Got my fix today

Today we left the house at 7:30am to drive to South Hadley to watch B compete in a horse show. We have not seen her compete since last May. I really miss seeing her on top of a horse. At one time in our lives, we drove together 5-6 times a week to the barn. For only 1 year the barn was 10 minutes away. For the other 7 years it was 30 minutes away. Then she started driving herself, and I had to detach gradually from watching her. At the time, I really missed it, A LOT. Kind of like when Crick stopped playing baseball. I pine for those days, every time I drive by a baseball field.

So, yes we are crazy. We drive 90 minutes and sat for 6 hours, inside a big barn, with a breeze blowing through us. We did get up to stretch the legs a few times. I am always nervous when she jumps, but today she was perfect during her jump class. It was also great watching her as the co-captain of the team. Helping the newer members get more comfortable. Urging them on when they were obviously nervous. Helping them mount. The first time the trainer said who wants to help Susanna get on, B jumped up and went with them. Is she going to give her a leg up? No, I think she was holding the horse while Susanna mounted. Mara was giving the leg up. I suppose she could give a leg up to some riders but at her barely 5", is is nearly impossible for some of the taller horses.

So many memories came back today of really early (4:30am) wake ups to drive to shows and sitting and watching and waiting. It does force you to slow down and just appreciate what is going on around you. It is magical the relationship between the rider and the horse.

At Bethany's first horse show with Autumn, just before she went into the ring she said "What right do I have being on top of a 1200 pound animal, and thinking I can control him?" The answer is that she has worked really really really hard to establish that relationship and now competing at the collegiate level, she rides a different horse each show, and usually one she has never ridden before. She did really well today in her flat class, with a pony who gave other riders a bit of trouble.

I could go on for a while, but I will stop now. It was a great day and for now my need to see her ride has been satisfied.

Your FLAIR says it all

In facebook just now, I added a piece of flair and look at my bulletin board. It brought back lots of memories of why that flair ended up there.

I decided to take a screen shot and date it as a record. I just added "Stop Whining" and "I survived 2008".

My friend K in Hawaii send me lots of flair, which I appreciate. I know I got "Motherhood is not for Wimps" from her and the Boston Celtics shoe when they won last year.

I have them loosely organized into categories, but I would never have them all lined up. I bet some SJs out there have them all organized in lines or alphabetically.

The knitting and quilting ones are obvious.

My favorite book is Le Petit Prince.

This collection is so obviously me, as is the entire Facebook account.

Happy Friday, and BTW contrary to my previous post I really mean TGIF. Stuff happen in between 7:30am in the morning. I won't need a wee dram tonight but a nice glass or red wine will be perfect.

TGIF - But not really just glad that the "work" week is over

TGIF has such a bad connotation. I am really glad that at the end of today, I will have 2 days in front of me that will be filled with socializing and my hobbies. As I think about it I get to do that at work, so how is that different. No, I don't knit at work and it would look pretty crazy to set my sewing machine up in my office, and my meetings are not a church service or reconnection with my FPLEX community.

So the hobby I get to do at work is relate to people and help me and them solve issues that arise either through listening, brainstorming, nudging, observing and just being me.

J gave me a quote on Tuesday and is is now in my Quote of the day archive. It has helped me be a better listener in two tough meetings this week. That is a hobby of mine, to always be learning about myself and continuously improving. The engineers among you will debate whether this is a hobby or not, but THIS IS MY BLOG, so this is a hobby.

SO I don't say TGIF today, in the mundane definition and usage but rather, onto the weekend and a continuation of what I really like to do with my life.

Distracted again

In conversations with a colleague yesterday, we talked about reading business books. His point of view, is that when he had kids, he stopped reading business books. He met 2 weeks ago and in a co-interview with another manager the other manager asked "What business book have you read lately?"

A few years ago, after looking at my bookshelf, I said "NO MORE BOOKS"! I will get them from the library if I am going to read them. Yesterday we were talking about the 5 Dysfunctions of a Team

I read this book 3-4 years ago and it is getting some traction inside my company, so I figured I should go back and read it again to reacquaint myself with the content.

Then I thought about the book Distracted

I talked about this book in a prior blog. Recently I brought the button from that conference into the office and its sits on my computer desk, as a reminder to think about the concepts from the book. So I have read a business book lately, and I am going to reread the 5 dysfunctions as well.

It is important in this day of blogs and twitter and facebook, to do some old fashioned reading, and I do not mean kindle reading.

Today is a 2 bottle day - and I mean bottles of wine

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Seriously - we know what we are doing

The excitement in the middle of February in the Hero Islands is to walk on water. Frozen water that is. When we get up to Vt we always score a Seven Days which is the social calendar for the Burlington area. While browsing through it yesterday morning Murg noticed Great Ice

Yes, this is what we do for excitement in the great white north. We did not attend the christmas tree bonfire but I sense a yearly tradition coming. Bonfires are like a pilgrimage in my family, but I digress as usual . . .

We discussed footwear before we left the house and I chose my trainers/aka sneakers since my merrills don't have the arch support and snow shoes are clunky and there was not quite enough snow for them. I borrowed x-country skiis last time we were up here and will buy some soon but don't have them yet. Perfect choice BTW.

Qammi, charged onto the ice and easily ran 2 to 3 times longer than we walked. The walk was 2 miles out to Knight Island State Park. When we got 1/2 there, and I guess she could not see either bit of land, she started to run diagonally toward the closest piece of land. Unless we had called her back I am pretty sure she would have kept going. We arrived on Knight Island and we think she thought we were done with the walk. Due to running so much, both her back legs were shaking. Enough for her. The funniest though was when we started back. She looked at us with the same look when we start a fire in the wood stove. "YOU HUMANS ARE STARTING A FIRE INSIDE"!!! My instincts say this is a BAD thing" The first time she would not come into the house and to this day whenever we start a fire she keeps an evil eye on us and will not come very close.

She kept running back toward Knight Island, since she was sure that was the destination, and she was tired. Eventually we put on the leash and coaxed her along with the words "Really, Qamm, we know what we are doing, this time!" At the halfway mark, we took off the leash, but it was not until she could see the shore that she started running toward the North Hero side.

Granted, it was pretty confusing. People on skis, skates, sleds, walking and snowmobiles, were going in both directions.

Our dog has great instincts, she barks sometimes at strangers, knows that fire should not be inside the house, and knows when she is tired she should look for the shortest distance home. I would not count on her as a guard dog or guide in the wilderness.

It was a really fun event, and I can see a big party next year at Coniston to walk on water and go on a pilgrimage to a bonfire. We come by it honestly. Daddy loved fires and probably walked on water in his day.

Not Used to unresponsive people

So Intuit has really spoiled me. At this company, when you send out a request via email or telephone, you usually get a response. When people don't respond right away they apologize. The person who does not respond really stands out. Even people who do not know you reply quickly.

This behavior has trained me to not have to remember that I called someone or emailed them, because they reply.

I take that knowledge into my non-Intuit space and get really disappointed at lack of response. I have sent emails twice to people that I need to find out information from for the virtual work project that I am on at work. I attended a NEHRA workshop that they gave on virtual work. I emailed them 6 months ago and then last week. STILL NOTHING.

Knowing my Myers-Briggs I should be more "go with the flow", it is OK to drop the ball on things. Sometimes the task actually gets forgotten and goes away. My mantra is "wait long enough and people will change their mind on whether they need you to do that task".

So, I am still waiting and if this info was mission critical, I would figure out another way to get it. I am just disappointed and not used to unresponsive people.

Traces of the Trade

So this is a looming personal growth opportunity for me . . .

Last year at General Assembly in Fort Lauderdale, I attended a session delivered by a man, Tom Dewolf, whose family were slave traders and slave owners. I bought his book and it sat about 75% read, beside my bed.

After the sermon at FPLEX yesterday by David Pettee (David gave a session at GA in 2007), I got home, and made a bee line for the book and nearly finished it.

I think some of my delay in finishing it is, now I have to do something more. The book is the intellectual task. Now I need to really face the fact that my family as well, were slave traders and slave owners.

The minister yesterday and the author of the book made the trip to Ghana to see where the slaves left on ships to come to the US.

I think eventually I need to do that as well, but before that there is lots of research I need to do. Some of this I did last night with my brother, asking him questions about Hugh Hall who was a rum runner aka slave trader. I am a seventh generation Sarah Hall, and am descended from Hugh Hall.

I actually have the bed that Hugh Hall brought from Barbados for his daughter, the first Sarah.

So, as I said this is looming over me, and I need to make some plans.

OMG - my Brain so full after yesterday

Yesterday, I attended a NEHRA conference. The first 2 sessions I went to were unbelievable. The third one not so good . . .


This one on trust was presented by Michelle Reina. 2 comments that she made caught by attention in the first 5 mintues

"In all relationships trust will be built and trust will be broken" WOW, so this is not an abnormal thing. This is part of doing business with our fellow homo sapiens. The important skill is to learn how to rebuild trust, and acknowledge and name when it has happened.

"90% of behaviors that break trust are unintentional" WOW, so my mantra of ASSUME POSITIVE INTENT gets reinforced again. It is hard for me to always remember this.

The second presenter, I called her the Brain Lady, first went over the brain make-up, and the hormones that work with the brain. The topic was coaching managers, but with the brain stuff as the backdrop. In order for managers and us as well to change behaviors, we actually have to rewire the brain and replace the old habit with the new habit in the pre-frontal cortex (PFC).

I am sure there will be more posts about the conference. Brain is very full and needs to process all I heard.

Yoga is NOT for control freaks, or maybe it is

OK, so during Yoga today, I had this realization that with the leader guiding me through the hour long session, I had released a lot of control over to her. Also, during that hour as parts of my body released energy or twinged, I did not really understand why that happened but just went with it.

Last week on a day when it was yucky out, and I had planned an evening yoga class, I instead stayed at home and put on a yoga CD. It was not the same but it was a good substitute. With no peer pressure at home, I could walk out of the room, and not do that pose. I did not understand some of the poses, so I was listening a lot more to the voice than I usually do at the YMCA during my session.

So, I am sure a lot of control freaks would NEVER do yoga, but for those open to it, it is really good to practice letting go for an entire hour at a time.

Counting blessings - and Gay marriage

As each news article comes out about more lay-offs, more foreclosures, blah blah blah, I realize once again how lucky we are.

Yesterday in the church service, a couple renewed their vows in front of the congregation. Gary also asked people in committed relationships to stand up starting with 50 years, 40 years, 30 years, 20 years, 10 years. It was pretty wonderful to see the number who stood up in each category.

The president of the congregation gave a moving testimonial about moving from Oregon to Vermont because of civil unions. Vermont is in the midst of trying to up their ante to legitimizing Gay Marriage. I spoke with a lesbian couple during social hour, and asked what I could do. Write to my South Hero legislator and write to the governor. I can do both of those.

I always do this, but at the service I thought about recently divorced or those who are not in a relationship.

I don't always think I deserve to be this fortunate or this happy. I am waiting for the other shoe to fall all the time. In an attempt to be mindful, today I am counting my blessings and putting some energy into Vermont's gay marriage journey

STOP - Not Done with Winter Yet

This is just not fair. I am not done with winter yet. As I sit on the couch at Coniston waiting for the rest of the house to wake up, I can hear the dripping of the snow from the roof, and the mound actually can be seen under the snow. Our ice sculpture which was installed on New Year's Day is in it's last day. This is just not fair. It is only February 8th and I can see the start of the end of winter.

Yesterday when the plow guy was here and I marveled at the piles of snow that he was creating he said "They are getting pretty big" to which I responded, "Yeah isn't that great."

I guess this confirms that we made the right decision to buy a retirement house in Vermont. We have been through almost a year of seasons and I still love it here. Granted we have not seen mud season yet, BUT honestly how bad can it be. A pair of wellies and we will be all set.

Yesterday Rod and I donned our cross country skis and went out into the meadow in front of us. I am making sure that my fragile knees can continue this sport before I invest in a pair of skis, and he did his best to obliterate the tracks in some places. (You can ask him for the details, since that is his story)

At night with clouds but almost a full moon we went for a walk with C and M and A and Q. We walked down Fox Crossing which is the road right across from Phelps Lane which leads to the causeway/bike path. All of the houses on South Street connect to the Lake but they are all PRIVATE ROADS. Of course at night, even with the moonlight we could not see the sign (tee hee hee). There are at least 4 beautiful houses down this road and we turned back when Qammi in her exploration turned on a motion detector light. We then walked down Allen Point Road which is another PRIVATE road. On both of these roads, if they weren't private we could get to the causeway on our bikes. Instead we ride 1.5 miles around. Not a big deal really.

Back to Coniston for games: this weekend it is Settlers (of course), Acquire (a game that A and his uncle play and he has a brand new box of) and Apples to Apples (which C and M had never played before)

Off to the Burlington VT UU church, back here for a few hours and then home.

It has so far been a beautiful winter weekend at Coniston, BUT I still don't like that it is melting, and that I can see the ground in a lot more places . . .

Don't tell everyone this - taking notes

OK, so there are a few people on this earth who I don't want to know this. And you don't know who you are so it does not matter.

Lately, when people drive me crazy. . . . Come on, you know what I mean, we all have people who drive us crazy.

Instead of engaging and letting them bug me, I have been super diligent about note taking. Not the typical Sally, but instead, heads down capturing every word. I Akk-cherr-ley (see my current Facebook post) started doodling but that seems rude and does not seem like work to everyone, so instead I look really really really busy. My usual behavior is to engage and get really aggressive, and instead I am turning that aggression toward my notebook.

Don't worry, it can handle it. I want to get to the end of this notebook anyway, because I have another style that I want to start using.

Make sense?

I am a Connector and a Problem Solver

We all do things so naturally, that we don't realize they are a gift. I naturally connect people and things. I am constantly brainstorming and solving people's interpersonal issues. Recently, at coffee with L, she was talking about her business and how she needs to find a place to have a silent retreat. BOOOOOOM, I suggested that she use Coniston. It is working out, and she is traveling there is a few weeks.

Yesterday at a career fair I was talking with another booth participant. He flew from CA on the red eye, and was leaving at 3pm to go back to CA. His boss told him, go find some MIT interns for the summer. WOOOOOW, I could be the university relations person for him. I could learn enough about his business to attend these east coast career fairs, and save him the flight and time. He actually gave my business card to their HR person, with the idea already communicated. I knew that because the HR person fed back my idea to me with some improvements. This might be a good retirement job. Travel and work at the same time . . .

Some professions that are good for my skills are recruiting and matchmaking. I don't do too much of the latter.

I am also a very good problem solver. I keep brainstorming ideas until a good one comes up. I actually have to keep the lid on this one sometimes, because it is not a venue for problem solving but rather just venting.

So, every once it a while it is good to reflect on what you are good at, and to make sure you are doing enough of that in your job and personal life. Myers Briggs is a good way to figure this out as is self reflection.

Frost Nixon thoughts

We attended the play Frost Nixon last night. Yes, we missed the Superbowl! and we did not cry one tear at all. We actually watched the last 1:07 minutes of the game. That was all we needed to watch. However, I digress . . .

When the Frost Nixon interview was going on; I was newly married the first time, and clueless about what was going on in the world.

On the way home from the play, I reflected a lot about what went on for me from 4th grade; 1963 through 1977. Kennedy was shot, Bobby was shot, MLK was shot, civil rights and women's rights, Vietnam War, Watergate, Woodstock, acid, drugs. In a very influential period of my life a lot happened. I wonder if I was numb at the time (1977), or just adjusting to my new life of being married? I also think that all people have lots happen for them during their influential teen and young adult years. My Mom lived through WWII and my kids have lived through 911 and Gulf Wars.

The play was excellent, and I want to see the movie now. I also want to read some Nixon biographies to find out what was going on for him at the time.

All in all the play was very good and caused me to think a lot about that era and where I was at the time.