What are you afraid of? What are they afraid of?

At our HR off site, we had a box of questions and to get to know each other, we randomly pulled one out and answered it. Being the extrovert that I am, I wanted to answer every one, unlike the extreme introvert, who was visibly in pain at the thought of the question she/he might get. From MBTI experience for almost 20 years and without the actual data, this is a difference between Is and Es; how much they want to share their personal life with others. Obviously I want to share nearly everything with many people as evidenced by this blog.

So, I am afraid of being destitute. I am also afraid of snakes and fish that move quickly in the water, but my biggest fear, and the one that keeps me up at night, is of being destitute. Unless something rather extraordinary happens, there is no way this is going to happen, ever. Try telling that to my inner child, the one that is not as sheltered by rationale thoughts.

I was even in a conversation with someone last week where I contemplated and said out loud "It actually would be OK to be homeless in my later years, because you are on your way out anyway." I don't mean to be disrespectful of people who find themselves homeless by this comment, I honestly think I would be OK, if I were homeless as long as the climate I was in was not New England and in fact Florida or the South West is where we decided it might be OK.

Homlessness also came up this week in my prior blog, about how well San Francisco takes care of their homeless. It is an OK climate for homelessness, as long as you don't mind getting damp. At least you don't have 20 degree below weather to contend with in SF the way you do in VT.

So what are you afraid of, what is your biggest fear, the one that keeps you up at night? If we know this about each other, then working with them, and understanding them is a lot easier.

I often say to my leadership classes during a discussion of what triggers them, "If someone triggers you, ask yourself what they are afraid of. It will explain their behavior, and make is easier for you to understand and work with them." Some times I get a quizzical look when I say this, and sometimes I get a nod of the head. What can I say, this technique helps me cope when I remember to pause and ask the question, "What are they afraid of?"