2009 - Past Christmas memories

As I sit here at Coniston, on the 19th of December, we are not in traffic to the mall or madly wrapping, or working on our annual Christmas letter/collage (although we may get around to that this year before Christmas, and might wait until after to send it this year) I have spent a large part of this Saturday morning thinking about many of our/my past Christmas adventures.

Early memories were in Colorado, when it was magical that things appeared under the tree that I really wanted. One travel Christmas was to San Francisco where we shared Christmas on Yurba Buena Island with my grandparents and cousins, and aunt and uncle. That was the first time that playing charades on Christmas night, which was a tradition of my paternal grandparents, became a wonderful tradition and memory. I was describing this recently to a group of gathered family members. As I remember it, the entire house was up for grabs for props and costumes. It was no small game of guessing words, but rather one act plays to convey a single 4 letter word sometimes.

We had charades a few times in our first Brandon Vt house where one-third of our living room became the stage and the other two-thirds were the audience. Mom and Dad worked so hard to make that magical trip down the stairs to see the tree and presents from Santa. The oldest two kids always prepared coffee for Mom and Dad to wake them up. As a parent I now realize why they were so exhausted. We argued almost every year about whether the oldest kid or youngest kid was first in line. I think it was the youngest.

After opening Santa presents and stockings (hand made by Grandma Katie, and I still make this pattern for family members), we all stayed in our spanking new Christmas PJs for as much of the day as possible. We always had eggs benedict for breakfast. EGGS BENEDICT FOR 9+ people, many of them male in gender who could eat 3 or 4. How did we ever pull that off? Both my kids see eggs benedict as part of the Christmas morning routine, as evidenced by two years ago at Chris and Meg's we had it, and Bethany asking if we are bringing eggs benedict ingredients with us to Thailand this year.

In retrospect those were the Hallmark Christmass. They were magical and contribute to what I think is important in Christmas today, and this year. My two favorite memories of my kids on Christmas are: Chris getting 3 train sets one year, and my father down on the floor with him playing with the Brio one. The negative of that picture is lost somewhere, but Chris has the hard copy and I have the vivid memory. The one for Bee straddles two years. She kept saying that she wanted Pongo from 101 Dalmations. On Christmas Eve she wrote in her letter that she wanted Pongo and Perdita. We looked at each other with that UT OH look. Christmas morning her first words in the form of a question were "Where's Perdita?" Perdita came the next year.

I am thinking so much about "the ghost of Christmas past" because this year is going to be very untraditional. We won't have time to put up and enjoy a tree, since we are leaving on the evening of the 23rd to travel to Thailand to spend Christmas 2009 with Bee. That is most of our Christmas and what a present this is! We will hopefully make it to spend 3 hours of the 25th with her. We are also celebrating with Chris and Meg today at Coniston.

We have travelled a few times on Christmas to spend Christmas with English or overseas American family, so travel during this time of year is not unfamiliar. One year our plumbing backed up on the 25th, we had to get an emergency plumber to fix it, and we left late in the day to travel to England. That was pretty funny in retrospect. Bee, Murg and I also travelled to Burlington VT one year to celebrate with Chris on Christmas Day, after having the early morning Christmas with Bee in Lexington.

This feels rambling at this point. . . so,

This will be a fabulous year, a trip and a Christmas to remember. They have evolved over the years and the core important parts remain, family, magic, travels, and festivals of lights. Notice what is missing, most everything commercial, except maybe this year the plane flights.

Qammi stories - so sad - I have the memories

Today Qammi took her last breathe and it is a very very sad day. We have had her for 9.5 years and she has been a wonderful dog. She spent her first week sitting on Bee's lap and spent every night possible after that sleeping on her bed. She was a pretty spoiled dog. Many guests were surprised that she was allowed to sit on our couches and she often would crawl up beside one of them on the couch and lean her chin on their knee. Looking at them with those chocolate lab eyes as if to say "What, I spend more time on this couch than you do, and in fact you are sitting in my spot."

Last winter she really thought we had lost our minds when we participated in an event in North Hero called The Great Ice which is a 2 mile walk to Knight island over the frozen lake and then 2 miles back. Once we arrived on the Island she was pretty confused that we would venture back over the ice. It took a leash and lots of encouragement for her to do the return trip, until she could see the mainland again.

She loved to roll on her back whether in the spring grass, the fall leaves or the winter snow. In fact, in the early hours of her last day, she rolled in the new snow.

She loved water, and swimming. At my brother and sister-in-law's house in VT, she would be in the pond the entire day if we let her. She would chase a tennis ball as many times as someone would throw it to the point of over exhaustion.

At another brother and sister-in-law's house in VT she was chased by a cow once and did a sommersault over an electric wire as she tried to get away from the cow. We left Qammi with them one time and she got a cut above her eye from some metal on their truck. They took her to their vet for stitches, and we arrived home shortly after their return from the vet.

She was a bit of a chicken, never the top dog. At her favorite place to walk in Willard's Woods in Lex, if there was an agressive dog ahead she would make a big semi-circle around them to avoid the conflict.

We were on a morning schedule for walking her, I got M and W and the weekends, Murg got T TH and F. Qammi could tell by our morning actions, which one of us was walking her.

Almost every day of her life she would follow me into the bathroom and drink water from my bath. This morning she would not drink which is when I knew she was really not well.

There are lots more stories, which I will remember over the next few months. I am really going to miss those eyes, and that wagging tail. I am going to miss being greeted every time I open the front door, and her peeking through the window to see who is arriving home. I might even miss her barking at the dog walking in front of our house.

I am going to miss those morning and early evening walks on the bike path.

Life is so precious and fragile and when those that we love have taken their last breathe, we are left with the memories and the stories and the pictures of them.

Holiday Workshop and ramblings from a Weekend

Since I taught a Myers-Briggs workshop at work a few weeks ago, I have been thinking more about Myers-Briggs. I realize just now that I reserve weekends for my MBTI preferences. I have had a "deliverable" on a volunteer activity at church and it has hounded me for months. It is easy to not deliver on a volunteer activity because there is not the same level of accountability.

My deliverable is to document our annual Holiday Workshop at FPLEX. Here is the blog for that so you can see what I mean. Last Year, 2008, I was supposed to get this done, so 365 days later I am doing it. Typically for my P of ENFP, I get things done in a burst of energy. I went to the Holiday Workshop, have a wonderful husband Murg, who went home to get our laptop. I interviewed people who were running the tables at the workshop, many of them who have been helping run it since the early 1980s, and wrote up their projects in that other blog's posts. The husband of one of the orignators is a wonderful photographer and he is going to help with with some pictures for THAT blog.

My point is that this task has been weighing on me for 365 days, or longer, and with a few hours this afternoon I am going to get it near complete. The cool thing about the blog aspect of this, is that a blog does not to be done. You can keep adding to it and that is what I intend to do. My task is done, even though I will keep adding projects. The purpose of this blog is fact is to share with other congregations and for them to add their ideas. Blogging is perfect for P of the ENFP, because I don't ever have to be done adding my thoughts and for THIS blog, it clearly says it is my ramblings.

So, I fed myself this morning by going to one of my favorite activities of the church year, and I am near complete in a task for Green Sanctuary and I got some new insights about myself around Myers-Briggs. A good weekend so far and it is only 1:35 Saturday afternoon.

Shopping and Black Friday - out of sync

I am sorry to offend anyone but I don't get Black Friday. If I needed a new flat screen TV maybe. The older I get the less I like crowds and the less I actually need to buy. My niece had to be at work at Starbucks at 4am to serve the shoppers and in fact worked Thanksgiving as well. OK, I admit it, I went by a Starbucks on Thanksgiving to get my latte and because of me, those workers had to be there. I could have boycotted Starbucks on Thanksgiving but I really wanted a latte. Gotcha, I am part of the dynamic. In the good 'ole days, retail stores were closed ALL DAY on Thanksgiving.

On NPR yesterday was an interesting article about discounted purchasing. Yes, in the good 'ole days, rarely were things discounted, and I am old enough to remember those days. We have created box stores and Black Friday shopping. Again, I don't want to offend anyone who participated yesterday, since that is their entertainment and choice and maybe need to save money. Even if I wanted or needed something I would have never ventured out yesterday to get it. There are other areas that I am out of sync like downsizing rather than thinking about a McMansion. Less stuff not more stuff.

So, for all those Black Friday shoppers, I hope you scored some great deals and got what you wanted and had a good time.

Stellar Customer Service - Naked Fish Waltham

Today at lunch with E., the waitress dropped a cup of hot water in the middle of our table. It was not really a big deal at all since we had not been served our meal yet, and the water did not get us that wet or even burn us. In fact, I had forgotten that this happened. When we asked for the check the waitress said that lunch was on them, and said that management insisted.

We of course left a really big tip and I will tell many people that story. In fact anyone who reads my blog or the NOTE feed to facebook has a chance of reading about this. I already go to Naked Fish a lot for their blackened scallop salad (BTW, if you have never tried it, DO!). I might go more frequently because of the waitress's and her manager's gesture today.

I wonder why more people don't get the value of great customer service? Zappos gets it, Southwest gets it and today Naked Fish in Waltham got it today.

Gossip - what a topic!

The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls." ~

Elizabeth Cady Stanton (born November 12, 1815)

Gossip was our topic last night in our covenant group. One of the members sent out this quote to share with us after the discussion. It resonated with me and is now my quote of the day.

There were many complexities of this topic and the ones that stuck with me were:

1) there is a subtle or maybe not so subtle difference between sharing information and gossiping and one lens to look at is through is what was the intent. A malicious intent is gossiping

2) Some of us were treated not so nicely in our childhoods by people talking behind our back and spreading rumors (middle school aged kids can be so mean as they sort out the pecking order) and this colors our reaction to whether it is gossip, and therefore hurtful or just sharing of knowledge.

3) I thought this would be a rather shallow topic and once again was surprised by the covenant group process. Take a seemingly shallow topic, put a trusting group of people in a circle, listen to each other, shift and move your thinking based on what you hear and say and after 90 minutes, you know those people better and you know yourself better.

For me, I have developed a little tougher exterior to what might be being said behind my back. I don't view it as gossip but rather that person's perception of me. Their story that they need to tell others. Often it is not about me but about them.

So how do you share information about others without it being perceived as gossiping and hurtful? I think I know gossip when I see it, but will look at it with lenses of intent and insecurity.

Thoughts about serving on a jury

This is the third time that I have been asked to show up for jury duty in my entire adult life. I don't think that is every 3 years unless I am a lot younger than I thought. They said today that people get asked every 3 years, or maybe they said you cannot be asked for at least another 3 years.

There is a lot of wasted time waiting for the jury selection but hey, they are not paying you for that time. This time, cell phones were allowed in the jury pool room as was food and drink. BIG SIGNS as you enter the court house saying "NO FOOD NO DRINKS NO CELL PHONES" but every time the jury entered the security area the guards waved us through and we could have drink, food, and cell phones. That was a change since the last time I served.

This time the court officer said at about 10am that there would be a jury trial today and that low numbers would probably be chosen. I randomly had been given number 5, so I figured I would be one of the 7 members. We entered the court room at 11am, went through the jury selection and heard the two opening statements until 1pm, broke for lunch until 2pm, heard another hour of witnesses and then off to deliberate. There were a lot of red herrings and smoke screens that we needed to sift through.

This was the fascinating part of the day. In criminal court we were instructed that the defendant was presumed not guilty and the commonwealth had to prove without reasonable doubt that he/she was guilty. We were deciding on two areas and we pretty quickly came up with guilty in one area. The second area was when it felt like "12 Angry Men". I really did not want to go back to deliberate tomorrow and we had to be done by 4:30pm. 5 of us were on one side and the person who had been selected to be the foreman of the jury was not there. I tried to be patient and quiet to see if he/she would come around but no such luck. Then as the clock ticked away I started asking "Is there any reasonable doubt about xxxxxxxxx?" Ladies and gentleman of the jury wanted the policeman to do something different. HELLO, you cannot go back and change that. This is the evidence we have. (I said this on the inside, not out loud)I was pretty patient and let the others convince him/her. For those who know me well, this is newer behavior. I trusted the process and resigned myself to coming back tomorrow. All of a sudden there was a breakthrough. Someone asked the question in a different way, with a different twist. YAHOOOOOO

My observation that you bring 7 strangers together, have them listen to the same information, charge them with a task to work together and come up with a unanimous decision. Yes, this is our civic obligation. We place a lot of trust in a trial with a jury of our peers. The poor alternate juror did not get to deliberate with us, had to hang around and was brought back with us for the punch line.

It was fun today, I learned a bit about myself, I tried to be patient and sat back and let others take over until the deadline loomed and then someone asked the question one more time. People lives are placed in the hands of a jury of their peers. WOW!!!

Loving the Snow - SORRY

When I arrived back from church today in MASSACHUSETTS, it was snowing. Rarely when the white stuff falls from the sky do I have an "OH NO" feeling. Good thing we are going to retire to Vermont, huh?

Sure, people do not drive as well in the snow and you have the clear the stuff in order to get to work but I am just not sure I could live somewhere that it does not snow.

Granted, I have a wonderful husband who snow blows when it gets really deep. I am out there clearing off the cars as he snow blows making it a team effort.

I guess, as long as I can get out in the stuff and we can get it cleared, I am going to always LOVE the snow.

I am sure a part of this is growing up in CO and VT. Snow was just part of the climate and we would always race to get out into it. I have said this before, but I took both my kids out in snow storms, so they could learn to drive in it.

So, yes it is October 18th and this is the second bit of snow we have had so far, but even with all of that I just love the snow.

The cold comes along with the snow and my feeling is you can always put on another layer in the cold. In a hot climate on the other hand you cannot always take off another layer. I suspect that I will visit warm climates but I am not sure I will ever live in them. I could surprise myself.

The Airline Industry - my observations only

So, for a variety of reasons this year has been really busy with airline travel for me, the most recent trip this week to Orem Utah for work. Since I have traveled with a few airlines here are my observations.

Southwest has an excellent boarding process. You know exactly where you stand in the order, people are very civil as they wait and then board and it is fun, if boarding can be fun. They also have bright cheery airplanes.

American Airlines has a wonderful flight attendant on the Boston to London during the day route. Apparently this route is coveted among flight attendants, because it is international and your body clock does not get as disrupted. She has worked for American for 37 years and was cheery, and happy and helpful and it was so clear that she really loves her job. It made such a difference for me to spend 7 hours with her over a grouchy one.

Delta has a variety of temperments among their flight attendants. The flight to SLC on Tuesday night, most of the attendants were pretty happy and pleasant. The flight returing last night they were very grouchy and pretty condescending. Two of them stood right outside the door to the cockpit, and talked in a not so nice way about passengers, and this was the conversation:

Flight Attendant # 1 "Yup, some of these bags will not fit"
Flight Attendant # 2 "Yes, the grey one, that one will never fit"
Flight Attendant # 3 "Yes and the black one on the right, what are they thinking?"

Clearly these were not carry on bags, but would you really just stand and do nothing, and talk about passengers that way?

I heard today that Jet Blue flight attendants actually help passengers put their bags in the overhead. Now, that make lots of sense to me. The Delta attendants clearly had a sense of urgency to get those bags overhead and get us in our seats, as evidenced by the 6 announcements to that effect in 5 minutes. One passenger remarked that if they did not charge $25 per bag to check, maybe there would not be so many carry ons. Tell me honestly, would you help people load the bags rather than make incessant announcements. I would, but that is me.

It got me thinking about what is important in a flight for me. Safety is the obvious one, which is why I always thank all of the crew on my way out of the plane, even if they were grouchy.

I always ask for an aisle seat. I hate to be trapped and not be able to visit the rest rooms. I always hydrate a lot when flying. Only once this year have I been trapped in the middle seat. On my flight this week the Boston Delta agent found me an aisle seat and I profusely thanked him multiple times. I like to reinforce positive behavior, so it reoccurs.

The best time for me to read is on planes. I pop in my ear buds, play some classical music and read a book for most of the flight. I have not done that on some flights recently, since I had work to do, but that is my favorite time to read a book cover to cover.

This is a silly one, but I hate to pay the Airlines for food. I may pay more for food from the terminal, but I remember the days when a meal was included and pretty near refuse to buy food on a plane, EXCEPT LAST NIGHT, when the groucy Delta attendants were selling Pink Lemonade for $2 glass in honor of breast cancer research. They give all of the money to breast cancer research.

No layovers are important to me. If the cost is pretty similar I would rather not take off and land twice and the layover always makes me nervous. Especially if I am flying to the west coast for work, I try to get a non-stop.

So, if there is a choice of domestic airlines and the cost and route is very similar this is the order that I will fly them: TIED FOR FIRST PLACE - Jet Blue and Southwest, Second place - American, Third place - United and dead last unless I am flying to SLC (non-stop) - Delta.

Oh, and did I say that I don't really like small planes unless they are flying from South Hero to Hampton NH to get us to Star Island.

Recharging at Coniston

This past month has been jam packed of lots of good stuff. When we scheduled all of this we were looking at the calendar but did we know that there would be no down time in between all these events. Probably not! Just the highlights which don't include are day to day life events are: 1) San Francisco trip with Bee to see 2 sets of old friends and then sent her off to Taipei for the start of her 9 month comparative religions and cultures class 2) "Quick" trip over the pond to celebrate a sister-in-law's 70th birthday. Those are the major events, and with our normal crazy full lives, I realized on the trip up last night how much I need "Coniston" to recharge. I put quotes around Coniston, because I am not sure it is the place I need but the activity, or lack of activity that I need. Because we have a lot less things up here, there are less chores staring at me, or maybe it is the ever present big front window panes looking out at our affectionately named Channel 1 that allow me to ignore the cob webs and mouse turds that need to be cleaned up. YES, I SAID MOUSE TURDS! OK, these do not make me happy at all, but I guess they are a given when a house is in the middle of all of this wild life. I announced to them that I was coming down the hall last night and made sure they knew that I knew they were more afraid of me, then I am of them. This is was Murg always says, so I said this out loud to reassure myself. Funny story about this concept and Liam the snake. Ask me to tell you this one next time we are together.

Back to the title of this post after that little distraction and I do mean little . . . maybe

We talked almost the entire way up to Coniston last night and tried to answer some big life questions, what do we want to do when we grow up? When do we want to retire? What does it mean to be retired?

One AHA out of that and I have realized this before but not in sure a concrete way as last night, is that when we come to Coniston it is a vacation (Murg actually said this and I have thought about this before). So 2 weekends out of every month, we are on vacation. It helps with how little vacation we get as Americans compared to the rest of the world. That means we have 48 more days of vacation every year if we come up here 4 days a month and there are 12 months in the year.

I don't think in the 18 months that Coniston has been in our lives, that every day up here has been a vacation, but for me 90% of them have.

At the very least, this weekend I have taken the time to post to my blog, which is something I really like to do and have not been able to make the time to do enough in the last month. Enough said.

Back to Channel 1 . . . Here come our wild turkeys

iPhone - what else can I say?

My only real, apparent excuse for not blogging is that I got an iPhone. Yes, I coveted them for a long time and finally broke down and joined the cult. Since I can check my email account(S) on it and check my Facebook on it, I need to log into my laptop, a lot less frequently. That and I have been a bit busy crossing the US by plane, and visiting friends in CA and having a friend from HI visit.

It is also near the end of summer and I like to try to get outside in the waning light.

Red Sox games and Mad Men have been my only TV addictions, so it is not TV that has replace blogging.

I am wondering if this blog is going to become extinct? It is not as if I don't have anything to say or that my thoughts have stopped. A couple of times in the last few weeks, I have said outloud to myself, that would be a great blog topic.

I have not needed to rant about anything for a while, although if I watch Fox TV it is only a matter of minutes before a rant could erupt.

No, it is simple, it is the iPhone. Maybe shorter blog posts on the iphone will start to show up here. You mean 140 character messages, now there is a novel thought.

Now that was a Great movie!

Bee, Murg and I just got back from "Julie and Julia". Don't tell them, but I read this entire book while sitting in a over-stuffed chair at Barnes and Noble. It took me 3 sessions. I bought a latte, wandered upstairs, and sat for a few hours each time while I read.

I love anything with Meryl Streep in it, and she was particularly good in this movie. The movement between the two stories was very good and boy did it make me hungry.

There are not too many movies, where the three of us come out saying "That was a really Great movie!"

I actually want to go see over half of the movies which were previewed. A couple of them, Murg leaned over to Bee and me and said "That is not a Sally movie". Can't watch anything with suspense violence or blood or tense music which leaves out about 90% of the movies made.

This movie was perfect, for me. What a great start to the weekend!

Quilting Project log jam broken

I don't know why I get stalled with my quilting but I do. At Vermont Quilt Festival this year, I realized that I didn't have any BIG quilt projects going. In fact, I bought a quilt kit at VQF,to make another Kaffee Fassett quilt for Coniston. We need more quilts up there in the winter.

Yesterday, I went to visit C who is a fellow quilter. She has a terrific quilt store right around the corner from her house, so of course after sitting on her dock, catching up, watching Qammi swim and swim and swim, we decided to visit Quilters Stash. I forgot how many batiks they have. In a few minutes I realized the color of my next quilted jacket, and about 20 minutes later, I was ready to check out. That was Saturday. Today, Sunday, I have all the pieces cut out and am just about to start the assembly.

So WHY? Was it the camaraderie of shopping for fabric with someone else? Was it the fabrics that sparked some inspiration for my next project? Do I not prioritize my time to have time to quilt? Do I really need another quilted jacket? Wait, wait, wait, I don't think you can ever have enough quilted jackets.

So given my history, this project will be an obsession for a couple of weeks until I am at last wearing it. The colors are fall colors, so just in time I will have a new one to wear. Pictures to come soon of my new jacket.

Half Full for sure

I am pretty sure I am a half full person. Recent evidence to this is all this rain we have been getting in New England. Twice today I left my office, went down in the elevator and did not realize that there was a torrential rainstorm going on until I reached the revolving door to the building. I can see outside from my office so it is not just that I could not see the outside. I just did not expect it to be raining. My response each time was, "so I will get a bit wet!" There was a gentleman at the door as I was leaving tonight during the second torrential rainstorm. He was aghast that I was even thinking about leaving to go to my car. So my clothes are pretty wet, but that is certainly not the end of the world.

Glass half full can actually be a problem. I don't see pot holes and step in them. I trust people, sometimes when I should not trust them. I expect people to receive messages the same way I do, and they don't.

I actually think this rain is going to stop some day, maybe even today. My supply list for building an ark is not started. "There must be a pony in here somewhere" is the tag line of a card I once received as the person was standing neck deep in a pile of pony #@$)*(#.

Explanation for "New Knees Please"

BEWARE whining alert . . . Lately, within the last month, I have been biking a lot. I use my Coniston bike up there, and B's bike in Lexington. Gradually I have been covering more ground each day and Monday I was feeling pretty good about my exercise routine. Bike riding 4-5 times a week, and yoga 2-3 times a week was feeling like a pretty good exercise routine when BAM! My "good" knee collapsed. I say "good" knee because this is the one that was operated on in 1985, when I tore ligaments dancing with my sister on my 30th birthday. So "good" in this case is "not" the one most recently operated on. The one I could trust, and did not have to favor. It did not just go BAM! I put my left foot on the pedal, was swinging my right foot over the seat when my iPOD cord caught on the seat, I panicked, swung my right foot back over the seat, placed it on the ground (in the wrong position apparently) and the next I knew, the bike was lying on top of me on the ground, because my "good" right knee collapsed.

Murg wonders why I don't go to the doctor. In 25 years of nursing bad knees, I know what they are going to say. Ice it, anti-inflammatory, and once the swelling goes down, come see us if there is still pain. Early on, I would go visit the doctor for these episodes. I often wonder what will happen if both knees decide to go at once.

This is all very discouraging because I want to be in an exercise routine, a regular one, and episodes like this derail me, delay me and force me to think about moderating my routine. My bike rides for now are out of the question as is the golf game planned for 10 days from now. Walking the dog, until the swelling goes down is out of the question.

The biggest mindset change for me, in the first few hours on the couch after this episode, was the realization that I have been dealing with bad knees for 25 years. 2 years ago my left knee was operated on and is the one I have been favoring for 2 years. For that episode I was literally walking back from town with Murg after a dinner in town. My left knee collapsed and I could put NO weight on it. He left me there in pain, on the sidewalk, while he ran back to get the car. That was a visit to the emergency room and knee surgery in November of that year. This happened a few more times before the surgery which a piece of my meniscus ended up on the wrong side of my knee cap, and my knee collapsed and I could put NO weight on it.

So, now my attention back on the right knee for now. Ice, rest, getting better every day.

This is not all bad, I can walk for exercise eventually, or swim, and probably bike and golf, just not this weekend, or today.

Leadership lessons Part II - "What is the Worst that could happen?"

Today at church E, the past board president gave a sermon on his lessons from the past 2 years as board president. One lesson he mentioned today is another one that has stuck with me. When you are about to do something, or are afraid of proceeding, ask yourself "What is the worst that could happen?" This question is one I use a lot coaching others. It often breaks a log jam in someone's decision making, or in their process around a complicated decision, or a tough personnel issue. I use this a lot in coaching others, but I am not sure I use it with myself. As an HR person, we tend to ask this during a reduction in force, or another difficult HR process.

I learned this technique first, from one of my great managers at Polaroid. I was about to go present to the President and his staff. I had never presented to that level before. H asked me "What is the worst that could happen?" I answered, "They would think I was stupid." H paused and then asked me "Has that ever happened to you before?" I was dumb founded, thought for a minute and then said "No!" He had confidence in me at that point that I did not have, but this simple technique allowed me to go ace the presentation to the Senior Staff.

E's reminder today was a good one. As I have said before "When the student is ready the teacher appears."

Leadership philosophy that has stuck with me

At breakfast with S this morning, we were talking about leadership training. On the 30 second drive back from that breakfast, I reflected on what has stuck with me for leadership concepts. I have taught a lot of these over the years, but when it comes down to it, only a few remain a part of my own philosophy.

The first one that I spout about all the time is one from Alfie Cohn. He believes that testing kids in school is stupid because you are testing them mid learning cycle. Not all kids learn at the same pace, so the test is mid-way for most of the class. Standardized tests are the same thing. I always told my kids that they were obsolete as soon as you 1) got into college 2) finished that class. Translated to the work environment with a Deming quality concept thrown in, you cannot distinguish performance for 85% of the population. So why do we spend so much time on merit increases, when you cannot distinguish the difference in performance? Pet peeve of mine for sure.

My most recent learning was about brain chemistry, the partial topic of a previous post. I must have used this concept to explain changing behavior, 100 times since that February workshop, as recently as yesterday in fact.

This is the obvious one, MBTI. I revisited a worksheet yesterday and these two comments about my personality jumped out from the page like cold water on my face to remind me of some opportunities for enlightenment: ENFP Stress Behavior - Keeps talking until you FEEL the same way as he/she does AND ENFP Resists Rules by - Relying on the force of personality to overcome laws of physics. I learn something every time I conduct a MBTI workshop. I use it daily to interact better with family and friends and workmates. I laugh at myself daily about my type.

The last one for this post is the book Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham. The best thing to do, is to focus on people's strengths and not try to fix their weaknesses. This one is so obvious, however, we are in the middle of performance reviews at work, and I am not sure our system is geared to focus on strengths as much as it is to have "developmental" opportunities.

OK, those 4 are the top of mind for me, today and many of them have been on my radar and in my daily language for at least a decade.

Keeping the fingers busy knitting

At our covenant group on Sunday our topic was relaxation. Sitting under a huge tree in the shade just outside the church in Burlington Vt was pretty relaxing until the band on Church St starting playing. Next time we are going to the Lake, waterfront to meet.

I realized during this meeting that I knit so I can concentrate. When I am knitting, I am relaxed. Rarely, are my fingers clenched when I am knitting.

I also realized that meditation is not meditative for me. It is stressful to stay absolutely quiet (the extrovert that I am). Yoga is meditative because I am doing something, but meditation is not. Someone at Star said "You should meditate"! "Nope, I shouldn't, unless I want to get more stressed." It probably works for some but not for me.

Give me a ball of yarn, some wooden needles and almost any situation, and I am relaxed. There is something that is so familiar about creating those stitches, and having something for my idle fingers to focus on which causes me to concentrate and to relax.

One member of our group talked about Genesis and the 7th day of Sabbath. We need to rest and relax. Knitting is that for me.

The ONLY bad thing about Star is . . .

The only bad thing about Star is the showers. They are few and far between and this week, there was just a trickle from the nozzle, not really enough to rinse. There were 3 of them, but none were satisfying.

I asked a lot of people at Star this week, "Why do you come? What brings you back? What first brought you?"

Many respondents said it was the people. The natural beauty was also mentioned a few times.

I pondered it myself this week, Why do I keep coming back? It is the people and the traditions. Where else can you spend an entire social hour talking about names of couples and whose name do you say first e.g. Bonnie and Clyde or Sally and Rodney. We came up with some hypotheses, but no conclusions. It was a silly conversation.

As I sat on East Rock last night at 12 midnight with about 30 others, I realized this is why I come back. Simple entertainment, the wonder of the world, laid out before your eyes, ears and nose. The fog horn on White Island and the sea gulls. Singing folk songs until you cannot keep your eyes open and falling into bed to the sounds of the teens on their last night staying up for the sun rise.

This is why I come back: the rocking chairs, lime rickeys, silly conversations, deep conversations, the tears, the laughter, early morning coffee, 10pm chapel, walking up the hill in silence carrying a lantern, the din of the dining hall, children's artwork, adult artwork, the 269 other shoalers, the silliness, the healing conversations, sharing, catching up on last year, planning other visits, soaking in the sunlight on the front porch and the LACK of: TV, news, cars, outside world

It is a shock to the system to be back on the mainland. As I sit at Coniston in my daze I have mentioned to a few people that it is like being jet lagged only star lagged.

After the first great shower in a week, I feel clean again, and touched again by the magic and spiritual aspect of Star.

It has been a wonderful few weeks, punctuated by my annual visit to Star. Back to work refreshed, and healed, and recharged.

It is Raining again!!!!

Ok, I am sort of getting it, that people are sick of the rain. It is 8:48 in the morning and it looks like twilight. I guess it is a good thing I had some sun in Salt Lake City, and I sure would not want to be on Star Island in this weather.

So my crankiness yesterday is partially explained by too much travel, too many things going on and not enough sleep in my own bed. Granted, these are all things I asked for, quilting, General Assembly and most importantly Star, BUT I have not even unpacked my bags from Vermont Quilt Festival and certainly have not even looked at GA materials. The pile is building in the corner of my bedroom.

Murg was clearing out his pile last night, but I fell asleep, which was really needed.

So as I grab an umbrella to go out with E on her last day at Intuit, I will miss her, I think maybe the rain is also affecting me. Please get it out of your system before our Star week. It does not look hopeful. Pack lots of warm clothes and jeans, not t-shirts and shorts. The last few years at Star, I have not even put on my long pants. A different year this year, I suppose. Just like you can never have a bad weekend, you can never have anything but a glorious week on Star.

this is my life some days, now I am laughing about it

Today I had a hair cut at noon, and had 2 errands to do, one post and one pre. The pre one was the preferred one, so I headed south only to discover the yarn shop does not open until noon and it was 11:35. So off to the dentist to get the darn receipt that my Health Spending Account admin desires.

On the trip, EVERY light turned yellow or red right before I got there and EVERY road had granny drivers or cement trucks in front of me. Because I had a noon deadline, there were so many obstacles.

I don't have PMS these days, coz I am far beyond that, but honestly I think I still have the hormonal swings associated with PMS. I feel irritable, and grouchy and grumpy. Halfway through the errands, I stopped blaming things that were beyond my control and calmed down.

As usual, I was trying to pack too much into my window of opportunity, and some days it works, some days it does not.

My hair got cut, AND I got back for the going away cake for someone leaving work.

Yarn store awaits another free block of time . . .

Blogging live from General Assembly - NOT

OK, it is has been a long 4 days and lot has happened. Democracy in action, a couple of close votes, which actually had to be counted and a group of over 1200 was split by only 13 votes. YIKES.

We had two candidates for presidency of our Denomination, and there are 1/2 of the participants very happy, and the other 1/2 sad and disappointed END OF TRYING TO LIVE BLOG

So, I tried to live blog but instead had to do my REAL job of reporting on the Plenary session.

We had many more responsive resolutions this year, than I ever remember. The pot was stirred around our by-laws and being able to change certain sections of them. UUs love to weigh in when they don't feel heard and that certainly happened.

I was commenting last night that this year General Assembly was different because 1) there was an election with 2 strong candidates 2) the Statement of Conscience on Peacemaking did not pass, and was sent back to be re-written 3) there was a very close vote, split by 13 or 17 votes, but a very small number, on the by-law amendment.

This left many people sad and disappointed, and other happy and elated, but all in all, that is what democracy is all about.

Tired and happy to have gone to GA

Rain, what Rain?

Honestly, and I am not in denial, I don't notice the weather. I guess this is a good thing in the middle of the winter or mud season at Coniston.

While in VT at VQF, it was only drizzily one day, but reading Facebook updates from my Beantown friends, there was a lot of grousing about the weather.

Maybe it is my old age, but "It is what it is!" I definitely cannot control this one.

I don't think twice about walking in the rain, and only take an umbrella if it is teeming down (Gordie term, and one my husband's family uses in torrential rain.)

I did not even notice that June has been wet, and that the sun has not been out.

Call me crazy, but with things like Iran to think about, and on my way to General Assembly, the weather is a hang nail that can be cut off.

I often pause when someone complains about the weather, because honestly, I have not noticed.

Sally being Sally!

VQF - update and alert - not too much posting in the next few weeks

Wow, it has been almost a week since my last post. The big news is VQF - Vermont Quilt Festival. A and I went up Wednesday night and got back at 5pm today. It is an amazing group of quilts on display, vendors and quilters from all over.

Thursday I took a class called fantasy fabric. Using tulle (pronounced like the word tool), we created 9 inch squares, put thread, yarn, other fabric, ribbons and TINZL on the fabric and then put the tulle over it to trap it all underneath. Some of the TINZL is iradescent, and when you iron it, it changes color. You can also make a sandwich of other TINZL. My final project was a quilt of Channel One at Coniston.

Friday, I worked two shifts, so that next year, I can sign up for the best classes before the masses get to sign up. We also visited the vendors and admired photographed the incredible quilts.

Saturday I took an entirely different classes, thread painting. It took me 6 hours to make a tree and some bushes, but I learned the technique.

The great thing about VQF is that is gives you all kinds of inspiration for future projects. My favorite quilt store Portsmouth Fabric Company had a great Kaffe Fassett kit for a queen size bed. I walked by 10 times and on the 11th time decided it was too good to pass up. Pictures to follow when it is done.

To be among so many other quilters, mostly women, to experience the energy, to admire and talk about quilts for 4 days is rejuvenating. Onward to General Assembly, a few days of work and then Star Island. Kind of like being retired, which was supposed to happen on June 8th of this year. I love my job too much to retire just yet and I have to pay for next year's VQF.

Not too many posts in the next few weeks, unless I steal some time at GA.

Happy Summer

Leave it well enough alone - another life lesson

Some of this post only knitters will understand but here goes. I am in the middle of knitting a yoga bag. I did not pay attention and finished the bottom off wrong. My knitting group all agreed that it was fine, but I just knew that every time I looked at it I would know it was wrong.

Last night on the way back from Coniston I started taking it apart. Sometimes you can unravel knitting and it goes quickly BUT in this case (and probably 2 other times in my knitting career) it did not go well. I took out the cast off row, and that took until Montpelier, at which point I said "If I had remembered my scissors this project would be in danger." An hour of frustration building, and in my view an hour of otherwise wasted knitting time

By Randolph with the project in real danger I put it away. Murg was also falling asleep at this point, so I was needed to drive.

Always has to be a life lesson, sometimes you dig stuff up and it is helpful and sometimes it is not so helpful.

Just earlier that day I was walking out of church rolling a ball of yarn and there was a small entanglement. Someone looked at me and said "Ut Oh!" but my response was not just a wee knot, easy to work out, kind of like life. Well this HUGE knot later was not easy to work out, and still sits in my knitting bag, hiding from my scissors.

I have only thrown out one project like this in my life and I really like my almost complete yoga bag, so only a few rows are in danger of hitting the trash can.

The Magnet just gets stronger and I get weaker

Every time I think about Vermont, I feel incredibly pulled to live up there. I don't know whether I have described in this blog or not, but right now I am stalled. Not in a bad way just stalled. We have decided not to move up there for 2-3 years, that is the stalled.

As crap happens in the world like the shooting in DC this week at the museum, I want to retreat and go to my refuge, get away from people (hard to believe for an "E"). Every time there is more negative mortgage news, or real estate news, I want to retreat, plant my garden, get off the grid and wake up to Mt. Mansfield and Camel's Hump.

So for now the antidote to craziness is every other week up at Coniston. We have a wine tasting tonight, Friday, and I insist we drive up after that. For me it will be a wine dribbling.

Not enough Coniston lately . . . The magnet is pulling me to go early and stay late and make plans to have it be permanent.

I am just saying . . .

Another busy day, busy time

I cannot even breathe recently (SO WHY AM I POSTING YOU SAY?)

Yesterday was another day in the life of HR and of Sally:
Got to work early, but could not get work done I usually do because of visitors
Ran workshop in an onsite offsite around 5 Dysfunctions of a Team
Reacted quickly to employee who had allergic reaction
Quickly checked on Intuit Women's Network event - SRO
Got new hard disk back from IT and started to set up computer AGAIN

after work:
Dinner with old friend and daughter moving to MN
Cut out fabric for vest
Visit with another old friend from Star
Pick up B at Alewife
Work on a quilted vest due next week
Watched Jon Stewart
Crashed . . .

REALLY tired today

I am definitely being tested

This is probably one of the busiest and most tense weeks, of my life. In a hotel room in CA yesterday morning at 5:30am (coz I am on EDT still) my computer blue-screened. I first heard the whir of the hard drive, said "Ut, oh" and proceeded to get a disk i/o error. Damn

Fortunately, Intuit has a terrific Help Desk and I am typing this on a loaner that I get to keep until I leave for the red eye.

On top of that, the hotel I am staying in has no WIFI that works anyway. So for three nights I have been without my personal email, facebook and other internet abilities.

I handled all of this pretty well, I think. The training that I had to conduct yesterday, we could do because the deck was stored centrally, and I can do without facebook. It actually is good practice to be dis-connected from the web. I went for a long walk last night instead and swam in the pool right outside my sliding glass door.

Why do these always happen at the busiest time? Mercury retrograde?????

TLAs enough already or useful?

At work, everyone uses acronyms, TLAs (three letter acronyms). Recently a team was created that for exactly 4 hours we called the ancillary team. Believe it or not someone shortened it to A-team. At other companies, I would object to this use of TLAs, but somehow they are positive and useful here.

A recent hire, knew that CP1 meant something significant, and just waited long enough to figure it out. Even now, 2.5 years into Intuit, I sometimes lean over in a meeting and ask what one means.

It is a "secret" language in a way. There is even a database which has all of the TLAs in it for new hires and they are encouraged to add ones that they discover are missing.

It is such a part of our culture and you can resist for a bit, but eventually you find yourself talking in shortcuts and saying things like "secret sauce" and "true north"

These are all good because we actually are aligned and speaking the same language.

Nevertheless, I was really surprised the the A-team only took nano seconds to be a part of our lingo

My dentist is the Best

Fawn Rosenberg in Lexington is the most fabulous dentist. We have been going to her for probably 20 years now. Every time a major procedure is done, she calls that night to make sure you OK. She has never forgotten in 20 years. When you refer people, she sends you movie tickets, as she did recently for me.

In this day and age this is what sets apart good customer service.

I am sure this takes time, and a bit of time out of her family time but this touch is why I refer people and why I would never go any where else.

Today, I was reminded because she called about Murg's procedure earlier today.

The office is also very welcoming and warm. She apologizes for hurting you and keeps asking if you are doing OK. Need more Novocain? She is just an amazing dentist. Go there and tell her I sent you. We can split the tickets.

Happy Day

Memorial Day 2009

Growing up, I did not really associate Memorial Day with my grandfather, but in the last few years, in a more contemplative mood, I spend a lot of the day thinking about him. He died in WWII, in a plane crash in Alaska, where he served in the Navy Reserve. I never knew him but have heard lots of stories from Mom about him.

Today, I regret that I never knew Grampa Joe. I am so appreciative that he served our country and I feel badly for my Mom that she lost her father at such a young age. It was the last patriotic war, in my mind anyway.

My cousins who serve in Iraq now; I appreciate them and their wounds that will last forever. I appreciate R, J's brother who served in Iraq twice.

I think about the Vietnam Veteran's Wall in DC, one of the most moving monuments.

I have been very contemplative today, about all of this. I am glad we take a day, every year to remember those who served, and to appreciate those currently serving. I used to think that the VFW at the end of our street, would lose membership, but with the Iraq war producing many new veterans every day, I guess not.

Are you Kidding?

By the title you can guess this is a RANT. Yesterday at staff we had a discussion about a message that managers are going to have to give their employees. Working with engineers is an interesting job. They can get you wrapped around the axel so quickly with their numbers, and they can over-think and over-orchestrate a simple mathematical task. That however, is not why I started to write this post however.

As I think about responding to them, I start to have this internal conversation, and actually it does not all stay internal, surprise surprise (ENFP). So I am walking down the hall and out pops "Are you kidding?" I try to do this when no one is around. What I have found is that if I have these internal conversations or rants, then I can back track from there and be more reasonable. I have gotten out some of the emotions as well this way.

Someone asked me yesterday if I would like to be the one to communicate the message. Yes, if I get your manager pay for it was my reply. This after all is what they get paid to do. So if you hear me say "Are you kidding?" ignore it, just the overflow of an internal conversation really meant for only me.

Southwest is the Best

I flew Southwest recently and had an amazing experience. l love they way they load, I love that they don't charge for bags, I love the safety messages are personalizes. I love the humor. I love the color of their airplanes. I love everything about this airline and would always fly them over others. In this day and age, they set themselves apart from other airlines.

Dogs know what is going on

It is a mute point now, but when I was watching the Celtics and Bruins finals, of course I got excited. Poor Qammi thought I was angry with her. They don't understand words, so only go on the tone. I tried ranting to "Make that shot" or "What are you thinking?" in softer tones. That lasted for 10 seconds, after all this is a rant.

I was reading Jane Fonda's blog just now and she was talking about her dog knowing that something was up since she was packing stuff up to finish her Broadway show. I though a lot about the dogs in my life who give you that look like "Are you OK?" "What is up with you?" As recent as this morning on my walk Qammi gave me that look. I know the bikers must have thought I was crazy as I said "What, why are you looking at me like that?"

I think she wanted to turn around since she had done her business, and the next step was her kibble for breakfast. I have been increasing the length of my walks, and she pretends to be wounded on the away part of the walk, and hustles her buns on the return part of the walk. She is a great barometer for how I am feeling.

Who knows what she was thinking this morning? All I know is that dogs know what is going on and they love you unconditionally.

Ping Pong or Tennis Ball

Today, I feel like either of these. First I thought it was ping pong but as I thought about it I feel more like a tennis ball today. Some tasks I have to accomplish are slams, and some are very high lobs into the air.

This day is typical of a lot of my days but the image I had in the middle today was of a ping pong ball, with very little control over where I am going next.

In the middle of one meeting, I take a peek forward as to what my next meeting is, and try to mentally get ready for this next one.

I don't really mind these kinds of days, because my destination at the end of the day comes sooner when it is chock a block full.

Slam or lob next ?

Time Management and Folders a la Sally

I am on a kick to try to keep my inbox to one screen, so I don't have to page down. Because of this, I have created lots more folders. One of my folders is called READING, which is something I don't have time to do right now, but when I have discretionary time, I will read it. I laughed at myself just now, because I am NEVER going to get around to reading that article, but I don't want it to go away forever, on the off chance that I do get around to reading it. Believe it or not, this loose organization actually works for me.

Yesterday, I went to a file of URLs that I want to revisit, and actually looked through a couple. I found out that for the most part they are not relevant any more. This all leads me to believe that it is about letting things go. Why cannot I not just delete that article, or forget that URL? This is my safety net to know that I might be able to track it down through my URL file, or my READING folder.

I guess I could just have faith that if I really need to read it, the universe will send it my way again.

Update on Totten Pond Road / Winter Street Construction

Yesterday, I attended the annual meeting of the 128 Business Council. Intuit belongs, so we get an invite. This group provides a shuttle to Alewife to our office park, and will soon provide one from Waltham Center (Commuter Rail) to our office park.

The person who heads up road construction projects for Waltham gave an update. He was an excellent presenter and gave me lots of data I have never had about this bridge update. I still marvel that this project can take 9+ years (stalled with bad construction company for 4). It is supposed to be done Fall 2011.

Almost his entire presentation was pictures, of the update, he was very articulate and it eased my worry about never being able to drive to work for 10 minutes, without driving through 4 construction zones.

The other thing I realized at this meeting is how happy my job makes me. I love to come to work casually dressed. There were lots of suits at this meeting, Property management suits. I felt pretty under-dressed, but happy.

Last week, the Waltham PD came to video tape a Safe Biking session. I think about riding my bike to work a lot, but the last mile, either way I come is very dangerous. A biker pulled in front of me today, GOING THROUGH A RED LIGHT. Good thing I was paying attention. I would not be that kind of bike rider. I am a bike path bike rider so traffic freaks me out, coz I am not used to it. I may get up the courage to ride my bike though, which means I need to bring it back from Coniston.

Just to be perfectly clear

I have the best kids in the world. You guys can all try to argue otherwise, but your arguments will fall on deaf ears. I suspect that all mothers feel the same way "That they have the best kids", but for me mine are the best.

There is nothing that creates this kind of joy to see your kids launched and happy and different than you, but the same as well.

I now have 2 mother's day cards that will be on my bulletin board above my desk/sewing table, one from each kid. If I ever doubt that I am a good mother I just need to look there.

Construction - all at the same time

One could question my sanity, however, I drive through 4 construction sites on my 10 minute drive to work. I don't do highways, don't need to. I guess this is obvious, but do all construction projects start up at exactly the same time in the spring? They all sat dormant over the winter. I just wonder how the staffing works? Do all the workers get laid off in November and rehired in May?

I would think that since these are the only 4 intersections that I go through to get to work, that after they are done (well after I move from this area probably), there should be zero going on in that stretch of road.

I am a pollyanna. One of them has been going on for 6 years, stalled for 3 of that. The end of our street has been under construction for over a year, the Trapelo Road for at least 3 years and the Totten Pond, Winter street is the 6 year one

Gotta love a short commute, and the business of construction.

Snow, sleet, wide rain

Twice in the last week, I have thought it was doing one of the climatic events in the title. In all three cases it was pollen aka blossoms, parts of trees, being blown around. I honestly thought every time that is was not parts of tree, or bushes but snow or rain or sleet. It is so interesting what the mind does. I don't expect it to be bushes or trees, so my mind translates into what is usually expects to be falling from the sky. And no, the sky is not falling.

I really feel sorry for people with spring allergies. This time of year must be miserable. My poor Mini, has a yellow coating, instead of it's shiny red paint. What can we do with that yellow pollen. Dye things, eat it, compost it.

OK, enough tangents for now, and it really is raining outside right now.

Grey hair

I was reading something recently that talked about when women started dying their hair. I have to admit I have my Dad's hair in that I have 5 grey hairs, and might not go grey so I can not totally understand the whole dying part.

A friend B has cancer and lost all her hair. Her chemo wig is Grey, and her normal hair is not. This got me thinking about grey hair. It is not such a bad thing, just like dandelions are not such a bad thing.

I wonder if I had grey hairs, lots of them, if I would dye my hair? Don't know.

Another confusing conversation

Last week, S at work and I talked horses. She grew up competing and we talked about a lot including Chosen by a Horse and the new one Chosen Forever. I told her I would bring in the second one.

Here is the conversation we just had:

ME "I am on page 239."

S slight delay and puzzled look "Do you have 2 of them?" (Thinking I was still reading the book.

ME slight delay and also puzzled look "I am ON page 239."

S "How do . . . do you have 2 of them?"

ME Light dawns on Marblehead, "I am IN page 239 of the book, I AM IN THE BOOK."

S slight delay light dawns on Marblehead "Oh, you are IN the book. You ARE page 239."

Language is such an interesting tool, which sometimes works and sometimes does not. I am sure this is MBTI related.

Weeds - who says?

As I walked to D'Angelo's just now to get my lunch, I walked by some dandelions. Who says they are weeds? Weeds has a negative connotation. When Murg was trying to find me something lace for the lace anniversary, he went to a few local garden stores asking for Queen Anne's lace. By the third one, someone clued him into the fact that this is a weed. Not in our book it isn't, if it is good enough for a anniversary gift then it is not a weed.

Got me thinking about the old adage "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." So instead of weeds, we can call them flowers and if I want Coniston to have yellow dandelions at this time of year, that is what is blooming there.

I need to think about gardening now that I write this post. I "weed" the dandelions from just our front garden. That is just about all I can handle, and it is close to the street so not too removed from humanity.

So dandelions and queen anne's lace are flowers, or everything is weeds. Bottom line for me.

So much for the sleep bank

Damn. I really tried to go to bed early last night, but how could I turn off the basketball game. I would have been upset to wake up this morning and heard what an exciting game it was, and not "been" there. Murg threatened to block any sports channels until we catch up on sleep.

At 10 pm, as my eye lids were becoming very heavy and the words on the page of the book I was reading starting floating, I almost turned it off BUT WAIT, 2 minutes to go and the Celtics had done some catching up since half time.

1 hour later, and lids even heavier and now I have adrenalin flowing through my body, the game ends with 1 point difference, 3 OTs and the Celtics lose. OMG.

My main problem in this sleep arena, is that I cannot sleep past 6am, 6:30am if I am lucky. I am a lark. I try to sleep, ask Murg to not have NPR start at 6am, but it does not work. Too much training of getting up early.

So tonight, I don't care if there is anything happening on the tube, I am not going to stay up for anything. No Ellsbury stealing home, no Jon Stewart, nothing. Most Fridays I try to stay up for Letterman, coz I don't have "school" the next day. Usually I fall asleep at 10am, wake at 11:35 for Letterman, and go to bed without seeing him.

OK, enough, my lids are still heavy, BUT I have work to do.

Good night sleep works wonders

I felt badly leaving my evening meeting early, but I physically could not keep my eyes open. I have been burning the candle at both ends, and when that happens a 9pm crash is just what the doctor ordered.

I actually feel a bit "jet-lagged" from so much sleep. Kind of like when I gave up coffee a few years ago. For a few weeks, I was really to fall asleep 24/7. That wore off, I had no coffee for 6 months, BUT now am an addict again.

I really want to get the book HELPING that I heard about last night. Don't tell anyone, but I may do the B&N trick on this book. Find a couple of hours free (that is a challenge), go to B&N, buy latte, find a quiet cozy chair, get the book and read it there. I have only done this a couple of times. I know, stealing money from all those authors. Believe me, I have bought my share of books in my lifetime. We are trying to not add anymore books to the Coniston bookshelves, so if I can I get them from the library.

Speaking of the library, are all librarians grouchy? There are a few in Lexington who must have a really bad life to be so grouchy. One in particular this week, I went in to say that I had indeed returned a book, but it was showing up on my account and collecting fines. I HATE TO PAY LIBRARY FINES. SHE SAYS: NOPE, not returned, look under your car seat. SALLY SAYS: I did return it with 2 others books last week. SHE SAYS: OH, OK I will go look on the shelves. SALLY SAYS:"No, let me do that for you, I don't mind" (smile). Not up there."

SHE SAYS: Well as I said, go look under your car seat. I start to doubt myself. After I leave she talks in a stage whisper about those stupid "customers" who lose track of books. SHE SAYS: I know it is under her car seat. I actually looked under my car seat. Not there

This morning when I logged in, miraculously the book has disappeared from my record.

Now that I think about it, I bet it was under HER car seat.

OK, I have friends who are librarians and not grouchy or devious, but this one was. I hope she reads my blog.

Helping - interesting book and interesting concept

I just returned from an ODLG meeting hearing the author Ed Schein talk about his new book, "Helping"

I am too tired right now to fully process most of the thoughts from the book that I just heard about but I definitely want to follow up soon on these thoughts.

Some insights are that asking for help puts you in a ONE DOWN position. Offering help is not always what is needed in a certain situation. Don't offer help unless you know what the helpee needs or wants.

I often offer help, when that is not really what the other person wants. I do this to be helpful and to please. Good intentions, good reasons, but not always well received, or even necessary to offer.

Off to bed now, coz of too many late nights. I am requesting the book from the library and I am sure will have an update once I actually read the book and get into it.

Got me thinking

I follow this person on twitter. One of his latest tweets is to a blog post of his and I want to think more about it. It is one of those, that I think I get, but am not sure. If I post it here then I am more apt to go back and read it.

The way I learn is by talking about and doing new stuff. So I need to talk about this post with others, and do it, I guess. I do know that the more uncomfortable I am, the more apt I am to learn something. Yes, if I look inside, this post makes me uncomfortable. GOOD THING to pay attention to.

Would love comments about the post!!!!!!

Life is Good - Brilliant company and tag line

I recently bought 2 more Life is Good t-shirts. I bought one early on before their popularity and I still wear it albeit infrequently coz I don't want it to fall apart. There were certain places early on, that I had to wear it e.g. at least once at Star Island every year. Now that there is a t-shirt sold each year for that conference, I don't have enough days now to wear it, so it sits on the shelf for Star.

I often think, Life is Good, sometimes and sometimes it is NOT GOOD. If there were not good times and bad times, we would not have the comparison to know the difference. This is kind of like the Baby on Board signs. There is not always a Baby on Board, so the sign is a lie sometimes.

Wearing the shirt, when Life is NOT Good, is a prod to be positive maybe or a day turns bad and you need to change shirts. Maybe I can bring it to Star this year, and wear it to indicate when Life is Good for me. In that case, it would be worn out, but now that I have 3, I could alternate them.

I also wonder if in this horrific economy, whether more people are buying Life is Good gear?

So today for me Life is Good. It is Friday, and by big brother got Red Sox vs. Yankess tickets for G (older brother), J (sister-in-law of older brother) T (oldest younger brother) and S (me)

It is sunny, and we head to Coniston after the SIC meeting tomorrow.

Earth Day 2009 - my third major resolution

Today at work we have an Earth Day fair. In fact, I am sitting staffing a table right now on how to make non-toxic household cleaners. I shamelessly borrowed this from FPLEX where M and C have been driving this initiative during social hours and other church events.

My future Daughter in law, M was reading this book over the winter. I got it from the library and took it on our recent trip. TANGENT ALERT, the best time for me to read a book cover to cover is on a long plane ride or a weekend at Coniston.

TANGENT OVER: I did not totally understand why M wanted to plant asparagus but now I do. Up until now, I have pretty much avoided gardening. It is a solo activity and for an MBTI ENFP, there is not much solo in my life. Thanks to M for turning me onto this book. It is a really thought provoking book. Live off the land only with locally grown food for a year. Here come the chickens soon.

So I figure I will start by planting asparagus at Coniston now, and gradually grow a garden up there. The prior owner already had an herb garden, I just need to figure out what is what.

This is my third major GREEN resolution, that I have personally done. The other two are NO PLASTIC BAGS and bring my own coffee mug into coffee shops or to fill with water so NO PLASTIC WATER BOTTLES. Oh, I forgot, we stopped the Boston Globe daily paper, since more often than not it went directly to the recycle bin. I hope I am not personally responsible for the demise of the Boston Globe.

So, in a few years, I will be harvesting asparagus at Coniston, and this year we will have zucchini and tomatoes.

Happy Earth Day everyone!!!!

Trying to understand but I am not quite there

Since the pirate episode two weeks ago I have been trying to understand the pirate mentality. American kids dress up as pirates, and the occupation is one to be coveted by them, I think. The good UU way is to walk in someone else's shoes and I am practicing. I still do not understand . . . BUT I do understand. It is all about money. If we continue to pay them off, they will continue to "work". Bribes happen all the time all over the world, including the good 'ole USA.

Yesterday someone hacked my email account and send spam to my entire email list. What a helpless feeling. Who does this? What do they get out of it? Where is the money transaction for this one? I am going to continue to ponder this one, and try to be in their mind and walk in their shoes, but if anyone has any insight for me, it would be welcome. Happy Day, hopefully with less SPAM than yesterday.

Embarking on an Exciting Adventure - SIC Star Island Corporation

Tomorrow night will be my first Star Island Corporation meeting. Officially I won't be elected to the Board until the annual meeting on Saturday, but they did not want me to miss out on this first meeting, which was very nice.

I do a lot of volunteer work, and it was a real honor to be asked to server on this Board. I know it won't be easy, since there are always challenges. A wooden hotel, on a rock in the middle of the ocean in a very fragile environment. We cannot control the hurricanes, or lightening strikes, or squalls; the acts of nature. We can control our regulatory compliance but we cannot control the economy and what it might do to registration. It is an excellent staff. I served on the search committee for the CEO and recommended the job to the current Development Director.

With limited volunteer hours, since I am still gainfully employed, this is where I want to put my energy.

I am excited and a bit scared. Excited, because Star means so much to me and as I said, I am honored to serve. Scared, because this is a huge responsibility.

So tonight I will finish cramming, and read through the materials for my first Board meeting. "Star Island is my spirit's home". That is why I serve.

Mini reunion in Mesquite

This past weekend we traveled to Las Vegas and then drove to Mesquite for a mini reunion, where my cousin and his wife and my aunt and uncle live. Other than a brief severe health scare at the end of the last evening, we have a great time. We are all going to learn the Heimlich maneuver as mandatory training before our next reunion.

I will never be gambler. Slot machines the minute you de-plane and smoke filled casinos are just not my cup of tea.

These are my cup of tea:
Spas, massages, pedicure and Settlers with the cousins
Beautiful majestic countryside and vistas that seem to go on forever with colors
you only see in the West
Wonderful time with family
Sharing stories of growing up in Colorado
Hearing stories I forgot or never knew
Laughing so hard I cannot catch a breath
The smell of rosemary everywhere
Supporting our generation as the prior one faces increasing health issues

Don't ask me why, I just do

I am often an early adopter of stuff, technology and otherwise. I see cool good looking stuff and it becomes popular or a fad.

Facebook was not the case, I got an account because I wondered what it was all about but now I am pretty addicted. I am about to be in the largest growing demographics of Facebook users, women over 55. I am 55 sooooon.

Twitter is an example of "don't ask me why, I just do." I would not continue to use Twitter or Facebook or blog, unless I found some use for them. I don't login into Linkedin or Eons or Plaxo or Flickr or Picasa etc as often as I do YahooMail, Facebook, Twitter and then our internal to Intuit Yammer. That is the order that I check them in the morning.

Here is a pretty good link about using twitter which includes another link about what 5 things to do as soon as you sign up for twitter.

Facebook, I hear what is up with people. I have stopped for the most part taking those stupid 5 things and quizzes, although I do get tempted when I see a friend's results. I do have these blog feeds, automatically updates my notes in Facebook, so some of you have the opportunity to see this twice, as if anyone would do that.

Twitter, I learn what people are up to and often what they are reading or watching that is interesting, and in quick soundbites that I can digest quickly.

Yahoo, obvious, this is my primary email, although Facebook could easily take over if all my contacts were on Facebook.

Yammer, to find out what is out inside Intuit. How did our tax season do? What is happening at CTOF (Create the Offering Forum) who is complaining about our IT department AGAIN.

So, just like meetings, I won't continue to go to these places if there is not some value for me.

Busy times and fun trips

This time of year always gets busy. This weekend we are in Nevada at a deGanahl/Russell family reunion. These are the cousins that we grew up with on the Lazy EH Ranch in Colorado. I wish more of us could get there, but whoever is there is exactly who should be there I guess. We have another opportunity for a reunion in August, when my cousin Nancy's son Galen is getting married, so that means another trip to Colorado.

In June we are off to Salt Lake City for General Assembly, Star in July, England in September to celebrate M's 70th birthday and hopefully Thailand to visit B for Christmas. In looking at a map, we are pretty much halfway around the world when we get to Thailand.

There are times in our lives when we are busier than others, but it feels like we are ramping up for a busy few months. Not that I am complaining, coz it is all good stuff.

Sunrise Sunset

The most wonderful part of the day at Coniston is sunrise. I find it very difficult to sleep when I know that a gorgeous sunset is about to occur. As my Mom says "The sun is not rising, the earth is revolving to expose the sun" This was in her Buckminister Fuller phase. (BTW continuing this post the next morning and I could sleep through the sunrise this morning. Getting to bed at 12:30am contributed to my being able to sleep past 6:30am)

So, I got up at 6:15 this morning (Friday), with the birds, and Qammi, took my coffee grinder outside so I would not wake Murg up and the day started. The sun is rose to the left of Mount Mansfield. In December it was rising over Camel's Hump. One thing about living here, is we see the change in the seasons in more ways than temperature or what color the ground is. Our Channel 1 is so present, as soon as our eyes are open, and until our eyes close. Thursday night the full moon's path was visible out the window at the head of our bed, for most of the night. I snuck looks in my lighter sleep pattern. I digress however . . .

Coniston faces directly east, so unless we leave the house, our only hint of a sunset is outside the south facing window and it is only the hint of a pink/red sky. I wanted to see the sunset on Friday night, so we drove to Sunset View Road, and continued to the Grand Isle Ferry, parked and watched the sunset behind the Adirondacks. Since is was pretty cold, we continued to drive south hugging the lake and watching the shades of pink and orange change for nearly 20 minutes.

Often in Lexington, I see the sunrise on my way to work, and see the sunset over Lexington Green, but I don't stop and smell the roses, or watch the sunset the way I do here. And I doubt if I will take the time, once I am working full time up here or living here full time. It is hard to avoid seeing Channel 1 so it certainly makes it easier.

Daddy in 2009 and ipods

This morning as I plugged in my ipod for a day of work, I wondered if Daddy would have ever had an ipod. He died in 1995, prior to ipods. I guess he was an adopter of things if he could see a use for them. I don't think he ever accessed the internet, but he would have if he could have seen all of the history that is stored there. He poured over maps of the Civil War, and loved the details of many things. Frank Bunting who gave the eulogy at his funeral said he was a Renaissance Man, which he was. In this eulogy I heard for the first time that he loved opera and that he and Frank used to listen to it in "the backroom" aka Daddy's study.

So my image is that yes, he would have an ipod with opera on it and maybe an ipod deck in the back room that he could plug it into. Or maybe, he still has vinyl 78 or 33 or CDs and that is sufficient for him.

Murg is right about grief, you can do it in little bits every day. I miss him a lot every day, but now I have a new image of him walking around the horse pasture with ipod buds in his ears listening to La Boheme, and smiling, just a little turn up of the outside of his lips.

Yoga and sermons

Yoga keeps being a topic for me. After getting a tweet from A, a minister friend in the UK, his sermon got me thinking about happiness. His tweet was "Can you get ecstatic? Even for a moment?". I realized during yoga today that during yoga for split seconds I am ecstatic. The feeling of a muscle giving way or twinging, or the releasing of my sinuses in downward dog position.

Then today, as our help desk person walked by whistling I commented to him "You seem to always be happy, How wonderful is that?" The gist of what he replied is, that he hopes some of his positive energy rubs off onto others, if they want it.

I don't mean I should mask my less than positive energies or feelings. Too many years spent doing that

I just want to be on the lookout for those possible feelings of ecstasy and thanks to yoga and A's sermon, I am.

Happy Happy Dog and I am learning to take videos

I recently made an impulse buy of a Flip video. I was not exactly sure what I would use it for but I knew one thing I wanted to capture was Qammi, our chocolate lab as she does "her roll". At the beginning of almost every walk, and sometimes in the middle of the walk, she rolls. More than one fellow walker has commented, "Boy, does she look happy." This started maybe 4 - 5 years ago. I often think that we should all overcome our inhibitions and roll like she does, or do something in our life that makes us this happy. What is she thinking as she rolls? Why does she roll? Anyway, this combined with my amateur video production seemed like a good post. A picture is worth a thousand words. Excuse me while I learn to use my new Flip.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znINGFl8vfs

Too long away from Coniston

While driving to dinner last night both Murg and I agreed that it has been too long away from Coniston. We missed a weekend the week that Autumn died, and last month was a 5 week Sunday month. I don't feel as centered, I feel like there is something missing in my life. We have gotten into the habit of being there every other weekend, and we got out of that habit by missing one weekend. If I had planned it better we could be up there this weekend.

What this all says to me is that a year ago, going on a lot of intutive decision making, we made a really good decision. We might not have been so eager to own a second home this year with the financial crisis.

Also at dinner last night we counted our blessings. Good solid jobs, fun vacations planned for the year with family and friends, wonderful kids who are not kids any more but more like grown-up friends, wonderful spiritual communities.

Yes, we are very lucky AND I believe that we all create our own destiny, so it is some luck and some intention. For once in my life I feel like I deserve to be this happy and fortunate. Now, I just need to get back up to Coniston to see that sun rise from behind the Green Mountains, and to take a deep sigh and realize that I have come home to Vermont.

ʎɐp sןooɟ ןıɹdɐ ʎddɐɥ

˙ǝʇısqǝʍ ǝɥʇ oʇ ʞɔɐq ǝɔɐɹʇ ɐ puɐ ǝʇɐpdn ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ɐ pɐɥ oɥʍ 'ı oʇ sʞuɐɥʇ sı ǝƃɐssǝɯ sıɥʇ ˙ɟǝıןǝɹ ǝןʇʇıן ɐ sı sıɥʇ 'sʍǝu ǝɥʇ uı dɐɹɔ ǝɥʇ ןןɐ ɥʇıʍ ˙ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ʎɐp sןooɟ ןıɹdɐ ʎddɐɥ 'ooɥ ʎuɐ ¿sʍouʞ oɥʍ ˙ɯıɥ puɐɯıɹdǝɹ ʇouuɐɔ noʎ ʇɐɥʇ ǝןıɯs ɥsıdɯı uɐ sɐɥ ǝɥ ǝqʎɐɯ ˙ǝɔɐןd ɟo ʇno ɹıɐɥ ǝןƃuıs ɐ ɥʇıʍ ʎɐʍɐ ʇǝƃ ʇou pןnoɔ sn ɟo ʇsǝɹ ǝɥʇ ˙ʎuunɟ ʎɹǝʌ sɐʍ ǝɥ ʇɥƃnoɥʇ uınɾ ǝɯɐpɐɯ ˙sɹǝdɐd ɥɔuǝɹɟ sıɥ uo spɹɐʍʞɔɐq ǝʌısɹnɔ uı ǝɯɐu sıɥ ǝʇıɹʍ oʇ pǝsn sǝןɹɐɥɔ ɹǝɥʇoɹq ʎɯ ˙ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ʎɐp sןooɟ ןıɹdɐ ʎddɐɥ ˙sıɥʇ ɟo ʞuıɥʇ ʇou ı pıp ʎɥʍ 'ʍoʍ

and the website in case I ever need it

http://www.whatsmyip.org/upsidedowntext/

Words of wisdom from Forrest

Yesterday I went to All Souls UU church on the upper east side of NYC. It is a really beautiful church. Forrest Church preached a great sermon. During it he mentioned that he has said these before but since this was my first time hearing it, I was pretty struck.

Remeber 3 things he said:
Like what you have
Do what you can
Be who you are

I was with A at the service, and she wrote them down to give to her son who is about to graduate from college. I said them over and over to myself so I would remember them. I knew A had written them down as well. I did not want to lose this nugget, so now that I have blogged it, I will know where to go in case I forget.

NYC - great long weekend

This is just how we think and it is amazing how in sync we usually are. We were invited to attend a donor recognition event for our beloved Star Island, and the options were in MA or NYC. The weekend for the MA one was one of our VT weekends, so we said "Let's attend the NYC one and make a weekend of it."

I am sitting on the Bolt bus for our return bus trip and I have to say we fit a lot into the weekend. In somewhat chronological order here is what we did:

*Left 8:30 pm on Thursday night from South Station
*Arrived at Midnight at Penn Station and cab to Pod Hotel on 51st between 2nd and 3rd (Try it sometime, very small funky room, but exactly enough space for showering and sleeping, which is all you need a hotel room for anyway)
*Walked to Times Square and ate a light bite at 24 hour restaurant across the street from Lindy's. We were headed to Lindy's for the obligatory cheese cake but they were closed at 1:30 am. The nerve . . .
*Home to bed, clock said 2am, but it had not been changed from EST to EDT, we actually went to bed at 3am and got up at 9am the next morning
*Bought 1-day metro pass (we did this all 3 days) and traveled via bus to Natural History Museum. Spent most of the day there with a short break to have a bagel from H&H. I loved the gem and mineral wing.
*Walked back across Central Park to our hotel,(79th across the park, then down Madison to 51st and I might add, there were no Starbucks on Madison in all of those blocks) freshened up, and took bus up to Yorkville to dine with the Mays
*Walked home from East 83rd to 51st since it was 20 minutes before the next bus and we had planned to get on the bus when it caught up with us. This never happened. Just a few 32, short blocks
*Down the next morning to Greenwich Village, bought cheap but good stuff at a street fair, after breakfast at diner
*Up to the theater district to see Jane Fonda in 33 Variations (GO SEE IT)
*Quick dinner with friend who is chairing All Star II this year.
*To the donor recognition dinner on Central Park West.
*Back on Subway, finally had obligatory Lindys's cheese cake
*Crashed into bed
*Up this morning to breakfast, I went to All Souls and a quick brunch with 2 friends. Rod walked over to 8th and 9th then to MOMA
*Lunch at Rockefeller Center, poked around in some more shops
*Took subway to 34th and caught the Bolt bus.

Yes, we packed a lot into the weekend. We saw some friends and missed seeing some others. Not enough time in the day to catch up with everyone. Next time.

One of our dreams/plans is to live in NYC for an extended period 6-12 months. Each time we go for a long weekend, we explore areas we have never explored before. We have learned to take the bus coz you can see the neighborhoods. We have learned to not take the bus around matinee time. We got off and walked to the theater and beat the bus by many minutes. The diversity and unique areas are infinite. There is a lot to see.

All in all it was a great time. I AM EXHAUSTED.

Yoga the next phase

My friend K recommended the Book "Breakfast with Buddha". I am 3/4 of the way through it and really love it. Last night I was reading about a yoga class that the 2 main characters in the book participated in. The non-yogi explained a feeling lying in corpse pose, which is the final meditative part of a yoga practice. In a discussion the yogi explained that he is in that state, almost all the time. Maybe, all the time. I cannot remember those details.

So, it got me thinking about 2 things. 1) I need to meditate in small doses. 5 minutes in our covenant group, every other week, and 5 minutes in yoga class twice a week. In a 4 week month that is 50 minutes. My friend Laura said once "I don't do math in public." but per that last sentence, I guess I do. I am going to try to put more meditation in my months.

The second thing I have been thinking about is the non-violence training that I went through a few weeks ago with 300 other Lexingtonians. Our training helped us take spewing foul language for 45 minutes, and to not react. This has helped me not react to others as well. It has really helped me realize what my baggage is, and what others' baggage is. With the WBC, it was very clear that their spewing was their baggage and it was easy to leave it in the middle or Worthen Road. With this new skill, I can NOT react to situations whereas in the past I might have reacted is a not very healthy way.

Both of these thoughts are very cleansing to me.

Worry - I continue to explore this one

Within the last year our covenant group explored the topic of WORRY. At the time, some brilliant member said "Worry is the misuse of imagination". I have repeated that to many folks during the year. Some have even put it on the signature of their email.

BINGO - yesterday on Twitter, and I am not sure of the origin or I would give them credit, I found another quote. Not a better one, just another one:

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow - it empties today of strength."

So as a closet worrier, or maybe a not so closet worrier, this one helps me move the needle on my exploration of worry.

Burying my grief in a shuffling Ipod

After my last post, I took our dog for a walk. My iPod is on shuffle, so the first song was Ave Maria, Pavarotti and friends. It was kismet that this was my first song. As I always do with my favorite songs, I rewound that song 3 times. Then came on Alan Sherman 12 days of Christmas. Back to back Pavarotti and Alan Sherman, huh? Yes, my preferred mode of listening is shuffle. It validates my ENFP MBTI type. The last song as I walked up the front steps was put on by C, last year for my birthday, a Phish.

Night grief is made easier by:

rising sun
walk with the dog
shuffling iPod
laughing at myself

Too sad to sleep

Rarely do I have insomnia. Last night, or rather early this morning I did. I slept until 2:30 am but then thoughts of sadness invaded my pillow and I could not get back to sleep. After Daddy died my sister and I had an agreement that we could call each otnher any time of day or night that we wanted. I think we both took advantage of this at least once. In the middle of the night to be so alone with grief is really hard. Or maybe that is when grief work is best. Cannot be distracted, cannot go anywhere with it.

Usually when I cannot sleep I do a really silly routine. This is it. When I graduated from college, my cousin from Colorado, her best friend and my best friend from college and I went to Europe for 6 weeks. It was a really great trip. So when I cannot sleep, I go through that trip chronologically. Mostly, I remember briefly the town we spent that day in. I don't usually get past the 4th or 5th night before I am asleep. This works for me, counting sheep does not work. Last night I tried this routine twice, but my grief would not be fooled by silly routines. So at 6am it became legitimate to get up and here I sit on the couch, watching stupid early moring TV, with my chocolate lab asleep at my side. It was a long night of unsleep.

ICA - wonderful sunny day

This morning we went to the Barn and cleaned out Bee's locker. We walked up the hill to see where Autumn is buried, took a video of the view that he has and cried and cried and cried. There is an endless amount of tears we can cry it seems. The woman who was leasing Autumn showed up, with some flowers for his grave, right after we started clearing out the locker. She was devestated as well, and she has only been riding him for 2 months. On Monday, the day before he broke his leg, she took her husband to meet him. "Are you sure they don't want to sell him?" he asked her. It did not take very long for him to work his way into her heart.

We went by our local equestrian shop to buy racks to put our saddles on in our back shed, took K's car to the airport (Bee had been in NC with K and A when we had to call to tell her about Autumn).

As a distraction, and because we are members, we decided to go to the ICA. This is a wonderful museum BTW. Shepard Fairey's exhibit is incredible and another video "THEM" by Artur Zmijewski was excellent as well. We are already planning on going back soon before some of the exhibits leave. Then we walked into the North End and had a nice early dinner at a traditional Italian restaurant. Home by way of the T and a cab.

Murg is off to see Watchman at an IMAX near here and I am going to go to bed early. This is a result of buring the candle at both ends all this week, and some restless nights. Grief like this disrupts your equilibrium. A visit to the ICA helps as a nice distraction from this grief, AIG, CNN etc.

A Surreal Week - we cannot write the script

This week has not turned out as I expected it to. Briefly, on Tuesday our horse Autumn broke his leg and we had to have him "put down". As a parent this was one of the worst experiences ever. We have had him for over 7 years. During those years, Bee rode him 5-6 times a week. Lately, since he stayed here for Bee's second year of college, Rod has been riding him twice a week, and someone else at the barn has been leasing him.

Making the decision was difficult and saying good-bye to him was heart wrenching. I used work this week, as a distraction, but driving home today to face the weekend, I realized how surreal it has been. Pretty much since Tuesday night, I have just been putting one foot in front of the other. I actually have been pretty productive at work as a way to keep the grief at bay.

When there is a death of a loved one, all kinds of memories come back. The first time I saw him, the first time Bee fell off, the cross country course where they both galloped up a hill with huge smiles on their faces as they realized they could indeed do this, that same show when Bee took a jump without stirrups because she lost them, Bee's senior teen chapel when she talked about all that he taught her, them cantering in the rain after we moved to Huckins and Denise made it clear to Autumn that he was going to behave, GMHA and watching him and her master the 3 phases, those hours of watching her and him work hard and develop into a single unit, her saying at their first show "Where do I get off sitting on top of a 1200 pound beast and thinking I can control him?", a picture we took of him in the trailer after that show stretching out his lips and showing his teeth, and on and on and on . . .

He was supposed to retire to Coniston with us. We talked frequently about where the horse barn and paddock would go.

But as my aunt told me "We cannot write the script."

This is a week that I will never forget and it is very familiar. I felt like this after Joe died and I felt like this after Daddy died. I wondered how I could ever feel vaguely normal again. I wondered if I would ever stop crying.

I think the hardest part of this week has been watching my child and husband go through such a loss and realize that there is absolutely nothing I can do to help or console them.

We are staying home this weekend when we would normally be at Coniston. We need some peace and quiet and time to grieve. We need to light the candle at First Parish Lexington.

St Patrick's Day - different traditions - what was yours?

Growing up in Colorado and Vermont, on St Pats day if you did not wear green you got pinched. Kids can be pretty mean to each other. I just assumed that this was a universal tradition. However, sharing at work just now, 2 folks who grew up in Boston did not have that tradition, but a mid-westerner did. One of the Boston folks, who is Italian said they used to wear orange on St Pats day. What is that all about?

So in the spirit of the name of my post I am wondering what traditions others had on St Pat's day? Pinching or orange? or something else . . . ?

Please share!

Shields and non-violence training

Our community stood in unity and solidarity on Friday when the WBC came to town. 340 of us formed a line for 45 minutes, in front of the HS in a "shield of loving kindness". Halfway through the spewing of hate and disgusting language shouted through the bull horn, we all turned our backs on the protestors and faced our youth who were getting out of school. On our backs were bumper stickers "Power of Silence".

We stood in silence for 45 minutes, holding hands, in two long lines between the spewers and the students. We had been trained in non-violent action. During the training for 2 minutes we had to not react as another role player screamed at us, in language that was similar to what we would hear during our non-violent action. The training was actually worse than the event.

WBC is very punctual, they arrive when they say they will, and leave when they say they will. We remained silent in our lines, while the 8 of them got back in the mini-van.

As they turned the corner away from the HS there was a quiet cheer among the participants.

What I realized about 10 minutes into standing there, is that every muscle in my body was tense. I was on high alert. As soon as I realized this I relaxed my muscles. 3 days later my muscles, from being tense for those 10 minutes, are still sore.

This is a bit of a rambling post, but being trained in non-violence is really good for the rest of my life. I am more able to listen to people without reacting, and I am able to wait until they are done before I form a rebuttal. As I consider difficult conversations, I am able to listen, and look right through the person who is speaking. I am able to just not react. This will take lots of practice.

It really was a gift to participate in this silent action. The non-violent response is a shield I carry with me going forward.