While driving to dinner last night both Murg and I agreed that it has been too long away from Coniston. We missed a weekend the week that Autumn died, and last month was a 5 week Sunday month. I don't feel as centered, I feel like there is something missing in my life. We have gotten into the habit of being there every other weekend, and we got out of that habit by missing one weekend. If I had planned it better we could be up there this weekend.
What this all says to me is that a year ago, going on a lot of intutive decision making, we made a really good decision. We might not have been so eager to own a second home this year with the financial crisis.
Also at dinner last night we counted our blessings. Good solid jobs, fun vacations planned for the year with family and friends, wonderful kids who are not kids any more but more like grown-up friends, wonderful spiritual communities.
Yes, we are very lucky AND I believe that we all create our own destiny, so it is some luck and some intention. For once in my life I feel like I deserve to be this happy and fortunate. Now, I just need to get back up to Coniston to see that sun rise from behind the Green Mountains, and to take a deep sigh and realize that I have come home to Vermont.
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