Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Groups end, not always elegantly

There is a well know model of group formation that many are familiar with. The Forming, Norming, Storming, Performing model. There is a little known stage that some practitioners use that is called Adjourning or Transforming.

I suspect there are a few reasons why they don't end elegantly. We don't want them to end, we don't want to say goodbye, and probably a few others. I think the most important is that we are not taught to say goodbye or how to end a group. A group I belong to says that if you are going to leave, you have to come back to say goodbye at one last session. That groups forces us to face the feelings associated with goodbyes. Anger, sadness, feeling of desertion to name a few. It also gives us practice as we say goodbye each time to a member.

This saying goodbye to groups, is very closely related to feelings of grief. Some religions have a great process of grief, and we could probably learn from them about how to end groups. The feelings might not be as intense but they are the same feelings.

As a growth opportunity for me, I am going to pay attention to groups and try to help them end elegantly. It is an ugly scene when they don't end well and I for one have scars from three of them that meant a lot to me and crashed and burned as they ended.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

No comments: