Gossip - what a topic!

The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls." ~

Elizabeth Cady Stanton (born November 12, 1815)

Gossip was our topic last night in our covenant group. One of the members sent out this quote to share with us after the discussion. It resonated with me and is now my quote of the day.

There were many complexities of this topic and the ones that stuck with me were:

1) there is a subtle or maybe not so subtle difference between sharing information and gossiping and one lens to look at is through is what was the intent. A malicious intent is gossiping

2) Some of us were treated not so nicely in our childhoods by people talking behind our back and spreading rumors (middle school aged kids can be so mean as they sort out the pecking order) and this colors our reaction to whether it is gossip, and therefore hurtful or just sharing of knowledge.

3) I thought this would be a rather shallow topic and once again was surprised by the covenant group process. Take a seemingly shallow topic, put a trusting group of people in a circle, listen to each other, shift and move your thinking based on what you hear and say and after 90 minutes, you know those people better and you know yourself better.

For me, I have developed a little tougher exterior to what might be being said behind my back. I don't view it as gossip but rather that person's perception of me. Their story that they need to tell others. Often it is not about me but about them.

So how do you share information about others without it being perceived as gossiping and hurtful? I think I know gossip when I see it, but will look at it with lenses of intent and insecurity.