ʎɐp sןooɟ ןıɹdɐ ʎddɐɥ

˙ǝʇısqǝʍ ǝɥʇ oʇ ʞɔɐq ǝɔɐɹʇ ɐ puɐ ǝʇɐpdn ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ɐ pɐɥ oɥʍ 'ı oʇ sʞuɐɥʇ sı ǝƃɐssǝɯ sıɥʇ ˙ɟǝıןǝɹ ǝןʇʇıן ɐ sı sıɥʇ 'sʍǝu ǝɥʇ uı dɐɹɔ ǝɥʇ ןןɐ ɥʇıʍ ˙ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ʎɐp sןooɟ ןıɹdɐ ʎddɐɥ 'ooɥ ʎuɐ ¿sʍouʞ oɥʍ ˙ɯıɥ puɐɯıɹdǝɹ ʇouuɐɔ noʎ ʇɐɥʇ ǝןıɯs ɥsıdɯı uɐ sɐɥ ǝɥ ǝqʎɐɯ ˙ǝɔɐןd ɟo ʇno ɹıɐɥ ǝןƃuıs ɐ ɥʇıʍ ʎɐʍɐ ʇǝƃ ʇou pןnoɔ sn ɟo ʇsǝɹ ǝɥʇ ˙ʎuunɟ ʎɹǝʌ sɐʍ ǝɥ ʇɥƃnoɥʇ uınɾ ǝɯɐpɐɯ ˙sɹǝdɐd ɥɔuǝɹɟ sıɥ uo spɹɐʍʞɔɐq ǝʌısɹnɔ uı ǝɯɐu sıɥ ǝʇıɹʍ oʇ pǝsn sǝןɹɐɥɔ ɹǝɥʇoɹq ʎɯ ˙ǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ ʎɐp sןooɟ ןıɹdɐ ʎddɐɥ ˙sıɥʇ ɟo ʞuıɥʇ ʇou ı pıp ʎɥʍ 'ʍoʍ

and the website in case I ever need it

http://www.whatsmyip.org/upsidedowntext/

Words of wisdom from Forrest

Yesterday I went to All Souls UU church on the upper east side of NYC. It is a really beautiful church. Forrest Church preached a great sermon. During it he mentioned that he has said these before but since this was my first time hearing it, I was pretty struck.

Remeber 3 things he said:
Like what you have
Do what you can
Be who you are

I was with A at the service, and she wrote them down to give to her son who is about to graduate from college. I said them over and over to myself so I would remember them. I knew A had written them down as well. I did not want to lose this nugget, so now that I have blogged it, I will know where to go in case I forget.

NYC - great long weekend

This is just how we think and it is amazing how in sync we usually are. We were invited to attend a donor recognition event for our beloved Star Island, and the options were in MA or NYC. The weekend for the MA one was one of our VT weekends, so we said "Let's attend the NYC one and make a weekend of it."

I am sitting on the Bolt bus for our return bus trip and I have to say we fit a lot into the weekend. In somewhat chronological order here is what we did:

*Left 8:30 pm on Thursday night from South Station
*Arrived at Midnight at Penn Station and cab to Pod Hotel on 51st between 2nd and 3rd (Try it sometime, very small funky room, but exactly enough space for showering and sleeping, which is all you need a hotel room for anyway)
*Walked to Times Square and ate a light bite at 24 hour restaurant across the street from Lindy's. We were headed to Lindy's for the obligatory cheese cake but they were closed at 1:30 am. The nerve . . .
*Home to bed, clock said 2am, but it had not been changed from EST to EDT, we actually went to bed at 3am and got up at 9am the next morning
*Bought 1-day metro pass (we did this all 3 days) and traveled via bus to Natural History Museum. Spent most of the day there with a short break to have a bagel from H&H. I loved the gem and mineral wing.
*Walked back across Central Park to our hotel,(79th across the park, then down Madison to 51st and I might add, there were no Starbucks on Madison in all of those blocks) freshened up, and took bus up to Yorkville to dine with the Mays
*Walked home from East 83rd to 51st since it was 20 minutes before the next bus and we had planned to get on the bus when it caught up with us. This never happened. Just a few 32, short blocks
*Down the next morning to Greenwich Village, bought cheap but good stuff at a street fair, after breakfast at diner
*Up to the theater district to see Jane Fonda in 33 Variations (GO SEE IT)
*Quick dinner with friend who is chairing All Star II this year.
*To the donor recognition dinner on Central Park West.
*Back on Subway, finally had obligatory Lindys's cheese cake
*Crashed into bed
*Up this morning to breakfast, I went to All Souls and a quick brunch with 2 friends. Rod walked over to 8th and 9th then to MOMA
*Lunch at Rockefeller Center, poked around in some more shops
*Took subway to 34th and caught the Bolt bus.

Yes, we packed a lot into the weekend. We saw some friends and missed seeing some others. Not enough time in the day to catch up with everyone. Next time.

One of our dreams/plans is to live in NYC for an extended period 6-12 months. Each time we go for a long weekend, we explore areas we have never explored before. We have learned to take the bus coz you can see the neighborhoods. We have learned to not take the bus around matinee time. We got off and walked to the theater and beat the bus by many minutes. The diversity and unique areas are infinite. There is a lot to see.

All in all it was a great time. I AM EXHAUSTED.

Yoga the next phase

My friend K recommended the Book "Breakfast with Buddha". I am 3/4 of the way through it and really love it. Last night I was reading about a yoga class that the 2 main characters in the book participated in. The non-yogi explained a feeling lying in corpse pose, which is the final meditative part of a yoga practice. In a discussion the yogi explained that he is in that state, almost all the time. Maybe, all the time. I cannot remember those details.

So, it got me thinking about 2 things. 1) I need to meditate in small doses. 5 minutes in our covenant group, every other week, and 5 minutes in yoga class twice a week. In a 4 week month that is 50 minutes. My friend Laura said once "I don't do math in public." but per that last sentence, I guess I do. I am going to try to put more meditation in my months.

The second thing I have been thinking about is the non-violence training that I went through a few weeks ago with 300 other Lexingtonians. Our training helped us take spewing foul language for 45 minutes, and to not react. This has helped me not react to others as well. It has really helped me realize what my baggage is, and what others' baggage is. With the WBC, it was very clear that their spewing was their baggage and it was easy to leave it in the middle or Worthen Road. With this new skill, I can NOT react to situations whereas in the past I might have reacted is a not very healthy way.

Both of these thoughts are very cleansing to me.

Worry - I continue to explore this one

Within the last year our covenant group explored the topic of WORRY. At the time, some brilliant member said "Worry is the misuse of imagination". I have repeated that to many folks during the year. Some have even put it on the signature of their email.

BINGO - yesterday on Twitter, and I am not sure of the origin or I would give them credit, I found another quote. Not a better one, just another one:

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow - it empties today of strength."

So as a closet worrier, or maybe a not so closet worrier, this one helps me move the needle on my exploration of worry.

Burying my grief in a shuffling Ipod

After my last post, I took our dog for a walk. My iPod is on shuffle, so the first song was Ave Maria, Pavarotti and friends. It was kismet that this was my first song. As I always do with my favorite songs, I rewound that song 3 times. Then came on Alan Sherman 12 days of Christmas. Back to back Pavarotti and Alan Sherman, huh? Yes, my preferred mode of listening is shuffle. It validates my ENFP MBTI type. The last song as I walked up the front steps was put on by C, last year for my birthday, a Phish.

Night grief is made easier by:

rising sun
walk with the dog
shuffling iPod
laughing at myself

Too sad to sleep

Rarely do I have insomnia. Last night, or rather early this morning I did. I slept until 2:30 am but then thoughts of sadness invaded my pillow and I could not get back to sleep. After Daddy died my sister and I had an agreement that we could call each otnher any time of day or night that we wanted. I think we both took advantage of this at least once. In the middle of the night to be so alone with grief is really hard. Or maybe that is when grief work is best. Cannot be distracted, cannot go anywhere with it.

Usually when I cannot sleep I do a really silly routine. This is it. When I graduated from college, my cousin from Colorado, her best friend and my best friend from college and I went to Europe for 6 weeks. It was a really great trip. So when I cannot sleep, I go through that trip chronologically. Mostly, I remember briefly the town we spent that day in. I don't usually get past the 4th or 5th night before I am asleep. This works for me, counting sheep does not work. Last night I tried this routine twice, but my grief would not be fooled by silly routines. So at 6am it became legitimate to get up and here I sit on the couch, watching stupid early moring TV, with my chocolate lab asleep at my side. It was a long night of unsleep.