I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I hear about news from people in our community who are experiencing difficulty in their lives. I often want to reach out to them but don't know what to say or what to offer. This topic of asking for help, offering help and receiving help is an interesting one. In my conversations with people, some of us have trouble asking for help, while others have no problem at all with this.
I for one have trouble receiving help. When someone offers help it often ends with me saying out loud or to myself "I can do that myself". I think my daughter has inherited this from me. The best example is that we only were able to show her once how to tie her shoes. It might take her 30 minutes but she was going to tie them herself after that one demonstration. We waited patiently or impatiently while she tied them, and she still is like that most of the time. She is quite an independent adult.
Lately, when I offer help, rather than a generic "What do you need?", I try to guess what might be helpful. Do you need me to get something for you? Do you need me to watch your kid? Do you want a copy of the daily newspaper? etc. They can always say" NO, I need you to do this", but it opens the conversation and allows them to think about what might be helpful.
I am trying to get better at receiving help from others, and asking for help when I need it. I guess if I did NOT see it as a weakness or ineptitude it might be easier to ask for and receive help. It is so easy for me to offer and so difficult to receive. I am working on it, and in the meantime I try to be as specific as possible when I offer help to others.
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