Grief revisited today

This collage sits on my desk of
Daddy as a little boy and a
family needlepoint

When I hear of another death it allows me to revisit the losses in my life.  Yesterday, through as email from a dear friend, we heard of a 20 year old who took his own life.  It stopped me in my tracks as I felt deeply for his family.  I wondered how it would be best to reach out to them and I plan to attend a wake or service when they happen.

17 years ago today, my world stopped as Daddy died suddenly.  A dark veil was dropped on me that day, and the veil will always be there.  It is thinner now, but it is always there. I will never forget that split second when my brother Charles, on the phone, told me that Daddy had died.  We knew earlier that he was in surgery for an aneurysm, and that his chances of living were slim, but there was always a bit of hope. 

My legs collapsed underneath me and a few minutes later, a friend handed me a glass of water.  I was at a youth retreat with Christopher, and the leaders conducted a service of grief for all the youth and leaders.  It was a perfect service to share our very recent grief, and to allow the others in the circle to share griefs they had never spoken aloud.

It was the exact place for Christopher and myself to be as we prepared to travel a few hours to my family home, and grieve deeply with my mother and siblings.  Rod and Bethany travelled the two hours from Lexington and picked us up and we drove to Brandon to arrive there in the wee hours of the next day.

The next week was a blur, of family and friends stopping by with bundt cakes, and burying Daddy in a family cemetery in New Haven VT.

Every November 4th, I stop and grieve, and today I also grieve for that young man who was in such despair that he could not go on living.

Hug your loved ones today, enjoy each connection you have today with another person who is dear to you.