not for me.

Give me a ball of yarn, some wooden needles and almost any situation, and I am relaxed. There is something that is so familiar about creating those stitches, and having something for my idle fingers to focus on which causes me to concentrate and to relax.

One member of our group talked about Genesis and the 7th day of Sabbath. We need to rest and relax. Knitting is that for me.

The ONLY bad thing about Star is . . .

The only bad thing about Star is the showers. They are few and far between and this week, there was just a trickle from the nozzle, not really enough to rinse. There were 3 of them, but none were satisfying.

I asked a lot of people at Star this week, "Why do you come? What brings you back? What first brought you?"

Many respondents said it was the people. The natural beauty was also mentioned a few times.

I pondered it myself this week, Why do I keep coming back? It is the people and the traditions. Where else can you spend an entire social hour talking about names of couples and whose name do you say first e.g. Bonnie and Clyde or Sally and Rodney. We came up with some hypotheses, but no conclusions. It was a silly conversation.

As I sat on East Rock last night at 12 midnight with about 30 others, I realized this is why I come back. Simple entertainment, the wonder of the world, laid out before your eyes, ears and nose. The fog horn on White Island and the sea gulls. Singing folk songs until you cannot keep your eyes open and falling into bed to the sounds of the teens on their last night staying up for the sun rise.

This is why I come back: the rocking chairs, lime rickeys, silly conversations, deep conversations, the tears, the laughter, early morning coffee, 10pm chapel, walking up the hill in silence carrying a lantern, the din of the dining hall, children's artwork, adult artwork, the 269 other shoalers, the silliness, the healing conversations, sharing, catching up on last year, planning other visits, soaking in the sunlight on the front porch and the LACK of: TV, news, cars, outside world

It is a shock to the system to be back on the mainland. As I sit at Coniston in my daze I have mentioned to a few people that it is like being jet lagged only star lagged.

After the first great shower in a week, I feel clean again, and touched again by the magic and spiritual aspect of Star.

It has been a wonderful few weeks, punctuated by my annual visit to Star. Back to work refreshed, and healed, and recharged.

It is Raining again!!!!

Ok, I am sort of getting it, that people are sick of the rain. It is 8:48 in the morning and it looks like twilight. I guess it is a good thing I had some sun in Salt Lake City, and I sure would not want to be on Star Island in this weather.

So my crankiness yesterday is partially explained by too much travel, too many things going on and not enough sleep in my own bed. Granted, these are all things I asked for, quilting, General Assembly and most importantly Star, BUT I have not even unpacked my bags from Vermont Quilt Festival and certainly have not even looked at GA materials. The pile is building in the corner of my bedroom.

Murg was clearing out his pile last night, but I fell asleep, which was really needed.

So as I grab an umbrella to go out with E on her last day at Intuit, I will miss her, I think maybe the rain is also affecting me. Please get it out of your system before our Star week. It does not look hopeful. Pack lots of warm clothes and jeans, not t-shirts and shorts. The last few years at Star, I have not even put on my long pants. A different year this year, I suppose. Just like you can never have a bad weekend, you can never have anything but a glorious week on Star.

this is my life some days, now I am laughing about it

Today I had a hair cut at noon, and had 2 errands to do, one post and one pre. The pre one was the preferred one, so I headed south only to discover the yarn shop does not open until noon and it was 11:35. So off to the dentist to get the darn receipt that my Health Spending Account admin desires.

On the trip, EVERY light turned yellow or red right before I got there and EVERY road had granny drivers or cement trucks in front of me. Because I had a noon deadline, there were so many obstacles.

I don't have PMS these days, coz I am far beyond that, but honestly I think I still have the hormonal swings associated with PMS. I feel irritable, and grouchy and grumpy. Halfway through the errands, I stopped blaming things that were beyond my control and calmed down.

As usual, I was trying to pack too much into my window of opportunity, and some days it works, some days it does not.

My hair got cut, AND I got back for the going away cake for someone leaving work.

Yarn store awaits another free block of time . . .