Where have I been for over two months you ask?

I think my blogging frequency has decreased since I got my ipad for sure but that is not the only reason I have been absent.  For the last two months, I have spent a lot of time making a HUGE decision.  People who knew me in 2005 will say "yeah, yeah, yeah, you retired once before".   I am retiring to figure out what to do in my retirement.  December 23rd will be my last day at Intuit. .  Past posts here all say that I think Intuit it is Great Place to Work and it is.  Why then am I leaving this Great Place to Work?  Am I crazy to be giving up a good job with a Great company?  Yes and No!

A few events in the last few months have caused me to re-evaluate my priorities, and to think a lot about what is important in life.  This could be a mid-life crisis, but it does not feel like a crisis.  Rather it feels like an opportunity. After 20 years in HR where I have helped a lot of people, coached a lot of managers and employees, conducted a lot of training sessions etc. it is time to take a breathe and take care of me.  My wonderful husband said during this past two months "You cannot help getting involved in peoples' lives.  That is what you do."  Yes, that is what I do.

So my next opportunity will involve people, it will involve my Unitarian Universalist Principles, it will probably not be full-time, but who knows.  My thoughts right now is that it will be non-profit work empowering young women.  Stay tuned here as I travel on this journey and explore this wonderful opportunity.  

I have been doing a lot of thinking to come to this decision, and a lot of counting my blessings.  I don't need anything else in this holiday season to be fulfilled.

    

The perfect wedding and transitioning to a new generation

The last few weeks have been pretty with the planning and executing the plans for the wedding held yesterday at Coniston.  I talked with my Mom a lot during the last two days about transitions.  Hers from being the mother of the bride or groom to the grandmother and mine transitioning to being the mother of the groom.  All of the past family weddings I have been a sibling, bride or friend.  This was very different.  As I  walked down the aisle I honestly thought, "Why are they looking at me, the bride with be along in 60 seconds?"  I also laughed when at the rehearsal the minister said "We will save the chairs down in front for the old fogies" and I pointed at myself and said "She is talking about me!"

The three days before the wedding were a flurry of family involved in activies at Coniston.  Wiring done by brother Charles, flowers down by Peg and Ruby, English family entertained by George and Judy while we dined at the Blue Paddle Bistro with the wedding party.   Our English family helped get the tent set up, set up tables and lent many extra hands to the effort.

The ceremony was perfect for this couple.  The wind blowing through the delicate fabric strung over the arbor could not have been done better in a Hollywood movie. 

I was fine with the crying bit sort of. . . until I saw my son with tears standing under the arbor, and then saw my daughter in tears walking back down the aisle.  I could not even look at Rod for most of the ceremony, if I wanted to see the rest of it.  It was a "two hanky day", and we used both of them.

And then the party began!  The DJ played music from 4 - 9 pretty non-stop.  Both families have people who love to dance.  The obligatory Coniston bocce game was played by the wedding party (in all seasons, we play bocce on the front lawn with our guests), and coming from a family of pyromaniacs, the bonfire really lit up the night sky.

Our neighbors have a daughter who invited herself to the wedding and arrived with her Mom in tow later in the evening.  She asked if she could talk to the bride, she danced with the bride, and took home a caramel apple and a napkin with the names of the bride and groom on it.  This was her first wedding.  It was interesting to take a step back and see a wedding through the eyes of an eight year old.  She left saying "I cannot see them right now but say good bye to the bride and prince for me."

This was the first wedding of the next generation of cousins on my side.  They were all there, and we in our generation talked a lot about what kinds of weddings they will have.  What kinds of impressions did they take away from watching their oldest cousin/brother get married?  Do they remember attending their first wedding?  Did they talk to the bride or dance with the bride and talk home that special treasure from the wedding?

Coniston is changed forever now that we have had a wedding here.  The arbor is permanent and the holes drilled for the tent stakes are permanent.  The tent is not permanent except in our memory.  This afternoon, when flames from the bonfire erupted (YIKES, I thought the fire was out) Bee looked at it and said "Their love is still burning."  May the memory of the bonfire and the music and the family and friends and the bocce game carry us forward to the next wedding memories we create.  Who will be married next?

Doing more of what you want to do

Doing more of what you want to do, came up as a theme at our most recent covenant group.  This cause me to think about whether I am actively doing this or not.  The answer is maybe and maybe not. 

I very deliberately decided that this summer I would play a lot more golf than in recent summers.  I held true to this and played at least twice a week with two different groups.  I played at 7:04am yesterday morning, and on my drive home I fantasized about dropping by Pine Meadows to play another 9 holes for the day.  It is getting too late to play after work, BOO HOO, but watch out for next summer.  I will be upping the ante on golf.

I want to get more exercise, and this is a tricky one.  It needs to be built into my schedule or it slips away.  If I walk right after I get home, and get into that habit I will probably be successful.  If I wait and pretend that I am going to walk after dinner, the probability of success decreases.  Remember, I am a morning person.

Lately, because of a certain day in September when our son gets married, I have been preoccupied with wedding stuff, so my quilting has been dormant.  Need to get back to that after the wedding.

In terms of volunteer activities, I am doing what I like to do there.  I am on the board of Star Island Corporation, and hopefully having an impact keeping our beloved spiritual community viable for my grandchildren.

Yes, and at work, I am doing what I want to do.  I still love my job after 3.75 years and cannot imagine even looking for another job.  Oh, there are some days when it is not terrific, but compared to where I might be, this is perfect for me.

The older I get, the more I do what I want to do.  I have less tolerance for obligations or mediocre activities.  Should a, could a, would a, do not do much for me.  So, more golf, more quilting, more exercise, more Coniston, more family and friends and less of everything else . . .

2010 - Summer of golf and learnings

No, the summer is not yet over, even though Labor Day weekend begins in a few short hours, but I figure I would post this while the thoughts are fresh.

I set out this summer with the explicit intention to play lots of golf.  I regularly played on Monday night with women friends and on Thursday mornings in the Intuit golf league.  Don't cringe, but we teed off at 6:06 for the early birds and 7:03 for those who slept in. I also try to play in Vermont with my family the weekends we are up there. 

Before this week, when my club really started connecting with the ball I used to be baffled at how some of my compatriots could lose so many balls, and not know where their balls had gone.  I was not hitting the ball long enough to ever lose any balls.  The only place mine ended up was in the H2O.  In fact, I have had the same pocket of balls for years, because I never lost them.  This week I ran out of that pocket of balls and started playing with new fresh pink balls.  I had one drive this week where I actually lost a ball in the rough.  I had another drive on the 7th hole at Pine Meadows, where I usually drive just over a hill.  This week it was way far down that hill.  I could not believe my ball went that far. 

It is very exciting to be improving.  My score is not drastically better, but my drives are consistent and getting longer.  Practice, practice, practice does improve your game.

I am no longer baffled about how I could possibly lose a ball in the rough.   I am not surprised that my drives are longer and more consistent.  I knew entering the summer of golf that if I played this much I was bound to get better.  It is too bad, for my golf game, that fall is approaching.  Maybe a winter vacation to a golf destination is in order.  

Just not sure some technology is more efficient - IM and texting

As I was IMing with a colleague yesterday this thought that is the title of this blog post came to me.  Before IM, you would walk to the office next to you, or pick up the phone and talk live.  Those conversations might not have been efficient but I suspect they were more efficient that some of the IM "conversations" I have seen or been a part of.  Additionally, IM lets you remain a bit detached from the person, where you cannot read innuendos or body language.  There is so much room for misunderstanding.  Having said all of this, IM and chat have become such a big part of our communication.  Why?  You don't have to get up and leave the task you were in the middle of is part of the answer.  It is quick and can bring remote workers closer is another part of the answer.  It allows multi-tasking is another reason.

Walking around the office and hearing the clicking of the typing and the bell sound notifying someone of another IM causes me to ask, is this really more efficient?  I bet some of those conversations should be live ones or at least phone conversations. 

I often am in the middle of typing an IM thread and stop myself and pick up the phone or suggest a live conversation when we are both free to avoid bad communication or misunderstanding.

I know that IM does provide some convenience which is why we do it.  You can quickly get information when you are in the middle of another meeting and that person can reply even if they are in the middle of another meeting.  For this, it is valuable and efficient, albeit distracting.

Texting has also entered our culture as a method of communication.  I "get" texting.  You can send a message, and the person does not have to be there, and can answer at their convenience.  A quick message or question that can be read on your own time is not as disruptive.  It is like voice mail, if you really don't want to talk to someone, you can text them.  There is still abuse with texts, when in fact conversations should be live.

So I wonder what the next technology will be?  What will replace IM and texting?  What other multi-tasking activity will be banned while you are driving?

Hi My name is Sally and I am a Golf Addict

This summer has been amazing for golf.  I play at least twice a week and sometimes a third time.  Monday nights are with my friend E and occasionally a third.  Thursday mornings at 6:06 I play with the Intuit golf league.  Don't forget that I am an early bird when you gasp at the early tee time.  I can get to work by 8:30 by teeing off at 6:06.

Early on in the summer, my two brothers gave me a couple of tips and for the most part they have become a part of my game.  They were: 1) Don't bend your left elbow 2) Hold the club like it is a bird - that gently.   I KNOW that consistency is the name of the game in golf, so playing this often will help with that.

What is really interesting to me, is that my scores have not gone down much this summer but my satisfaction of my game has.  If I could only string together a series of 8 or 9 holes, my score would go down, and someday at this rate that will happen.

The other surprise is that when folks hear I play golf the normal reaction is "You play golf, I did not know that!"  OK, if I were male, this would not be a normal comment, and would not even be a thought or a prejudice. 

Why is it still perceived as a male game?  I know plenty of women who play.  In our family, Murg is the golf widower.  Just another way that I turn the world upside down I suppose.  BTW, I had to add a new label for this post . . . golf.

Working in the middle column

During my review two weeks ago my manager help me connect some dots that before were just that, dots hanging out in space.

2 months ago we had a career discussion where I shared my strengths from a profile from strength finder. Here is a picture of my strengths.





We had a great conversation in May and an even better one two weeks ago during my year end review.

Today, during our 1-1 we revisited the review by way of "What did I learn during the review and what will I commit to for this year?"

There are very few people who can hold up the mirror for me the way she does. It is a gift for both of us that she can be honest with me AND I can be open to hear, process and modify my behavior.

The essence of our conversation was the balance of work between strategic HR work and tactical HR work. My natural inclination is the strategic. That is the way I think and is confirmed by strengths in the strength finder. I often seen things as binary so I was dividing the work into two buckets and did not see that they were connected. In fact I bragged that on my white board the blue pen indicated strategic and the red was tactical. I further bragged that I glanced at the board to make sure that I was working enough in the strategic.

My manager's insight, and observation, which she helped me to understand by physically connecting the dots is that the HR Business Partner work is not one or the other. She actually listed the strategic in a column, the tactical in another and in the middle of these two she drew some circular scribbles to indicate that this is where the work is. That is the middle column work and is where we should be working. Her challenge for me into figure out how to operate and work there.

In the past two weeks I have felt myself irritated with the tactical UNTIL I can catch myself and reframe my mindset and approach. After a few of times catching myself I actually believe that working in the middle column is "the work". I don't get as irritated and I have started to enjoy my whole job. This does not mean that I don't slip back and get irritated. Behavior change is hard but I have been able to reframe my approach most of the time.

We have a code word now of the "middle column work".

We both agreed that my review was a very intense conversation. This may sound trite but I believe that feedback is a gift. Taking it to the next level of rewiring my mindset and reframing my work will be hard work but well worth the effort. I am beginning to like working in the middle column.

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California friendliness

While sitting at dinner on Sunday afternoon at Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, I brought out my knitting.  2 people at 2 separate times came over and admired my knitting.  I don't mean they admired my knitting, I mean they ADMIRED my knitting.  One of them was a knitter and was feeling badly that she did not have hers and the other was a family where the young child was watching me so the Mom started the conversation.

I started to think, WOW, California is more friendly, but these folks were from Florida and Wisconsin(?).  So is it the atmosphere of California that made them more friendly, or is it that they were on vacation that made them more friendly.

I can tell you it did not feel like New England or Boston the way they approached me and the depth of the conversation.  It was not a polite, "Oh, look you are knitting."  It was "Wow, love your knitting, wish I had mine, let's talk for a bit about knitting, and anything else, but mainly lets talk and connect."

Was I more open to it since I am on vacation?  Am I not open to it in Boston?

I am not really sure, I just know if felt very different and I liked it and at the same time was a bit suspicious about them as they approached me.  Typically New Englander I suppose!

Hertz is more random than I am

On this trip I have had the opportunity to rent from Hertz three times.

The first time in Salt Lake City they gave me a huge SUV, and I could barely get into the cab it was so tall.  I went back and asked for a smaller car.  There was another gentleman in front of me, who did the same thing.  I also did not want to pay for gas for a SUV.

In San Jose, I got a hybrid.  It took me a bit to figure out how to start it, but I did finally figure that out.  I was only driving it for the day, so I did not really need the hybrid part.

On Sunday, I picked up my last car of the trip.  I don't even know the brand, but there are no electric locks, windows etc.  When was the last time you rolled up a window with a winding knob?

When I mentioned this to someone at dinner last night they said "Is is all random."  I am a Hertz Gold Member which means I don't have to wait in the huge long line and can walk straight to my car.  Don't you think they would give the best cars to the Gold Card Members?  I know they had lots of cars because I walked through them at the Hertz parking lot at SFO.

What is really interesting to me is I refused to drive the SUV, but I did not refuse to drive the untechnical car.  It sounds like a tin can and I have to walk around to each door to lock it, and wind up and down the window myself, but I am a lot more comfortable in this car than the SUV.

Memories are just that - they are not fact

My wonderful son and I had a funny conversation about which apartment we lived in when Murg brought him the helicopter.  I have the advantage of age, which come to think about it may not be an advantage after all if senility has set in.  I was so sure about being right on this one we made a $100 bet.  We called Murg in the middle of the conversation and Chris asked him.  There is some deal going on between them, that Chris is paying Murg $75 to say it is the house Chris thinks it is.

Today on Face book, Murg attributes a phrase to Chris, that I am convinced he himself said.  It is a long story and the punch line is "Sally, could you please have another sip of coffee?"  OK, I was being really cranky on our Saturday errands driving around, and I actually did need another sip in order to be around any one else on the earth, and you all know how important it is for me to be around others.

I have told this story hundreds of times, and I have always attributed it to Murg, but you know, I am not sure about this one.  Certainly not sure enough to bet $100, but maybe $75, if the math works out right.

Decaffeinated - what would that be like

I am spending this week in Orem, Utah with our sales people. As I did my coffee run just now (can you have a coffee run for one because NO ONE else here drinks coffee?) I wondered aloud what it would be like to live with coffee. I also wondered about what caffeine does to your body as my heart was racing 20 minutes after the infusion.

I observed my office mates this morning, and there were two who arrived on my heels at 7am. They seemed bright eyed and bushy tailed without java.

My body NEEDS coffee to wake up at this point and I know that is an addiction but not one I worry about just now!

I always say that coffee is the one vice I refuse to give up but I am reconsidering that today, but not really!
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Grief 15 years and it still catches me off guard

Just now walking down the hall, as I planned my next project, I was thinking about rug hooking.  I took a rug hooking class in Middlebury VT over 15 years ago, and like many of my classes, I have done little with it since then.  Recently I moved all of the rug hooking materials to Coniston because I think it is more likely that I can have time there to work on it.  I also found a shop in North Hero which has the same exact rug company products which sparked a new interest for me in rug hooking.  Then, I saw a quilt at Vermont Quilt Festival, of a map of Vermont and all of its counties and BINGO, my next rug project will be a map of Vermont with each county a different color.  This is how design works for me.  An idea percolates for a while and then BINGO, walking down the hall the idea comes to me.  This happened with my alphabet quilt projects a few years ago.  For a few years I imagined an alphabet quilt with the square a fabric piece that represented the letter and the letter appliqued on it, e.g. Apple fabric for A, bumble bee fabric for B, etc.  Then I saw this exact design is a quilt book, bought the book and produced multiple quilts of this design.  Nieces, nephews, auction winners at both First Parish and Star were recipients of this quilt design.  But I digress . . .

I was staying with Mom and Dad when I took the rug hooking class.  After I returned to their house one of the things I needed was a frame to put the in-process rug in.  They gave us a rudimentary design during the class that I explained to Daddy and a few hours later he produced it from his work shop.  He was like that.  A mere suggestion of an idea or need, he disappeared and came back with it. 

So why, almost 15 years after his death, just thinking about that rug frame, do I suddenly burst into tears?  Is it because I was caught off guard?  Murg said once that he grieves every day the loss of his parents.  This was my moment today to grieve the passing of Daddy.  I have the rug frame though and this weekend that design of Vermont counties will probably be on it.  Thanks Daddy!

With some people this is how I act - all joking aside

One of my fellow shoalers this last week comes to Star about every 5 years.  Almost as soon as we step on the boat to travel to the island, we are zinging each other.  This happens with me and certain people.  I am sure there is some Freudian analysis that would explain it.  Maybe he reminds me of my Dad or my brothers.  In any case, on Tuesday, R turned to me and said "Can we stop this?" to which I replied "Yes".  Our efforts to only speak gently and kindly to each other was hysterical, and almost sugar sweet, BUT we made it through most of the week, and BTW, we got to know each other in a different way, a deeper way.  It was nice, and would never have happened unless he said "Can we stop this?"

Another conversation the last morning, was about joking.  I still maintain that all joking has a certain amount of truth, otherwise, why would the joke come to you in the first place?  B and I totally agree on this one, and we are both pretty sensitive so the jokes hit us harder than others.  I have been on this rant for a while at work and at play.   Some joking is funny, and light-hearted but some is down right mean.  How do you walk the fine line between the two?  I cross over that line a lot, particularly with people like R who trigger me.

Pretty funny that I blog about these two topics together.  They are joined in my mind and are room for my personal improvement.

Creature of habit in the morning at Star Island

Saturday was the day of my return from Star and therefore a lot of blogging material is rattling around but this is the most concrete thought for now.

We stayed in Starloft which is a beautiful accommodation. Our bed was in a dormer such that I only had to open my eyes and lift my head a tiny bit to see the sunrise. Each morning I watched the sunrise, went back to sleep until 5:30 am and got up then for the day. The front porch was my destination and the early morning coffee. Two or three others were there and I watched the Island wake up. I also held babies while their parents caught a few more winks.

That view of the bed in the dormer the sun rising and the conversations early morning will carry me through 51 weeks until we are back again!

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I understand better how Software Engineers organize their work now

I returned Sunday from 4 days of immersion into quilting at VQF (google it) and a mind full of ideas for my next quilts.  Some many ideas, so little free time and a fabric stash that will long outlive me.  BTW, if you want me to leave my fabric/yarn stash to you when I die, drop me a line.

Last night, after work and golf, I have great intentions to sit down at my machine and finish one of the projects from one of the 3 classes I took at VQF.  I looked at the 5 unfinished projects and was paralyzed.  Which one could I put 15 minutes into and move along?  Was the right thread in the machine for any of them? Are there any deliverables that I have for any of them?

A concept that we have talked a lot about at work is how much time software engineers spend actually coding.  Their ideal span of time for coding is 4 hour blocks, and our management schedule is 1 hour meetings.  So, if they get in to work at 9am, and see a 10am meeting, they are reluctant to get started because it might not be the right block of time. 

That is how I felt last night.  I needed at least an hour to get to work on something, and being the lark that I am 10pm at night is not the right hour to sit down with a sharp rotary cutter and scissors and a sharp machine needle.  Accidents happen when you are tired around sharp instruments.  SO, I did nothing on the projects and tried to organize my fabric stash so that when I am ready, I can grab the right fabric. 

Maybe tonight I can find a 1 hour block of time.  I entertained getting up at 5am to put an hour in this morning, and actually almost did get up and do that.  My excitement for finishing those projects and starting up some new ones might actually get me up at 5am one of these mornings.  For now, I am admiring my unfinished projects, and planning my new ones and strategizing to find 1 hour blocks to sew.

Sort of Like Wayne Gretsky

This is a bit of a stretch, but I am sort of like Wayne Gretsky.  I heard once that when he plays, he views the ice from above, and looks down on where the puck and players are or will be.  I do the same thing when I think about directions and getting somewhere.

This topic came up on Sunday when we drove into the ICA.  I get places by a "helicopter" or Google earth view of an area.  Just now I found myself almost lifting from my seat, to view how I would get from here to our dinner engagement.  That is when I said out loud to myself, "I am like Wayne Gretsky."

When I am trying to figure out the BEST (and I am almost always interested in the best, or path of least resistance) way to get some place, I view it from overhead.

I don't think this is how everyone navigates.  Bee seem to indicate during our conversation that this is not how she navigates.  How to you view directions?  When you are heading to a place is it the turn by turn directions or the helicopter view?  So many things to ponder.

Island Citizenship - what does it look like?

For the next few years, my volunteer hours are going to be spent on the board of SIC (Star Island Corporation).  This weekend we had our June retreat "on island" and it was bittersweet.  It was fabulous because we got two days on the island and not so good because we spent most of the time inside meeting.  We could look out the windows at the island's natural beauty, which includes the pelicans aka pels (college age kids who work on the island), conferees and guests of the island.

One major topic we discussed a lot was Island Citizenship.  Some of us tried to drop the Island part and just call it Citizenship, but IMHO, we should leave Island in the concept.  The essence of the concept is that we all have to exist on this fragile small island (rock) in the middle of the Atlantic where most of us come for one week of the year.  Many of us identify with "our week" and for the Island to exist we have to lift up our eyes and view the Island for the entire year, not just our week.  The second part of the concept is how we treat each other within this Island community.  There is lots of good work within our denomination about intentional community and right relations.  (Google those)  The third part is that our Island is fragile in many ways, and since we are all so passionate about making sure it exists for our grand children and beyond, we need to make every effort to fill beds this summer and beyond. 

The Board has done a lot of good work since I joined 15 months ago, and it is a concept like Island Citizenship, which peaks my interest and causes me to get up at 5:30am on a weekend to put some effort into it.  Shoalers beware, and non-Shoalers feel free to listen as well; the next time you see me, I will probably be enthusiastically talking about this concept.  In the meantime, what do you think so far, with this little bit you have heard?  Do you belong to an organization where participants feel so passionate and are working hard to maintain its future?  Have you thought about intentional community and right relations?  Do you have any best practices for moving an organization in those directions?  This is a true Sally post; alwaysaskingwhy!

Big company or small company person?

I had dinner with a friend tonight and one topic we discussed was working for a small or big company. As in many issues for me I am mixed. My first job out of college was as the 5th employee at a restaurant and we built it into a 65 employee business access two sites over two two years. I also worked at a startup (small company) right before Intuit (large company) and have worked at two other large companies, Polaroid and Smith & Nephew Endoscopy.

I am not sure but I think I prefer a small company. Right now I have the best of both worlds. Small business unit which is very entrepreneurial inside a large company. This might very well be why I often describe it as "I don't really feel like I am going to work!"

I do believe that usually people prefer one or the other. My dinner colleague is definitely a small company person.

What do you prefer? Do people stay in large companies for the security? Do they work in startups for the excitement and risk? Can you have the best of both worlds in the same company or am I being a polyanna about my current situation? Alway asking questions!



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A&W Drive-in memories

Yesterday on our way home from visiting friends in Cornwall we stopped at the A&W drive-in in Middlebury Vermont. I love this place. Probably since 1964 when we spent the summer in Vt, I have been there most years of my life. We moved there in 1965. We also often went to the A&W drive-in in Rutland Vt.

The most told story about the drive-in is the time Mom rolled down the window with 8 mugs of root beer on it. We love that story and every time say "Don't roll down the window!"

The taste of root beer floats always takes me back to this drive-in. More than once we have driven from almost an hour away to go there.

Yesterday I really wanted a root beer milk shake. Yum Yum! They were out of root beer syrup yesterday. Not to worry! Second best is a root beer float.

Summer to me is the opening of the drive-in and a root beer float on a hot summer day.



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Life comes around in a circle

This picture was taken in our bathroom at Coniston. It is not the best picture in the world but is iPhone quality so what do you want?

After owning Coniston for just about two years we are getting around to the tweaks of home ownership, like hanging pictures. These three pictures are not art in the true sense rather they depict a moment in my life when I was living hand to mouth, and had very little disposable income.

It was my first apartment in Boston in 1985, after I separated from my first husband. Crick and I lived on Jersey Street in the Fenway area of Boston. For excitement we used to go to games at the 7th inning, and just walk into the park for the last few innings. 911 has changed a lot of things! You cannot walk into Fenway like his now.

We also used to look out our apartment window on game nights and after the first car was towed from in front of our building, Crick went to bed. His treat was watching the tow truck. It is amazing how many smart Red Sox fans cannot read No Parking signs.

As a way to decorate my new apartment I put together these three pictures which represented the true Sally and a few of her loves. One thing I collected as a kid were post cards and when I went to an art museum, I bought post cards of my favorite paintings. These "pictures" were hanging in Lexington until we redid a bathroom a few years ago and have sat in a box of pictures that made it's way to Coniston last summer.

A flood of memories of that time in my life came over me as I cleaned them off yesterday and straightened some of the postcards. I am in such a different place in my life AND they now hang in the bathroom at Coniston. I still get a feeling that the true Sally as a little girl and then the true Sally who discovered herself during that time of my life and the true Sally who is being discovered every day is represented in these postcards. Nice to have them back in my life!


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Golf and Behavior changes not so easy for perfectionists

Last Sunday while playing golf G and M (2 brothers) after the first 9 holes they dissected my back swing and holding of the club. Mind you, there are just a few people I will accept tips from on my golf stroke. My attitude until now has been, "the ball went forward, and most of the time it went in the air, happy for both of those, and it is a beautiful walk today with good conversation."

Since I am playing at least twice a week this summer, this is the time for change. My "back nine" were horrible after the dissection, but I knew that would be the case. Thursday and yesterday I was still working out the kinks so less than half of my strokes were solid. I know, because I teach change to managers for work, that change is hard. You actually have to rewire the brain for the new behavior and not fire the old response AT ALL during the rewiring. AT ALL is extreme but pretty true in the case of my golf stroke. For the last week I have focused on two things that are different in my stroke.

1- don't bend my left elbow on the back swing and
2- hold the club like you are holding two baby birds.

Two things to change is almost too many BTW. I tell managers to focus on one change at a time.

We can all improve our behavior and responses until the day we die and for those of us ENFPs who are constantly trying to improve things this is our path. I cannot say that I have improved that many behaviors. My first grade teacher commented that I should work on patience as did my manger recently, 50 years later.

Think about the concept of golf for a minute and of all the variables. I asked G and M for a list of other things to work on, after I have institutionalized these two, which may have been unfair but this is the summer of Golf for me. Got to shave off a few strokes while still enjoying the game. Got to not bend that elbow.

So I think we can change if we are aware, have feedback, focus on the rewiring, and have a healthy dose of patience and ability to laugh at ourselves, during the clumsiness of the process. I will never play scratch golf or be on the WPGA but I will continue to enjoy the game while getting better and peeking at the next item on that list.
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I Love Vermont - AGAIN

On my Jet Blue flight from NYC just now, I sat next to another person who grew up in Vermont and is coming back this weekend for a family reunion.

As we started to see the Green Mountains, we both were stretching our necks to absorb as much as possible of the scenery outside the window of the plane.

It happens slower when I am in a car as I cross over into Vermont in White River Junction, but looking down from the plane on the state that I spent half of my growing up years, warmed by heart and calmed my soul.

A lot of it is the history of family here, and the presence of current family that we visit when we come up for the weekend.  And some of it is the life style and the scenery.  I read an article in Vermont magazine about a man who commutes, but never dreads his commute because he is driving through beautiful part of Vermont.

I love Vermont, again, and again, and again.

Further California observations

Since I was on the red eye last night I had some time to waste so after finding a cute yarn shop in Los Altos I got on 280 instead of 101. I usually travel on 101 since it is the most convenient but 280 is amazingly beautiful and uncrowded at rush hour. In fact I am not sure why I would travel 101 again unless I am time bound. 280 travels among the hills and you see very little towns whereas on 101 you never leave a city from the SFO airport to Mountain View.

When I left 280 to go down to Burlingame I drove on some amazing curvy steep roads. The speed limit was 10 miles per hour in some places. California has had rain lately so there were some DPW signs covering grates that said FLOODED. Formal signs they put out when the road is less than perfect. How civil? We could have used those in the North East. There were also sand bag stations with huge piles of sand. Never seen this in the northeast.

Final observation, in Burlingame there is an ordinance that you cannot post a For Sale sign in a car. Huh? There has to be a story behind this one unless I read the sign wrong.

Traveling is such fun to see the differences and to question why they are different.

Not an observation but I finally had dinner at an In-and-Out Burger. Google it if you don't know about this chain. I was impressed by the kid cutting up potatoes for French fries or rather the machine he was using to cut them up and they were delicious and the hamburger was OK. Hamburger and fries cost me 3.82 so it was a good deal but I am not sure I would hurry back. This could be because of my tendency toward veggies lately.

OK final final observation. Restaurant in CA employees do not wear gloves while preparing food, not even the ones who collect money and then get your fries ready. Has Boston gotten hyper sensitive on this issue or are our health departments stricter?


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What are you afraid of? What are they afraid of?

At our HR off site, we had a box of questions and to get to know each other, we randomly pulled one out and answered it. Being the extrovert that I am, I wanted to answer every one, unlike the extreme introvert, who was visibly in pain at the thought of the question she/he might get. From MBTI experience for almost 20 years and without the actual data, this is a difference between Is and Es; how much they want to share their personal life with others. Obviously I want to share nearly everything with many people as evidenced by this blog.

So, I am afraid of being destitute. I am also afraid of snakes and fish that move quickly in the water, but my biggest fear, and the one that keeps me up at night, is of being destitute. Unless something rather extraordinary happens, there is no way this is going to happen, ever. Try telling that to my inner child, the one that is not as sheltered by rationale thoughts.

I was even in a conversation with someone last week where I contemplated and said out loud "It actually would be OK to be homeless in my later years, because you are on your way out anyway." I don't mean to be disrespectful of people who find themselves homeless by this comment, I honestly think I would be OK, if I were homeless as long as the climate I was in was not New England and in fact Florida or the South West is where we decided it might be OK.

Homlessness also came up this week in my prior blog, about how well San Francisco takes care of their homeless. It is an OK climate for homelessness, as long as you don't mind getting damp. At least you don't have 20 degree below weather to contend with in SF the way you do in VT.

So what are you afraid of, what is your biggest fear, the one that keeps you up at night? If we know this about each other, then working with them, and understanding them is a lot easier.

I often say to my leadership classes during a discussion of what triggers them, "If someone triggers you, ask yourself what they are afraid of. It will explain their behavior, and make is easier for you to understand and work with them." Some times I get a quizzical look when I say this, and sometimes I get a nod of the head. What can I say, this technique helps me cope when I remember to pause and ask the question, "What are they afraid of?"

Observations of San Francisco

I am here at an off site with my HR team and have some observations.

The weather here is worse than Boston right now. Rain and pretty cold weather, maybe 60 degrees. Folks are walking around in down parkas with fur lined hoods! These don't come out in Boston until it drops to 20 or 30 degrees. Most of today there was a light mist or drizzle. Every local has an umbrella. The visitors did not come prepared and there are umbrellas you can buy from your hotel room which cost $30. In NYC the vendors come out as soon as the rain starts and sell $5 umbrellas. I saw no vendors here today. As an aside, the office buildings have racks with long plastic bags to put your wet umbrella in. Again, how civil. I tried to take a picture of the rack but the guard stopped me. Really?

People wait until the lights say walk even when no traffic is coming. They don't seem in a hurry and are pretty civil as they pass on the street.

There are many homeless people and I suspect the climate is part of the reason. A local said that they take good care of their homeless. Another local said a homeless person set up a tent in front of their building. It sounded like normal stuff. One homeless man was in his sleeping bag with a miner's light while he read. I have never seen that in boston.

This is the second time I have been fooled by SF weather. I should have brought a fleece and left my sandals at home and packed my $5 umbrella from NYC.

Those are my first day observations!


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Travel log - jet blue vs. Virgin America - and stay away from UFood Grill

Frequent readers know I blog when I travel so here is the latest installment from Logan Terminal C this morning on my way to an offsite in San Francisco, not Mountain View but "the City".

I am flying this trip on Jet Blue only because Virgin America does not YET fly into Burlington VT. It is wishful thinking that they will ever fly there.

I got there early, wait, I always get there early for stress reduction reasons. Got my coffee from Dunkin' (last one for 4 days, Dunkin', not coffee), asked if they serve food on the flight, got NO for answer so went off in search of my lunch to eat 5 hours later.

The healthiest food is at UFood Grill so I ordered a sandwich wrap. They were under staffed and one of the employees said "I work with a bunch of losers and I am quitting today!". I thought and did NOT say out loud "seriously, you are really destroying the brand of UFood for me. I will think twice about my choice next time and since you are quitting anyway, why did you not just quit this morning or at least call in sick?". I hope the sandwich does not make ME sick!

I then camped out near the Jet Blue agent since the power outlet was there and complimented him a few times since obviously he was paying attention during his customer service training.

I asked him when Jet Blue is getting Wifi on their planes to which he sheepishly replied "a couple of months". From his reaction he knows that they really should have it to compete with Virgin America. When I was deciding which to fly the only positive for Jet Blue over Virgin is the Burlington Vt factor. JB has NO Wifi, no food beyond snacks and you have to flag down an attendant for water versus just ordering from your screen. I guess I am spoiled by VA but for the same cost, I have choices. Next time will probably be VA.


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A message to be patient once again

Yesterday I got to work super early because it is a very busy week. Pretty much everything I touched around technology broke. Mondays it seems are always slow for booting up. I could not search with IE8 and our help desk had me uninstall and install, etc. Of course I had to reboot several times. You guys know the drill.

If I believed in a god I would have said that she was trying to send me a message to slow down and be patient. Technology is not always more efficient as I once again affirmed yesterday.

Part way through the morning when it felt as if I had accomplished nothing yet, I sat back and laughed at myself. Some times the early bird gets the worm. Yesterday was not one of those days!
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Cruising to Bermuda

We stepped off the boat at about 8:30 am yesterday morning after a lovely 7 day cruise to Bermuda. For those who have not heard our story, we met there 25 years ago this month.

We are not your normal cruise attendees. That is for another post.

We did manage to explore and re-discover Bermuda and recreate memories from 25 years ago. We found the house that Murg rented on Brighton Hill Road. We found the beach where when snorkeling I thought those giant fish were nibbling at me.(3 inch long ones) We took the mail ferry around Hamilton Harbor, got off at Belmont and literally hiked over two hills to Warwick Long Bay Beach. We took a ferry from Dockyard to St George's and then buses back. We swam again at Church Bay; a wonderfully protected and beautiful non-tourist beach.

We were pretty proud of ourselves that this was all on a 3 day bus/ferry pass for $28.

The cruise was relaxing and peaceful and active all at the same time. Our daily exercise was 8 laps of deck 7 for 3.4 miles. We found our favorite restaurant was "Windows" and ate there most dinners toward the end of the cruise.

Back into the fray of the mainland I still feel as if the ground below me is moving and I need to make small adjustments to stay upright.

Our pictures and the pictures we took with our eyes will be what we have until we travel there again soon!

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Have people "around" you when you need them

In a group I belong to, S told us that she took us to a job interview with her. We were sitting on the couch while she answered the questions and we chimed in with compliments for S spoken to the hiring manager.

Today we had another big org announcement, second one in two weeks. My boss called me a couple of hours beforehand and asked how I was doing and let me know she was there with me. Taking a cue from S I pretended that my boss was in my office today rather than across the country. It made a highly charged day easier to survive and remain calm.

I hope I remember to take people with me when I need them rather than attempting to survive solo.

Location:Home

Gloucester museum and visiting Star friends

Yesterday, I drove up to Gloucester to visit with B and J. After swimming in their very warm pool, catching up on our lives, and eating a wonderful lunch by the pool, B and I drove over to the Cape Ann Museum of Art. B, who is becoming a docent at this museum, knows that I am a quilter and there is an exhibit right now of a quilter Clara Wainright. Here is a link to one she did names Gloucester Fisherman's Wives Quilt. She has also exhibited in a small museum in our backyard, Decordova.

Many of her quilts have a social action or political statement, like the Fisherman's wives one. Clara also is published in our UU World magazine for her work with quilting in communities in a collaborative way. If I did not have a need to be back home I would have spent the afternoon there. The exhibit closes on June 20th, so I am going to try to get back up there.

What I was left with yesterday is that in our own back yards are wonderful art treasures stored in small museums. This museum has a sea coast origin so there are ship models, and sea paintings. Gloucester and Rockport are known for their artists, so you can only imagine the talent encompassed in this place. I also thought a lot yesterday about how artists often make a political statement by expressing that statement through their art.

BTW, right next door to the museum, is a glass bead maker shop. Again, I could have dropped quite a bit of money in that shop if I had some time to shop. Another reason to go swim with B, and top if off with an afternoon at the Museum. I will go back!

Dumpster Diving - never thought I would

I hope I do not offend anyone with this topic, but I never thought I would resort to dumpster diving. Last week for our Earth Day celebration, we re-branded our recycling so that is it clearer what to recycle where. Our office has made HUGE improvements this past week on our recycling. This combined with the landlord introducing a single stream recycling in our blue recycle office bins.

I found myself all week, reaching into the trash barrel and removing yogurt contains and soda cans for someone who cannot read the signs for where to put plastics and aluminum cans, and instead put recycle things in the trash. I stopped short of saying someone who does not care, because I am practicing "Assume Positive Intent".

We now have ceramic mugs right above the coffee machine, and we moved the paper cups so that they are hard to find. Greg wanted to buy 3 oz. paper cups. I thought that was a bit extreme. We run the mugs through a dishwasher, so there is always a clean one ready to use.

Our minister preached on Green stuff on Sunday and she made the point that this topic of Green and recycling can produce people who are holier-than-thou. I am one of those who is on the cusp of being holier-than-thou, so instead I will stick to dumpster diving and doing their recycling for them. They won't even know I am doing it.

Latest Rant - PST or PDT; EST or EDT

For many years my trigger was being called a "GIRL"! A girl is an immature female species and many men unknowingly in the work place call women, "girl" when she is smart, or aggressive or assertive etc. As I said, they don't realize they are doing this. At Polaroid, a male who worked for me, called me honey and babe, when I gave him less than positive feedback. He also brought his 4 inch thick notebook into his 1-1 and dropped it from 4 feet above the table, onto the table in an effort to intimidate me. It did not work!

Many folks (men and women) have argued with me about this GIRL thing, and I have asked them to just observe. Often they come back and say they also observed it as well. I don't know when this changed but it no longer bugs me as much.

It has been replace with a much tamer trigger/rant.

When people put PST (Pacific Standard Time) and we are actually in PDT (Pacific Daylight Time), this jumps off the page for me. Mind you, details do not usually jump off the page, but this one does. In a conversation just now with a colleague, she puts just PT to get around that.

Am I just older than many people at work? Yes, I am older and I remember when daylight savings time was implemented so the difference between PST and PDT was much more important.

So why has this trigger replace the GIRL trigger? Maybe I have educated enough people around the GIRL issue. Maybe as I get older I don't mind as much being called a GIRL.

I can only store one joke in my memory at a time and tell and retell that joke until I hear the next good one. Maybe rants are the same way and the PDT rant has replace the GIRL rant. I will not promise to raise my eyebrows the next time I hear girl, but I no longer am giving the lecture which starts "A girl is an immature female species . . . "

Harvard Square differences

Last night since we arrived home early from our dinner with Star Island friends, we decided to drive into Harvard Square for a "date". We parked at Huron Ave so we could get our exercise in, walked the 15 minutes to the Square, spent 20 minutes in the Coop, Murg bought 3 books, and then we walked over the the Charles outside hotel bar for a drink. Fortunately the Red Sox game was on so we watched a nail biter as Baltimore scored two in the ninth, closing to within one run.

On our way to the Coop we happened upon this scene. 6 individuals sitting in chairs in a semi circle watching the game on a TV inside a store, facing outward to the street. There were about 15 other people standing around them, since the chairs were all occupied. They could have been at Fenway watching, they could have been at the Charles Hotel with us. We were only a few hundred yards away drinking our beer and Dark and Stormy.

We discussed whether the chairs were their own or had the store provided them with the chairs. We wondered if they were homeless! We wondered if this is a scene for every Sox game! The Red Sox are adored by many people in this area. Watching the game when you are out and about on a Saturday night is easy no matter what your situation in life.

Life is Good, go Red Sox!

I like Change - when I am the one initiating it

Our topic this week at the leadership training I am leading was change. I teach 5-6 models of change during this session, and get students to like about past and future change in their work or family lives, Many students said it was the best one yet.

New topic, but not really, you will see the tie in, I promise. I am a co-leader of our Green Team, and one part of Earth Day was making our recycling clearer, through signage and new bins. Two of us have been taking home plastic and Styrofoam to our town recycling for a year now, and we were going to have to get more folks to take stuff home because of the increased recycling. Yesterday was our Earth Day celebration, and employees walked into the new bins and signage. I asked a lot of them what they thought about the changes. Most like the changes, and some did not even notice.

Our facilities folks have been working with the property management company to do more recycling. Today they sent us an email that they are now going to recycle, IN ONE BIN, everything; paper, plastic, Styrofoam, glass bottles etc.

Wait a minute, we just rolled out our new program and one day later you roll out yours was my first thought. Mind you the facilities person has been telling me that the landlord was going to have increased recycling. I did not know it would be only one day after ours.

Obviously, I like that fact that they are recycling, but I did not like that we did not coordinate with them for the roll out. I actually did not like their change at first because I was not in control of it. Most of us, do not like a change when we are not in control and when someone does IT to us.

Cannot live without a furry beast around the house!

People who know us well, know that our beloved Qammi and brilliant Autumn died last year. It was a sad sad year for animals in the Russell/Lowe/Swartzbaugh house. We have had an animal in the house or barn since 1987 when I snuck the first little kitty into the house under the nose of my new husband. I knew he would not go for a dog, although that came 2 years later. At one point we had 3 cats, a dog and a horse.

Since December, every time I drive up the street, I expect a brown nose to be poking out from under the shade, to greet me. This week we are taking care of two rambunctious dogs and I realized that I MUST HAVE AN ANIMAL around the house.

Concurrent with this, Bee returns from Turkey on May 2nd and we were thinking of a welcome home gift for her. When we had squirrels in the winter, one solution on Murg's facebook entry was to have a cat. Bee asked recently on Skype "Now, that the squirrels are gone are you still considering a cat?"

So all of these forces of nature are coming together and on May 3rd we will be making a trip to the pound to choose a kitty. I don't want this kitty to scratch my furniture, so Bee's solution is to buy a scratching post, take it to the pound and see which feline is attracted to it.

This is her cat BTW, and as soon as she has an apartment where she can keep the cat either legally or illegally (2 bunnies lived illegally in her dorm room last year at Hampshire and then lived at our house last summer. I would rather have a cat than bunnies!), then it leaves 22 Hayes Lane for greener pastures, or apartments as the case may be.

Very Interesting - Grand Challenge Summit today at Wellsley

Today I attended this Grand Challenge Summit at Wellesley, sponsored by Wellesley, Olin and Babson. I was invited because Intuit has hired interns from Olin for the last 3 summers. I had not done my homework prior to the summit, as to what the 14 Grand Challenges are, and will be doing that reading in the next few days.

What was clear, very early on, is that there were a lot of academics attending. There were also quite a few students from the three schools, and a few industry folks like myself. I have some friends who work in colleges and universities and I have had discussions with them about the culture of academia. It is very different from any culture that I have worked in before.

One of the comments that a woman from Harvard made to me on the bus ride from Olin to Wellesley was "Professors don't go through any training on education or how to teach." She said it so matter of fact, and I paused a minute before I burst out laughing and started shaking my head. Seriously? Those individuals, who stand up in front of millions of students all over the world, do not have training in training, or training in education. They are rewarded for research and teaching is a means to an end, of getting the research and being able to do the research.

There were lots of statistics about the future that were quoted. The one that stuck with me is that by 2019, 50% of education will be online education. It was pretty funny to watch a room full of academics squirm in their seats when this prediction was quoted. One man refuted this with all kinds of opinion, and I leaned to my colleague and said "A little bit of resistance, maybe, or job nervousness about job security."

There were some great speakers, some great videos of Grand Challenge students projects, some interesting panels including one of the three presidents of the institutions, Linda Wertheimer and Paul Romer.

I came away with a new desire to help with educational reform, after my efforts have been exhausted with health reform. There is a lot of work to be done in this world and it is being done by a lot of smart people.

A half day out of the office, and I was pretty happy to return this afternoon to my cozy office in corporate America, armed with some new thoughts about education, engineering, culture, innovation, collaboration and Grand Challenges.

Airlines again - good and bad

I know that I have touted the brilliance of customer service for Jet Blue but one agent slipped through the cracks or missed the obligatory customer service training, or as we call it at Intuit, customer success. An agent in Boston on 4/16/2010 was very cranky had a short tempered, dismissive attitude. I could not get close enough to photograph her clearly, so here she is from far enough away that she could not "smack" me either literally or figuratively. She is the one on the left, the one on the right does get it and had a great attitude. This is an anomaly for Jet Blue, to have a cranky service person!

This is where I am confused though. We had a flight to Dulles Airport, deplaned and walked into the hallway, looked for our connecting flight to Orlando, and IT WAS THE EXACT SAME GATE AND PLANE that we had just left, and they made everyone get off. The next flight was a new number, but the same plane and about 20 of us were on both flights. The exact same crew were on both flights.

Why did they do this? Is it TSA related?

BTW - this travel experience was exceptional. Both flights took off on time. They fed us Terra Yukon blue potato chips and sodas. Individual TV screens with lots of channels. Great service except for the agent in Boston (if you forgot, she is on the left in this picture).

We arrived in Orlando, EARLY!

If only they could all be this perfect.

It did occur to me that because of volcano in Iceland Eyjafjallajokul "Ey ya fyat tah YOH kuht" there were a lot less flights from Dulles Boston and Orlando which might explain on time departures on a Friday afternoon the Friday of April school vacation. Am I becoming a cynic in my old age?

It is only one floor away

Yesterday at church, the main floor bathroom was occupied so I went downstairs to use that one and as I walked down the stairs, I realized that I had not been downstairs for a while. I used to go every Sunday when I did youth group, but now that I am not involved with RE (Religious Education), I don't go as frequently. I could also sense that I am getting disconnected from the children and youth in the Church by not going "downstairs". I vowed that I could never get disconnected from the youth in the church and become one of those old fogies who complains about them and their behavior.

Intergenerational interaction are a challenge for any group, and especially our church. We try to raise awareness, by intentionally scheduling activities that get the generations to "play" and "work" together. As an aside the Burlington VT UU church has social hour separate for adults and those involved in RE. This seemed really strange when I noticed this because it really separates youth, children and the possible adults relationships they might be developing when a young person runs, and almost knocks down the 101 year old octogenarian, and the "it takes a community" intervention happens by that loving adult, not always their parent or guardian. In the case of Burlington UU, they have 2 services and there is no place to accommodate all the people who want to be social during social hour.

What I thought yesterday is our challenge at work to get the 6th floor and 7th floor to interact, or even the North side 6th floor and South side 6th floor to interact (they are separated by the kitchenette). We schedule lunches, lectures, social events, and we are still inclined to hang with our familiar buddies. We often discuss this at our leadership meetings, that many employees in different Business Units on the site could share work information and end up helping and supporting each other on work projects, because they are working on the same technology.

There has to be a reason to go to the North side of the floor rather than just wandering over, and there has to be a reason to go "downstairs" at Church rather than to use the bathroom. How have you helped groups, who seem so separate, realize the advantage of reaching out across that boundary of a floor or a kitchenette? Do you have a similar story to my floor kitchenette one?

Sally's Trip to the Dentist

As I lay nearly horizontal in the dentist chair today, of course memories of the dentist chair from my early years came flooding over me. The drills were a lot noisier, a lot slower and a lot more smelly. The Novocaine, I am sure, hurt more. The dentist, I am sure, had NO empathy for the patient. Unfortunately, I spent a lot of hours in the chair as a child.

I now have the most wonderful dentist in the world, Fawn Rosenberg. I refer anyone to her who even hints that they need a dentist, and she sends me 2 free movie passes. Now she has a new technician, who I love. The very first technician that Fawn had, Laura, was wonderful, and since Laura there has not been one I love as much. Mind you, I have been going to Fawn for over 20 years.

I approach the chair, with my distractions and yoga breaths. Today I had my ipod and listened to Mystic Chorale tunes. The technician, talked to me, asked me about myself and in general is what I need in the chair. I need distractions, and I need someone to act as if they really care about me.

Fawn has always cared about me, and today, after my "deep" cleaning, she filled a small cavity at no charge, because it was one she worked on less than one year ago. When was the last time, any professional, did something for you, for free? Dentists have gotten better since I was a kid. The needle however, for Novocaine, is still HUGE!

Length of Blogs and content really matter

I realized just now as I abandoned reading a very long blog, that for me to read a blog to the end it must maintain my interest it needs to be short, and probably fit on one computer screen. Some of this has to do with the advent of facebook and twitter, which are short snippets of information.

I suppose if the blog were well written, that I would continue reading to the very end no matter how long. I also might have kept reading it if the topic were interesting. I landed there surfing the net and through a particular series of clicks, it seemed interesting, but as soon as my interest waned, I scrolled down to see how much more, and since there were 5 computer screens worth, it was not worth my time to finish reading.

So I think the following are important for me to start and finish reading blog posts:

• Interesting title that catches my eye OR
  
• Known author who I follow
• Writing keeps my interest and is therefore well written
• Balance of human interest and humor

Part of the reason I am thinking about blog posts, is that this week I am a guest blogger on the Quickbase Team blog. I am thinking more about my writing, my content and my style. I have never really cared if anyone follows me on my blog, and since I feed my blogs into facebook more people read what I write, and make comments.

My blog is me, pure and simple. Sometimes the posts are long, and a rant, or short and a description of a thought I just had, or something I have been thinking about for a while.

I wonder if this fits on one computer screen?

Life is Not Fair - God are you listening? You messed up down here!

My two facebook posts, said it succinctly because there is a limit to the number of characters but it is now time for a post. In fact, I split a facebook post into two when I encountered the limit this afternoon. That is what cut and paste is for after all.

I have a friend from the late 70s and early 80s, who I have been on and off in touch with since then. We reconnected when she was publishing her first book, I was in her second book and Friday night at Barnes and Noble I just happened to have a neuron fire which said, "I wonder if Susan's third book is out yet?" YES, it is out. The computer said that they had them in stock. I could not find them on the shelf, and the clerk searched high and low to find a copy buried in the stock room. Apparently she involved 5 Barnes and Noble employees in her quest for a copy. The book is not really out yet, since the publication date says May 4, 2010 so I got my hands on a very recently shipped copy, which obviously was not supposed to be out on the shelf yet.

I came home last night, and read 1/3 of the book, and could not sleep this morning past 6am because I wanted to read more. This is what Susan's books do to me. I have to read them all at once, or in a few sessions. She is a great writer, and since I know her, and her story, I am even more intrigued. So this morning, I read another 1/3 before heading out for the day. Just before I left for the day, I emailed Susan that I was loving her book. When I got back from my day, an email from her waited in my inbox. Her husband who she had finally found love with, had died in January of this year. Damnit I said. Life is just not fair. Why couldn't, whoever controls this crap, just leave her alone and let them be happy for a few more years.

She was in her 50s before she met Dennis after her first book "Chosen by a Horse". In fact her second book was about their love affair and was called "Chosen Forever". She deserves someone to love her and to love. She deserves to be happy. It is hard for me right now to be objective and I feel so badly that she had yet another loss in her life.

Life is not fair and if there is a God, she had really made a huge mistake on this one. If only we could give each other some of our happiness, and long lasting love. Must some people be tried and challenged all their life and others seemingly have it easier?

I guess by being in community with each other we do share our souls. We light candles to share joys and sorrows. When someone lights a candle about a past joy or sorrow for us, it helps us move along the journey or grief or pride.

Susan and I are getting together this summer with another friend Barb. We were the dynamic trio in our younger days. We were pretty stupid some days, and we had a lot of fun together. We have a bond from those days such that Susan's pain and sorrow are mine too. Right now I am in the phase of grief that is anger. I am sure Susan is further along the path of grieving.

However, Life is not Fair and for the third time this week, I find myself saying this over and over. These 3 situations on the surface are not about me, but about someone in my web . . . so, in fact, they are about me.

Go Sun Chips!

WOW, last night as we stopped at Maplefields in Milton for our "milk, soda stop" before we traveled across the causeway to the Islands, I wandered over to the snack aisle to see what spoke to me. I LOVE Sun Chips and now I LOVE them even more. The first thing I noticed was that the bag was noisy. OK, they changed their packaging, that is great and now everyone in the store knows that I am snacking on chips. Next, as I tried to get it off the shelf, I literally had to pry it out of the shelf and that brought more noise. I LOVE them so much, I eventually pried them loose.

Murg's first comment was something like, "Wow, that is a noisy bag!"

When we got out of the store (after I bought the most delicious cookie, which will probably be a regular routine now, when we stop for "milk and soda" at Maplefields) I looked at the writing on the bag. 100% compostable and a picture is worth a thousand words, so I am including two for this post.

So not only do I love LOVE sun chips because they are the best tasting, I love them for being 100% compostable, and I love them because they announce to the world that I am buying great, "green" chips.

Shout Out to Sun Chips!

Diversity - Leadership Nugget

With the continuing appearance in my life of leadership topics, a neuron fired this morning in a conversation with a manager. I have tried to communicate this during coaching sessions with managers, many times so now I am documenting it here.

When you are thinking about diversity it is easier to have more than one voice / instance / resource / person. If you are the only woman on a staff, when the men want to hear from women, all eyes turn to you. In fact you are expected to speak for ALL women, when in fact that is quite unfair. I observed this at Polaroid when we were doing work around race diversity. We expected that african americans could speak on many issue for their entire race, which is not the case.

I have found, that in the above example, it is better to have two women or two african americans present on staff. It is easier and safer as that diverse voice to speak up about a woman's issue or a race issue when there is company aka two or more of you. The spotlight is not always on you to speak for ALL your gender or race. You can raise women and race issues easier with support.

In the conversation this morning we were talking about having one member of the group be located at another site, or having two members located there. For on boarding, working, work processes and communication, it will be easier to have two there. The probability of success for those remote workers is as least double by having two located there.

So, when you are thinking about diversity of many kinds, think about having two diverse resources instead of one, and think about the dynamics. The best way to experience this is to imagine when you have been the lone voice somewhere in your life, and then imagine when another joined you.

Diversity comes in many many ways. it is not just race or gender. In the case of the manager this morning, it was being a remote worker.

I'm just Saying - have you done these?

OK, I know that some of you have done some of these. I have done all of them:

• Tried to move stuff on my computer screen the way I do on my iPhone with my finger across the screen


• Undo my seat belt in the car and assume I also opened the door, so was surprised when the door was still shut as I pushed my shoulder into it


• Picked up my iPhone to change the channel on my TV


• Searched all over the house looking for my phone, when I was talking on it


• Put the channel clicker up to my ear to make a phone call


• Tried to use my iPhone as my mouse (I hear that you can buy an App for this)

What other do you have to add to this list, if you have any idea what I am talking about?

Grief - one year later

Just a year ago, Autumn broke his leg and we had to put him down. For about a week prior to today, I have been thinking of today and wondering how I would feel. Too bad that a happy day like St. Patrick's Day is now tainted by memories from a year ago.

As usual with the passage of time, the year has gone quickly, a lot of water over the dam AND it feels like it just happened yesterday. I will never forget how helpless and hopeless I felt that day. I had never seen my daughter or my husband so stricken with grief. There was nothing I could do but cover people with blankets and make sure there was food in front of us.

Bee is so far away this year, and I cannot look in her eyes to see how she is doing, but I have to assume that she is handling it the way she has handled tough things all her life. Not the way I do by wearing it on my sleeve but in her own private, contemplative, appropriate way.

There has been a faint dark cloud following me around most of today. Another year, and another passage of deep felt grief.

Leadership - more of my thoughts - headlines

There has been a lot of discussion lately around me, about leadership. Quickbase added a blog for team leaders with regular blogs on leadership AND my business leader at Intuit presented yesterday his current thoughts on leadership that have been percolating for him.

Both of these got me thinking about what is my view of leadership. I have blogged a few times before about this, so here is the latest installment. First some history.

I managed for the first time in 1977 when I was the manager of two restaurants, Taco Villa, in the Northampton/Amherst area. I started as employee #5 and we built it to 65 employees over 2 sites. Just out of college, this was a fabulous small business experience. I learned hiring, firing, finance, scheduling, process excellence and many more small business skills.

What did I learn about leadership from that experience? It is really hard to fire someone, and role modeling behavior that you want to see, is really important. The first person I fired, I was so upset I rehired him. It was complicated; he was stealing from us and was dating the owner's sister, and they were pregnant at the time. Yes, I said they. Of course the owner, her brother, gave me the assignment to fire him. As I said, it was complicated!

One way I role modelled behavior was washing dishes. Some people just work slowly and they get run over in a fast moving restaurant. The easiest job was washing dishes but you had to work fast. Some people just are not coordinated and don't move fast. I would often throw myself into the dish washing and show them how to organize the job and move fast to keep up in busy times. Some people observed and paid attention, and some ended up as "road kill" on the floor of the restaurant. I think this accomplished two things. It showed that as the manager I was not afraid to get my hands dirty, and wet in this case. It also showed them a system of dish washing that they might not have been aware of. I was always tweaking the system to make it faster and better quality aka clean dishes. BTW, I was also getting a whole bunch of dished washed if we were running out. This explains a lot about why at church, I jump into the dish washing job more often than not. Of course, I have to fight Murg for it, because it is a perfect introvert job.

My second experience with managing was in the early 1990s when I managed a team of 18 people at Polaroid. I had IT, planning, finance, work redesign and training working for me. Here I learned to pay attention to what motivates someone and to use that information for coaching and developing. I learned that everyone is an individual and you need to tailor your development to them. The conversations are all different. I also learned here to not play favorites among my direct reporta and that admitting a mistake is one of the best things you can do as a leader. It buys you a lot.

I have managed a few people since that time but not a huge team. Some day I want to manage a large team again to apply all of the leadership training skills that I have been imparting on 100s of managers in the last 20 years.

So what does this say about my leadership philosophy. Here are the headlines:

• Don't play favorites
• Listen to people to figure out strengths and individual motivations
• Be courageous enough to move or fire someone if they are in the wrong position. They almost always end up in a better spot than the one they are currently in
• As a Myers Briggs "F" and "P", managing these preferences in the workplace is critical
• I am really good as sensing what is going on with people even when they are totally unaware. Use this a a tool and realize it is a gift

So for today 3-17-10, those are my headlines. Unlike my business leader, my thoughts are more scattered, maybe not as clear, but they are mine.

Technology Fails Multiple times

I have written a couple of posts from my iPhone but this time it is because of the title of this post.

I got to the Hilton on sunday night expecting to get a little bit of work done. In retrospect I should have connected to VA's wireless on the flight.

I spent 90 minutes trying to connect to their wireless and by then it was 2am EST. This was after spending 30 minutes with tier 1 and 2 tech support. That did not work so I called the front desk and they sent an engineer to my room with a network cable. They advertise wireless and I wanted wireless. The night ended with me refusing to switch rooms and being rather cranky to the hotel person I called at the front desk. Both technical people said that connectivity was a problem and wireless was dodgy. I believed them over the front desk person who said I was the only room having problems.

When I got to the office, this Intuit office does not have wireless like the other Intuit offices so I moved to an office with a network cable and that office did not have a working phone. That help desk ticket is still open 36 hours later. I could not print since unlike other places at Intuit you cannot install a printer by yourself. IT has to do that. I am near the capacity of rollover minutes on my iPhone so don't want to solely use that.

The kicker is that I could not get to my blog to write this at work since this is not a business site, and gets blocked by big brother at this work site . . . and the hotel wireless is still not working.

iPhone saves the day! And now I will finish this is the business center in the lobby of the hotel not in my PJs in my room, but wish I were.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I will not be thrown off my game by "stealing"/losing

Last weekend, was really strange for identity. Bee's wallet was stolen so we had to cancel our joint credit card, AND I lost my work badge, office key and VPN token (unfortunately they are all on one lanyard, silly me).

I realized at the end of this week that some of my cycles have been spent this week recapturing my identity. Physically my badge, key and token and then the credit card stuff. Technology is supposed to simplify things for us and at the same time it has complicated things for us. It allows another avenue for thieves for instance.

This is the third time in a year that we have had to get a new credit card. There are a lot of people out there "stealing". Bee's wallet and our identity.

Wouldn't it be easier to just have our fingerprint be our "credit card", office access, ignition, anywhere we need to ENTER. Some day but in the mean time we depend on those 2X3 pieces of plastic, that identify us and allow us to buy.

Time Management - Leadership series

When I teach time management I always say that you need to find the system that works for you. Franklin planners will never work for me, they are too structured and too much organization.

As a true ENFP, I am constantly refining how I organize my time in order to stay sane. I now carry a small notebook every where with me and take notes. SOMETIMES, I put a check box besides a TODO item so I can glance quickly back through my notebook and find TODOs.

This week I am trying something different. I bought myself some new colored pens, and each day I am switching the color of pen I use, in order to track which day was which.

Just now I was cleaning up my hard drive, and found a file named "Talent Plans" that would have been really helpful to find earlier this week, so I put it back where I naturally was looking for it. It will easier to work on my deliverable if it is there, but when I made that folder on my desktop, I thought it would simplify things. It DID NOT.

Another thing I tried this week with mild success is to write on my whiteboard, in RED, the strategic tasks and in BLUE the tactical tasks. My role requires me to work on more strategic things YEAH, so this helps me determine if I am working a majority of the time on the right things. It is helping with that measurement.

Time management is a constantly iterating process for me which matching my MBTI type. What I have put in place helps me order my life and somewhat fits into my preferences, but sometimes like with the Talent Plans folder, it trips me up.

Advice, find your system that fits your personality and stick with it, or in my case keep iterating and improving the one you have. Back to the RED items on my board.

Health insurance reform, oh and BTW solving world hunger

Twice in 24 hours I noticed part of our health care system that are abolutely riduclously broken. The first one is the filling of prescriptions. My doctor gives me the prescriptions for an entire year, but I still have to go back every 30 or 90 days and get them filled. As I sat and waited at Walgreen's, I just fumed. So many little plastic bottles, only 10% full, leaving that register every 30 days. The paper to print the prescription, the paper bag it goes in, the time for the pharmacist. What a waste! It was not like this before the litiguous nature of health care.

The second one was getting my blood taken. I just had my blood taken in December for a series of tests. With technology, did they not know that I had not had blood taken for 18 months for my thryoid medication. Why did they not run that test at the same time? They have my electronic health records. The receptionist lectured me that I have not had my blood taken for 2 years. LIAR, I had it taken at YOUR office in December. You could have seen, if you looked into my records at that time.

OK, there are much bigger parts of our health care that are broken, so these ones are little and remote, but they bugged me this week!

Fox and Geese

Did you play this game in the snow as a kid? We did, but apparently I failed as a mother because my oldest had never played until Sunday when we played at Coniston. Yes, imagine mostly 50+ adults on a very mishappen diagram running around on their creaky joints.

It was part of our impromptu winter olympics which included cross country skiing, bocce, kickers(sp?) (aka horse shoes) and snow shoeing.

Needless to say it was fun and brought back childhood memories. We did not follow the same rules as when we were kids but the Internet is wonderful for finding rules to all kinds of games.

We added snow balls to the mix since some of us don't run so fast so you could tag someone with a snow ball.


Fun was had by all and C has played fox and geese now.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Isn't a Silver Medal still very very good?

We watched that hockey game in the loft of Coniston. M brought a projection system, and we got a rabbit ears signal from Plattsburgh NY. It was a very exciting game to watch with many family members. A variety of Adirondack chairs, camp chairs, and dining room chairs gathered around the TV.

I was obviously disappointed that our boys did not win, but my overwhelming feeling was, "They still did pretty good, silver is a good medal to get." Brother M disagreed. Second place is just not good, nothing to brag about. Really? Only gold medals have bragging rights, second place does not rate at all?

I am not sure whether this is an indication of competitiveness, or cooperation or gender or what. I do know that I have come in second place before and been slightly disappointed but still proud to have second place.

None of the US hockey players were smiling or looked even happy to have second place and a silver medal. OMG, they scored on the Canadians with 24 seconds to go. Wasn't that a feat and something to be proud of? They held them off from scoring a third goal for most of 2 periods. Isn't that something to be proud of?

I guess only gold medals and first place positions have bragging rights. Sad face, and disappointment from Sally.

Sally is a nickname for Sarah - alert the media

Wow, I really did not think I would have to fight this battle, aka educate the entire world that Sally is a nickname for Sarah. In my observation, only Sallys and Sarahs know this little piece of trivia.

At our annual February Star Island Corporation retreat, the opening exercise was to make a name tag with your nickname on it. Being the rebel that I am I put my actual name on it SARAH. Sally is my nickname, but only for one summer, and the 30 hours of the retreat have people actually called me Sarah.

I am a seventh generation Sarah, my Mom is a sixth generation one, and is Sarah Virginia, always called Ginny. I think at birth I was nicknamed Sally.

The battle with officials and authorities continues. I once almost could not board a plane after 9/11 because my passport says Sarah and the ticket said Sally. Yesterday my doctor's office receptionist said "You almost did not get this message because your answering machine says Sally." I get this probably twice a week.

OK, why can Roberts be Bob, even with a different starting letter? Why is William ok to be Bill, also different starting letter? Margaret and Peg? You see where I am going. Sally and Sarah even start with the same letter!

So I am thinking of reclaiming my name of Sarah. It was pretty easy for the 30 hours of the retreat. It would solve all of those "I thought your name was Sally!" from the receptionists and officials.

Don't like the weather - wait a minute

As I sit here on a Sunday morning, looking out Channel 1, it is fogged in. I can barely see the road and when I first saw it, I thought it was a blizzard. It should be a blizzard at this time of year but in keeping with this strange weather year, it is fog.

Yesterday, Murg and I walked out on the causeway which is an old train bed that used to connect South Hero to Colchester. There is a small "cut" in the causeway for the boats to get out of the Colchester bay/harbor. As we looked east to Mount Mansfield, they were enclosed in a cloud of either rain or snow. As we looked west to White Face, it was also enclosed in either. Looking south, we saw Burlington in a dark cloud, but further south it was sunny. This 360 degree panorama is wonderful. We also knew that at any time, the weather could change, and we could get wet.

When we got back to Coniston for 3.5 minutes we had a snow squall. I really thought at that point that we would get more precipitation, but that was it.

There is an expression "If you don't like the weather in Vermont, wait a minute." This was totally applicable yesterday.

As an aside, a truck drove over the ice while we were talking from the Colchester side to South Hero and an ice fisherman with 4 dogs was fishing out on the ice. He did not drive his truck out but only because 200 feet away there is open water, or maybe because his license plate was NH and he does not know that it is still safe to drive on the ice, apparently. The sign of spring in Vermont is when the first truck falls through the ice. This year spring will come sooner than most, given how little ice there is.

Just wondering - did Outlook change the way we work and think?

As I set here on the plane, I can see the person across the aisle and he has his outlook calendar open. It looks pretty much the same as mine, full. Is he sitting there as I have been sitting here, wondering where I might have a free 5 minutes tomorrow? Is he contemplating how to solve for the double bookings?

That picture of an Outlook calendar is how many over 50% of working folk, organize their day and go through their day. I don't even need to see his details to understand what his days look like.

A senior executive at that great company I work for, keeps 30% of his calendar free. I think this is a wonderful effort, because he is then available when people need to drop in. I don't think many of us do that.

So, I wonder if we should stop relying on Outlook to drive our days? I wonder if we have gone overboard with calendaring and on the hour meetings? Microsoft has an incredible influence on how we work. I am not sure this is a good thing. I'm just saying.

Obligatory Flying Blog Post

I am currently on WIFI on a Virgin America from BOS to SFO. When I got to the airport this morning, and glanced up at the screen, our flight was delayed. OH NO! was my first thought. I approached the desk and asked what was going on? The agent said "The incoming flight is 40 minutes late, and we will turn the plane around ASAP." AND THEY DID. I facebooked that even though it was delayed I trusted the agent, because Virgin America has earned my trust with their honesty.

I did experience some difficulty getting into Gogoinflight, but once in, I am able to be "at work" for the entire flight. Oh yes, I can check personal email and facebook as well.

The agents are friendly and honest and funny and helpful. I am just not sure why I would fly another airline it I did not have to.

When I arrived this morning I had tons of time, so I put on my sneakers and walked all around Terminals A, B and C, and when I say all around, I mean all around. It was great to get my exercing done before getting on the flight.Jet Blue and Air Tran have lots of flights leaving from C on Monday morning. School vacation week for NH and lots of people escaping to Florida and the Caribbean. US Airways was quiet as was Continental. American and United were busy.

So once again, as I support a group for Intuit that is located in LA for a few months, it is a good thing that VA (Virgin America) flies to LA. I am going to rack up some frequent flyer points on this airline, happily.