Always Asking Why (?) - Sarah's ramblings: Helping - interesting book and interesting concept

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Helping - interesting book and interesting concept

I just returned from an ODLG meeting hearing the author Ed Schein talk about his new book, "Helping"

I am too tired right now to fully process most of the thoughts from the book that I just heard about but I definitely want to follow up soon on these thoughts.

Some insights are that asking for help puts you in a ONE DOWN position. Offering help is not always what is needed in a certain situation. Don't offer help unless you know what the helpee needs or wants.

I often offer help, when that is not really what the other person wants. I do this to be helpful and to please. Good intentions, good reasons, but not always well received, or even necessary to offer.

Off to bed now, coz of too many late nights. I am requesting the book from the library and I am sure will have an update once I actually read the book and get into it.

No comments:

Quote of the "Day" Archive

What other people think about me is none of my business. - apparently from AA and something I have used hundreds of times since I heard it
True Vermonter comment "I love waking up in the morning and seeing snow"
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who like "Love Actually" and those who have no soul. - post on the internet about debate over the movie
"It's not a terrible idea." Gary Kunz August 2013
Help us to be ever faithful gardeners of the spirit, who know that without darkness nothing comes to birth, and without light nothing flowers. ~ May Sarton
check engine light in my car is on again. check engine light is on in my life too. Shamelessly borrowed from FB friend
From Joni Abbadessa - One Flaw In Women Women have strengths that amaze men... They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in.. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they Think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideas. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give. HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
'Normal' is a setting on a dryer. Shamelessly borrowed from Marshall.
Go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.
Vermont is a state I love... I love Vermont because of her hills and valleys, her scenery and invigorating climate, but most of all, I love her because of her indomitable people. They are a race of pioneers who almost impoverished themselves for love of others. If ever the spirit of liberty should vanish from the rest of the Union, it could be restored by the generous share held by the people in this brave little State of Vermont." -- Calvin Coolidge, after the floods of 1927 - shamelessly borrowed from Sherry Russell's facebook post
Someone once said - "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living." Shamelessly borrowed from Phil's facebook page
"Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh?" he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's hand. "I just wanted to be sure of you.
I often wish they sold "roundup" for people.....
"Are my words true? Are my words necessary? Are my words kind? If not, let me hold my speech."- Sufi (From friend's UU Church Covenant)
The opposite of faith is certainty. Anne Lamott
Of course your family know how to push your buttons. They installed them. - Student in my leadership class
"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment" - Rumi (shamelessly borrowed from a friend's facebook update)
"This is what change looks like. It happens in steps. And it takes perseverance and courage." - Barak Obama (after health care reform passed) stolen from facebook of a friend
If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the people to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea. ----Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince
If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went - Will Rogers
The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls." ~
Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol, morphine or idealism.- Carl Jung
“Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” - Abraham Lincoln
Worry is like a rocking chair — it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. — Dorothy Galyean
As I sit here sipping my perfectly French-pressed coffee (I got it right the first time!), I’m looking out onto bunnies romping through a great meadow with the sun streaming into a cozy, wood-stove warmed living room! Idyllic indeed! You may not get us to leave! - Visitor at Coniston
From Tania's blog Little boy on steam railway (shrieks): "I've got a stone in my shoe!" Granny (coolly): "If you shout it that loudly, everyone will want one."
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. ~ Carl Jung
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." ~Alvin Toffler
The traditional Chinese character for the word “listen” is made up of symbols for the eye, the number 10 and the heart. Why? To remind you to listen as though you had 10 eyes and a big heart. Practice this principle the next time a difficult employee or distant colleague walks through your open door. Watch patiently, listen closely and talk less. From Jayne Korn
"Twit-cision. noun. a decision made that has relevance only to the twitter-verse. In all other -verses it is non-sensical and ridiculous.
Uninstalling everything finally worked. Unfortunately I also had to uninstall what's left of my hair in the process. :) (Comment about MS software)
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. John F. Kennedy
In the course of this life, I have had a great many encounters with a great many people who have been concerned with matters of consequence. I have lived a great deal among grown-ups. I have seen them intimately, close at hand. And that hasn’t much improved my opinion of them. "The Little Prince"
There are two important rules in life. Rule#1: Never tell anyone everything you know. - Debbie's facebook
raw wind, stinging snow, the old year leaves as it came: nasty, brutish, cold - from Blog of one of my favorite UU ministers
October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June,December, August, and February.Mark Twain -taken from signature of Tom Wanderer's email
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. Robert Frost
Paraphrasing Dana Greeley: "without grinding the wheat there is no bread; without crushing the grapes there is no wine; without grappling with issues and giving of ourselves, there is no community." (From a letter written my friends to try to be in right relationship with a community)
"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." --A.A. Milne (shamelessly borrowed from my hubby's email signature)
As Maya Angelou has quoted, "...giving liberates the soul of the giver."
The British Unitarian and naturalist Charles Darwin wrote, “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind"
Why not seize the pleasure at once? How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation?
Email spam from Judy MAY OUR FRIENDSHIP NEVER COME APART ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART!
"Nobody listens to me until they believe me" Sarah Hazel Swartzbaugh age 6