My latest thinking of human behavior is oriented around being invisible. Some of us want to be invisible at times, but that is not what I am talking about in this post. That is a choice ones make. What I am talking about is when you are made to feel invisible.
I have often said that when someone acts up, they are afraid of something, My latest thinking is that often people act unusually when they are being ignored, dismissed or in another way made to feel invisible. This could be that they are not being listened to, or are talked over in a conversation.
Most frequently, it is in a meeting when they say something and someone else says the exact same thing 2 seconds later and get listened to or credited with the initial thought.
The behavior shows up as talking louder, physically inserting themselves further into the center of the conversation, or even saying, "What about me?" Extreme behaviors are passive aggressive behavior, or even lashing out at someone for no apparent reason.
How did I get to this thinking you ask? Because I have been observing myself and when I get irritated with others. It is usually because I am feeling invisible.
I recently ran an exercise for a board and asked them to think about a time when they were not listened to or felt invisible. It was very helpful, because for the rest of the 2 day board meeting we could refer to this ice breaking activity. I was struck by one response where someone said "I don't feel badly at all when I am not heard, listened to, or made to feel invisible." BS BTW. I think this person is just not as aware of themselves and their reactions.
These refined thoughts are in my tool box for now, ready to pull out for a coaching session, or interaction when I need to use them.
When do you feel invisible and not listened to, and how do you behave when you have that feeling? Just curious........
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