Patience and Acceptance - quilt update

Anyone who knows me well, knows that patience is not a strong suit of mine, but rather impatience is my strength.  When I embarked on this challenge in January 2015 I knew that I would be pushed to a level of quilting that I had never dared travel.  Each month I would receive in the mail, the latest packet of fabric for the next block of this quilt.

As background, I am not a detailed quilter.  I choose patterns, that are easy and elegant and I buy beautiful fabric that covers up the mistakes I make because of my lack of attention to detail. Until this project that is...............

Over the years I have learned techniques to ameliorate my lack of attention to detail.  In the third block of this quilt I learned about a scant 1/4 inch seam and used it for the rest of the quilt.  I also have used a technique to line up seams for about 10 years that definitely helps in my accuracy.  But truth be told, I cannot be bothered to get more detailed than these two methods.  I LOVE the quilts that I have created with all of their beauty and blemishes.

Some changes happened during the last few days with "Breakthrough" (name of my quilt).  I became more patient with myself and did not judge my skills.  I accepted that I will never be one of those detailed quilters who win awards for their sewing.  I actually stopped sewing when I felt frustration coming on and got up the next morning to find the solution right before my eyes.  I asked for visual and artistic help from my artist husband, accepted the input, and then told him when his job of advising me was done.  I also do not have to quickly move to finish this quilt.  I won't abandon it as I did in the last 8 months.  The next major part is to put the borders on, which requires a certain amount of accuracy and learning from my mistake with the last big quilt I made, I need to pay attention.

I left the quilt out on the floor, and walked by it 30 times during the day and realized that I am pretty happy with the result, with my patience with myself and with the quilt.

I also did some seam ripping on this quilt that I would have glossed over in the past.  There were two areas that obviously had to be fixed or I would not be happy.  The solution in both cases made it so my eye did not go straight there.  These represent my interpersonal work.  I am not perfect, never will be in fact.  Just as everybody else, I am doing the best I can with the hand I was dealt and the tools I have.

I am on a roll with "Breakthrough" and will be pausing any work on it for the next week.

Nancy, my first and longest friend flies in today from Nebraska and we are traveling to our family reunion in Vermont.  When we get together we revert to 5 years olds again, and we also act as the wise 62 year olds that we have grown into, if only for a brief fleeting moment.  In Vermont we will be joined by many other family members, those close to us, those we last saw as teenagers, and those we have never met.  It is great to have done this work on patience and acceptance as we travel north to be a part of this larger family gathering.

Breakthrough - the name of my latest quilt

I tend to quilt for a variety of reasons.  However, in January of 2015, 19 months ago, I decided to do a block of the month quilt.  The company sends you the pattern on the first month and then monthly for 10 months you received a packet in the mail with the next month's fabric and more detailed instructions.  I was really good the first few months, or so I thought.  I finished the big part of the block, but there is piecing around each of those big blocks and I decided to wait until finishing future blocks to finish the small piecing.  This was going to be a huge challenge since I would have to be more precise than I normally am, and I would be learning a lot of new patterns, and the color arrangements would be a challenge.

In retrospect this was a big mistake but not really.  In the middle of the 10 months, life got ahead of us as we sold a house, downsized by 2/3 of our material goods, bought a condo, had a wedding, went to another wedding, had 5 English visitors, blah, blah, blah.  Life got ahead of us.

Of the 10 blocks, last December 4-9 were finished, but there were those pesky first 3 blocks unfinished.  I literally did not roll out my sewing machine from December until last week.  I was incredibly stuck on this project to the point where I could not even fathom working on another easier project.  It wasn't that I don't have a stash of fabric, or ideas of what I want to work on next.  Every time I opened the closet where my rolling sewing cart is, and thought about figuring out how to proceed I was flummoxed.  I probably tried 3-4 times to actually figure out how to proceed by laying out those pesky 3 first blocks.  Nada

Last week in a flash of "Oh heck how hard can this be just start somewhere and proceed, and BTW, it does not have to be perfect.  No one knows how the quilt is supposed to look in the end and when has that every bothered you anyway?"

At the same time I am working through some past trauma which is painful and predictable.  As I worked through some of the pesky issues of the quilt blocks, new insights about my past popped open.  One quilt block at a time I started placing them on the floor and sewing them together, and squinting and observing how I liked the layout.  A few times as I said "Close enough!" it felt good to move on.  A few times I looked and said "No way" and out came the seam ripper.

A few days of this with the quilt laid out on the floor, I am very close to the end of those pesky 3 blocks.  There is one section that remains in disarray.  I may have to settle on good enough for that section or I may put the quilt away again to approach at a later time. There is no deadline for this quilt, just like there is not a deadline for when I have to finish this examination of past traumas.

I can say that on both accounts, the unfinished quilt and dealing with the trauma, I feel so much better than one week ago.  As my brother George says "You have to go through it rather than walk around it!"  Literally I have to walk through the middle of the quilt laid out occupying one big area of our condo.

Learning to free motion quilt through frustration

If I were like my husband I would not be as frustrated right now.  He once said that he does not golf because he wants to know how to play before he gets to the golf course.  I laughed quite a bit saying "How will you ever learn then if you won't go out until you know how to play?"  I am eating my words and fabric right now.

Over several years I have pursued learning how to free motion quilt.  I stipple quite adeptly, however, I want to refine my quilting skills and not just do the same easy stippling every time.

I took a class, I browse a website, observed others quilting, bought some tools to make it easier to quilt and I have a practice piece that I have been working on, that is not a real quilt, just a test piece.

So today, I took a REAL quilt, and started to do some of the new techniques that I have practiced, read about, and studied.  I thought I was ready to pursue a big quilt.  HA HA HA!  Wait, I need to go to this step in order to learn.

However in my endeavors, I have made every mistake possible.  I continued to quilt with a loose bobbin causing puckering, I quilted double layers of quilt for an entire star design and I am doing designs that are too complicated for the square I am putting them in.  This is how I learn, by making mistakes.  My most recent mistake is a rookie one but boy is it a big mistake and a big learning.  I have spent about an hour ripping it out.

Fortunately I did not start this project on a quilt that I really care about otherwise right now I would be in tears.  This quilt will be my sampler of learning free motion quilting.  That is what samplers are after all.  They are for practicing.  How will I ever learn how to better free motion quilt if I do not practice?  I could continue to send my quilts out to be quilted but I want to take my quilting skills to a new level and I know I will be happy with the results.  That does not mean I won't need my seam ripper or that this quilt will be given away.  No, it will be hung in my sewing room to remind me of my learning style.  Off I go to rip out some more......

Getting Stuck on a Quilting project

For a variety of reasons, I get stuck on a project.  Right now I am stuck because the piece of fabric I bought for the border is too dark of a teal color.  I could charge ahead and install that piece but it would ruin the flow of the piece, so I am waiting.  The quilt is lying on my design "wall", aka the floor of my sewing room.  I want to leave it out so that I don't forget to finish it and so that I am sure to buy the right color teal the next time.

While I sorted my fabric yesterday, I also put a few piles of fabric down, with the pattern on top for my next few projects.  They are not stuck, they are just not started yet.

Truth be told, some of my works in progress are not really stuck, they are just stalled in that phase of production, and sometimes are too low in the pile to actually see them.  When I sort my fabric I happen upon these little surprised, "Oh, I remember that project, I wonder if I have the pattern?, and I wonder if I know what I am doing next?, and I wonder if I really ever want to finish this one?"

I actually am being patient with myself in this stuckness.  If I plunge ahead, I will put in the wrong piece and will be upset with myself.  If I wait long enough the right piece will emerge from the universe.

For now, I walk into my sewing room and there are piles of projects laid out, and works in progress lying in the design "wall".

Oh the fun of being a textile artist, and of having the right space in which to have chaos that sometimes get converted into order.

I Quilt when there is a weather disaster

Today as we await the arrival of Hurricane Sandy, I sat down at my machine to put a border on my latest project.  For the quilters in the audience, I am attempting a Flying Geese pattern in the border of a Yellow Brick Road pattern.

As I sat sewing today, I realized that at least two other memorable quilting projects have happened during a weather emergency.  It is not surprising that I am inside and therefore think of quilting.  It must be my comfort "food".  Oh, I eat my comfort food as well.

The first quilt I recalled was one I called "Shattered Comfort" since it was a quilt that I made after 911, when the images on the TV were just too much to handle.  I listened but did not watch.  This hangs in George and Judy's house.

 

The second one was the original quilted jacket.  I had bought the kit and pattern in early December of either 2000 or 2001, and a few weeks later we had a major snowstorm.  Out came the pattern and fabric and I am pretty sure I finished the jacket in a few days.  The original is on the left and Judy's New Year's Eve jacket is on the right.

The lesson I am taking from this is make sure there is an unfinished project at all times, in case there is a natural disaster.  BTW, that is not the only reason to have unfinished projects.  My preference in Myers Briggs is P, and we usually have a stack of projects which are 90% complete.

Off the work on this latest natural disaster quilting project and listen to the wind outside while sewing in the comfort of our house, as long as the electricity is still on.

Bee's Buzz around the World

Bee's graduation from Long Island University/Global College(LIU) was this past Thursday. It was a glorious sunny day. The morning ceremony was the pomp and circumstance portion of the day. In the afternoon all 20 students from Global College presented aspects of their senior thesis, to their friends and family. It is amazing what these 20 young people have done already in their short lives.

For her graduation I made the quilt in this photo. It is titled "Bee's Buzz Around the World". The color of the background represents the saffron color of the monks' robes. The peace flags are the 5 countries she studied in. The picture is of her at a meditation retreat with Burma in the background. The world picture has the logos from the two colleges that she attended, appliquéd on the picture of the world. The pewter bees are from Danforth pewter, a Vermont company. The elephant is a print from a linoleum block that Bee made in girl scouts in 5th grade. Elephants have been a theme in her life forever. I recently learned how to make a block print, and on the back of the quilt are two blackbirds. Blackbirds are the mascot of LIU.


It was a cathartic exercise to design her wallhanging in the weeks before her graduation. The time flew by and she packed a lot into 4 years. She made some lifelong friends at both Hampshire and Global College. She grew academically and personally. She learned to be more flexible, and she confirmed what it is she will contribute to the world. She buzzed the world, and spent the last five months in Brooklyn finishing her BA, while learning to navigate the NYC area.

Her internship was at a Friends agency in Newark, which focuses on immigrants' rights.

Stay tuned as she lives out her values in whatever she chooses to do. I am one proud mama.
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Thankfully I am married to a snorer

Ok, most nights I would not relish being married to someone who snores. In fact if we were not at Coniston I might still be poking him to stop. Instead at 4:22 am, after being awake since 3:09 am, I decided to move out to the couch in the living room. Channel 1 and the stars and night sky is just incredible. It feels like I am a part of the sky.

I always love the sun rises here, in fact the first year we owned the house, I got up every morning I could to watch and sometimes photograph the sunrise. The picture on my blog is to remind myself about how beautiful sunrises and sunsets are.

So when I got up to come onto the couch my mind was a flurry of activity. I am in the middle of a few sewing projects that I brought up to Coniston this weekend and I just started a good book. Is it too early to start the day, with my normal cup of God's nectar, AKA java? As a retiree, I don't have to worry about being rested for work. Being tired with a rotary cutter is another story but I will be careful sewing.

I will try again to go to sleep on the couch, but if I cannot sleep, then it does not suck, to watch the stars fade and to see the sun rise over Mount Mansfield, or as my Mom helped us understand growing up (through her reading Buckminster Fuller), the Earth turns to reveal the sun, the sun does not rise. Another Mom memory!

The eternal optimist turns a snoring husband into a good thing. Will I remember this back in Lexington?

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Finishing UFOs

Occasionally, I have a burst of energy, and peruse my pile of UFOs (unfinished objects), or in the case of knitting, my bags of UFOs. This week, I discovered a stack of bags buried deep in my craft closet. Two projects, I did not know the needle size or what pattern I was using. Fortunately, Ravelry has all of my projects entered, so I had that the means to get this data.

It feels good to finish a boat load of projects, but last night this feeling came across my mind that I might not have enough projects in progress. This happens to me, the feeling that I need to have a few, or more than a few projects going at all times. When I travel I make sure to always bring more projects than I need. No surprise, I always pack my knitting first in my suitcase.

In this time period, I started a small knitting project, and finished it.

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I have no UFOs? I doubt it. This is like spring cleaning, or as close to spring cleaning as this house is apt to get!


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Creativity is a process

At the Vermont Quilt Festival last year, I took a class which was much more design than quilting. Of all the classes I have taken this one has helped me the most.

I am making fabric collages lately, just 8.5 inches by 11 inches of fabric to design a journal quilt or fabric collage.

Since that class last year, I have been more comfortable with the process of design. Some of my collages may never be done. One in fact has been on my kitchen counter for a few weeks. I walk by and every time one part of not is not working. I kept trying to make it work but it never will. I had to replace one of the pictures and did not really want to do that. Finally today I found another picture that will work, printed it and overlaid the first picture. It works almost perfecting with some fabric fudging.

The lesson for me is to not settle until I am satisfied with the design and to listen to my design self. It may never be finished but don't settle for mediocrity. The teacher emphasized that in our class we may not leave with a product but the process of design is the important part. I am learning and by leaving it out and walking by it with a quick glance it let's me continually assess what I like and what I don't like.

This is probably crystal clear to artists but I am just now getting comfortable with the design process.


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Mistakes Happen

I love it when this happens.  I was cutting out fabric today.  For those knowledgeable about quilting I was cutting out fat quarters.  I grabbed the next fat quarter, and cut it into 9 strips.  YIKES! I had cut it the wrong way, e.g. The fabric was oriented 90 degrees off.  I am having to piece the fabric anyway since it is just a bit too small.  

In reality the way I had mistakenly cut the fabric was a more efficient use of the fabric and will require less piecing. If I paid more attention to details, which I don't, and triple checked how the fabric was oriented I would never have found this better way to cut the pieces.  Fortunately I found this out early in the project.  This is not the same as making lemonade with lemons.  This is a case of finding a better way by accident, by mistake.  

It is similar to innovation where you try to look at things turned upside down or reversed.  It in fact encourages me to not continue to do things the same way but to try a different way which might be better.

My first inclination was to yell at myself for making a mistake but in fact I ended up complimenting myself for finding a more efficient cutting method, and I will be more inclined to experiment next time and make a few mistakes because, mistakes happen.


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Grief 15 years and it still catches me off guard

Just now walking down the hall, as I planned my next project, I was thinking about rug hooking.  I took a rug hooking class in Middlebury VT over 15 years ago, and like many of my classes, I have done little with it since then.  Recently I moved all of the rug hooking materials to Coniston because I think it is more likely that I can have time there to work on it.  I also found a shop in North Hero which has the same exact rug company products which sparked a new interest for me in rug hooking.  Then, I saw a quilt at Vermont Quilt Festival, of a map of Vermont and all of its counties and BINGO, my next rug project will be a map of Vermont with each county a different color.  This is how design works for me.  An idea percolates for a while and then BINGO, walking down the hall the idea comes to me.  This happened with my alphabet quilt projects a few years ago.  For a few years I imagined an alphabet quilt with the square a fabric piece that represented the letter and the letter appliqued on it, e.g. Apple fabric for A, bumble bee fabric for B, etc.  Then I saw this exact design is a quilt book, bought the book and produced multiple quilts of this design.  Nieces, nephews, auction winners at both First Parish and Star were recipients of this quilt design.  But I digress . . .

I was staying with Mom and Dad when I took the rug hooking class.  After I returned to their house one of the things I needed was a frame to put the in-process rug in.  They gave us a rudimentary design during the class that I explained to Daddy and a few hours later he produced it from his work shop.  He was like that.  A mere suggestion of an idea or need, he disappeared and came back with it. 

So why, almost 15 years after his death, just thinking about that rug frame, do I suddenly burst into tears?  Is it because I was caught off guard?  Murg said once that he grieves every day the loss of his parents.  This was my moment today to grieve the passing of Daddy.  I have the rug frame though and this weekend that design of Vermont counties will probably be on it.  Thanks Daddy!

I understand better how Software Engineers organize their work now

I returned Sunday from 4 days of immersion into quilting at VQF (google it) and a mind full of ideas for my next quilts.  Some many ideas, so little free time and a fabric stash that will long outlive me.  BTW, if you want me to leave my fabric/yarn stash to you when I die, drop me a line.

Last night, after work and golf, I have great intentions to sit down at my machine and finish one of the projects from one of the 3 classes I took at VQF.  I looked at the 5 unfinished projects and was paralyzed.  Which one could I put 15 minutes into and move along?  Was the right thread in the machine for any of them? Are there any deliverables that I have for any of them?

A concept that we have talked a lot about at work is how much time software engineers spend actually coding.  Their ideal span of time for coding is 4 hour blocks, and our management schedule is 1 hour meetings.  So, if they get in to work at 9am, and see a 10am meeting, they are reluctant to get started because it might not be the right block of time. 

That is how I felt last night.  I needed at least an hour to get to work on something, and being the lark that I am 10pm at night is not the right hour to sit down with a sharp rotary cutter and scissors and a sharp machine needle.  Accidents happen when you are tired around sharp instruments.  SO, I did nothing on the projects and tried to organize my fabric stash so that when I am ready, I can grab the right fabric. 

Maybe tonight I can find a 1 hour block of time.  I entertained getting up at 5am to put an hour in this morning, and actually almost did get up and do that.  My excitement for finishing those projects and starting up some new ones might actually get me up at 5am one of these mornings.  For now, I am admiring my unfinished projects, and planning my new ones and strategizing to find 1 hour blocks to sew.

Gloucester museum and visiting Star friends

Yesterday, I drove up to Gloucester to visit with B and J. After swimming in their very warm pool, catching up on our lives, and eating a wonderful lunch by the pool, B and I drove over to the Cape Ann Museum of Art. B, who is becoming a docent at this museum, knows that I am a quilter and there is an exhibit right now of a quilter Clara Wainright. Here is a link to one she did names Gloucester Fisherman's Wives Quilt. She has also exhibited in a small museum in our backyard, Decordova.

Many of her quilts have a social action or political statement, like the Fisherman's wives one. Clara also is published in our UU World magazine for her work with quilting in communities in a collaborative way. If I did not have a need to be back home I would have spent the afternoon there. The exhibit closes on June 20th, so I am going to try to get back up there.

What I was left with yesterday is that in our own back yards are wonderful art treasures stored in small museums. This museum has a sea coast origin so there are ship models, and sea paintings. Gloucester and Rockport are known for their artists, so you can only imagine the talent encompassed in this place. I also thought a lot yesterday about how artists often make a political statement by expressing that statement through their art.

BTW, right next door to the museum, is a glass bead maker shop. Again, I could have dropped quite a bit of money in that shop if I had some time to shop. Another reason to go swim with B, and top if off with an afternoon at the Museum. I will go back!

Quilting Project log jam broken

I don't know why I get stalled with my quilting but I do. At Vermont Quilt Festival this year, I realized that I didn't have any BIG quilt projects going. In fact, I bought a quilt kit at VQF,to make another Kaffee Fassett quilt for Coniston. We need more quilts up there in the winter.

Yesterday, I went to visit C who is a fellow quilter. She has a terrific quilt store right around the corner from her house, so of course after sitting on her dock, catching up, watching Qammi swim and swim and swim, we decided to visit Quilters Stash. I forgot how many batiks they have. In a few minutes I realized the color of my next quilted jacket, and about 20 minutes later, I was ready to check out. That was Saturday. Today, Sunday, I have all the pieces cut out and am just about to start the assembly.

So WHY? Was it the camaraderie of shopping for fabric with someone else? Was it the fabrics that sparked some inspiration for my next project? Do I not prioritize my time to have time to quilt? Do I really need another quilted jacket? Wait, wait, wait, I don't think you can ever have enough quilted jackets.

So given my history, this project will be an obsession for a couple of weeks until I am at last wearing it. The colors are fall colors, so just in time I will have a new one to wear. Pictures to come soon of my new jacket.

VQF - update and alert - not too much posting in the next few weeks

Wow, it has been almost a week since my last post. The big news is VQF - Vermont Quilt Festival. A and I went up Wednesday night and got back at 5pm today. It is an amazing group of quilts on display, vendors and quilters from all over.

Thursday I took a class called fantasy fabric. Using tulle (pronounced like the word tool), we created 9 inch squares, put thread, yarn, other fabric, ribbons and TINZL on the fabric and then put the tulle over it to trap it all underneath. Some of the TINZL is iradescent, and when you iron it, it changes color. You can also make a sandwich of other TINZL. My final project was a quilt of Channel One at Coniston.

Friday, I worked two shifts, so that next year, I can sign up for the best classes before the masses get to sign up. We also visited the vendors and admired photographed the incredible quilts.

Saturday I took an entirely different classes, thread painting. It took me 6 hours to make a tree and some bushes, but I learned the technique.

The great thing about VQF is that is gives you all kinds of inspiration for future projects. My favorite quilt store Portsmouth Fabric Company had a great Kaffe Fassett kit for a queen size bed. I walked by 10 times and on the 11th time decided it was too good to pass up. Pictures to follow when it is done.

To be among so many other quilters, mostly women, to experience the energy, to admire and talk about quilts for 4 days is rejuvenating. Onward to General Assembly, a few days of work and then Star Island. Kind of like being retired, which was supposed to happen on June 8th of this year. I love my job too much to retire just yet and I have to pay for next year's VQF.

Not too many posts in the next few weeks, unless I steal some time at GA.

Happy Summer

Vermont here we come . . .

OKAY, the excitement in our house is unbelievable lately. We drive up on Thursday night to go to our closing on Friday.

Both Rod and I are so ready to move there permanently that I wonder if we can condense the time period. In the meantime, we are going to spend every spare weekend minute up there.

I have been riding my bike every night up and down the bike path, getting myself in shape to ride the Burlington bike path, we have packed 20 boxes to take up there, we are planning which weekend to take the beds and couches up, bought new silverware, etc.

Some key questions around milestones will be:

• When will we be there enough to buy sheep and chickens?
• Will this be our Thanksgiving / Christmas house?
• Where is Rod's tree house going to be?
• What yarn and fabric stash should "live" in Vermont (already made the decision to bring my Featherweight up there)?
• Should I have 2 piles of books that I am reading, one in Vermont, one in Lexington?

Oh, the never ending questions??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Surprised again, for the second time

I have been totally surprised twice in my life. The first one was on my 39th birthday. I had threatened close family and friends with death if they did anything on my 40th birthday so they surprised me on my 39th. I thought I was going to a play with Rachel and instead it was a surprise birthday party.

The weekend after my last post, at the jacket reunion, there was the second surprise. When I can get a picture of it I will post it here but briefly, many of the women that we have taught to make the jacket, secretly for the last few years have been making a quilt out of blocks that contain the fabrics from their jackets. They made 2 quilts, one for Amy and one for me. The quilts are absolutely amazing. The potluck was an opportunity to get together, and they presented the quilts part way through the evening.

Part of my baggage is that if I have something so special like this, I don't want to use it. Not this time. The quilt is on our couch and on these cold winter evenings, I have been crawling underneath it, feeling the warmth that our jacket community has given to me and everyone else involved.