Thursday, March 31, 2011

Finishing UFOs

Occasionally, I have a burst of energy, and peruse my pile of UFOs (unfinished objects), or in the case of knitting, my bags of UFOs. This week, I discovered a stack of bags buried deep in my craft closet. Two projects, I did not know the needle size or what pattern I was using. Fortunately, Ravelry has all of my projects entered, so I had that the means to get this data.

It feels good to finish a boat load of projects, but last night this feeling came across my mind that I might not have enough projects in progress. This happens to me, the feeling that I need to have a few, or more than a few projects going at all times. When I travel I make sure to always bring more projects than I need. No surprise, I always pack my knitting first in my suitcase.

In this time period, I started a small knitting project, and finished it.

I wonder if there will ever be a time when I have no UFOs? I doubt it. This is like spring cleaning, or as close to spring cleaning as this house is apt to get!


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Sunday, March 27, 2011

Creativity is a process

At the Vermont Quilt Festival last year, I took a class which was much more design than quilting. Of all the classes I have taken this one has helped me the most.

I am making fabric collages lately, just 8.5 inches by 11 inches of fabric to design a journal quilt or fabric collage.

Since that class last year, I have been more comfortable with the process of design. Some of my collages may never be done. One in fact has been on my kitchen counter for a few weeks. I walk by and every time one part of not is not working. I kept trying to make it work but it never will. I had to replace one of the pictures and did not really want to do that. Finally today I found another picture that will work, printed it and overlaid the first picture. It works almost perfecting with some fabric fudging.

The lesson for me is to not settle until I am satisfied with the design and to listen to my design self. It may never be finished but don't settle for mediocrity. The teacher emphasized that in our class we may not leave with a product but the process of design is the important part. I am learning and by leaving it out and walking by it with a quick glance it let's me continually assess what I like and what I don't like.

This is probably crystal clear to artists but I am just now getting comfortable with the design process.


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Thursday, March 24, 2011

The opposite of faith is certainty - Anne Lamott

I saw this quote on my friend E's Facebook and it caused me to stop in my tracks. This is much more succinct than I have been trying to articulate recently.

Recently in our covenant group I have been trying to get members to be OK with uncertainty. Uncertainty of what another member means by what that person just said. Uncertainty that you understand their entire life history. Uncertain of what a reference means.

During covenant group, if we try to be certain of all of these, it stops the flow of the person speaking. It might inhibit someone from saying what they want to, if they are going to be questioned, or stopped, or queried.

A covenant group is not a normal back and forth conversation. It also is not like a thesis defense, where you have to back up with facts, what you say. One ground rule is that you cannot challenge what someone says. That is their truth at that point in time.

So this quote helps me quickly say all of this. It also helps me understand what faith means to me and why this ground rule is so important for our group and for the development of my faith.

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Yes, BUT I am not getting paid for that

In a conversation with my brother M, I was aghast again at how differently someone reacted to how I reacted. In fact yesterday the number of times that happened to me was astronomical. He asked,"isn't that what you do for work, understand differences?". I replied, "Yes, but I am not getting paid for this."

It is so easy to coach and advise others on differences between themselves and others, often using Myers-Briggs. It is near impossible to do it for myself especially when I get emotionally involved, AKA hooked. This is especially apparent when I am in charge and being challenged by that person. Don't they see that I am in charge and have 51% of the vote. I don't like to pull the trump card but I will.

So, yes this is what I do for work, understand differences, and point them out. Thankfully there are people in my life who will do the same for me. And I laugh at myself for being human.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Eternal Optimist?

I sometimes struggle with this.  Am I really the eternal optimist or is it a mask for an eternal pessimist?  Three occasions recently convinced me that I am an eternal optimist.  The first was pulling out of our driveway after a record amount of snowfall for the winter, and saying "The winter was not really that bad after all."  I would have been run out of town by half the population if I had said this in their company.  There are no 5 feet snow banks left, and even though there is snow predicted, we are in the home stretch of getting to warmer weather.  The second one was finding this card that my friend Susan gave me in the late 70s.  It has been on my bulletin board since then.  In an effort to clean up my bulletin board, I took a picture of the front and the inside of the card, and put it away in a file.  It pretty much does fit my personality, the card that is.

However, there are times when I get pessimistic, and expect the worst.  I have a vivid imagination and when my family is out on the road, and a bit late, I am convinced they are dead from a car accident.  I am sure that my kids burned down the house while they are using it in Vermont. 

I think having this vivid imagination is not very useful.  "Worry is the misuse of imagination", is how one of our group once said it.  That does not help when I am imagining the worst.  I have to pull myself out of these images and talk with my Rock of Gibraltar who is usually the voice of reason.

OK, so being an eternal optimist is not always great.  I don't see the potholes in life and will too easily jump on the latest idea without considering the downfalls.  That is why I surround myself with Eeyores.

I am what I am, and I love this card as evidenced by it's presence on my bulletin board for over 40 years.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Give it up to the snow!

Rant alert!!!!!

Ok, so there is snow coming down and it has been a mighty winter but would everyone please chill out. We cannot control the weather, unless global warning is in that category, in which case we are controlling it.

As I drove around doing errands just now, YES, it was snowing. But winter is almost done and it is officially spring after all.

As we pulled out of the driveway yesterday and remembered the 5 foot snow bank, I reflected "that was not such a bad winter!". Remember I am an eternal optimist and please don't throw any rotten tomatoes across the Internet at me. I warned you this is a rant.

Maybe the comments made about the weather make it so we don't have to talk about Japan or Libya. Have you ever noticed that small talk is often about the weather. Nice safe topic we can all identify with.

In fact at a lay led service recently the winter weather was a prime topic, but many of us are on the other side of the coin and don't need winter to be over so soon. We are not so tired of the winter weather just yet. We should retire north, and those tired of winter in January, better retire to Florida.

Yes, it is snowing, and yes in 2001 there was an April Fools storm, and yes this weekend it was in the 60s. We cannot control the weather but we can control our reaction to it. Spring is here, the sun will come out and we won't have snow on the ground in May.

Rant over!!!!!


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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Another blog about Yoga

With the rejoining of the YMCA, I am exploring the yoga teachers there to see which ones I like. I went last night and Marilyn was teaching the class. I have been to her classes before when I was attending the Y faithfully. By 7 minutes into the class she was still waxing philosophically with a man who asked "if this is a non violent practice, why do we have swords and warrior positions?"

I started to get very irritated that she was not starting the "class" on time. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I caught myself and realized that this was the class and that not all teachers will be the same. Marilyn is the one I learned when i attended her class before, to move between poses with a mindful deliberate movement, which was a huge gift.

One thing I have learned through my practice is to focus on the space contained by my mat, and not worry about the others around me. When I am gazing, I keep my gaze within the boundaries of my orange rectangle. This helps me not worry what what others are thinking about my pose, and outside the rectangle, it helps me not be judged by others.

I thought when the class started slowly last night that it would not be a challenge, but the way my muscles feel this morning, in the end I got a good workout. My learning is that no motion, and holding a pose quietly, and being very still, is actually a lot of work.

I started yoga just about 4 years ago. When I started many of the poses were a challenge, and some I could not do, or I did them reluctantly. Those are some of my favorite now. Yes, I resist change, but then adopt it eagerly. As I settle into a routine and figure out what teachers to go to regularly for my yoga practice, Marilyn and her style will be included, but 12 hours ago, at the beginning of her class, this was not the case. What happened?

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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Groups end, not always elegantly

There is a well know model of group formation that many are familiar with. The Forming, Norming, Storming, Performing model. There is a little known stage that some practitioners use that is called Adjourning or Transforming.

I suspect there are a few reasons why they don't end elegantly. We don't want them to end, we don't want to say goodbye, and probably a few others. I think the most important is that we are not taught to say goodbye or how to end a group. A group I belong to says that if you are going to leave, you have to come back to say goodbye at one last session. That groups forces us to face the feelings associated with goodbyes. Anger, sadness, feeling of desertion to name a few. It also gives us practice as we say goodbye each time to a member.

This saying goodbye to groups, is very closely related to feelings of grief. Some religions have a great process of grief, and we could probably learn from them about how to end groups. The feelings might not be as intense but they are the same feelings.

As a growth opportunity for me, I am going to pay attention to groups and try to help them end elegantly. It is an ugly scene when they don't end well and I for one have scars from three of them that meant a lot to me and crashed and burned as they ended.


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Monday, March 14, 2011

Not on the Map or you cannot write the script

I learned a new analogy on Sunday during the sermon. Peter was talking about Japan and the tsunami and how we cannot know that these things are going to happen. They were not on our map when we set out on this journey. What I have said up until now was "you cannot write the script (for life)". My Aunt Susie said this to me once and it has stuck with me since then. I have used this with a lot of the people I coach. Now I have another way to say it, "that was not on our map". Another friend said about her kids once, "they didn't come with an instruction booklet".

These three expressions are all suggestions that we are sorta in control of things in our lives, but not really. The sooner we realize that we cannot write the script, or draw the map, or read the instruction manual, then we might find it easier to enjoy right now.

This sounds pretty philosophical but it helps me explain events like Japan, when I cannot attribute it to God or a god. Grace happens as does the opposite.


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Friday, March 11, 2011

Don't fight yourself - you can be involved in lots of things

In my coaching recently a theme has emerged around Myers Briggs. We all have preferences in our behavior that are hard wired. These are our natural preferences and asking us to operate outside these preferences is asking us to write with our non-dominant hand.

One person said "I feel like I am involved in too many things". Because we share the N and P, I looked at her with alarm and said "Says who?". As long as the number of activities she is involved in feeds her, then they are the right number of activities. If she feels overwhelmed then she has choices to make.

Today we did an exercise on prioritization where she listed all of her activities and placed them above the horizontal line (to keep) and below the line (to drop). She also placed them relative to the line for how important they are. Far away from the line meant there was no doubt, and close to the line, are the ones to discuss and determine what their real priority is.

We also discussed that because of the NP, the relative priority could change based on new learning or just because.

Society might say to her that she is involved in too many things, but NPs needs lots of activities to get recharged, and they need those to be able to change over time.

Our focus in coaching is for her not to fight against her preferences, or it will be tiring and she will be writing too much with her non-dominant hand. Have as many balls in the air as you want as long as you are sane and not dropping too many of them. The ones that hit the floor, should probably be below the cut line anyway.


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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Don't want to finish a book

The biggest reason that I don't want to finish a book is that I am enjoying it so much and want to savor every word of it. I don't want it to end. Recently "The Help" was like this. In fact I have been asking everyone for another book like it and have not heard anyone say they have one like it. Maybe I should reread it.

Recently another instance has come up where I don't want to finish a book. You have to know that I don't like suspense, or blood and guts or violence, which really limits the movies I can go to. Two times recently I have suspected that the book was going to have a bad ending and I have cheated and jumped ahead to read the last page. Darn, that is not the ending I want. In one case I stopped reading for about a week but then went back to the book and finished it.

The book I am currently reading, "A Cup of Friendship", does not seem like it can have a good ending, so I have noticed that my desire to read it is not there even though I read the first half quickly at Coniston this weekend. I have resisted looking at the last page so far, and I have not given up on it, so far, and returned it to the library unfinished.

I guess the mark of a good book for me, is one that keeps me reading to the end even though I know the ending and it is not the ending I want. It is actually a relief to know the ending in some cases, because I can brace myself. I have been known to not finish a book because l have peeked at the last page.

The older I get, the less I feel that I SHOULD finish every book I start or that it is cheating to read ahead. Cheating who? As I said, I am bracing myself to be able to finish it.

Does anyone have a book they have read that is as good as "The Help"?


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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

She's back to the YMCA

We have a wonderful YMCA 3 miles away that was renovated a few years ago. I have a hot and cold relationship with health clubs. Last night R. Arrived home and said "I am going to rejoin the Y, do you want to?". I did not rejoin last night because he sprung it on me and did not give me a chance to think about it. Honestly, I could not find my gym bag and had already planned to do iPad yoga. This is so not my Myers Briggs style, but is honestly what I thought. Oh, and I was in the middle of watching "House" and BTW cried when he and Cuddy broke up last night. That comment as a tangent, is typical of my Myers Briggs style.

I don't know what got him to rejoin now. It could be watching our sister in law run 14 miles in the rain, sleet and snow in preparation for running a marathon in May. It could be seeing the shape she and my brother are in because they work out regularly. It could be a lecture from his primary care. It could be because I am trying to keep my mouth shut about him taking care of himself.

This morning I went over and joined, did the elliptical machine and some weights. I am returning this evening for a yoga class. I really love this health club for many reasons, and regret that I ever got out of the habit of going, and it really is a habit. I stopped before when the yoga teacher and class, I regularly attended, was cancelled. It also might have been the season was such I could walk outside. Whenever I drop exercise it is because the habit is broken, and breaking it is a bit easier than making the habit stick.

It was different today because I am not working. I did not have the pressure of getting to work, or crunching it into my evening routine. It was more relaxing for sure.

I will have to get into the routine of when yoga classes are, and when I will fit in weights etc. Mostly it is just great to be back, and to have R. going as well.


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Unique Signs - and the messages they send

We have a hardware store 1 mile away from our house down Woburn Street.  We always call it "the store at the end of the street".  On my way to the YMCA this morning this sign caught my eye.  I actually remembered to stop on my way back to take this picture.  I love this picture on many levels.
  • It is handmade.  
  • This is an independent store and we give them our business whenever we can, as opposed to a big box chain store.  
  • It catches your eye as you drive along, and it so simple.  
  • We need to take of each other, including the birds.  

This store has a few of these signs which are seasonal, and I just love the way it rests on the two ladders. This sign with the bright yellow bird is a harbinger of spring and given this winter we need many harbingers and reminders, and we need to support local businesses and take care of each other.  This personal sign is a reminder of that.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Vowels and consonants

Honestly, this is how my mind works and this was my first awareness of it.  The year that we Chaired All Star II, we were allowed to spend an extra night on the island.  So very excited, I opened my eyes, stood up and pronounced "I am horizontal!". My wonderful husband muttered through his yet to open mouth or eyes, "No you are vertical."

I told many people this story and one person helped me understand that vertical and horizontal are stored close in my brain so it makes sense that I would access the opposite one.  Since this first happened, other instances have come up.  The most famous was when I called a Koala bear a Panda, or visa versa.  My husband proclaimed that day, that he would teach our children science.

Last night in choir the director said, "sing only the vowels of this section of music".  I heard consonants and sang only consonants wondering why I sounded so different than everyone else.  When we finished she said "Now add the consonants." They are stored close in my brain is one excuse, and I converted what I heard, vowels, to consonants.  The really funny part is that we have done this exercise before, so I have experience only singing vowels.

I don't mean to make excuses but to offer an explanation for what might seem to you as a complete opposite.  My retrieval of concepts in my brain is not as fine tuned as others.  The image I have is a vinyl record, and my needle drops down on the wrong track, the track right before, or right after.  Some youngins among us might not understand that analogy.  What is a comparable analogy with iTunes?

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Slips, trips and falls

Our bike path has been cleared by a private contractor this winter. paid for by the "Friends of the Lexington Bikeways". It is so wonderful to be able to walk especially with the winter we have had.  Unfortunately a half dozen times this winter I have been a mall walker because of the outside conditions.
When I worked in a manufacturing plant at Polaroid, safety was very important since there was dangerous equipment all around.  One motto we had for safety training was "Watch for Slips, trips and falls!"  A slip or a trip was a warning that something was not safe and often happened before a fall.  If you paid attention to a slip, it might prevent a more severe incident like a fall.  In fact, we reported all slips, trips and falls to rectify an unsafe condition.
 
I think about this a lot and especially when I am walking on the bike path.  Today, while in a trance/zone as I powered along, I slid gently on a patch of ice.  It was a nice warning to slip rather than fall. My zone however, was interrupted and my full attention was on my feet, and where they were planted.  I thought about all the near misses on the ice this winter, and I also thought about the people I know who have really hurt themselves falling.

I was much more alert after that quick slide, but still would rather be out on a beautiful sunny day on the bike path, than in the mall.