So cool to be in sync

Yesterday I was driving home and George called to check in to see whadsup with dinner plans. It was his birthday, he and Judy are in town and we were going out for a birthday dinner.

I had made a reservation just 5 minutes before for dinner and while on the phone he asked "What is up?"

"Not to worry, I just made a reservation." But being the ENFP that I am I did not give him the details of the restaurant, although I had described the place a few days before to him as a Belgian chef.

I heard his voice drop on the phone, and on his birthday and I felt bad but did not know why his voice had dropped.

When I got home 5 minutes later, he asked "Where are we going for dinner"

When I said Scutra, he jumped for joy. Unbeknownst to me, he had been searching on Zagat's for a restaturant within 5 miles of us, and he had found Scutra, and was just about the make reservations as well. His bottom lip only had to quiver for only a few minutes on his birthday.


It was just so cool to be in sync with him and Judy and to spend his 55th birthda with him. He had Judy have lived out of the country for 8 of the last 10 years, and we didn't get to spend many birthdays with them, but that is all changing as we all "converge on Vermont" as my lovely daughter says.


BTW his gift was a Mary Oliver book of poems with Wild Geese in it because that is my favorite poem. And try to get to Scutra. The food is wonderful, the ambiance is wonderful and the parking is challenging unless you have a Mini Cooper.

The Drowsy Chaperone

We just got back from this play and it really was good. I don't know why I was surprised but I was. The best part is that there was no intermission. The actor even said exactly why I do not like them "They break the flow, they take you out of the scene that you have been in.

This is the second season that we have gotten season tickets with Ted and Margaret to Broadway in Boston. We eat at the same Indian restaurant, in the theater district and in makes sure that we see them regularly.

So, yes we will continue for our third season, especially if they turn out to be as good as tonight.

If you can see it , do that quickly. I think it closes in Boston on May 4th.

Lark or Owl? Definitely a Lark

By 8:50am this morning I had:

• Got up at 6:05 am



• Made my coffee



• Got to work at 6:45 am, not because of stress but because this is where I want to be



• Cleaned up lots of stuff in email and on my desk



• Met with Sarah to start our book group on an HBR article on integrating all of the parts of your life, not just your work part, in development and goals.
  
• Designed with Sarah a Leadership Bench Development series



• Returned to work and saw the clock said 8:5o am

As I got out of my car I said "I am definitely a Lark!" Yes, out loud and to who ever in the parking lot cared.

On the other hand, at 10:30 pm at night it takes me 20 minutes to keep my eyelids open in order to read 2 pages of my current book.

Do Larks always marry Owls?

Ebenezer Frye

My grandfather taught us a song and always sang it during our family sings.

I just found on the web a reference to it and where it came from.

Nobody except maybe Daddy, could sing it like Grandpa.

Memories of these song fests are so wonderful. We would sit in a circle, Grandpa would play the banjo and there were certain songs that we could always sing; Ebenezer Frye, Tenting Tonight (Mom always started this one, and her and Daddy's voices were wonderfully harmonic) and then the patriotic ones, when depending on how much we had to drink, we would march around pretending to have flags in our hands, or sometimes, with a flag in our hand.

I never wanted these song fests to end. I wanted to learn more songs.

At Daddy's funeral, Eugene Childers and his band, played all of these songs, from the balcony as the people entered the church. All of Mom's kids and their spouses, were in a semi-circle in the entry way to the church. I carry this image around me with warm loving feelings.

Bikes - a journey

So I did something very stupid yesterday. I had left my bike at church on Monday and needed to get it back to the house, and Qammi needed a walk, so we walked over to the church, picked up the bike. I hand-walked the bike to the bike path, and once there decided to ride it with her running along side. It worked for the most part, and I had a couple of near misses that I learned from. I learned to not have my hand on the handle, with the leash in it, in case she chose to stray. I learned to watch for dogs that she might want to chase.

These near misses brought up vivid memories of my bike accidents, including the one when I was 8 or 9, and I realized this many years later, that it might not have been Fleagle who ran in front of my tire. It might have been me who was distracted being a Klutz. That accident I was taking the sandwiches and iced tea to the haying crew and Fleagle ran in front of my bike and I went head over heels. I had on Mom's yellow scarf, which I put over the gash in my head, and went to the closest house, which was about 1/4 mile away, to call Mom. Where we lived was 7 miles from a town of 200 people in the middle of the Rocky Mountains. The ranch was the Lazy EH ranch. I was about 1 mile from home, and I cannot remember whether I got a hold of Mom and she came to get me, or I walked home. I do remember vividly the blood on her scarf, and the butterfly bandages she put on my gash. Whenever I see that color yellow, I see it with blood on it. So maybe it was not Fleagle's fault, as I reflected yesterday on the 2 near misses and my other 2 accidents.

The second one was about 10 years ago. I was riding my bike home carrying a plastic bag with stuff in it. The bag went between the spokes of the front wheel, stopped the bike cold and I went head over heels again. My bike helmet had pieces of gravel in it, which is a testament to wearing helmets. I took it to the youth group to show them. I doubt if any of them wear helmets more frequently because of that but one can always hope. The other sad thing that happened as I was walking up our street, with blood dripping off my face, is that our elderly neighbor met me. He did not see the blood dripping off my face, but was in a panic himself since he was locked out of his house and needed to call his wife. Even with the trauma I had just been through I was taking care of people. I was not well developed enough to scream at him "Allen, look at my face. Shut up." Today I would say, "Allen, sorry I cannot help you right now, and go be nice to the women in your life." I am so glad to be married to a sensitive man who would notice the blood on my face.

Right after my bike accident, I got a new pair of roller blades. The old pair had brakes on both feet, but not the new pair. So as I went for my test run down our street, I braked BUT that was the foot with no brake, so I fell really really badly and scraped my leg. That was a bad time for accidents for me.

All of these, show my personality. I would step in pot holes all day long unless I had people to tell me where they are. I have also learned some caution from the accidents. I know not to have the leash connected to the handlebar, and to check which foot has the brake on it. I imagine I will be one of those 90 year old women, who falls and breaks her hip, because of a pot hole I have not experienced or seen yet.

Yes, as Qammi almost ran in front of my bike yesterday, I wondered if it was Fleagle who ran in front of my bike or me being a Klutz?

Sandra's Lodge

Again, you must hear once again that I work for a wonderful company, INTUIT.

We all get 32 hours, PAID, a year to go do social action projects.

Today in honor of Earth Day, 7 of us went to a shelter for women and children, and:

• raked and bagged leaves
• planted flowers
• planted trees
• spread 2 yards of bark mulch

As we were working the residents were walking in and out of the building. I greeted each one personally, and some were tentative in their return of a greeting. Some of the kids were very social and interacted and some were withdrawn and shy. Kind of like the world I guess.

So, their entry look a bit spruced up, it smells good from the bark mulch and hopefully we improved their lives a bit. I actually asked a couple if they wanted to help. None took me up on the offer. They are on a daily schedule like the rest of us. I asked the Executive Director to make sure that the plants get watered, and to ask the kids if they would collect more rocks for the tiny rock walls we made to stop the mulch from washing away when it rains.

And now, I am back at work, which I love, but it is very different.

A good Earth Day experience and lots of things to ponder.

Happy Patriots Day

This is one of my favorite holidays. That is strange, I know. Daddy's favorite was the 4th of July, over his birthday, over Thanksgiving etc.

Mostly this is my favorite since I moved to Lexington where we reenact the battle at the exact time that it was fought. I have only missed this once in 16 years, because we were away.

Our Sr. Youth Group sets up their booth right in front of our church and they sell coffee and donoughts starting at 4:00 am. (we had an interesting discussion at 5am, about the spelling and pronunciation of donuts).

We also had some interesting discussions last night as we set up the booth, which BTW has been around for at least 20 years. They want to repaint it or build another one. I think every group wants to repaint or build another one, but lack of inertia takes over and the next year we drag out the rickety frame from behind our boiler in the church. A new group each year, figures out how to set it up with very little guidance and a few markings on the actual structure. The tarp that goes over the frame is really gross, but it is also very endearing. I actually think we could replace the tarp and make the whole thing more aesthetic, BUT, is that why we are out there at 4am, to look aesthetic. Actually at 4am, nobody is paying attention to the tarp, because of darkness or last of caffeine. It is when the bloody British are strolling by 5 feet in front of the booth, on their way to Concord, having shown us who is in charge, that the tarp looks grotty. Maybe we should never change it for that very reason.

So by now, the whole structure has been put away for another year, tucked behind the boiler in the boiler room and next year, a different group of youth the Sunday before Patriot's Day, will drag it out, figure out how to assemble it, curse the lack of direction. They will stand under it once again, and serve caffeine and lard to that captive audience of viewers of the battle.

This year I watched from inside the church, out the balcony window. This is perfect for me, to not hear the shots, but it allowed me to declare once again to myself how evil and silly wars and battles are . . . and how sad them are in retrospect.

Virtual work - some learnings

On a subgroup at work we are exploring the whole idea of virtual work

There are 3 broad definitions of workers we slot into virtual work:


1.Distributed Workforce – work out of an Intuit site and spend some portion of their time working with peers, directs or manager across sites or with external partners to get work done.

2.Flex Location – employees who work regularly/frequently off-site part-time (e.g. at home, on airplanes, from hotels) or from some combination of locations during their day or week.

3.100% work-from-home or non-Intuit site – employees working remote all the time…never (or hardly ever) work at an Intuit location.

Once again, I realize what a great company I work for. I went to a NEHRA session on virtual work today, and I had to stop myself from saying, "We do that." too many times.

However, always learning I did absorb a few things:

• Shifting mindset of leaders is very important, and as soon as you show them the numbers they will jump on board
• The legal liabilities are just roadblocks, and can be overcome
• Need to think about career development and promotional opportunities for virtual workers
• Really important; not everyone can work virtual, and not every job can be virtual
• Communication to co-workers is really important
• Measure the business units, and publish who is NOT supportive

TTFN

Simplicity - less, less, less

As we pack our stuff to take up to Phelps Lane, there are certain things that will not be allowed into the new house. I am not going to take any unecessary appliances, like coffee grinders. I just ordered a hand grinder. When did we stop using hand ones to get electric ones? I actually have been using a wooden clothes hanger for drying my clothes instead of the dryer. They dry in 8 hours or less, so why do we need dryers. Rod does not know this, but will when he reads it here, but the dish washer up north is going to be sold on ebay. I have always hated dish washers; scrap the dishes, rinse them off, load the dish washer, unload the dish washer etc. Alternative, scrap, wash, dry, put away, in one cycle. DONE and put away The builder/current owner of our new house used a lot of green principles and in fact the new septic, (That he is having to install since the current one failed, wow are we lucky) will in all likelihood have green principles. More on that once we know what he installs. This cannot happen until after May 1st, since in South Hero you cannot use heavy equipment until after MUD season. So, nothing goes up unless it does not have an electrical cord, and unless we really need it. I want this to be a retreat so not too simple, but like Star Island, only what we really need. There might not be a TV although the house comes with 2 satellite dishes, one for broadband and one for TV. The only big problem from our house inspection, is a punky post on the south corner of the house. We may have to do some negotiations to get that paid for. An interesting "feature" of the house is a water drip so that the pipes do not freeze. Our first work weekend is going to be insulating the crawl space and caulking around all the windows and probably in between all of the outside and inside paneling. The inspector kept saying "this house is campy". Good thing that is what we were looking for. I am still very excited and hope is does fall apart because of the POST.

Next Step - Home Inspection

OK so right now, Rod is at 39 Phelps Lane in South Hero going through the home inspection. There will be a lot of pictures to post once he gets home tonight.

I talk to brother/real estate lawyer / Mike 2 night ago. Apparently, this is the phase where the *@^#^# hits the fan in home sales. Oh dear, the doom and gloom in me starts to panic and then the pollyanna takes over and says, not to worry. They will find things wrong, a good punch list, good stuff to know and very essential to have.

I have already booked weekends for people to visit the house. What is really good is that on 10 acres, Rod has a lot more room to escape when I have the house full every weekend we are up there. Maybe for his birthday, I will build him a tree house/cave. Our master bedroom on the second floor has an alcove that was going to be the sewing room, but maybe I should share it with him so he can "socially acceptably" be there when we have guests.

So we have been packing already to move stuff up June 1st. My only question is "Should we buy a second Settlers game for the house?"

Mindfulness interrupted

Today at yoga, I kicked over my cup of water. Learning - slide the cover over the opening . . .

However, for me is was a test in mindfulness. I peeked and found the paper towel dispenser in the room, thought of getting up to get some but it is one of those that has a motor. Not wanting the motor to disrupt the others, I looked at the puddle. Not too big and nothing in danger of being flooded, so let it go until the end of class. I did sneak a few other peeks, but each time, it was contained and some of it actually seeping away in a small crack in the floor.

Also during yoga I realized that the focus is never on anyone else during the class, execpt occasionally the instructor to check my position. The cracks on the feet of the person in front of me is just not a great focus.

This practice is helping with my mindfulness. I am moving between positions much more deliberately and slowly and yes and mindfully.

Choices - darn

So not often do I have 3 things that I really really really want to do. This Friday night is that situation.

Our Youth are giving an informal service at church on their NOLA experience, my friend Cammy has a poetry reading and I am traveling to Amherst to catch up with my old friend Beth. It is such a hard decision, and of course my natual inclination is to fit all 3 in, or at least 2.

I must be getting older because I am going to limit myself to one, I am traveling to Amherst.

Bethany has a surprise for me on Saturday and I am staying with Beth for the weekend. I have not seen her since Bethany was 2 or 3. Her son is the one who fell asleep in his dinner plate one night at Okemo on his second birthday.

That was the night that we were in paper thin walls, Bethany would not go to sleep so at 2:15am in the snow I was driving around Ludlow VT, to try to get her to sleep. That was also the night that Rod threw the bottle at me, and again, both of these are stories for another time

Friday night my heart will be with Cammy and the youth and I will be on the way to Beth's house.

BTW - Webs in Northampton is definitely on the agenda for this weekend, and Sunday is horse stuff, including watching Bethany in a jumping lesson

Teaching Blogging - what is a blog? if you never use a computer

We sent the link to my blog to our one nephew in England who has an email address, so they would see what we are up to.

Just imagine this, try to explain what a blog is to someone who has never booted up a computer, or sent or received an email.

How would you describe it? What terms would you use?

Apparently it was quite a process for Spenser to explain to his Mum what my blog is, so he printed it out and they are reading it right now.

7 X 11 = Happy Birthday Mummy

Mummy turned 77 today. Bethany cannot believe she is that old, and neither can I.

Our present this year was to have each kid, 7 of us, collect 11 pictures. George put them into a Picasa photo album and sent it off to her today. It was a really fun process to watch what each sib put into the album. It really showed the diversity of all of us.

It is so interesting how quickly technology is changing. This task, of assembling a photo album would have been a lot more difficult and time consuming with non-digital images, without scanners, etc.

On to ideas for 78 . . .

Canary in a Coal Mine

OK, this phrase has come up a few times in the last week.

I have managed to reorient how I view myself. Rather than say to myself, that "I am too sensitive" or "You should not feel that way" this week I realize that I am the title of this post.

It has been made obvious over time, that I can feel emotions in a group of people. I can walk into a room, and feel what is going on. My work fortunately calls for these skills. I just assume that everyone can do this, since it comes so naturally to me, BUT they cannot.

After a few experiences at work recently dealing with people with negative emotional intelligence, I realize my gift.

So, it came up around stuff going on at church. It comes up at work, among family and in most parts of my life. I feel emotions, tensions, dynamics etc well before the critical mass.

Up until now I have viewed it as negative, but lately I see it as a gift.

Rather than being too sensitive, I am the canary in the coal mine. I have a job to do, and it is an important one.

TTFN