COVID 19 Learnings

Bucket List Jar

It has been over a year since I wrote a blog post since most of my "ramblings" are now on Facebook. However, these times call for extreme measures.

Someone said to keep a journal during this time to show your future self what you went through and what you were thinking.  My beloved said "Tell them to go to your Facebook".

THINGS THAT ARE GREAT ABOUT THIS TIME:

• A daily 7 pm phone call with family.  2 of my siblings' families and both of our progeny and their family are regular attendants and we invite special guests.
• Connecting with other family in Austria - we visited them in September 2019 and Zoom calls are bringing us closer to them that was thought possible
• We are in the germ pool with our son daughter-in-law and granddaughter so we have her at least once a week
• After that Zoom call we go for a walk and have a streak going of over a month.  Burlington has so many wonderful neighborhoods that we are taking the time to explore
• We are now not eating take-out at all.  For a while we were supporting our local restaurants AND once it gets safer out there we will continue to eat out way more than we eat in
• In our 978 sq feet of condo living, we have not killed each other and have a regular belly laugh daily.  The latest was Murg thinking I had gone to the dark side creating a shopping list which was actually from Rise and Shine Dairy.  I don't even have a grocery shopping list in normal times.
• Connections to our communities:  Our UU Church has regular opportunities to Zoom with other congregants, our YMCA swimming group meets for coffee once a week, Our Star Island conference meets once a week for social hour, and the family ZOOM
• The longer the isolation goes on the more I realize what I can do without and what I crave.  We have a bucket list jar of things we cannot do now that we will do when this is over.  Our granddaughter put "Get Ice Cream" into the jar.  I put go on our trip schedule in February 2021 to Israel

Map of Burlington and the Yellow is where we have walked

Rodney and Rudolf in Austria

AND THINGS THAT SUCK:

• I have been bracing myself to lose someone I knew pretty well and last Saturday night a member of our UU Congregation died.  This was the first time I cried uncontrollably.  It takes a lot of energy to hold it together and not feel what is going on.  
• No hugs except from my Beloved.  I now realize how many hugs I give and receive during my day.  
• The word uncertainty has become such a part of our language.  A member of our family's teen age son asks his Mom, "When will this be over?" and she has to say "I don't know, nobody knows"
• Realizing what we have done to our environment.  This is a curse and a blessing.  We can see what we have done, and with any luck we will not go back to some of that and will be sane in how we treat Mother Earth.  Do we have the resolve to do this?  I am not hopeful.
• The USA's reputation - on our Austrian call, one very honest woman does not hold anything back and just asks "Why do you still have him in charge?"  I cannot answer that question and am totally embarrassed by #45.  What are we doing to our reputation and to the world we are leaving our grandchildren?
• On our evening walks, we walk by small businesses, and I say "They won't survive, they won't survive!"  I fear this is sending us into a very deep depression not experienced since 1929.  We will be OK but my heart breaks for those who were struggling before COVID19 and will exponentially be worse off now
• Distraction and lack of focus - sometimes in a manic way I get things done AND some days I wonder what I did all day.  We have a monthly small group and for preparation we read 8 pages of content.  I have read 1/2 a page for our meeting tomorrow.  I cannot concentrate on it.  Nothing sinks in when I read the words.  It has taken me 10 days to read a very engaging mystery novel by Louise Penny.

Those are Sarah's initial ramblings about this strange time.  Feel free to correct me in grammar son Chris and his friend Augie ....................

Murg thought I had gone to the dark side

On the Move again

It is September and clearly this is the time of year when we re-examine our life and make BIG decisions. When we bought Coniston 8+ years ago we thought about moving to VT permanently and at the time we were both working, so job hunting did not make sense.  We also realized in these 8 years that Coniston is wonderful and we will always own it but we want to live in a more urban environment.

With the move a year ago to Somerville we accomplished the urban thing, and we lost what we had in Lexington which was to be able to walk to church. Since our Unitarian Universalist faith is such a part of our lives this is important.  We talked a lot about which UU church to attend and settled on one and we are starting to plug in there......

AND then

We talked about where we will end up ultimately and we both decided it is Burlington VT.  They have a vibrant church so why don't we look for a small condo in down town Burlington and still have Coniston 30 minutes away?  Additionally we have a granddaughter and her family near and 4 of my brothers and their spouses/partners.  Recently those relationships have become very important to both of us.  It was actually Rod's idea to look in Burlington since he views my family as his family at this point.

It seems perfect timing, since we have done the downsizing thing and we can rent Somerville and actually make some money until we decided to sell it.

We have a purchase and sale signed with a September 30th closing date, a small condo with a sunset view over Lake Champlain.  As I write this I count my blessings that my family and siblings (4 out of 6) will be closer and that we will wake up every morning in the state that I call home having lived here from age 11-22.  We are so lucky to have options, and to have this magnet pulling us north. Oh, and September 30th is Zuzu's third birthday and the anniversary of Rod's retirement so big things happen that day!

Come visit, and since it is a one bedroom, you can stay at Coniston or the Hilton Garden Inn next door!

We have also committed to returning to Boston once a month for me to attend my book group, continue visiting someone at MCI Framingham, and catching up with friends.  We are leaving close friends AND we hope they will make the trek north to visit as many of them already have in their annual pilgrimages to Coniston!

Here is a link to the condo:

https://www.coldwellbankerhomes.com/new-england/161-st-paul-street/pid_14114410/
Sally and Rodney

General Assembly - 2016 - Columbus - a chance encounter

The Orlando UU Congregation at the front of the hall

I always come back from our General Assembly with an incredible mixture of emotions and it takes me a few days to untangle those emotions.  Still working on the untangling so in the meantime I figured I would write about one of our chance encounters.

At the beginning of General Assembly there is a banner parade when congregations walk into the big conference center carrying their banners.  This year, before the banner parade started the congregation from Orlando stood at the front of the big hall holding their banner, in their purple shirts that had been made in Orlando after the terrible shooting in the Pulse nightclub just two weeks earlier.

The shirts were striking and colorful.  As we returned to the hotel later that night I spotted 3 women in their Orlando shirts and stopped to tell them how sorry I was.  We talked to them for about 20 minutes as they told us of some of the events that had happened after the shooting.  They gave us each a ORLANDOUNITED bracelet and sought us out the next day to give us a sticker.  We took a picture with them and they took our picture.

We connected with them for the rest of General Assembly as they took action, authored an Action of Immediate Witness (AIW) on gun control, and marshaled this through our somewhat messy democratic process.  The near 1000 delegates voted to approve their Action of Immediate Witness on our last day.  I can only imagine what they would have felt like if we had not voted to approve it.  Voting on these AIWs is how we as a denomination make statements on issues that are pressing and cannot wait the 3-4 years of study and discussion that our Congregational Study Action Issues (CSAI) take.

Orlando congregant speaking to the Action of Immediate Witness

This is why I travel most years to our General Assembly.  To educate myself about social justice issues, to see what is going on in our denomination and to have the opportunity to have these chance encounters which change my life forever.  That quick chance encounter on our first evening set the tone for the rest of the General Assembly conference.  Regina, Kimberly and Denise from our Orlando congregation became fast friends because we all opened our hearts to each other, and were willing to have a conversation at 10:30 after a long day.  We all shed a lot of tears and shared some stories and laughter too.  Those connections between people are what form my theology and renew my faith in this troubled and troubling world.

First Parish UU in Arlington MA's banner on the screen

My Summer Service at First Parish today - July 15, 2012

Below is the text of my summer service given at First Parish Lexington on July 15, 2012.  My altar looked like this:

Opening words

I knew this would happen that I would change my sermon slightly or hugely on Star.  I signed up for this summer sermon slot for this very reason.  We just spent a wonderful week on our beloved Star Island, where I first discovered that I have spirituality and where I have returned for the last 18 summers, to renew myself, to dive deeper into my spirituality and to spend time contemplating what is important in my life, our lives.  Please join me today on this journey during our time together.

Sally holds up picture that Joni Lipton gave them and Reads:

If once you have slept on an island

You'll never be quite the same

You may look as you looked the

Day before & go by the same old name

You may bustle about the street or shop

You may sit at home and ponder

But you'll see blue water & wheeling gulls

Wherever you may wander

You may chat with your neighbors of this and that

And close to your fire keep

But you'll hear ship whistle & lighthouse bell

And tides beat through your sleep

Oh you won't know why & can't say how

Such change upon you came

But once you have slept

On an island

You will never be

Quite the same.

Rodney Reads:

What I loved in the beginning, I think, was mostly myself.

Never mind that I had to, since somebody had to.

That was many years ago.

Since then I have gone out from my confinements,

through with difficulty.

I mean the ones that thought to rule my heart.

I cast them out, I put them on the mush pile.

They will be nourishment somehow (everything is nourishment

somehow or another).

And I have become the child of the clouds, and of hope.

I have become the friend of the enemy, whoever that is.

I have become older and, cherishing what I have learned,

I have become younger.

And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know?

Love yourself.  Then forget it.  Then, love the world.

~ Mary Oliver ~

Grey Hymnal 298

Wake now my senses

Wake now my senses and hear the earth call

feel the deep power of being in all

Keep with the web of creation your vow

giving, receiving as love shows us how

Wake now my reason reach out to the new

join with each pilgrim who quests for the true

Honor the beauty and wisdom of time

suffer thy limit and praise the sublime

Wake now compassion, give heed to the cry

voices of suffering fill the wide sky

Take as your neighbor both stranger and friend

praying and striving their hardship to end

Wake now my conscience with justice thy guide

join with all people whose rights are denied

Take not for granted a privileged place

God's love embraces the whole human race

Start of Homily

When I was asked by Peter to do a summer service I immediately replied yes, and when he asked me to pick one of the themes from this year I jumped on stewardship.  You might not know but our chalice circles here at First Parish follow the monthly sermon topics and I found that as an individual I grew the most during our chalice circle's stewardship session.  That is why I chose to tackle it.  Before I tell you my thoughts I would be interested in how you would complete this sentence in 10 words or less, Stewardship is ...

I had drafted my homily 2 weeks ago, however, an incident which happened 10 days ago caused my sermon to take a 90 degree turn.  My personality type is one which allows me to connect disparate thoughts and make a casserole out of these disparate thoughts, and a pretty good casserole.  What it means for this morning is that I will loosely connect this experience of 10 days ago with the title of stewardship.  Hang with me, this will be a circuitous journey and we will get to the end and you might understand a bit about how I view stewardship.

A brief bit of history, while at General Assembly this year, I attended the vigil at Sheriff Joe Arpaio's tent city which is a tent city, a detention center for undocumented immigrants in Maricopa County in Phoenix, Arizona.  Me and 3000 other yellow-shirted Unitarian Universalists stood on the side of love, witnessed with the immigrant rights partners and became allies. For those of you who do not know about Joe Arpaio, google him, ARPAIO.   He prides himself on being the toughest sheriff in the US.  Conditions for the undocumented immigrants in his tent city are inhumane at best.  120 degrees in the middle of the desert, in a tent because the cells are full, 2 meals a day, no free access to water, pink underwear and socks, (so they don't sell them on the outside).  The most distressing testimonial I heard at one of our plenary sessions, was from a woman who had been detained in the tent city, and was handcuffed to the bed as she gave birth to her child.  She was talking to us while holding that child.  The vigil was very moving! You can read more details about it in my blog, sally-alwaysaskingwhy.blogspot.com which is listed at the bottom of your order of service.

Last Friday, Friday the 6th of July, before I left for Star Island I went to Waltham to tutor my learner who is a 40 year old woman from Guatemala with a husband and 2 children.  I tutor her through an agency in Waltham called WATCH, which provides education and support for immigrant families in Waltham.  A handful of First Parishioners tutor at WATCH.  I am referring to her as a learner and not using her name to protect her. 

She had been distant for a few weeks and did not want to meet.   She finally agreed to meet.  I asked "How are you?"  and with tears in her eyes she said "ICE agents took my brother 3 weeks ago.".  ICE stands for immigration and customs enforcement.  Needless to say whatever we were going to do for that hour was pushed aside.  She told me his story, her brother has been here for 27 years, married to a Canadian citizen who is in the process of applying for her green card.  He has a 21 year old, an 18 year old and an 8 year old.  The 21 year old is an American citizen, and applied to sponsor his father, my learner's brother, for citizenship.  The cynic in me says this is how they got his address, from the application.  He was taken at 6am in front of his 8 year old and is in Plymouth Massachusetts in a prison right now. 

She also told me about 4 others in their community who have been taken in the last month.  They were all arrested for doubtful offenses like scratching a car that was across a parking lot from where he was making a phone call on his cell phone.  Another one was arrested for trespassing by standing in the parking lot of a neighboring business.  Behavior like Joe Arpaio's is happening in our back yard, one town away.  Somehow when it is happening in Phoenix, even though I went to the vigil, it seemed unreal, or surreal.  However, when it is happening 2 blocks from the Waltham Library, which is where she and I meet every week, it brought it home to me, literally.  In the past year she has become my friend and I get mad when friends get treated unfairly and live in fear.  She is afraid that she and her husband will be taken in front of their 11 year old son and 7 year old daughter and they have lived in the US for 19 years.  She did not know whether to tell me since she is so fearful and doesn't know who to trust.  We gained trust with each other.  I encouraged her to ask for help at WATCH, and told her I would ask around to see if there are resources available for her and other undocumented immigrants.

If you know me at all you know that I have passion, and I get angry when things are not right or fair.  What we have here is a broken immigration policy and ICE agents who are implementing it.  Someone on Star kept reminding me that this is an election year.  That does not make this right.  My Facebook post read last Friday: "Someone will be sorry they poked this sleeping lioness!". What my learner said during our hour together is "we are not criminals, we are hardworking people.  This is not freedom I heard about before I came here.". What I said is "yes, you are a hard worker.  You, meaning her community, you mow our lawns, clean our houses and take care of elderly in our nursing homes."  BTW, Jobs that many Americans would not/do not do.

The title of my blog post right after I left her was "don't know whether I am more SAD or MAD right now." 

So how does this tie into stewardship.  For me stewardship is being a steward with my money, time and energy.  It means pushing forward on an issue that I feel passionate about.  It means pouring my money and time into someone or something that needs my money and time.

My husband Rodney and I in the last few years have narrowed the number of organizations to which we donate large amounts of money.  We give small amounts to our alma maters, we always give at GA to the local organization, we give a 20 bill when the congregation gives the plate away once a month.  Our two large donation receivers are First Parish and Star Island.  Unfortunately these are both institutions which spend large amounts of capital to keep their old wooden buildings open and safe.  Why do we give to these two? The short answer is that they are in line with our values, and they feed us spiritually, and they are our intentional community.

It has taken almost 20 years of attendance at both First Parish Lexington and Star Island for us to narrow our donations down to these two, and for me to figure out in my gut why.  Some of it has to do with aging and realizing my mortality.  Some of it is that I want these institutions to be around for my grandchildren and my community.  The biggest part is community though.  Where do I turn when I have a joy or sorrow?  Where do people know me well and I know them well, and we really care about each other?  What do I want to be around in 100 years, and who needs my support and stewardship?  We have to have a community like this to feed each other so we can go stand at a vigil, or visit immigrants in prison or work tirelessly to change legislation and therefore erase implementation of broken policies.

Financial stewardship is one part, but helping hands and loving hearts and minds is another.  I don't know about you but some days, the number of people who need my financial support and helping hands is overwhelming.  Especially going to General Assembly, where there are so many people doing so many good things, I want to try to do it all.  But, I know focus is essential.

For First Parish, I have been pretty involved since the day I stepped across the threshold.  Why? Because the organization needs volunteers, and I want to be involved.  We are healthy pledgers and we give our hands and hearts to this loving community, we participate in the stewardship of the congregation.

Star Island also needs my help.  I am in my fourth year of service on the Star Island Board.  I bring skills which the Board needs.  It is a heavy fiduciary responsibility to serve on this board.  In the recession it is touch and go whether we can fill the beds, keep the wooden structure up to code and pay the bills.  Kind of like here except here we fill the pews instead of beds.  We recently gave a healthy donation to a capital campaign and every year donates to the Star island annual program fund.

Where do the tent city vigil, Joe Arpaio and my learner fit in?  I am prepared to work for immigrant rights, to stand on the side of love with migrants and their families.  My stewardship will include making the United States a fairer place for immigrants.  Within an hour of leaving her that Friday I called up two people who might know immigration lawyers I could talk to about this, and one who I could send my learner to.  Cindy sent me a link to UU Mass Action for follow up opportunities from GA.  At GA upon hearing the woman speak who had her child in prison, we gave $1000 on the spot to a partner organization who is helping undocumented immigrants with their rights.

I won't probably add a third organization to First Parish Lexington and Star but I might if I think it would help.  I just might become a steward of another needy important organization and one I have passion for.  I just might because as someone at Star said, about his donation to the Star Island annual program fund, you have to give until it hurts.  May it be so.

Our prayer this morning will be sung, and will be slower than we usually sing it, and will be sung through twice

Spirit of Life - Prayer

Spirit of life come unto me

Sing in my heart all the stirrings of compassion

Blow in the wind rise in the sea

Move in the hand giving life the of justice

Roots hold me close wings set me free

Spirit of life come to me come to me

Participation - Bethany Lowe in ten words or less how do you steward First Parish?

1020 Teal “Singing the Journey”  Woyaya

Benediction

Two hours after I left my learner I texted her (((hugs))).  Within two minutes she texted back, "thank you my best friend".  I burst our crying with sadness and anger.  Sometimes to be a steward in a community it is as simple as texting hugs.  As you leave the service think about who you might send hugs to today.  I ask you to think about your stewardship and how it has evolved.  The world needs our hands and hearts in addition to our money.

Doctrine of Discovery and General Assembly

When we agreed to go to Phoenix, for General Assembly, we also agreed to do more acting on Justice and less business. However, our partners I Phoenix immediately asked us to learn more about the Doctrine of Discovery and eventually repudiate it. Our GA delegates to repudiate it last Sunday. Yeah!

http://www.uua.org/ga/2012/189502.shtml

I knew next to nothing before a week ago, about the Doctrine of Discovery. Shame on me as a delegate I did not explore it prior to traveling to Phoenix. Closely connected to this is a UN Declaration on the rights of Indigenous People, UNDRIP. I could encourage us to learn as much as possible about both of these documents.

As I understand it, the DOD has been in place for thousands of years. At its core, a country conquers another country and assume ownership of the land, and then control the indigenous peoples who were already there. It is what we did to the American Indians when Columbus arrived.

The American Indian partners were emphatic that we pass the responsive resolution repudiating the DOD and pushing the US to sign and implement the UNDRIP. Yes the acronym is DRIP. We are one of 4 countries who have not yet signed the Declaration. Does this sound familiar, the relationship and the lack of action on the part of the US with the UN? As long as I am using acronyms WTF!

SO last week, I read about the DOD and I got a copy of the UNDRIP on my ipad and read that during our discussion. I went to two great sessions where one of our partners, Tupac Acosta, an American Indian, spoke passionately about the DOD, the UNDRIP and how important our vote is.

There are not thousands of readers of my blog but those of you who get this far, might GOOGLE these two documents if you do not already know about them. This is important work our denomination is doing!

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Location:Doctrine of Discovery at General Assembly

Tent City Vigil at GA in PHX- standing on the side of love

We came to act and witness and that we did. Last night we had a permit for 2000 of us to hold a vigil just outside Sheriff Joe Apraio's tent city. This is where undocumented immigrants are held until their trials. Sheriff Joe closed the tent city to visitors (their families) when he knew we were coming.

Earlier in the day during our plenary session we heard first hand accounts of families fractured by this inhumane treatment. There was not a dry eye in the hall of 3000+ as the two young women spoke, with their children in their arms.

20 busses making round trips took us to the site. We had been warned that there would be a counter protest, and they would be carrying guns, legally.

We arrived in the middle pack of the people being dropped off. A team of WITNESS folks shepherded us by the counter protesters to the site where we would hold the vigil. We were encouraged to drink lots of water in the 100 degree evening temperatures. People were always shoving a bottle of cold water toward you.

When we got off the bus, and saw the counter protesters, all of the bus loads sang, "when I breath in, I breath in peace, when I breath out I breath out love". We know this song well, and we sang it impromptu on the bus ride there, and it is well ingrained in our psyches, to remember when we are anxious.

We sang familiar songs, we shouted hoping the detainees could hear us and we practiced non-violence and we stood on the side of love.

We felt safe as more and more bus loads arrived, and the Phoenix police force were there in hundreds. Joe and his sheriff department stood near the entrance, and their numbers also grew by the ones.

People arrived from 8-9:30 and the last ones arrived back at the convention center after midnight.

When we got back to the convention center, a Chaplain got on our bus, encouraged us to drink more water, and made us all aware that Chaplains would be available that evening. A group, who had stayed back at the convention center made an archway holding of candles as we disembarked and sang soothing hymns to us as we made our way "home".

I have been a part of peaceful vigils before however, none this large. I was afraid for only a few moments, when I first saw the counter protesters, and when we were instructed to walk in twos, in the middle of the road.

When I felt overheated and thirsty I only had to remember the detainees, and what they experience 365/24/7. I took the water because I need to stay healthy to keep up our fight against this intolerable treatment of human beings.

This morning one of our partners from Phoenix, spoke during a worship and thanked us for witnessing with them. He was brought to tears, as he thanked us. He was blown away by our numbers, and he was changed profoundly by the expression of support he felt, as were we changed by their stories. He lives this every day in his work, while we return to carry the flame back to our congregations.

We came to Phoenix for Justice GA, to act and not just talk and we did just that. I will decide in the next few weeks what to do next. I have never been so ready to write President Obama a letter. That letter is marinating in my mind as we speak. In my dream, or rather nightmare, I am having a conversation with Sheriff Joe, and in a mode of inquiry I am asking him, "What were you thinking?" or "How can you look at yourself in the mirror?"

My wise daughter helps me get over being angry at him and to realize that he is a victim of our immigration laws and local power. Yes, I get that, but with my UU values I can not imagine treating anyone or anything as cruelly as detainees are treated in Tent City.

This vigil has given me much to think about. My heart is heavy as images of young women and men with fractured families, are deeply embedded in my mind. This story of inhumane treatment is repeated every minute all over the world. There is a lot of work to do, to Stand on the side of Love.


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Progress is slow, but there is progress

They have Visitor parking spots.  We were impressed

As part of our visit to the Research Triangle Park, NC this weekend, we visited UUFR. Tomorrow, is a vote in North Carolina to state that marriage is defined as between one man and one woman. The UU congregation had lots activities around defeating Amendment 1. Phone banks, rides to the polls, lawn signs and tee shirts worn by members of the congregation. It was interesting that the signs we saw and the newspaper articles were all against Amendment 1.


The Quilt for UU Fellowship of Raleigh as you enter the Sanctuary

Attending the UU Fellowship of Raleigh and being among that spirit brought many memories of almost a decade ago now, when we in Massachusetts were in the middle of this kind of social action. I am so proud of being a resident of Massachusetts and for the work we did to legalize gay marriage. Standing on the side of love, we were the first state to legalize gay marriage.
But, we still have work to do, as we witnessed on Sunday. The members of that congregation are so hopeful, but skeptical and are fighting an uphill battle tomorrow.

Hopefully our children's children will look back on this time, as we look back on the sixties and praise our efforts. I can envision a time when all people who love each other can legally marry, and when there is not discrimination based on sexual preference or identity.

Love is being sent to our fellow UU congregations in NC for tomorrow as we stand on the side of Love.

I am aware that not all readers of my blog will agree with my politics. We live in a country where differences of opinion can exist, and I am proud to be an American for that reason.
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Great idea for a major birthday

My Mom turned 80 last Saturday. A sister-in-law's family celebrated her Mom's 80th the month before and did a really neat present. They also have a huge family so they collected 80 memories and put them in a jar for the Mom to take out one a day and read.

We recreated the idea with a few switches. Mom and Charlie are on a cruise, and since we did not plan ahead, we have to electronically get it to the ship. We did collect 80 and we did get it delivered to her on the boat by her birthday. We did not tell Mom to only read one a day. That would be really hard to do!

I don't know about you, but I don't really NEED anything. This idea to collect memories might be nice for other than major birthdays. What if yearly on a birthday we remembered that person by sharing a memory?

The interesting thing about my siblings was the different memories the older kids had from the younger kids. It is also interesting to see how we remembered the same thing differently. There were a few duplicate memories.

I would have liked to be with Mom on her special day but I was there with her by email and by having sent the memories along. I also had memories of Dad come up during the collection. I wish I had been able to send them to him while he was alive.

In the Unitarian Universalist tradition we have memorial services, and have a part of the service where stories are told about the deceased. I think it is a shame to wait until someone has died to tell the stories and relate memories. May there be a few more major birthdays, that we can send Mom more memories.

It is only one floor away

Yesterday at church, the main floor bathroom was occupied so I went downstairs to use that one and as I walked down the stairs, I realized that I had not been downstairs for a while. I used to go every Sunday when I did youth group, but now that I am not involved with RE (Religious Education), I don't go as frequently. I could also sense that I am getting disconnected from the children and youth in the Church by not going "downstairs". I vowed that I could never get disconnected from the youth in the church and become one of those old fogies who complains about them and their behavior.

Intergenerational interaction are a challenge for any group, and especially our church. We try to raise awareness, by intentionally scheduling activities that get the generations to "play" and "work" together. As an aside the Burlington VT UU church has social hour separate for adults and those involved in RE. This seemed really strange when I noticed this because it really separates youth, children and the possible adults relationships they might be developing when a young person runs, and almost knocks down the 101 year old octogenarian, and the "it takes a community" intervention happens by that loving adult, not always their parent or guardian. In the case of Burlington UU, they have 2 services and there is no place to accommodate all the people who want to be social during social hour.

What I thought yesterday is our challenge at work to get the 6th floor and 7th floor to interact, or even the North side 6th floor and South side 6th floor to interact (they are separated by the kitchenette). We schedule lunches, lectures, social events, and we are still inclined to hang with our familiar buddies. We often discuss this at our leadership meetings, that many employees in different Business Units on the site could share work information and end up helping and supporting each other on work projects, because they are working on the same technology.

There has to be a reason to go to the North side of the floor rather than just wandering over, and there has to be a reason to go "downstairs" at Church rather than to use the bathroom. How have you helped groups, who seem so separate, realize the advantage of reaching out across that boundary of a floor or a kitchenette? Do you have a similar story to my floor kitchenette one?

Blogging live from General Assembly - NOT

OK, it is has been a long 4 days and lot has happened. Democracy in action, a couple of close votes, which actually had to be counted and a group of over 1200 was split by only 13 votes. YIKES.

We had two candidates for presidency of our Denomination, and there are 1/2 of the participants very happy, and the other 1/2 sad and disappointed END OF TRYING TO LIVE BLOG

So, I tried to live blog but instead had to do my REAL job of reporting on the Plenary session.

We had many more responsive resolutions this year, than I ever remember. The pot was stirred around our by-laws and being able to change certain sections of them. UUs love to weigh in when they don't feel heard and that certainly happened.

I was commenting last night that this year General Assembly was different because 1) there was an election with 2 strong candidates 2) the Statement of Conscience on Peacemaking did not pass, and was sent back to be re-written 3) there was a very close vote, split by 13 or 17 votes, but a very small number, on the by-law amendment.

This left many people sad and disappointed, and other happy and elated, but all in all, that is what democracy is all about.

Tired and happy to have gone to GA

Busy times and fun trips

This time of year always gets busy. This weekend we are in Nevada at a deGanahl/Russell family reunion. These are the cousins that we grew up with on the Lazy EH Ranch in Colorado. I wish more of us could get there, but whoever is there is exactly who should be there I guess. We have another opportunity for a reunion in August, when my cousin Nancy's son Galen is getting married, so that means another trip to Colorado.

In June we are off to Salt Lake City for General Assembly, Star in July, England in September to celebrate M's 70th birthday and hopefully Thailand to visit B for Christmas. In looking at a map, we are pretty much halfway around the world when we get to Thailand.

There are times in our lives when we are busier than others, but it feels like we are ramping up for a busy few months. Not that I am complaining, coz it is all good stuff.

Counting blessings - and Gay marriage

As each news article comes out about more lay-offs, more foreclosures, blah blah blah, I realize once again how lucky we are.

Yesterday in the church service, a couple renewed their vows in front of the congregation. Gary also asked people in committed relationships to stand up starting with 50 years, 40 years, 30 years, 20 years, 10 years. It was pretty wonderful to see the number who stood up in each category.

The president of the congregation gave a moving testimonial about moving from Oregon to Vermont because of civil unions. Vermont is in the midst of trying to up their ante to legitimizing Gay Marriage. I spoke with a lesbian couple during social hour, and asked what I could do. Write to my South Hero legislator and write to the governor. I can do both of those.

I always do this, but at the service I thought about recently divorced or those who are not in a relationship.

I don't always think I deserve to be this fortunate or this happy. I am waiting for the other shoe to fall all the time. In an attempt to be mindful, today I am counting my blessings and putting some energy into Vermont's gay marriage journey

Happy Patriots Day

This is one of my favorite holidays. That is strange, I know. Daddy's favorite was the 4th of July, over his birthday, over Thanksgiving etc.

Mostly this is my favorite since I moved to Lexington where we reenact the battle at the exact time that it was fought. I have only missed this once in 16 years, because we were away.

Our Sr. Youth Group sets up their booth right in front of our church and they sell coffee and donoughts starting at 4:00 am. (we had an interesting discussion at 5am, about the spelling and pronunciation of donuts).

We also had some interesting discussions last night as we set up the booth, which BTW has been around for at least 20 years. They want to repaint it or build another one. I think every group wants to repaint or build another one, but lack of inertia takes over and the next year we drag out the rickety frame from behind our boiler in the church. A new group each year, figures out how to set it up with very little guidance and a few markings on the actual structure. The tarp that goes over the frame is really gross, but it is also very endearing. I actually think we could replace the tarp and make the whole thing more aesthetic, BUT, is that why we are out there at 4am, to look aesthetic. Actually at 4am, nobody is paying attention to the tarp, because of darkness or last of caffeine. It is when the bloody British are strolling by 5 feet in front of the booth, on their way to Concord, having shown us who is in charge, that the tarp looks grotty. Maybe we should never change it for that very reason.

So by now, the whole structure has been put away for another year, tucked behind the boiler in the boiler room and next year, a different group of youth the Sunday before Patriot's Day, will drag it out, figure out how to assemble it, curse the lack of direction. They will stand under it once again, and serve caffeine and lard to that captive audience of viewers of the battle.

This year I watched from inside the church, out the balcony window. This is perfect for me, to not hear the shots, but it allowed me to declare once again to myself how evil and silly wars and battles are . . . and how sad them are in retrospect.

Off to NOLA

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, we leave for New Orleans. 19 youth and 9 adults taveling together to work through Operation Nehemiah. After the craziness of the last week of work for me, I am looking forward to a different kind of work for a week. I expect to be physically and emotionally challenged. I expect to laugh and cry. I know at the end of a week spent with these special people, that we will have created an experience and a community, that others will not understand.

Talking with my Mom today, I described what my latest "retirement" job is. I want to get red cross trained, and then sign up and travel to different parts of the world, when there are disasters. Hopefully they can use my skills.

So for the next week, think of us down in NOLA. I am sure there will be lots to blog about when we get back.

My big question, should I bring my knitting? I would never go on a trip without it, in olden days, but I am looking at every object as I pack and asking "Will I really use it?" So, will I really have time to knit? I have a book for the plane, I have a journal to write in, tiny colored pencils to draw mandelas, a new card game from my Valentine, FLUXX. It will be a last minute decision . . .

Women's Rally a Success

Damn, I just lost my post . . .

Here I go again.

Today we held a Women's rally at church. Women who knit, write, make bamboo pipes, do ceramics, quilt, analyze numbers, sing, compose music, make prints and others which I have forgotten got together. We use a methodology called Open Space. Google that to find out what it is about.

We start with an opening circle, break into groups, have a potluck lunch all together, afternoon sessions and then closing circle. I had an activity planned for the closing circle, but threw that away when one group announced they had a song for us all to sing that came out of the afternoon session, from someone who has been blocked recently trying to compose music. Yes, we talked about blocks to creativity, the biggest being fools who say things like "That's a dumb idea" or "You can't sing" or "You can't write" or "This is not perfect". One nugget we talked about was that we are all creative, and need to get over those kinds of comments to find our inner voice or creativity.

I am always a bit nervous when I am planning these, but after today I should just relax. They run themselves, just like Open Space says.

It was a good rally.

Women's Rally a Success - the lost one found

This morning at church 20 women held a rally. I am not sure if that is the appropriate name for what we did, but that is what we always call it, since these started 8 or 9 years ago. We use a metholology called Open Space for these rallies. Today was titled Creativity and Spirituality. We start with an opening circle, decide what sessions we want to run, feed each other lunch by bringing a potluck meal, afternoon sessions and closing circle. Women who paint, knit, write, analyze numbers, make mobiles, sing, make prints, make pottery, make and play bamboo pipes, compose music and probably some that I have forgotten got together. A nugget aka seed that was planted is that ALL of us are creative. When people start saying to us "That is a dumb idea" we start to self-monitor and sometimes believe that we are not creative. Interesting, this often starts when we enter grade school. Women today realize a broader definition of creativity. We closed the rally by saying individually to each other "I appreciate you and appreciate your creativity.

I am always a bit nervous about how these are going to go, but after this one today, I should just relax. I had an activity for our closing circle planned, but that was unnecessary. A group composed a song for us all to sing sung to the tune Dona Nobis Pacem. I was in tears as we sang it.

It was a good rally.

Alert the Media - Jacket Reunion

I must say that I am getting very excited about our upcoming jacket reunion. This was Liz's idea and Jane implemented the idea.

A bit of background, for those who are unaware, a few years ago Amy and I discovered a wonderful woman in Acton, who designed a quilted jacket. One December, Amy and I went to her yearly sale and I bought a kit of fabric and pattern, and one snowy day a few weeks later the first jacket was hatched. I wore the jacket into church one evening and Nancy admired it. I mentioned that we could have an adult ed class making the jacket and we did. 10 of us were involved in the first class and we gave a summer worship service that next summer. Since then we had 2 more formal classes at church. We have also auctioned a jacket at the last 5 service auctions.

SO this Saturday, thanks to Jane and Liz, we are having a reunion potluck with as many of the jacketeers as we can get together with their families. My friend Cindy is coming from Mansfield and spending the night. She is in the middle of her 8 or 9th jacket.

My crazy idea is to post a slide show of jackets that have been made, so being last minute, I started last night collecting any digital images that I have taken. It is too last minute to have this ready for Saturday, so I'll bring what I have, take a "few" more pictures and find a place to post them to the web.

My long term dream is to have each person write a little blurb about what the jacket means to them and collect these where we post the pictures.

Here are a few pictures, AND there will be many more later.

Above is Sister-in-law Judy with her "New Year's Eve" jacket, and the original . . .

Back into some kind of routine

Yesterday some of our Saturday sewers got together after quite a few weeks off. I love getting together with this group. It is a modern version of the Sewing Bee. We sew/quilt/knit/mend and gab. We come for comraderie and community. We support each other, we give free advice, we spend 3 hours in our busy lives doing what we love, and not worrying about Saturday chores. We catch up on each others lives. After getting together yesterday, I realize how much I miss the group when we don't get together.

I also went to church today after a few weeks off. We have been away a lot of weekends this fall, doing great stuff, but nevertheless we have missed church. When this happens, and I finally get back to church, I realize how I love the routines in my life. I love the Saturday sewing and I love sitting in a pew on Sunday for that hour with nothing else to do but soak it all in.

Last Sunday we were in the Berkshires and a friend of ours is an interim minister at the Lee UCC church. We went to her service, and it satisfied my need for church. But I also needed to get home to First Parish. I feel plugged back in, I feel reconnected. With no weekends away planned until after Christmas, I am glad to be back into a routine.

What is NELS?

For the next week I will be on staff at the North East Leadership School affectionately called NELS. This is my last year in a three year rotation of being on staff and I am excited and a bit sad that this is my last year. We hold it on Cape Cod at the Craigville Conference Center. I attended as a participant in August of 2004, and was asked to be on staff that fall. Days start at 7 am with a worship service before breakfast, and sometimes finish as early as 9:30 pm . It is a long and rewarding week. Participants learn leadership skills and they also participant in a Credo group, where they spend a week with a small group exploring their beliefs and composing them to share in this small group. They also are thrown into the task of putting together a worship service to share with their fellow participants. I have been brought to tears more than once during these lay led worship services.

Each year is different and each year is wonderful. There are 2 places that I go to where I detach from the TV and electronic world, Star Island and NELS. Since this is my last year, I will be looking for a replacement to have next summer,

. . . but to not wish this experience away, I am detaching now from this electronic media to travel to the Cape and enagage one last time in an experience where a staff of 8 put together a powerful learning experience for 28 other Unitarian Universalists from the North East and enable them, if they are willing, to return to their congregations, transformed leaders.

Who is Father's Day for?

Father's Day is always bittersweet for me since my Dad is dead. I started to say, he is no longer around and I could have said "He has passed." He is dead.

As I drove around today listening to the sermon that I missed on Sunday part of the content was about fathers. I remember a candle lit one Fathers Day by someone who has been estranged from her father. It really brought the reality of some of the Hallmark holidays into the light for me. It got me thinking about the bittersweetness of this holiday and Mother's Day as well. What about those who are having trouble conceiving? What about those who lost a parent this year and this is their first year solo? Yes, yes, it helps with grieving.

I rarely buy cards ahead of time, but the year my Dad died I bought a card that I never had a chance to give to him. I keep it in my pile of cards and not surprisingly, it never is appropriate for birthday, or graduation, or new job. Why don't I just throw it away? It reminds me of him and of the bittersweetness of this holiday for me.

So Pollyanna shows up to write the rest of this blog and I realize that the card allows me to stop and think of him and I appreciate again how much he really is around. He is in me in how I think and look, and some of my brothers have adopted his mannerisms. Songs that were his favorites, are our favorites. I still stop occasionally and read through the condolence cards that I got from a variety of friends and relatives after he died.

So maybe once a year, to wander the Hallmark aisle and chose a card for Rod but not Dad is tolerable, and maybe it is part of the grief process.