The perfect wedding and transitioning to a new generation

The last few weeks have been pretty with the planning and executing the plans for the wedding held yesterday at Coniston.  I talked with my Mom a lot during the last two days about transitions.  Hers from being the mother of the bride or groom to the grandmother and mine transitioning to being the mother of the groom.  All of the past family weddings I have been a sibling, bride or friend.  This was very different.  As I  walked down the aisle I honestly thought, "Why are they looking at me, the bride with be along in 60 seconds?"  I also laughed when at the rehearsal the minister said "We will save the chairs down in front for the old fogies" and I pointed at myself and said "She is talking about me!"

The three days before the wedding were a flurry of family involved in activies at Coniston.  Wiring done by brother Charles, flowers down by Peg and Ruby, English family entertained by George and Judy while we dined at the Blue Paddle Bistro with the wedding party.   Our English family helped get the tent set up, set up tables and lent many extra hands to the effort.

The ceremony was perfect for this couple.  The wind blowing through the delicate fabric strung over the arbor could not have been done better in a Hollywood movie. 

I was fine with the crying bit sort of. . . until I saw my son with tears standing under the arbor, and then saw my daughter in tears walking back down the aisle.  I could not even look at Rod for most of the ceremony, if I wanted to see the rest of it.  It was a "two hanky day", and we used both of them.

And then the party began!  The DJ played music from 4 - 9 pretty non-stop.  Both families have people who love to dance.  The obligatory Coniston bocce game was played by the wedding party (in all seasons, we play bocce on the front lawn with our guests), and coming from a family of pyromaniacs, the bonfire really lit up the night sky.

Our neighbors have a daughter who invited herself to the wedding and arrived with her Mom in tow later in the evening.  She asked if she could talk to the bride, she danced with the bride, and took home a caramel apple and a napkin with the names of the bride and groom on it.  This was her first wedding.  It was interesting to take a step back and see a wedding through the eyes of an eight year old.  She left saying "I cannot see them right now but say good bye to the bride and prince for me."

This was the first wedding of the next generation of cousins on my side.  They were all there, and we in our generation talked a lot about what kinds of weddings they will have.  What kinds of impressions did they take away from watching their oldest cousin/brother get married?  Do they remember attending their first wedding?  Did they talk to the bride or dance with the bride and talk home that special treasure from the wedding?

Coniston is changed forever now that we have had a wedding here.  The arbor is permanent and the holes drilled for the tent stakes are permanent.  The tent is not permanent except in our memory.  This afternoon, when flames from the bonfire erupted (YIKES, I thought the fire was out) Bee looked at it and said "Their love is still burning."  May the memory of the bonfire and the music and the family and friends and the bocce game carry us forward to the next wedding memories we create.  Who will be married next?

Doing more of what you want to do

Doing more of what you want to do, came up as a theme at our most recent covenant group.  This cause me to think about whether I am actively doing this or not.  The answer is maybe and maybe not. 

I very deliberately decided that this summer I would play a lot more golf than in recent summers.  I held true to this and played at least twice a week with two different groups.  I played at 7:04am yesterday morning, and on my drive home I fantasized about dropping by Pine Meadows to play another 9 holes for the day.  It is getting too late to play after work, BOO HOO, but watch out for next summer.  I will be upping the ante on golf.

I want to get more exercise, and this is a tricky one.  It needs to be built into my schedule or it slips away.  If I walk right after I get home, and get into that habit I will probably be successful.  If I wait and pretend that I am going to walk after dinner, the probability of success decreases.  Remember, I am a morning person.

Lately, because of a certain day in September when our son gets married, I have been preoccupied with wedding stuff, so my quilting has been dormant.  Need to get back to that after the wedding.

In terms of volunteer activities, I am doing what I like to do there.  I am on the board of Star Island Corporation, and hopefully having an impact keeping our beloved spiritual community viable for my grandchildren.

Yes, and at work, I am doing what I want to do.  I still love my job after 3.75 years and cannot imagine even looking for another job.  Oh, there are some days when it is not terrific, but compared to where I might be, this is perfect for me.

The older I get, the more I do what I want to do.  I have less tolerance for obligations or mediocre activities.  Should a, could a, would a, do not do much for me.  So, more golf, more quilting, more exercise, more Coniston, more family and friends and less of everything else . . .

2010 - Summer of golf and learnings

No, the summer is not yet over, even though Labor Day weekend begins in a few short hours, but I figure I would post this while the thoughts are fresh.

I set out this summer with the explicit intention to play lots of golf.  I regularly played on Monday night with women friends and on Thursday mornings in the Intuit golf league.  Don't cringe, but we teed off at 6:06 for the early birds and 7:03 for those who slept in. I also try to play in Vermont with my family the weekends we are up there. 

Before this week, when my club really started connecting with the ball I used to be baffled at how some of my compatriots could lose so many balls, and not know where their balls had gone.  I was not hitting the ball long enough to ever lose any balls.  The only place mine ended up was in the H2O.  In fact, I have had the same pocket of balls for years, because I never lost them.  This week I ran out of that pocket of balls and started playing with new fresh pink balls.  I had one drive this week where I actually lost a ball in the rough.  I had another drive on the 7th hole at Pine Meadows, where I usually drive just over a hill.  This week it was way far down that hill.  I could not believe my ball went that far. 

It is very exciting to be improving.  My score is not drastically better, but my drives are consistent and getting longer.  Practice, practice, practice does improve your game.

I am no longer baffled about how I could possibly lose a ball in the rough.   I am not surprised that my drives are longer and more consistent.  I knew entering the summer of golf that if I played this much I was bound to get better.  It is too bad, for my golf game, that fall is approaching.  Maybe a winter vacation to a golf destination is in order.  

Just not sure some technology is more efficient - IM and texting

As I was IMing with a colleague yesterday this thought that is the title of this blog post came to me.  Before IM, you would walk to the office next to you, or pick up the phone and talk live.  Those conversations might not have been efficient but I suspect they were more efficient that some of the IM "conversations" I have seen or been a part of.  Additionally, IM lets you remain a bit detached from the person, where you cannot read innuendos or body language.  There is so much room for misunderstanding.  Having said all of this, IM and chat have become such a big part of our communication.  Why?  You don't have to get up and leave the task you were in the middle of is part of the answer.  It is quick and can bring remote workers closer is another part of the answer.  It allows multi-tasking is another reason.

Walking around the office and hearing the clicking of the typing and the bell sound notifying someone of another IM causes me to ask, is this really more efficient?  I bet some of those conversations should be live ones or at least phone conversations. 

I often am in the middle of typing an IM thread and stop myself and pick up the phone or suggest a live conversation when we are both free to avoid bad communication or misunderstanding.

I know that IM does provide some convenience which is why we do it.  You can quickly get information when you are in the middle of another meeting and that person can reply even if they are in the middle of another meeting.  For this, it is valuable and efficient, albeit distracting.

Texting has also entered our culture as a method of communication.  I "get" texting.  You can send a message, and the person does not have to be there, and can answer at their convenience.  A quick message or question that can be read on your own time is not as disruptive.  It is like voice mail, if you really don't want to talk to someone, you can text them.  There is still abuse with texts, when in fact conversations should be live.

So I wonder what the next technology will be?  What will replace IM and texting?  What other multi-tasking activity will be banned while you are driving?