Friday, June 15, 2012

Being in the Moment

My second hospice visits happened today after I was cleared to resume visiting. Wednesday I went in to have my second TB test checked and it was positive. YIKES! I quickly got a chest X-ray which determined that I don't have TB. False positives are pretty common it turns out. I actually did not panic during the 24+ hours where it was not clear whether I had TB or not. After all, what help would worry do to the situation. I had TB or not.

In my first visit, I really connected with one person so I was looking forward to that visit. We had a wonderful half hour and she seemed to be tired so I left her. At this facility, they wheel the patients into the hall which is good since they interact with others and can see what is going on. It does make for a crowded hallway.

I then visited with the second person, which was my first visit with her. She was pretty out of it, so I held her hands and tried to make sense of what she was saying. It was not easy to understand her, so I let it be. She drifted off to sleep and I drifted away.

Neither person knew that outside was a beautiful sunny day. Maybe it is not important for them to know. In a way I leave that all outside when I enter the front door. The need to see the sun is my need not theirs' although I am still going to keep asking them.

I felt the most successful today, when I centered myself, eliminated any expectations, and met them where they were. The nurse for the first patient said, "That was a really good visit. She seemed to enjoy it.". That comment was icing on the cake.

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1 comment:

susanb said...

You may want to read 'final gifts' Understanding the special awareness, needs, and communications of the dying. What is really interesting is how the talk takes on symbolism near death.